Memories Matter
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Why tell our stories? Wisdom from RootsTech 2016 & beyond
There are likely a million reasons to share personal stories. We've collected 10 nuggets of priceless wisdom from #RootsTech 2016, from inspiring love and empathy to helping us raise resilient children. Stories are gifts—are you sharing yours?
Sharing stories of your own childhood—including times your overcame hardships—helps your kids be more resilient (not to mention get to know you better!).
Stories help us connect with our loved ones, and glean insights into ourselves and our history. Stories have myriad benefits beyond that, too:
Studies show that kids with a knowledge of family history have higher self-esteem, lower levels of anxiety, and fewer behavioral problems. Children of parents who regularly reminisce about their own childhoods have been shown to be more empathetic to others. And teens who have been exposed to family stories are more confident, with better coping skills.
Fundamentally, stories help us remember. And photographs often provide that spark that helps transport us back in time—like the smell of your grandmother's banana bread or Hanukkah latkes. When combined, your pictures and stories have tremendous power!
Last week, tens of thousands of people gathered in Salt Lake City, UT for RootsTech 2016, where the theme was #STORYTELLING. Kudos! Some nuggets of wisdom on the topic from those who were there, and those who wished they were:
1. "Stories unite us; they help us recognize ourselves in others."
2. Family stories are gifts to our children.
Not only do the stories we tell our kids help them relate and feel like an essential part of the family, they strengthen them and make them undeniably more resilient. As keynote speaker and author Bruce Feiler wrote in a viral NYT piece from 2013:
"When faced with a challenge, happy families, like happy people, just add a new chapter to their life story that shows them overcoming the hardship. This skill is particularly important for children, whose identity tends to get locked in during adolescence.
The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine and retell the story of your family’s positive moments and your ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come."
3. Stories help us preserve our history for future generations.
"What will our grandkids and great-grandkids know of us?” wondered Jens Nielsen, president at Pictureline, in his talk at RootsTech 2016.
We love all the reasons that are designated in the above article shared by Family Search, but two of our favorites:
• You and your family are important to somebody, probably many somebodies.
• Family trees are abstract. Stories add depth.
4. Stories keep alive in spirit those who have since departed. #legacy
5. Stories uplift us.
6. Stories make us feel love.
7. Stories tap into the wisdom of humanity, impart lessons painlessly, promote empathy.
8. Stories are free entertainment.
“Best of all, unlike stories from books, family stories are always free and completely portable. You don’t even need to have the lights on to share with your child a story about your day, about their day, about your childhood or their grandma’s. In the research on family storytelling, all of these kinds of stories are linked to benefits for your child. Family stories can continue to be part of a parent’s daily interactions with their children into adolescence, long past the age of the bedtime story.” —The Atlantic
9. Stories are part of our everyday lives. #dinnerconversation
9. Stories are meant to be shared.
10. And last but not least: You gotta eat.
So tell your stories. Be generous with them. As we tell our young kids: “It’s good to share.”
Using technology to help you share your family’s stories
There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history on a regular basis. Even if a photo book is way off in your future, take steps now to make life easier later with our recommended memory-sharing websites. With weekly emails prompting a family elder to share personal stories, and options for video, audio, and other customization, creating your personal digital archive is simpler than ever.
A recurring theme here at Modern Heirloom Books is that while we are drowning in our digital images, most people are not doing anything really worthwhile with their pictures. That’s a main reason we exist as a company—to help you curate your pictures and craft them into stories you can share through exquisitely designed books.
What of those stories, though? There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history along the way. Even if a photo book is way off in your future, take steps now to make life easier later.
“There is plenty you can do to ensure that you are—easily!—capturing bits and pieces of your family history along the way.”
In the last few years a host of memory sharing sites have arisen to help tech-savvy families record and share their family memories. Some have evolved over time, while new ones continue to hit the app store in an attempt to simplify the process with more elegant and engaging interfaces. Many of them are too labor-intensive or convoluted to warrant your time, however (and I doubt they’ll be around in a few more years).
One Memory-Sharing App That’s Worth Your Time—and One to Watch (IOHO)
You know those fill-in-the-blank memory books that tempt on Barnes & Noble bookshelves, or the beautiful journals that promise to leave your story for your children? (You know, the one that sits on your nightstand with just two pages filled in?) They’re a wonderful idea, if only we’d truly sit down and answer the questions. StoryWorth is like a digital version of these books, but with so many more benefits.
Options for good old-fashioned fill-in-the-blank memory journals abound—but they're useless if no one fills them in!
StoryWorth recipients receive a weekly email prompting them to answer a question based on their life experiences. The array of questions is vast and evocative, though users may always choose to answer a question they themselves craft. When a reply is input, answers are emailed to a preset list of people (so, as many family members and friends as you want to designate may receive your stories).
The value? It’s easy and fun to answer these prompts, whether a subject types a response on the website or via email, or chooses to record an audio clip over the phone. Photos and audio files can also be uploaded to the site, and stories—all saved on StoryWorth and available for printing or download at any time—are editable and secure. Remember: These aren’t biographies you’re crafting. They are nuggets from your (or your mother’s or grandfather’s) life—the time you hitchhiked across the state, the first time he flew on an airplane, that time none of the kids could find the hidden Easter eggs—colorful tales that the rest of there family will be thrilled to discover.
The site has a few packages ranging from $39 to $119 per year, and they offer a one-month free trial (you don’t even have to enter your credit card to start your trial). Check it out.
If your memories are all over the multimedia map and you want something more dynamic and mobile-friendly, I venture to guess that the imminent app I Rememba might be a good choice. I can’t say much more, though, as the app is still in development; I have signed up for access to their beta launch, so I’ll update you when I’ve eventually had time to test it. Why does it warrant my interest? Well, I am right there with the founder’s inspiration:
““Today, I’m 34 yrs old and have a 3.5 yr old daughter, of whom I have more than 25GB of pictures and videos…and due to the sheer speed with which we’re creating new memories, we don’t really care about them as much as we used to. Can you imagine, when my daughter grows up, what it would be like for her to Search and/or Share just the BEST memories of her life?? ….feels like trying to find a needle in a haystack…””
The launch site promises ways to preserve, capture, and share memories, in whatever format (video, audio, photo, text, and even family tree charts), and to “leave your legacy through time capsules.” I Rememba, like Modern Heirloom Books, is about preservation of memories and connecting generations. I’ll be watching them!
Family History vs. Family Stories
There is a place for memoirs and full-fledged biographies: the library.
Your own stories should not be told in minute detail, covering every life decision and milestone. I am not insinuating that your accomplishments and experiences are not worthwhile—truly, I am not. But for most of us, that…long…story would be rather…boring.
Perhaps it is important for you to chronicle your heritage, and I value a detailed family tree as much as any genealogist. For me, though, the personal tales that inspire a smile or reveal a person’s character are of even greater value. As the cliché goes, no one wants to sit through two hours’ worth of family vacation video, but a highlight reel is always welcome! Likewise, your descendants don’t want to feel like they are reading a 100-page history lesson, but rather as if they are being introduced to the interesting, unique people who came before them.
“No one wants to sit through two hours’ worth of family vacation video, but a highlight reel is always welcome!”
The memory-sharing apps mentioned above are great options for capturing the memories that matter. You’ll know which stories resonate when you get responses from your family members. “OMG I had no idea you were such a rebel soul!!” “I always knew you had a generous spirit, but this is above and beyond.” “LOL you are the same now as when you were 6yo!” “Now that I’m a mom I do the same thing!!”
“You’re not faced with thinking about your whole life or even what story you want to tell,” Nancy Mills told the NY Times about her experience with StoryWorth. “It’s like you’re having a conversation.”
And editing out stories that are less impactful—meaning that when you read them months later they don’t make you feel something—is easy.
I was lucky enough to inherit a book in which my mom recorded some memories the old-fashioned way—a true treasure.
Whether you actually sit down and use a good old-fashioned pen to record your memories (my mother did, and the book she left me will be forever cherished) or you subscribe to StoryWorth or another tech-aid, just do it. Get your stories down, and saved in one place.
Then, when you’re ready, let’s turn them into something even more special.