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Americans regret not recording stories of their loved ones—don’t be one of them.
Recording loved ones' stories is important to most Americans, and yet not even half of us have done so. Here, resources to make memory-keeping easier.
A recent poll of more than 6,000 Americans showed that only one in three Americans has recorded or documented a conversation with a loved one in order to preserve their memory of them.
Nearly half of those polled say they regret not doing so with someone who has died.
These stats sadden me, a devoted storyteller whose mission is to help as many people as possible preserve their own memories—and those of loved ones—for the next generations. While it saddens me, though, it doesn’t surprise me.
Why am I not surprised?
Why am I not surprised that so few people have taken the initiative to record stories from their loved ones? Well, first of all, it’s easy (so easy!) to take for granted that those we love will always be there. We don’t want to think about a time when they won’t—and preserving their stories for the future seems to somehow bring that notion to the fore.
Moreover, for many people recording stories seems like a daunting task: Won’t it take too long? What questions would I ask? How would I record the conversations? What would I do with them afterwards?
For some, telling their own stories seems vain (it’s not). Still others think they have no stories to tell—or that no one would care to hear them (again, not likely; I haven’t met a person yet who didn’t have some amazing stories inside them—and everyone underestimates how their stories will be received by loved ones).
So, no, I am not surprised that 59 percent of Americans have not recorded conversations with a loved one. But I do see change on the horizon.
Rays of hope
“Maybe it’s the younger generation’s familiarity with technology...that makes this task more approachable—obvious, even.”
I see a glimmer of hope amidst these poll results, too: Younger respondents were by far the most likely to have said “yes, I have recorded a conversation of a loved one in order to preserve my memory of them.” While only about a quarter of folks aged 45-65 have recorded a loved one’s stories, 44 percent of those 18-to-29 have, and 42 percent of those 30-44. Not quite double the older participants, but almost!
Maybe it’s the younger generation’s familiarity with technology and their engrained habit of recording so many things in their daily lives, that makes this task more approachable—obvious, even.
Or perhaps it’s millennials’ well-documented love of nostalgia.
Whatever the reason, the trend is on the upswing: More younger members in American families are recording conversations with loved ones!
Resources for recording your own family stories
Are your ready to hop on the memory-keeping bandwagon and record a conversation with a loved one? Let’s work together to bring these numbers up—to make story preservation an everyday thing that, dare we day, a majority of Americans not only strive to do, but really DO!
A wonderful thing that will happen along the way if we indeed begin to record our personal histories? We’ll all have fewer regrets.
In order to help with your DIY story gathering, here are some time-tested resources that I offer to you for free—please don’t download them unless you plan to put them to use 😉
FREE E-BOOK DOWNLOADS
HELPFUL ARTICLES FOR RECORDING YOUR LOVED ONE’S STORIES
Using technology to help you share your family’s stories
There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history on a regular basis. Even if a photo book is way off in your future, take steps now to make life easier later with our recommended memory-sharing websites. With weekly emails prompting a family elder to share personal stories, and options for video, audio, and other customization, creating your personal digital archive is simpler than ever.
A recurring theme here at Modern Heirloom Books is that while we are drowning in our digital images, most people are not doing anything really worthwhile with their pictures. That’s a main reason we exist as a company—to help you curate your pictures and craft them into stories you can share through exquisitely designed books.
What of those stories, though? There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history along the way. Even if a photo book is way off in your future, take steps now to make life easier later.
“There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history along the way.”
In the last few years a host of memory sharing sites have arisen to help tech-savvy families record and share their family memories. Some have evolved over time, while new ones continue to hit the app store in an attempt to simplify the process with more elegant and engaging interfaces. Many of them are too labor-intensive or convoluted to warrant your time, however (and I doubt they’ll be around in a few more years).
One Memory-Sharing App That’s Worth Your Time—and One to Watch (IOHO)
You know those fill-in-the-blank memory books that tempt on Barnes & Noble bookshelves, or the beautiful journals that promise to leave your story for your children? (You know, the one that sits on your nightstand with just two pages filled in?) They’re a wonderful idea, if only we’d truly sit down and answer the questions. StoryWorth is like a digital version of these books, but with so many more benefits.
Options for good old-fashioned fill-in-the-blank memory journals abound—but they're useless if no one fills them in!
StoryWorth recipients receive a weekly email prompting them to answer a question based on their life experiences. The array of questions is vast and evocative, though users may always choose to answer a question they themselves craft. When a reply is input, answers are emailed to a preset list of people (so, as many family members and friends as you want to designate may receive your stories).
The value? It’s easy and fun to answer these prompts, whether a subject types a response on the website or via email, or chooses to record an audio clip over the phone. Photos and audio files can also be uploaded to the site, and stories—all saved on StoryWorth and available for printing or download at any time—are editable and secure. Remember: These aren’t biographies you’re crafting. They are nuggets from your (or your mother’s or grandfather’s) life—the time you hitchhiked across the state, the first time he flew on an airplane, that time none of the kids could find the hidden Easter eggs—colorful tales that the rest of there family will be thrilled to discover.
The site has a few packages ranging from $39 to $119 per year, and they offer a one-month free trial (you don’t even have to enter your credit card to start your trial). Check it out.
If your memories are all over the multimedia map and you want something more dynamic and mobile-friendly, I venture to guess that the imminent app I Rememba might be a good choice. I can’t say much more, though, as the app is still in development; I have signed up for access to their beta launch, so I’ll update you when I’ve eventually had time to test it. Why does it warrant my interest? Well, I am right there with the founder’s inspiration:
““Today, I’m 34 yrs old and have a 3.5 yr old daughter, of whom I have more than 25GB of pictures and videos…and due to the sheer speed with which we’re creating new memories, we don’t really care about them as much as we used to. Can you imagine, when my daughter grows up, what it would be like for her to Search and/or Share just the BEST memories of her life?? ….feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack…””
The launch site promises ways to preserve, capture, and share memories, in whatever format (video, audio, photo, text, and even family tree charts), and to “leave your legacy through time capsules.” I Rememba, like Modern Heirloom Books, is about preservation of memories and connecting generations. I’ll be watching them!
Family History vs. Family Stories
There is a place for memoirs and full-fledged biographies: the library.
Your own stories should not be told in minute detail, covering every life decision and milestone. I am not insinuating that your accomplishments and experiences are not worthwhile—truly, I am not. But for most of us, that…long…story would be rather…boring.
Perhaps it is important for you to chronicle your heritage, and I value a detailed family tree as much as any genealogist. For me, though, the personal tales that inspire a smile or reveal a person’s character are of even greater value. As the cliché goes, no one wants to sit through two hours’ worth of family vacation video, but a highlight reel is always welcome! Likewise, your descendants don’t want to feel like they are reading a 100-page history lesson, but rather as if they are being introduced to the interesting, unique people who came before them.
“No one wants to sit through two hours’ worth of family vacation video, but a highlight reel is always welcome!”
The memory-sharing apps mentioned above are great options for capturing the memories that matter. You’ll know which stories resonate when you get responses from your family members. “OMG I had no idea you were such a rebel soul!!” “I always knew you had a generous spirit, but this is above and beyond.” “LOL you are the same now as when you were 6yo!” “Now that I’m a mom I do the same thing!!”
“You’re not faced with thinking about your whole life or even what story you want to tell,” Nancy Mills told the NY Times about her experience with StoryWorth. “It’s like you’re having a conversation.”
And editing out stories that are less impactful—meaning that when you read them months later they don’t make you feel something—is easy.
I was lucky enough to inherit a book in which my mom recorded some memories the old-fashioned way—a true treasure.
Whether you actually sit down and use a good old-fashioned pen to record your memories (my mother did, and the book she left me will be forever cherished) or you subscribe to StoryWorth or another tech-aid, just do it. Get your stories down, and saved in one place.
Then, when you’re ready, let’s turn them into something even more special.
Learn about our Write Your Life course, providing memory prompts, writing guidance and a dose of inspiration to anyone who wants to preserve their stories now.