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Life Story Links: September 21, 2021
From memories out of the box (the boxes in your attic, that is) to the craft of writing memoir, this week's curated roundup has plenty to inspire and instruct.
“When you write your family history, be a recording angel and record everything your descendants might want to know.”
—William Zinsser
Vintage photo of Mr. and Mrs. Harold Garrity and family at home in Yonkers, New York, circa 1942, photographed by Arthur Rothstein.
Stories from Life
HISTORY THROUGH A PERSONAL LENS
“I don’t know if the horse had died or simply fainted with heat exhaustion. The peddler was slapping the horse in the face, yelling and cursing at the stricken animal in a futile attempt to force it to stand up.” Scenes from the Great Depression in NYC through the eyes of a boy.
DELVING INTO THE PAST
“The people from my past became like characters…. I found a lot of information that shows how people in my family tree thought alike. We would have been like best friends had we grown up at the same time.” On building a family legacy.
FINDGING HEMINGWAY
“Interweaving his eventful biography—a life lived at the ultimately treacherous nexus of art, fame, and celebrity—with carefully selected excerpts from his iconic short stories, novels, and non-fiction, the [now-streaming] series reveals the brilliant, ambitious, charismatic, and complicated man behind the myth, and the art he created.”
“In order to have something new to write, he had to have something new to live.” This panel discussion, “Hemingway and Biography,” happened back in May but I only just discovered it and thought others might be interested, as well.
The Craft of Memoir
OUT OF THE DARK
“So when you write about your life, don’t skip over the hard parts. What would be the point? Who would you be fooling? Yourself? Oh please.” Abigail Thomas asserts that vulnerability is a memoirist’s strength.
TALKING ABOUT TOURETTE’S
Salt Lake City–based personal historian Elizabeth Thomas offers up a few tips for memoirists who want to address a physical disability in their writing, using recent book The World's Strongest Librarian by Josh Hanagarne as a model.
Memories Out of the Box
THE VOICE OF THINGS
“I found that going through my accumulations became an ongoing encounter with everyone I’ve been on the way to whoever I am now,” Sven Birkirts writes in this meditation on why we keep what we keep.
PHOTO LEGACY
“Long after I’m gone, and my son becomes the steward of our family stories, these photos will remain. They will live on. They will speak across generations, saying, ‘I was here. I mattered to someone. I left a legacy of love. I helped start your story.’” Rachel LaCour Niesen on leaving a legacy of love.
YOUR LIFE IN 30 THINGS
Listen in as Martie McNabb discusses a community challenge she recently launched around choosing 30 objects that can tell your life story—and why so many people have trouble discerning which sentimental items to keep and which to get rid of:
In the Books
DRAW YOUR LIFE
Last week I shared some artful memory-keeping ideas from the world of sketch journaling plus the books to help you begin to draw your life, no pressure.
ONE-HOUR INTERVIEW = 5,000-WORD CHAPTER
“I realized that if writing was not my strong point, it didn’t make much sense to start with it, over-invest, and become frustrated with a behavior I personally found hard to do.” Barry O’Reilly on working with a writing partner.
...and a Few More Links
Journalist Ron Steinman shares memories of helping his Vietnamese family resettle in Maryland after the Vietnam War, and makes parallels to the plight of Afghan refugees today.
Ancestry corrals three leaders from tech world to help grow business.
On getting past writer’s block (and the kitchen table as hub for story sharing)
Short Takes
Life Story Links: March 30, 2021
A curated reading list for memory keepers including recent pieces about the craft of memoir, connecting generations through story, and history held in letters.
“You don’t need anyone’s permission to be the author of your life. It’s yours. Write it.”
—Cheryl Strayed
On this day in 2003, a law banning smoking in NYC restaurants and bars went into effect (and as a then–New Yorker, I was one of the seemingly few who were happy about it at the time!). Vintage photo of woman smoking in front of the Fifth Avenue entrance to the New York Public Library, 1954, by Angela Rizzuto, courtesy of the Anthony Angel Collection, Library of Congress Digital Collection.
Connecting the Generations
A TEEN AND HIS GRANDFATHER
A teenager reflects on the last couple of years of his PawPaw’s life, during late-stage dementia, and finds five lessons learned from the experience.
IT STARTED WITH A LETTER
Jacob Cramer founded Love for Our Elders when he was in his third year at Yale: The nonprofit collects handwritten and video letters for isolated elders (hundreds of thousands of them to date!). The group has also compiled a “Senior Storybook,” to which you can contribute.
LEGACY LOOMED LARGE
“I wish now that I had asked my father more about his one-and-only game against [Elgin] Baylor, more about that league and those times. But dad died 15 years ago. As close as we were, some of his history will always be cut off from me.”
PROMPTS IN A JAR
Elizabeth Thomas, a personal historian based in Salt Lake City, Utah, shares rules for a simple family history game that makes capturing stories from your family elders fun and engaging.
A GIFT FOR GENERATIONS TO COME
“And remember, you don’t have to call yourself a ‘writer’ or know much about creative writing techniques to write a personal history…. Your children and grandchildren or other members of your family will love anything that gives them a better picture of your life.”
“BRIDGED”
“Maybe, I thought, writing is about so much more than what can be contained within the margins of a page. Maybe it’s about what can be bridged. Or shoved together. At least for a moment.” Jennifer De Leon on mother-daughter relationships and the power of memory.
The Why Behind Story Preservation
CONVEYING THE URGENCY
Like many personal historians, I struggle with finding a way to adequately convey to everyone just how important it is to both ask our parents about their lives and tell them how we feel—and to do so now.
WAR STORIES
"My dad told me a lot of stories about being a poor kid in Kentucky...and I didn't write them down. And so I forgot,” said Tom Everman. So, the air force veteran recently wrote his own memories of the Vietnam War—for his children.
Epistolary Exchanges
“DEAR G.I.”
In 1966, a Massachusetts mother of three began writing to young men serving in Vietnam. One became her most steadfast pen pal, writing her 77 letters over seven years, and now that correspondence is gathered in a book.
1950S DRAG ARTISTS TELL THEIR STORIES
“I don't know why you guys want to tell this story,” various subjects told a co-director of the new documentary P.S. Burn This Letter Please. The film—like the letters it is based upon—opens a window into a forgotten world where being yourself meant breaking the law and where the penalties for “masquerading” as a woman were swift and severe.
The Stuff of History
WHIRLWIND TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE
“Two men. Two lives,” Dan McCullough writes. “One album of memories shared only by these two men, precipitated by one of them standing in a doorway a week ago today.”
A ‘VISUAL MEMORY‘ OF WAR IN SYRIA
“There is growing concern that digital evidence of history’s most documented conflict is being syphoned away by the Internet’s indiscriminate trash can.” As one Syrian activist put it, “It’s not just videos that have been deleted, it’s an entire archive of our life.”
THE OLDER, THE BETTER?
“It’s the photo albums, the well-loved baby blankets, and the shoe boxes full of letters that have left me paralyzed.” A thoughtful look at why decluttering can be so emotionally fraught.
“RIGHTSIZING”
Jeannine Bryant, author of Keep the Memories, Not the Stuff, “recommends attaching a story or experience to prized possessions, such as pointing out the single item that came from the ‘old country’ with an ancestor, to explain why it's important to you—and why it might become a cherished item for them someday.”
FROM TRASH TO TREASURE
“Why are you spending so much time on just one person—and just one person’s garbage? Because it’s such a robust story,” archaeologist Seth Mallios says in this piece exploring how he and his students are revealing the story of Nathan Harrison, one artifact at a time:
On the Craft of Memoir
OUT OF THE SHADOWS
Anna Brady Marcus writes about why you must include not just the light experiences (the ups, the joy) but the darker ones (the downs, the struggles) in your autobiography, too.
TIME STAMPS
Beth Kephart has “taken an idiosyncratic tour of time in memoir” and here shares some of her observations on how a writer might approach time on the page.
...and a Few More Links
This year’s college admissions essays became a platform for high school seniors to reflect on the pandemic, race, and loss.
New book features young authors from across the country, ages 7 to 13, sharing their personal stories and experiences about life during the pandemic.
Why do so may people think novels reflect the author’s personal history?
Clothes are a gateway to personal stories in Chinatown Pretty: Fashion and Wisdom from Chinatown’s Most Stylish Seniors.
Halted by pandemic, heritage travelers turn to great reads that delve into ancestors’ often surprising histories.
A rather negative take from a Wall Street Journal Opinion writer on an epidemic “of non-memorable life stories”
Actress Sharon Stone tells her story in new memoir.
Short Takes
Life Story Links: January 19, 2021
Timely reads on new memoirs and biographies, tips for fine-tuning your life story writing & curating your family photo archive, plus more links to bookmark now.
“I could tell this story with myself as the villain or the hero, innocent bystander or agent provocateur, and each time I’d be telling a form of the ‘truth.’ What is the value of a truth that has an infinite number of forms?”
—Marc Hammer
On this day in history: Snow fell for the first time in Miami on January 19, 1977 (though for the most part the flakes melted when they hit the ground).
Recent Memoir & Biography
“SUFFERING WITHOUT SENTIMENTALITY”
“I wanted to abandon all this personal history, its darkness and secrecy, its private grievances, its well-licked sorrows and prides—to thrust it from me like a manhole cover,” Bette Howland wrote in her 1974 memoir W-3, which has been recently reissued.
ON WRITING AND LIFE
Gabriel Byrne’s new memoir, Walking with Ghosts, has been hailed as a “masterpiece” by Colum McCann and as “dreamy, lyrical, and utterly unvarnished” by Colm Toibin. Listen in as Byrne talks about memory, loneliness, and more.
ANOTHER SIDE OF SYLVIA
“There’s this sense in other biographies that she was only writing to please other people—to get love from her mother, her professors, her teachers—and I thought that short-changed her own sense of ambition and determination and the pleasure that she got out of writing.” Heather Clark on not falling into the Sylvia Plath trap.
Timely Tips
TREASURE, NOT TRASH
Last week I wrote about what everyone can do to ensure their own family photo collections are inviting to the next generation—for, whether we want to believe it or not, many kids simply throw away those once cherished pictures.
LISTEN UP
“What might happen if you read your memoir aloud as if talking to a therapist…?” David Perez ponders in this piece on the power of speaking your writing to life (spoiler alert: there is substantial power in the exercise).
FREE SELF-PUBLISHING WEBINAR JAN. 25
During “Everything You Want to Know About Self-Publishing but Are Afraid to Ask” you’ll “leave with a roadmap to the self-publishing journey so you can start taking action now.” Register for the free January 25 Zoom class here.
...and a Few More Links
The Statue of Liberty—Ellis Island Foundation has opened a new online shop.
“You can’t tell a life story or family history with 60,000 photos.”
Learn all about the Army Navy “E” Award, a.k.a. the Excellence in War Production Award (WWII).
Study sheds light on how the timing of memory is encoded in the hippocampus.
Singer Billie Eilish set to release photo book filled with personal memories.
Read the current issue of Brevity.
California–based personal historian Perry Hamilton reflects on a wedding.
Preserving memories one image at a time
Short Takes