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Curious about your parents’ lives? Get your kids to interview them.
You might be surprised by how much your parents will open up—with fun stories, with meaningful lessons—when your kids interview them about their lives.
Kids age seven and older can conduct meaningful family history interviews with their grandparents—even from a distance over Zoom or other teleconferencing software.
What you don’t know about your parents’ lives could fill a book. Actually, multiple books, more like it!
Even those of us who are close to our parents—who speak to them every day on the phone, who love spending time with them, and who rely on them for emotional support or perspective—even we take a lot about our parents for granted. It’s the nature of the parent-child relationship, right? On the children’s end: a built-in assumption that our parents will, quite simply, always be there for us. On the parents’ end: an assumption that our kids see us as “mom” or “dad” rather than “Lillian” or “Jonathon.”
The results of those assumptions? For the kids, that we are less likely to feel any sense of urgency around asking our parents for their stories. For the parents, a sense that their grown kids don’t really want to know about their lives before becoming parents.
Trust me, as a personal historian I have seen this story play out far too often. Grown kids who come to me only after their parents have died, haunted by the guilt that they never got around to asking their mother or father about their lives. Parents who come to me unsure if telling their stories will even matter—“No one has ever asked me,” a father might say, or “My kids don’t care about any of this!”
Sure, you can sit down and interview your parents about their lives (I encourage it, for sure!). But I’ll let you in on a secret: Often folks reveal much more of themselves to a stranger. When I interview someone professionally to capture their stories, I have the advantage of not being emotionally attached to the people or the stories. It’s a guaranteed no-judgment zone. Not to mention that having dedicated time and space for someone to tell their story helps clear the mental clutter and get right to the heart of story sharing.
There’s someone else who can get your parents to speak freely, I bet: your kids. Grandchildren who come to their grandparents with genuine curiosity will inevitably tap a rich well of stories from their elders.
Looking at photos, whether in an old family album or on a device, is a great way to prompt memories and get the stories flowing from grandparent to grandchild (and vice versa!).
A few reasons why grandparents are excited to share stories with their grandkids:
TO IMPART LESSONS: By talking about their life journey—including funny missteps and even big failures—grandparents can share some of their hard-earned wisdom with the next generation.
TO CONNECT MEANINGFULLY: How often do your parents get to have real conversations with your kids? This is a rare—and precious—opportunity.
TO REFLECT INTENTIONALLY: Like writing in a journal, being interviewed for one’s life stories provides a chance for reflection that we rarely indulge in during our busy lives. It’s a practice that’s good for our mental health, according to research, but beyond the research, it just feels darn good.
TO HAVE SOME FUN: Sharing childhood memories and grown-up exploits with the grandkids—what could bet better? It’s a chance for the grandparent to pull out some favorite old photos, to get a little nostalgic, and to share a piece of themselves with someone they love unconditionally. Laughs will ensue, I promise!
If you’d like to encourage your child to interview your parents, I hope you’ll download this popular resource that I’ve been giving away for free since the pandemic began—The Kid Kit: Everything You Need to Interview the Grandparents. Originally available for purchase in the Modern Heirloom Books store, I felt strongly that during this time of separation (and newly-found comfort in connecting over Zoom), I wanted as many people as possible to have it.
Inside you’ll get not only interview questions (and those are AWESOME, if I say so myself—they’re designed with kids aged 7+ in mind and cover a wide range of topics), but you’ll also get bonus activities, a history timeline, and tips for how to continue the story sharing post-interview.
FREE RESOURCE: Questions, Activities & More
Get your kids talking—really talking—to your parents. They’ll get stories even YOU’VE never heard!
Want your parents’ stories? Here are 3 easy ways to help get them.
Preserve your parents’ (and grandparents’) stories meaningfully for the next generation with these three ideas that make the process simple and enjoyable.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to capture your parents’ stories—your kids (and YOU!) will be grateful to have them one day.
Of course you want your parents’ stories. We all do. But the chances of us getting them without asking for them is, well, pretty unlikely.
I inherited three journals—you know, the ones with those guided family history questions on every page?—from my mom. I got goosebumps when I unearthed them among her things; the prospect of “hearing” from her one more time made me giddy, even in my deepest grief. But when I opened them, there was almost nothing inside: Each book had a few random pages filled out, and by “filled out” I mean she had written one or two sentences or, in some cases, a few words. I already knew her favorite color was yellow and that she had one brother. I wanted deeper memories—recollections in the shape of stories, written in a way that brought her childhood and later experiences to life for me. None were there.
Unless our parents are writers—and writers who turn their attention inwards, at that—the only stories we probably get are the ones they share around the dinner table. For one thing, dinner table conversation is a dying art (multiple generations around the dinner table regularly—come on!). For another, those oral stories aren’t preserved unless someone deems to write them down (you?).
There ARE ways, though, to ensure that we do preserve our parents’ stories meaningfully for the next generation. Here are three that I can help you with right now:
1 - Grab this free guide and encourage your kids to interview their grandparents.
Early on in the pandemic I created this guide to help combat the loneliness many elders were facing as in-person visits waned and social distancing became the norm. I was heartened when it took off—and when I heard from folks just how meaningful the conversations that ensued were.
This 20-page guide is chock-full of good things to help you get your kids involved in capturing stories from their grandparents! Designed especially for kids ages 8 and up (and we mean way up—you’re never too old to embark on a conversation with your loved ones!), the e-book includes:
45 family history questions
3 fun bonus activities
interview recording tips
historical timeline
ideas for what to do post-interview
2 - Enroll your parents in our memory & writing prompt course to get them writing about their own lives.
Perhaps instead of an interview you’d like to see your parents write about their own memories? Going this route allows for thoughtful reflection that provides stories with even more meaning—and ensures the process will continue for a while beyond a one- or two-hour interview.
My Write Your Life course provide exactly what your parents will need to begin their life writing journey:
weekly memory prompts on topics such as Childhood Memories, Food Memories, Life Transitions, and more (themes change every few weeks, and course lasts for a full year)
writing tips that will help them with their assignments but not burden them with unrealistic literary expectations
a dose of inspiration (staying on track isn’t always easy, but reminders of just why it’s so important really do help!).
The best part? Lessons are delivered straight to their email inbox on the day of their choosing, and I am always available for added support and Q&A. And at just $99 for a year-long, enrolling is a no-brainer for anyone who wants to write about their life!
3 - Invest in personal history services to professionally capture their stories—I’d love to interview them!
If you prefer a full-service approach to capturing your parents’ stories, then personal history interviews are the best way to go.
In a nutshell: I interview your parents to capture their memories, help them curate their photos and mementos, and turn everything into an heirloom book with a cohesive narrative and engaging design.
We can do a single 90-minute interview to capture memories from a specific time in their life, or conduct a series of interviews over weeks or months to more fully paint of picture of their legacy.
All my projects are 100-percent customized, so it’s best if we chat to see how we can best work together. Investment for personal history heirloom books start at $1,500.
Which option is right for you?
I hope you found helpful resources here to put you on the path to capturing your parents’ stories for your family archive.
If you have questions or there is anything I can help you with on your journey, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Young and old, together at last
Even as families come together, many are still social distancing from family elders. Connect grandkids & grandparents with these cross-generational questions.
Whether separated by Covid or simply distant living arrangements, grandparents and their precious grandkids can still connect meaningfully using screens.
I’ve seen a lot of heart-swelling posts on Facebook this week showing grandkids hugging their Bubbes and Grans for the first time in months.
This whole social distancing thing has been hard on all of us, not least the generations bookending our own lives. So those hugs feel even more special and those laughs sound even more joyful when our kids and our parents are reunited after weeks on end of communicating exclusively over Zoom.
But the risk of Covid-19 persists, and many of us are continuing to take precautions (and even social distance) with older family members.
That doesn’t have to mean awkward FaceTime silences or quick escapes by the littlest in your family (even my 10-year-old has a tough time focusing on virtual conversations for more than a few minutes!).
Get them talking—really talking!
Early on in the pandemic, I worked with my son to create The Kid Kit: Everything You Need to Interview the Grandparents. We experimented with how to distribute it and whether it should become a new (paid) product before realizing: We want everyone to have this!
So we spread the word via bloggers and social media, and the response was overwhelming. I feel humbled and grateful that so many of you have downloaded this free resource, and even more psyched when you share success stories with me.
Have you gotten your Kid Kit yet? 5 reasons you should:
There are 45 family history questions that include light-hearted fare as well as thought-provoking conversation starters—something for every mood.
It includes three fun bonus activities that can easily be done “together apart.”
Bonus interview recording tips were added last-minute to make the guide even more useful during this historical time we are living through.
A fun graphic, historical timeline teaches the kids at the same time it provides more memory prompts for the grandparents.
There are even ideas for what to do post-interview, so you can be sure this valuable family history is preserved (and that the relationship between your kids and your parents continues to be nourished).
These questions can be used in person, too, you know.
While I am spreading the news now in the hopes that these questions will be a great way for kids to bond with their grandparents during the pandemic, OF COURSE everything in the kit can be completed in person, too.
Won't you please:
tell a friend about how easy it is to sign up
share your stories with me of how the interviews go (seriously, I live for this stuff!).
FREE RESOURCE: Questions, Activities & More
Get your kids talking—really talking—to your parents. They’ll get stories even YOU’VE never heard!
