Learn basic writing rules, then break some of them

“By all means go ahead and read the rules, if you wish. Give them a try. And if one of them works for you, use it until it stops working, then dump it in the trash heap with all the other useless rules that have been crammed down your throat since your first hour in daycare. Writing is creative, so don’t look to prescriptions or those who preach them.”
—Randall Silvis

Writers of memoir and life stories often come across the classic guide The Elements of Style by Strunk and White. It’s a goldmine of fundamental writing rules—rules designed to create clarity, precision, and grace in prose.

But what happens when sticking to these rules too rigidly flattens the rhythm of a story, strips a voice of its natural cadence, or removes the warmth of real-life speech? In memoir and personal storytelling, bending (or even breaking) certain rules can actually enhance a piece—making it sound more authentic, more engaging, and more like you.

Let’s explore a few of these fundamental writing rules, why they exist, and when it’s absolutely okay to break them.

RULE NO. 1: Omit needless words.

One of the most famous rules in The Elements of Style is: “Omit needless words.” It’s great advice—cutting excess verbiage makes writing cleaner and more direct.

Why break the rule:

• Memoir isn’t just about clarity; it’s about voice. Sometimes, extra words are exactly what we need to hear a person speak on the page.

• Regional dialects, idioms, and filler words help capture a person's authentic tone.

• Thoughtful repetition can build rhythm and emotion.

• A longer, more winding sentence may better reflect how a memory unfolds in real life.

💡 Consider this:

Tightly edited: My grandmother always told me to be strong.


Voice-driven: “Now, honey, you listen to me. You be strong, you hear me? Strong like your mama. Strong like your grandmama.”

That second version? It sounds like a real person speaking. And in memoir, voice matters just as much as conciseness.

RULE NO. 2: Every Sentence Must Have a Subject and a Verb.

Yes, every grammatically correct sentence needs a subject and a verb. But real people don’t always speak or think in perfect, complete sentences.

Why break the rule:

• Sentence fragments can be intentional choices that add rhythm, pacing, or emphasis to a passage.

• A clipped response in dialogue can feel more natural than a full sentence.

• A fragment after a long sentence can create a moment of pause.

• Breaking this rule can add emotion—urgency, suspense, or even humor.

💡 Consider this:

Perfectly grammatical: I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there. I was frozen in place, unable to move.

More natural, more immediate: I didn’t know what to do. Just stood there. Frozen.

That second version feels like someone recalling a memory in real time. Sometimes, fragments work better than full sentences.

RULE NO. 3: Don’t Begin a Sentence with "And" or "But."

Traditional grammar purists argue that sentences shouldn’t start with conjunctions. But (see what I did there?) this rule has loosened over time.

Why break the rule:

• Using “and” or “but” at the beginning of a sentence mimics natural speech.

• It can create emphasis and flow—helping one idea build on another.

• It can make the narrator’s voice feel more conversational and intimate.

💡 Consider this:

Strict adherence to the rule: The house was silent. However, I could feel something watching me.

More fluid, more dramatic: The house was silent. But I could feel something watching me.

That small tweak changes the tone of the sentence—making it sharper, more immediate. In memoir, rhythm and voice matter just as much as grammar.

THE KEY TAKEAWAY: Clarity first, then voice.

Writing rules exist for a reason—they make writing stronger, clearer, and more readable. But memoir isn’t a grammar test. It’s about storytelling.

So, learn the rules. Understand why they work. Then break (some of) them with intention.

📖 Want to explore more ways to shape your life story into an engaging narrative? Check out How to Use Short Vignettes to Create a Mosaic of Your Life for more inspiration.