Memories Matter
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Life Story Links: March 10, 2026
Dawn Roode's curated roundup of recent articles about family history, personal history interviews, life story and memoir writing, and legacy preservation.
“This is the magic, the potential, and the power of memoir. As archetypal storytellers, we are writing the human instruction manual, one hard-earned lesson at a time. We are assuring our readers, you are not alone.”
—Jennifer Selig, Deep Memoir
Vintage postcard with illustration by Rachael Robinson Elmer depicting New York from the 34th Street Ferry, 1914, published by Art–Lovers New York; original from The National Gallery of Art, courtesy Rawpixel.
Our lives in print
HONORING A LIFE
Last week I wrote about how to write a heartfelt, engaging obituary that honors a life with personal stories, creating a meaningful, memorable legacy.
PORTALS TO TRANSCENDENCE
“It will never be enough—in literature or in story—to name the attributes of a person, a moment, an era, a thing. We elevate our lists, and the odes that sometime contain them, by reaching meaning, a previously unforeseen something.” Beth Kephart on literary lists, and Suleika Jaouad on what she doesn't want to forget.
A HYMN TO LIFE
“The memoir is extraordinary—a deeply moving, oddly beautiful account of her life, her marriage, and, ultimately, the events that forced her to reconsider it all.” Gisèle Pelicot’s memoir as the ultimate act of defiance.
What we save
OBJECT LESSONS
“You convince yourself there’s some future where your child will want to return to that moment of pride and love through the act of witnessing the thing she made so long ago.” Mary Townsend on throwing our children’s art away.
SOLDIERS’ PHOTOGRAPHS
For 25 years, the Veterans History Project has preserved the voices of U.S. veterans through a variety of primary sources. Here they highlight six images that offer a glimpse of the powerful stories from their collections.
‘PRESERVING BLACK HISTORY IS NOT AN OPTION’
“A Robertson County, [Tennessee], man spent decades researching his ancestors and others once enslaved at Wessyngton Plantation, turning a seventh-grade discovery into a mission to preserve history.”
Ghosts in the machine?
FOREVERMORE TECH LAUNCH
“The platform centers on preserving everyday life details, including anecdotes, traditions, advice, and humor, rather than formal biographies. Users can gradually create a living archive that grows over time.”
ON AI BEFORE AI
“Today, ghostwriting websites must work to advertise why they could perform their writing-for-hire services better than a machine.”
...and a few more links
Christina Applegate shares the “raw, honest” truth about her life in new memoir.
Vivian Gornick ruminates on “a memoir of daily accommodation to fascism.”
When siblings disagree on what to do with grandfather’s sentimental objects
Woman sues author Amy Griffin, saying her memoir The Tell stole stories of sexual abuse
Short takes
Honoring a life, one word at a time
Learn how to write a heartfelt, engaging obituary that honors your loved one’s life with personal stories and creates a meaningful, memorable legacy.
Writing an obituary is one of the most meaningful ways to honor a loved one after they pass. It’s more than just an announcement—it’s a tribute, a story, a reflection of the life they lived. A well-written obituary captures their essence, celebrates their impact, and helps family and friends remember them as they truly were.
But how do you write an obituary that goes beyond the basic facts? How do you craft something that feels personal, heartfelt, and engaging? Here are some key steps to help you create a tribute that honors your loved one’s memory.
How to write an engaging obituary that truly honors your loved one’s life
The basics: What every obituary should have
1. Start with essential information.
Every obituary includes basic biographical details, and these serve as the foundation of your tribute. Be sure to include:
Full name (including maiden name, if applicable)
Age and date of passing
Place of birth and residence
Key family members (spouse, children, grandchildren, siblings)
Funeral or memorial service details
Example: Mary Elizabeth Carter, 78, passed away peacefully at home on March 5, 2024. Born in Chicago, Illinois, she was the daughter of Robert and Helen Carter and a beloved mother to James and Laura. She lived in Seattle for over 40 years, where she built a life full of family, community, and adventure.
2. Include meaningful anecdotes and details.
One of the best ways to make an obituary feel engaging and personal is to include small details that paint a picture of who they truly were.
Did they have a signature saying or inside joke?
Did they love a particular song, book, or tradition?
What was a moment that truly captured their essence?
Example: Instead of, “He loved gardening,” try: Tom’s garden was his sanctuary. Every spring, he planted tomatoes, roses, and herbs, coaxing them into bloom with the same patience and care he showed to everyone in his life. He believed that a little dirt under the fingernails was a sign of a life well-lived.
3. Write towards establishing a legacy.
How will your loved one be remembered? Who or what did they leave behind? Take a moment to acknowledge their impact and express gratitude.
Mention surviving family and dear friends.
Highlight their lasting influence—on people, projects, or the world.
If applicable, suggest a meaningful way to honor their memory (donations, charities, or actions).
Example: Mary’s legacy lives on in the countless students she inspired, the stories she wrote in her journals, and the garden she nurtured each spring. In her honor, the family asks that donations be made to the local library—her second home and favorite place
4. Strike the right tone.
Obituaries don’t have to be perfect, polished resumes of a person’s life. They should be honest, warm, and reflective of the real person. It’s okay to acknowledge challenges they faced—just focus on what made them remarkable despite them.
If humor was a big part of their personality, include a lighthearted touch.
If they overcame difficulties, acknowledge their strength.
If their life was simple but full of love, celebrate that.
Example: This example is from the obituary of a famed obit writer himself—someone who “saw himself as the sympathetic stranger at the wake listening to the friends and survivors of the deceased, alert for the moment when one of them would tell a memorable tale that…just happened to define a life,” Robert McG. Thomas:
“Mr. Thomas, a tall man with wavy hair who spoke in a voice soft with traces of his native Tennessee, was an extremely gregarious and social man. Last week he officiated at the annual New Year's Eve party he first started giving at the family home in Shelbyville 32 years ago. About 5 percent of the town's 12,000 people attended, and Mr. Thomas, wearing a blue silk shirt with embroidered sun and moon that he bought for the occasion, cheered his guests and the new century. As in past years, he expressed hopes that the fireworks he had ordered would not set fire to the Presbyterian church across the road.”
Beyond the Basics: Tell Their Story
An obituary, at its essence, is a miniature life story. What’s missing from so many, in my opinion, are actual stories.
What made your loved one unique? Instead of just listing milestones or speaking in generalities, bring them to life through stories that reveal their passions and personality.
What brought them joy? (Hobbies, careers, volunteer work, favorite places….)
How did they impact others? (Contributions to family, community, or their profession…)
What qualities made them unforgettable? (Sense of humor, kindness, resilience, etc.)
Don’t list answers to these questions; rather, tell stories of your loved one that shine a light on their traits. “I remember when Jared…” and “I ’m sure many of you know about the time Sarah…” and “My earliest memory of Marcelle is…”—each of these introductory prompts invites a tale, a fully formed short story that guarantees to make an obituary memorable, and to enhance the deceased legacy in a way true to their spirit.
Example: “Lyle, Ruby Ann’s husband of 55 years, swept her off her feet when he ordered a 5-cent cup of coffee and left her a 25-cent tip where she waitressed at her parents' Palace Cafe. After two weeks of courting, and fun at the roller rink, they married on December 26, 1951.”
Example: “Marshall D. Berger, a latter-day Henry Higgins who taught generations of Noo Yawkahs how not to speak the Kings County English, died on May 28 at a hospital near his home in Orangeburg, NY. He was 77 and had taught speech at City College from 1946 to 1982…. And if he could not always identify the exact Brooklyn block, say, where a student had learned to play stickball, or just which of the Five Towns of Long Island he had moved to as a teenager, he came close enough often enough to awe his students….
A man who made it a point to read his morning newspaper cover to cover, Mr. Berger seemed determined to know everything about everything. If that is impossible, he made such a run at it that his daughters and their husbands, all Ph.D.s, developed a family game called ‘Stump Marshall,’ in a usually vain effort to ask him a question he could not answer.”
An intriguing idea: Write your own obituary
“The most common error I see in obituaries is to underestimate the importance of childhood and teenage years, and the struggles to find a career, a mate, a vocation, or a purpose in life,” James R. Hagerty writes in Yours Truly: An Obituary Write’s Guide to Telling Your Story, a book I highly recommend. “The experiences that shaped you are often what other people least understand and would be most interested to know.”
And it’s exactly those types of stories that our loved ones often don’t know enough about to do justice to our stories at the time of our death. So why not give writing your own obituary a go?
Whether or not your family eventually uses what you write as your actual obituary won’t matter, in the end. What matters is that you leave them something of your deepest self for them to hold onto when you are gone.
In his beautiful book For You When I Am Gone, Steve Leder offers up 12 essential questions for telling a meaningful life story—and each one of them would be useful when contemplating your own obituary. “What memories do you wish for your loved ones to carry?” he asks. “What images will dance in their hearts like a bride twirling in the perfumed air, happy and alive?”
Writing an obituary is a labor of love. Take your time. Write from the heart. And know that in putting their story into words, you’re ensuring that their memory lives on.
Recommended reading:
Eccentric Lives: The Daily Telegraph Book of 21st Century Obituaries by Andrew M. Brown (Unicorn Publishing Group, 2022)
For You When I Am Gone by Steve Leder (Avery, 2022)
Yours Truly: An Obituary Writer’s Guide to Telling Your Story by James R. Hagerty (Citadel Press, 2023)
Overlooked is a series of obituaries about remarkable people whose deaths, beginning in 1851, initially went unreported in The New York Times. Peruse the archive here, or read more in the collected obituaries in the book, Overlooked: A Celebration of Remarkable, Underappreciated People Who Broke the Rules and Changed the World by Amisha Padnani and the New York Times (Ten Speed Press, 2023)
52 McGs.: The Best Obituaries from Legendary New York Times Reporter Robert McG. Thomas by Robert McG. Thomas (Scribner, 2008)
Related, on the blog:
A year’s worth of journal writing prompts
Stay inspired with 52 weekly writing prompts for journaling and family history. Capture memories, dreams, and stories big and small. Bonus: Downloadable guide!
Never face down a blank page again—download our free guide with a life writing prompt for every week of the year, then tuck it in your journal or pin it near your computer for inspiration at your fingertips!
Keeping a journaling or family history practice alive through the entire year can feel daunting—until you realize you don’t have to come up with ideas on the spot. Having a set of weekly prompts at your fingertips gives you structure and inspiration, while still leaving room for your stories to flow in their own unique direction.
To make it easy, I’ve gathered 52 prompts—one for every week of the year—that weave together themes of reflection, memory, family history, traditions, and everyday moments. Each month offers four prompts tied to the seasons and natural rhythms of life.
Whether you use these life writing prompts to spark daily journaling, guide family conversations, or record stories for future generations, these questions will help you capture the richness of your life and legacy.
TIP: Our free download includes one page of writing prompts per month, so you can print them out and paste into your daily planner or tuck into your journal for easy reference! Get yours here.
Click below to jump to any month’s writing prompts:
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
January – New Beginnings
week 1 Reflection:
What were your greatest accomplishments, biggest challenges, surprises, joys, and losses last year? Keep things simple with a list if that’s all you can handle as the new year begins, or dive deep and probe for meaning!
week 2 Setting intentions:
How do you want to shape the coming year? What do you hope will happen? What habits, relationships, or parts of yourself would you like to nurture? Dream big or be practical—whatever approach suits you right now!
week 3 Memory:
What childhood home do you remember best? Describe its sights, smells, sounds, people. Can you draw a map of its layout? Why do you think you remember what you do (or don’t)?
week 4 Life list—fun:
What was your favorite toy, game, or pastime as a child?
February — Love & Connection
week 1 Love Letter:
Write a letter to someone who influenced your life deeply (friend, partner, ancestor). What have they taught you?
week 2 Lasting bonds:
Think about a meaningful friendship. What made it special? What lessons or memories does it carry?
week 3 Memory:
What meals remind you most of your childhood? Describe the smells, flavors, and people around you. Could you cook up these dishes if you tried?
week 4 Life list—food:
Was there a dish you hated as a kid but now love (or vice versa)? What changed?
March — Women’s History Month
week 1 Female influences:
In honor of Women’s History Month, write about a woman who shaped your life. What qualities of hers live in you? Does (or did) she know her impact on you?
week 2 Unsung stories:
What story of a mother, grandmother, or other woman in your family deserves to be remembered? It needn’t be a drama-filled story—it just might be a small moment that held major impact.
week 3 Identity:
Tell about a time when someone asked you, “Who are you?” How did you respond? How has your answer changed?
week 4 Silenced stories:
Do you have any stories you once hesitated to tell but now feel are important? Why did you hold back? Remember—no one needs to see what you write in the privacy of your journal, even now.
April – Renewal & Growth
week 1 Spring awakening:
Describe a time you started over, intentionally or by chance. What changed inside you?
week 2 Nature as metaphor:
Choose a flower, tree, or garden from your past. What did it symbolize in that season of life?
week 3 Lost recipe:
Recall a family recipe that has been lost or half-forgotten. What do you remember and what do you wish you knew?
week 4 A letter you never sent:
Write the letter—to someone living or gone—that you wish you’d sent.
week 5 Turning point:
What was the moment when you felt you were no longer a child?
May – Heritage & Traditions
week 1 Family gatherings:
Describe a family celebration or tradition that left a strong impression.
week 2 Keepsakes:
Write about an object you’ve inherited (jewelry, recipe, letter). What story does it carry? If nothing comes to mind, consider writing about an object that holds meaning to you now that you hope a child or other family member will one day cherish.
week 3 Memory:
Who in your family was the storyteller? Capture a tale you remember hearing from them.
week 4 Life list—values:
What values do you see passed through your family (kindness, humor, hard work)? Where did they come from?
June – Journeys
week 1 Travel:
Recall a trip (near or far) that shaped you. What moments do you still see vividly?
week 2 Going forth:
Write about a time when you “set out”—to college, a job, a new city, an adventure.
week 3 First job:
What was your first job, or a formative work experience? How did it shape you?
week 4 Failure and growth:
Write about a time you failed at something important. What did you learn from it? How did you handle it?
week 5 Mid-year check-in:
Look back on the first half of the year. What have you done, and what are you proud of? What do you still want to finish?
July – Independence
week 1 Independence:
Write about the first time you made a big decision on your own.
week 2 Reflection:
What does freedom mean to you personally? Reflect on a moment when you felt free.
week 3 Memory:
When was the last time you felt awe? What brought it on?
week 4 Life list—home:
What place(s) feel most like home to you? What makes it feel that way?
August – Everyday Moments
week 1 Summer snapshot:
Capture a vivid childhood summer memory—sights, smells, sounds.
week 2 Daily life:
Write about an ordinary routine that reveals something bigger about who you are.
week 3 Life list—soundtrack:
What song takes you back instantly to a time in your life? What story is tied to it?
week 4 Memory:
Tell a story from your teen years—a friendship, conflict, turning point, or just a funny, sad, beautiful, or poignant memory.
September – Growth
week 1 Back to school:
Recall a memorable teacher, mentor, or lesson.
week 2 Lifelong learning:
What skill or habit did you learn later in life that changed you?
week 3 History made personal:
What historical event shaped your family (war, migration, economic change)? How?
week 4 Life list—school supplies:
Do you remember back-to-school shopping when you were a kid? What items did you love…or wish for?
week 5 Memory:
Describe a small, ordinary moment that brought you unexpected joy. What made it stand out?
October – Family History Month
week 1 Roots:
In honor of Family History Month, write about the earliest ancestor you know by name.
week 2 Family lore:
Capture a funny or legendary family tale. What truths lie beneath it? Has the telling of the tale changed over time?
week 3 Life list—ancestors:
If you could ask a grandparent three questions, what would they be? Write what you know and what you wish you knew.
week 4 Heirlooms:
Pick a family heirloom. What is its story and how did it come to you?
week 5 Memory:
Write about one of the following (and save the others for another day!): your earliest memory, your most elusive memory, your favorite memory.
November – Gratitude
week 1 Life list—gratitude:
Write about five things you’re grateful for this year. Choose one and go deeper.
week 2 Reflection:
Reflect on a hardship that later became something you were thankful for.
week 3 Memory:
What kindnesses have you witnessed or experienced this year? Elaborate on one that moved you (or that you hope moved someone else), or take the prompt in an entirely different direction that resonates for you right now.
week 4 Absence:
Think of someone you miss. Write about what you learned from them and what you carry forward, what you would tell them if they were here, or how you honor their memory.
December – Holidays & Reflection
week 1 Traditions:
Describe your favorite holiday ritual and why it matters.
week 2 Reflection:
As the year winds down, reflect on how you’ve changed since January. What do you want to carry forward?
week 3 Surprises:
What was the biggest surprise of the year? How did it make you feel? Change you?
week 4 Dream on:
Write about one wish or dream you have for the coming year, small or large. What will you do to make it come true?
Stories live best when they’re shared. My hope is that these prompts not only inspire your own journaling, but also spark conversations with the people you love. Imagine what your children or grandchildren might discover if even a few of these questions were answered and preserved.
If you’d like to keep this list handy, I’ve created a printable version with all 52 prompts—perfect for tucking into your journal!
P.S. This list is formatted for the year 2026, with five prompts for the months of April, June, September, and October—but it can be used any year (52 weeks is 52 prompts, no matter when the weeks fall 😉).
Free Printable Guide!
Download all 52 life writing prompts in a beautifully designed guide that you can tuck into your journal or pin up near your computer—inspiration always at your fingertips!
Want even more prompts—and writing guidance along the way?
Our email subscription, Write Your Life, offers 52 weeks of life writing prompts geared specifically for building towards a memoir or personal history. How are they different?, you must be wondering! Well:
With Write Your Life, each week you’ll receive a thoughtful prompt with follow-up questions, examples of directions you might take, guidance for accessing memories and developing them into stories, and inspirational quotes and resources—PLUS subscribers get a companion e-book overflowing with even more pro tips.
While this free journaling guide is tied to the seasons, the Write Your Life subscription is intentionally crafted to start with easy-to-access memories that lead to deeper life reflection as you go. It’s designed to lead you towards a finished memoir, and prompts from one week build upon others you have written about previously.
The Write Your Life prompts are delivered to your email inbox each week to help keep you accountable and spur you to write—really write!! (If you’ve got a loved one who’s been thinking about writing about their life, this makes a wonderfully original and thoughtful gift, too 😉).
Life Story Links: December 16, 2025
Our final curated roundup before the new year includes lots about memoir (reading and writing!) as well as inspirational pieces on legacy and family history.
“After a while in the process, you have some distance and you start thinking of it as a story, not as your story…. [It’s] something that has not just happened to me and my family, but something that’s happened in the world.”
—Edwidge Danticat
Vintage postcard with illustration of Rainier National Park, Mt. Rainier and Paradise Valley, Washington, circa 1930–1945, courtesy Boston Public Library Arts Department, The Tichnor Brothers Collection (postcard originally from Tichnor Bros., Inc., Boston, Mass.).
Moments in memoir
FEEL YOUR WAY
“Your nonfiction or memoir book idea is already forming inside you; you do not need to hunt it down, you only need to listen long enough for it to reveal itself. The moment you feel both a little scared and a little relieved, that is the beginning of an idea that wants to become a book.”
PEOPLE ON THE PAGE
“By writing a memoir that serves as a magnifying glass to my own demons, I am also turning attention toward my mother.”
STORIES FROM LIFE
“I wrote from the heart, with as much honesty as I could. The problem is, you can only tell the truth you know.” Marion Witik on reissuing a memoir she originally considering releasing as fiction.
JUST-BARELY-OUT-OF-REACH
“This is no celebrity memoir. This is a woman extending a long hand and returning with news of her wanderings.” Beth Kephart on Patti Smith’s latest book, and on what the writer craves.
The power of personal storytelling
FINDING SOLACE THROUGH REMEMBRANCE
Because grief never goes fully, away—and is often stirred during the holiday season—I resurface this personal post from my blog every December.
THE COST OF UNSPOKEN STORIES
“Research has long documented that people tend to become more forgiving when they understand the origins of another’s pain. Storytelling allows each to see the other...”
MOSAIC WRITING
“When I tried to write my book the way I thought I was supposed to, in order, in clean arcs, in sustained sessions, I’d shut down. The story felt too big, too close, too alive. I could not stay present long enough to shape it. So I started writing in pieces...”
Miscellaneous
DELVING INTO YOUR LINEAGE
Watching shows like Who Do You Think You Are? can inspire a thirst for knowing about your own family history. Here, one of the show’s genealogists shares her top tips for researching your own genealogy.
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE HUMAN
“As strange and troubling as it may be to put aside our own moral precepts when looking at the past, this is the work of the historian, Bourke said: ‘to unpick the universal experience.’”
...and a few more links
See which memoir and which biography made the NYT list of the 10 best books of 2025.
NJ-based Our Living Story enters the personal history space with video packages.
Actor Eric Dane’s memoir, including his life with ALS, to be published in April.
Read an excerpt from a new biography of playwright Sam Shepard.
Short takes
Missing a loved one this holiday season?
Dawn Roode offers up four suggestions for further reading (and listening) for anyone who, like her, is missing a friend or family member during the holidays.
As families celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas in the coming days, we can get caught up in the hustle and bustle, in expectations of mirth and traditions honored… For many of us, though, grief has a way of underpinning everything during this season, even amidst the joy and carols.
Those who have followed my journey for a while or who know me personally understand that loss is a theme I revisit often. I do so because the loss of three loved ones—my mother, in particular—has changed me as a person. The absence of my mom permeates my life. And while there is sadness, and there is a sense of longing—especially during the holidays—I have also gained much; I have become a new me in the wake of her loss. And I feel compelled to help others remember their own lost loved ones, to use story and memory as ways to honor those they have lost, to help them heal—even if it’s a (very) little bit at a time…
But sometimes there is nothing that will make those stabbing moments of grief go away. And maybe we’re meant to feel them. I find some consolation in connecting with others who may feel similarly; of reading others’ experiences with loss and holiday grief. And so I thought this week I would share with you a few things that have resonated with me, and a few I have written myself; I hope one or more of these will help you feel seen anew, will connect you with positive memories of the loved one you are grieving (whether they died yesterday or three decades ago), and will help you find moments of solace and light when grief seems like a shadow darkening all else.
4 ideas for finding solace on your holiday grief journey
personal reflections
I wrote this piece in 2017. I was missing my mom fiercely as Mother’s Day approached. Something compelled me to share some especially personal words on Facebook (and I am not one who is typically vulnerable—or even active, really—on Facebook). That act connected me in a most beautiful and unexpected way with a community of others who felt similar grief—and the bonus these days is that it comes up in my feed periodically as a memory. Rereading my words from that day makes me feel closer to my mom, and gives me hope when I need it. May it do the same for you:
“Wish You Were Here, Mom”
“Because a number of people expressed gratitude for my words—for recognizing my prolonged grief as their own, for glimpsing something universal in my very individual experience—I decided to share the post in this broader setting…”
being there for others who are grieving
What if someone else in your circle is experiencing grief? In a world where rituals around dying are disappearing, where talking to someone about loss feels almost taboo, I find it can be helpful to have some concrete ideas on how to be there for another who is grieving. Take a look at this story for those ideas—and know that some of them may help you, too:
A Balm for Holiday Grief
A few ideas for sharing memories of someone who has died…
LISTENING IN, living on
As an avid podcast listener, I was thrilled to stumble upon the first episode of Anderson Cooper’s podcast “All There Is” back in September 2022. He started recording while going through his late mother’s journals and keepsakes, as well as things left behind by his father and brother, narrating his experiences—and emotions—as he went. The result is a vulnerable, human, necessary meditation on grief (including a series of compelling interviews) that had me feeling seen—and wanting to hug Cooper and others walking through grief. I highly recommend giving it a listen (as for me, I will be revisiting episode two, where Stephen Colbert joins Cooper for a profound conversation).
As of December 2025, Cooper continues to explore the theme of grief in this podcast, and his generosity of spirit with his community of listeners—he says he has listened to thousands of audio messages and read tens of thousands of DMs, and that he is moved by every single one—is powerfully moving. “Listening to your messages, hearing your voices, learning the names of your lost loved ones,” he says, “has been incredibly profound. It’s made me feel less alone in my grief, and I hope these messages you’re about to hear help you feel less alone, as well.” I recommend this episode where he reads from some of those messages.
“All There Is”
I have recommended this podcast to many people this year. Anderson Cooper shares “a series of emotional and moving conversations about the people we lose, the things they leave behind, and how to live on—with loss, with laughter, and with love.”
FINDING COMMUNITY
In the wake of my mother’s death in 2009, I desperately sought community and a safe space for sharing my grief. It wasn’t easy. I eventually found a grief support group in my neighborhood in Park Slope, Brooklyn; it met at the nearby hospital and was a balm to my soul and frazzled nerves—that is, for the two sessions we met. Because it was run by a volunteer and there was no funding or outside support, it disbanded as quickly as I had discovered it. But many of us (a wildly diverse group—all ages, religions, and colors with unique experiences of recent death) had exchanged numbers. So I proposed we meet without a moderator at a local public place…and every single person showed up. That community was necessary for us then. If I hadn’t moved to another state, I would probably still be organizing our make-shift grief support get-togethers.
This year I discovered grief specialist Barri Leiner Grant via Instagram and extend an invitation to you to follow her, too, especially if you, like I was in 2009, are craving community around your loss. She offers memory circles, grief resources, a write-to-heal support group, and beautiful doses of inspiration through her work.
The Memory Circle
Barri Leiner Grant says that grief tending—“time dedicated to your release and relief”—is the foundational grounding of her philosophy. See if the tools she provides can help you maintain a meaningful connection with your lost loved one.
This blog post, originally written in December 2022, has been updated with new content on December 8, 2025.
Life Story Links: December 2, 2025
This week’s curated roundup is on the short but mighty! Find recent stories about our bodies holding our stories, the Memory of the World Register, and more.
“Anyone who has survived childhood has enough to write for their entire life.”
—Flannery O’Conner
Vintage family photo
Where memories reside
AN AVALANCHE OF BOOMER STUFF
“The delicate dance around family dynamics of inheritance and gift-giving among generations is an awkward one for a multitude of reasons, perhaps most importantly, that nobody really wants to think about their ultimate demise or that of their loved ones.”
OUR BODIES HOLD OUR STORIES
“Somatic Semiotics™ is the name I am giving to this truth. It is the study of how the body communicates in signs and signals long before we consciously craft a narrative, a drop in the stomach, a clenched jaw, a wave of heat when you try to speak a truth you were taught to swallow. These are not accidents, they are the body’s early drafts.”
LIMITED EDITION
“Through candid yet unsentimental photography, [Nadia Lee Cohen] captures the rhythms of rural heartland life, weaving together fragmented childhood memories with the present-day reality of four generations living side by side.”
Personal history miscellany
A DOSE OF INSPIRATION
Last week I shared four quotes from my commonplace book—I hope they remind you why family history and stories of our ancestors matter (and why now is always the best time to delve in).
INTERGENERATIONAL STORY SHARING!
“Interviewing loved ones brings you closer and offers a window into the past.” There’s nothing new here if you’re a personal historian, but (a) it’s always great to see articles such as this promoting story keeping, and (b) I always, always find the comments section of these types of articles so enlightening!
FROM KITCHEN TO STAGE
“We, as descendants of Africa who were taken, can only [trace our roots] back so far. I think I’ve always longed for that bigger and deeper and more ancient connection.” An ‘immersive adaptation’ about African American cuisine.
NOW STREAMING
A new documentary, A Road Trip to Remember, charts a journey across Australia as actor Chris Hemsworth and his father confront the realities of Alzheimer's and the ways in which memory loss alters everyday life.
PART OF THE UNESCO MEMORY OF THE WORLD REGISTER
A new exhibition, The Recordings: Voices from the ShoahTapes, is now on view at the New York Historical until March 29, 2026. The audio recordings—which were not originally created for publication—document the many conversations that Claude Lanzmann and his assistants had in the 1970s and early 1980s during several years of research on the film Shoah (1985). The recordings are part of the Jewish Museum Berlin collection and will be fully accessible online by 2027.
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4 inspiring quotes about delving into your family history
I hope these quotes from my commonplace book remind you why family history and stories of our ancestors matter—and why now is always the best time to delve in.
Exploring family history is about more than tracing your lineage or collecting names and dates—it’s about understanding where we come from, and even deepening relationships. I hope these four quotes from my own commonplace book remind you why family history matters—and why now is always the best time to delve in.
“It is hard for a child to imagine that her parents were ever children themselves, and that their life events also shaped them into the adults they became. This discovery was the doorway to my greater benevolence and love for my parents as human beings.” —Carole E. Anderson
Most of us grow up seeing our parents and grandparents only in relation to ourselves—as caretakers, providers, disciplinarians, or protectors. But they were once young, full of dreams, fears, and experiences that shaped them long before we came into the picture.
Understanding their stories helps us see them as full, complex individuals, not just as Mom or Grandpa. When we learn about our parents’ childhoods, their struggles, and their triumphs, we may come to understand their choices in ways we never did before. This can transform our relationships—sometimes even bringing healing and reconciliation.
“Curiosity is a muscle. Questions are exercise.” —M. Diane McCormick
Family stories are waiting to be told, but they don’t always emerge on their own. The key to unlocking them is simple: Ask.
The more we engage our parents, grandparents, and older relatives in meaningful conversations, the more doors open to family stories we never knew existed (ou never know what incredible stories one thoughtful question might unlock!).
“A family history is not complete until it considers the time and place in which each individual lived. Our ancestors were affected by the events around them, just as people are now; their relationship to their environment is an important part of the family’s story.” —Carmen J. Finley
No one’s life unfolds in a vacuum. The challenges, opportunities, and decisions our ancestors faced were deeply influenced by historical events, social norms, and cultural expectations—just as our own lives are today.
By placing our family history in historical context, we gain a richer, more nuanced understanding of why people made certain choices, moved to certain places, or held specific beliefs.
When we explore family history alongside world history, we don’t just learn about our relatives—we learn about the broader forces that shaped their lives, and in turn, our own.
“Your grandparents’ stories and the memories of your elders…[are] a scaffolding for you to build your identity on—and they will not always be accessible to you.” —Emma Fulenwider
One of the most heartbreaking realities of family history is that it has an expiration date.
The elders in our lives hold stories, traditions, and memories that will one day be lost if we don’t take the time to capture them. There is a limited window to ask, to listen, and to preserve.
Start now. Even if you don’t have a specific project in mind, record conversations, take notes, and gather family photos.
Don’t assume stories will always be there. Time passes quickly, and waiting too long can mean losing precious details forever.
Turn detective work into connection. If you’ve ever wished you could ask a grandparent about their past, don’t wait until it’s too late—start the conversation today.
The stories you don’t collect now will become unanswered questions later. Don’t let the history of your family slip away—preserve it while you can.
Your family’s history is waiting to be told, and you have the power to preserve it for generations to come.
You might also like: 5 inspiring quotes about writing your life (coming next month!)
Life Story Links: November 18, 2025
This week’s curated roundup has great recent reads of interest to family historians, memoirists, and memory-keepers, plus a bunch of social media shorts.
“To be captured by a moment or to capture it. Decades later I’ll understand how they both exist, one inside the other intrinsic as breath—the inhale and the exhale.”
—Jamie Figueroa
A whole lot of memoir miscellany!
BACKSTORY
“Memories were bubbling up from all over the place—junior high, summer swim team, when I was first teaching creative writing in Utah—and I became obsessed with these moments. I wanted to sit with them and turn them in every direction like a kaleidoscope.” Melissa Fraterrigo on her new memoir-in-essays.
A RESPONSIBILITY FOR FAMILY STORIES
“After listening and transcribing and listening again, I felt different holes in our family’s history. I began searching for more stories,” memoirist Elena Sheppard writes about feeling closer to her grandfather through archival research.
‘INTIMATE AND INTRIGUING’
“In the last 15 years, [Patti] Smith has produced a tidy collection of small books that braid ruminations on her current endeavors with memories and photographs”—and now, her “most straightforwardly autobiographical book to date.”
FRIENDLY GHOSTS
“The ghostwriter is not just your thought partner and editorial support system. They are your consigliere, your part-time therapist.” A peek behind the curtains of the ghostwriting ecosystem.
NOT ANOTHER CANCER MEMOIR
“I call both of my books reported memoirs. What I really love to do is use my experiences as a jumping off point to talk about larger issues, to learn, and to interview people.”
ON MATERNAL LOSS
“To write Living Proof, I sat with my memories for thousands of hours. After decades, I made sense to myself in a way I hadn’t before. The wholeness I sought came when I was willing to examine my own story.”
SAFETY BEFORE DISCIPLINE
“Let your writing be tidal, trust the swell, trust the retreat. Your creativity is not a straight line; it is a rhythm, and rhythms belong to bodies that have lived through hard things.” Megan Febuary speaks to the highly sensitive writer.
INVENTING A LIFE
“Part memoir, travelogue, history of rock n’ roll, and insider look at the media business, Unplugged is a rollicking, often hilarious romp through [Tom] Freston’s 25-year career as a creative force in the music industry and modern media.”
VIRGINIA’S MOMENTS OF BEING
“The postcard is the self because it is instinctual and once gone, unobservable. As soon as it has been sent, it is history. The postcard is also a seeking, vulnerable self, extended toward someone else. It is the one-sided thought that asks to be acknowledged.” A wonderfully insightful look at Virginia Woolf’s postcards.
PRESERVING TESTIMONY THROUGH ART
Portrait artist Anita Lester says a recent project—featuring 16 oil paintings of Holocaust survivors—deepened her connection to her own family history. “I got to know my grandfather and members of my family through meeting these people and painting these people and understanding their experience.”
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