Dear Tim Ferriss: A letter of thanks & entreaty
“I’ve had many friends of mine ask me if I would have my mom or dad on my podcast. And they’ve also suggested that I record episodes with them, even if I never release them. And I think there’s something to be said for that. I haven’t yet done it.”
“One of the saddest sentences I know is ‘I wish I had asked my mother about that.’”
Dear Tim Ferriss,
I am a huge fan—of your podcast, your books, your support of pioneering research into the use of psychedelics in mental health. For your inquisitive mind and your willingness to let us listen in on provocative conversations with your ever-expanding circle of friends and mentors, I say: THANK YOU.
As someone who interviews people for a living, I am also a fan of your interviewing style, and have watched as you have honed that approach over the years (always anchored in curiosity and a genuine open-mindedness, which I respect).
I recognize in you a fellow seeker, and I am grateful to you for challenging my thought processes on a regular basis (and for never letting my to-be-read pile of books diminish!!).
It is with a healthy dose of humility and a shot-in-the-dark effort (will you ever read this, I wonder?) that I say to you:
Have you interviewed your parents yet?
If I could get a message to Tim Ferriss I would say: “Interview your parents. Do it now. Do it right fucking now.”
Why you should interview your parents—right now
On the November 19, 2020, episode of your podcast, during your interview with Dax Shepard, you mentioned that friends had encouraged you to invite your parents as guests on the podcast—or to interview them and record it, even if it never aired. At the time, you said maybe one day you would consider it.
I shouldn’t care, but I do. I want you to take that step if you haven’t already. I want you to interview your mom, your dad, and if any of your grandparents are living, them as well.
Because if you don’t, you will have major regrets one day.
And if you do, you will be giving a gift not only to yourself and any future children you may one day have (and it sounds like that’s on the horizon!!), but to your parents, as well.
Seriously, giving your parents space and time to intentionally reflect on their lives and to share their stories with you is a monumental gift; one they could never anticipate and one they would always treasure.
Why do I care if you do this? Why am I sending this entreaty out into cyberspace?
Because I hear regrets from everyday folks all the time that they didn’t learn more about their parents’ lives before it was too late.
Because I know this is something you’ve considered—and so if you never get to it, your regret will one day haunt you even more than if the idea had never crossed your mind.
And because you have given me so much over the years—truly, I consider your podcast interviews to be gifts—and I would like to return the favor and give you one important thing: peace of mind in this one aspect of your life.
I have been thinking about a way to reach you for months; the notion of writing this blog resurfaces for me as I finish walking my neighborhood with your voice in my ear buds at least once a week.
Then, yesterday, I heard Chip Wilson share his billboard-worthy message with you: “Do it now. Do it right fucking now.”
So I am doing it right now—imploring you to finally do that interview with your parents.
And I hope you will do the same: Do it now. Do it right fucking now
“What would this look like if it were easy?”
I ask you: “What would this look like if it were easy?” It would look like picking up the phone, setting a time to talk to your parents, and hitting RECORD once the conversation begins. It’s nothing more complicated than that. And yet, it’s everything in its payoff.
You know how one day you just said to yourself, “Fuck it, why haven’t we gone to see the Northern Lights?” thereby fulfilling a lifelong dream for your mom? And you went, and it was magical? Well, why haven’t you done this? I promise, it won’t bathe you in phantasmagorical lights, but it will be magical. And it will become the new thing you are most proud of with regard to your family.
Cal Fussman told you that the idea behind his “What I’ve Learned” interviews “is for me to interview [people] and, using their own words, show them in a light that you never really knew. So you think you know these people, and then you listen to their experiences and you say: Whoa, I never knew that about Robert De Niro or Mikhail Gorbachev.” You know what? There’s a lot you don’t know about your mom, about your dad. There are stories waiting to be shared that will help you know your parents in a more profound, meaningful way than you could ever have imagined.
All you have to do is ask for them.
Won’t you give yourself, your parents, and your one-day kids that gift?