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Life Story Links: November 2, 2021
This biweekly curated reading list includes insights into recent celeb memoirs plus helpful tools & resources for anyone who wants to preserve their stories.
“No harm is done to history by making it something someone would want to read.”
—David McCullough
Vintage news photo of woman suffrage headquarters on Upper Euclid Avenue, Cleveland, circa 1912, with editor’s marking of “A,” “B,” and “C” as a guide for identifying key figures: A, Miss Belle Sherwin, president, National League of Women Voters; B, Judge Florence E. Allen (holding the flag); and C, Mrs. Malcolm McBride. Photographed by Harris & Ewing and International (New York), courtesy Library of Congress.
The Weight of Our Words
NARRATIVES OF TRAUMA
“Hearing survivors’ stories is absolutely healing for other survivors,” Amita Swadhin, founder of a nonprofit dedicated to sharing the stories of LGBTQIA+ Black, indigenous people, and people of color who have survived child sexual abuse.
HISTORY IS NOT FIXED
There is no definitive history, and we as oral historians and storytellers have a responsibility to preserve the truth amidst biases and shifting perspectives, opines family archivist Amanda Lacson.
REAL FAMILY STORIES, FICTIONALIZED
When famed novelist John Updike wrote a short story about her father—using many aspects lifted directly from real life alongside one that was decidedly not—poet Molly Fisk was forced to confront the secret truths that lie in fiction.
Preserving Family Legacies
FOOD AND FAMILY
Get the whole family involved in saving stories and favorite holiday recipes with these three easy and fun Thanksgiving memory-keeping ideas.
FOR THE DESCENDANTS
"Every personal history has its own unique set of circumstances that make it valuable even if it's just to your family," historian Dustin Galer said.
REVISITING ARTIFACTS
“The visceral experience of touching those photos and memorabilia made my personal history so tangible.” When a writer begins cleaning through all the stuff in her basement, “buried treasures emerge.”
Holocaust Testimony & War History
PASSING FROM LIVING MEMORY
“There are so few people alive who are actually part of this,” Daniel Mendelsohn said. “[The Holocaust] is in danger of becoming abstracted. It’s in danger of losing the fine-grained human reality, the little things people remember, and that, to me, is very anguishing.”
“THERE IS NO OPPOSING VIEW”
“I have nothing to say to the principal from Texas who thinks we need to have books with opposing views of the Holocaust,” Ilana Wiles writes in this thoughtful piece. “I hope that being vocal and telling our story, instead of keeping it hidden or shrouded in secrecy, will help our family continue to heal.”
PERSONAL STORIES REVEAL WWII HISTORY
The Imperial War Museum in London has unveiled new exhibitions entirely dedicated to the Second World War, including personal stories from 100 individuals from more than 30 countries:
Public Personalities, Private Stories
“ALL ABOUT MY SISTERS”
“Over a period of seven years, Wang [Qiong] filmed her parents, siblings and relatives from within the emotional thicket of their lives, capturing moments of piercing, private intimacy.” Filmmaker traces the tragic effects of China’s one-child policy on her family.
MYSTERY SOLVED
“Our archives contain multitudes. They open us to a world that helped to frame our own lives, though it can often feel inaccessibly distant. It’s always there, just waiting to be found, and to give up its closely-held secrets to those willing to look.” On recovering the history of actor David Duchovny’s grandfather, a Yiddish writer.
BUSTING INTO THE BOYS’ CLUB
Katie Couric’s new memoir, Going There, “might as well be subtitled ‘Owning This,’ starting with rattlesome family skeletons: subdued Judaism on one side, ‘blighted with racists’ on the other,” writes a reviewer.
RECONSIDERING THE MAN
“There’s a paradoxical pain built into reading a biography of someone we thought we knew well: In getting to know him better, he somehow morphs into a stranger.” How two new additions to the Anthony Bourdain canon contribute to his legacy.
“BERNSTEIN’S WALL”
“In a series of archival interviews that anchor the 105-minute film and provide its narration, [Leonard] Bernstein—who died in 1990 at age 72—muses on the role of the artist in society and the power of music to transform hearts and minds.”
...and a Few More Links
Memoirist Joyce Maynard announces winners of her 2021 personal narrative essay contest.
Penn Libraries acquires the personal papers of historian and activist Elizabeth Fee.
This four-week course in November is geared to help you write your memoir.
“I would have to revise the final manuscript of my life.”
Short Takes
Storytelling isn’t just good for the soul—it’s good for your health, too.
Did you know that listening to and sharing stories can help us live longer, happier lives? Discover three impactful ways to bring storytelling into your life.
Here are three ways to incorporate storytelling into your life to reap proven health benefits:
1 - Listen to some entertaining stories.
Can listening to a podcast really be good for your health? If it’s sharing a good story—and by good I mean that it’s relatable, engaging, and yearns toward the universal—then, heck yeah, it can.
Doctors explain it this way (well, I’ve simplified it greatly!):
We hear, “Once upon a time…” and, first, our heart rate increases as our attention is piqued.
Then, as the story begins to unfold, a chemical change happens—our brains release oxytocin, a hormone that causes us to really care about the people involved. Oxytocin helps us to feel bonded, and enhances our feelings of empathy.
According to studies, that release can also lower blood pressure, ease gastrointestinal distress, and even promote wound healing and suppress inflammation.
So the physical effect of listening to a good story goes well beyond leaning in to hear better!
And there’s more: Stories positively impact our mental health.
Researchers have found that seniors suffering from dementia who participate in community-based story sharing programs, sometimes referred to as reminiscence therapy, have improved cognitive function. You know what else? They report being happier.
An interesting finding? It doesn’t matter if the story we hear is happy, sad, or dramatic, as long as we’re engaged!
Two of my favorite places to get stories in bite-size pieces:
StoryCorps home page, for their animated interview clips, which always tug at my heartstrings
2 - Write about a challenging time in your life to help you make some sense of it.
When bad things happen, we need to find ways to fit them into the stories we have told ourselves about our lives. Journaling is one powerful way to do this.
“Storytelling allows us to take life events that are exceptional, unforeseen, or otherwise out of the ordinary and domesticate them into meaningful, manageable chapters in the ongoing arc of our lives. This act of integration,” Bruce Feiler writes in Life Is in the Transitions, “is storytelling’s greatest gift.”
Have you recently divorced your partner? Lost your job? Are you feeling undermined at work or lost at home? Have you suffered trauma in your past? Or are you just feeling a little “off”?
No matter how big or small your challenge, writing about it with intent—to reflect and find meaning—will undoubtedly be helpful. It’s why so many psychologists recommend the practice to patients working through a difficult experience.
What does the data say? Journaling helps improve well-being after traumatic and stressful events, according to a study from Cambridge University. A host of other research enumerates the benefits of expressive writing, as well, from coping more effectively with stress to improved memory function, from helping us make better decisions to accurately naming our feelings.
What do people say? Simply put, it makes us feel better. Journaling can be cathartic, sense-making, calming. By creating a coherent narrative out of something that was experienced mostly through emotions before—anger, sadness, outrage—we can make sense out of the chaos of our lives.
A few tips to get started writing about painful experiences:
Choose one challenging life event or theme to write about more than once. On day one, free-write—jot down impressions and emotions, and allow your pain to flow through your pen. On day two (a week or so later), try to construct a story about your experience; and during a subsequent writing session, probe for meaning. You might want to try writing a letter to your younger self, or imagining what a compassionate friend might say in response to your narrative. If these writing suggestions do not resonate, check out the writing prompts in this article specifically designed to help individuals cope with symptoms of PTSD.
Be gentle with yourself. While writing may bring clarity, it will also drum up some difficult feelings. Consider reaching out to a supportive friend or therapist if the process becomes overwhelming.
Find gratitude. Even in the most challenging circumstances we may find “silver linings.” Write about something you have learned or gained through your journal practice. Try to be conscious of any healing that is happening along the way.
3 - Ask someone you love to tell you stories from their life.
It’s so easy to get into a rut of routine conversation with our loved ones. Next time, skip the quick text asking, “How was your day,” and instead invite more meaningful conversation.
An eight-decade Harvard study found that those with deeper social connections live longer. “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study.
According to an article in The Harvard Gazette, “Several studies found that people’s level of satisfaction with their relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of physical health than their cholesterol levels were.”
Relationships, it would seem, are a key ingredient to our well-being, especially as we age.
And intergenerational connection—that between, say a grandparent and a grandchild—may have even greater health benefits.
As Marc Freedman, author of How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations, writes, “an accumulating body of research on purpose, generativity, relationships, and face-to-face contact suggests that engagement with others that flows down the generational chain may well make you healthier, happier, and possibly longer-lived.”
A few ideas for having deeper conversations with your family elders:
Pick one or two questions from a list of family history interview questions to spark some story sharing. And be a good listener: Ask follow-up questions, make eye contact (if you are physically present together or on video chat), and provide a safe space for reflection.
Grab an old family photo to use as a memory prompt and ask your loved one to tell you about a time from their childhood (or yours!).
Go deep: Ask them thought-provoking questions that are usually relegated to philosophy books these days. How do you want to be remembered? What do you wish you knew when you were 20 years old? What has been the great joy of your life?
My biggest wish for you? That you will do one or more of these suggestions not just once, but that you will make them a part of the fabric of your—even healthier!—life.