Memories Matter
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Life Story Links: February 20, 2024
This week’s curated roundup has recent stories of interest to memoirists, family history lovers, life story writers, and memory-keepers of all kinds.
“Perhaps what I know about beautiful endings is that the arc of a story is only what we choose to focus the lens on—in real life the narrative goes on and on and on. An ending looks beautiful because we choose that specific moment to end it.”
—Jami Nakamura Lin
Vintage poster with original artwork by Edward T. Grigware produced some time between 1941-1943 by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
Writing our lives: Process, support, and ideas
CAN YOU EXHAUST INEXHAUSTABLE MEMORY?
“In an epigraph of her own invention, [Annie Ernaux] says: ‘If I don’t write things down, they haven’t been carried to completion, they have only been lived.’” A thoughtful exploration of “writing toward the unachievable whole.”
LOOKING FOR A CRAFT BOOK?
I distilled years’ worth of reading to share what I consider to be the five essential books about life writing—find mini reviews, recommendations of which book is right for whom, and author credentials.
THE MESS IS THE STORY
“So many ‘transformation’ stories fail to connect because they skip from chaos to revelation with barely a pause to acknowledge the blood, sweat and tears involved in the in-between.” Here, ideas for untangling the mess of life to make some narrative sense of it.
THE CHOICES SHE MADE
“Had the story evolved over the years and become part of the narrative of his life, one he genuinely believed was true because he had told it so many times?” How does one choose a narrative strategy? One biographer takes us through her process.
CALL FOR PITCHES
The folks at Narratively have announced a new collaboration with Creative Nonfiction magazine, and to kick off their partnership, they are seeking pitches for (paid) contributions to a special series, “The Art of Narrative Storytelling.”
GET READY FOR A MONTH OF WRITING!
The writing prompts in this video from Family Tree magazine are not your average family history questions—rather, they’re ideas for creatively bringing your genealogy to narrative life:
TRUTH AND SELF-DISCOVERY
Patricia Pihl, a personal historian based in western New York, looks at two memoirs that base their themes on discovering a formative belief is untrue, and how this shaped the authors’ identities.
Let’s hear from the writers themselves
A JOYCEAN LEGACY
“In April 2014, a lawyer friend asked if I might consider ghostwriting a memoir for a client he described as a difficult man.” Several candidates had already been rejected. “The client’s reputation didn’t so much precede him as ride out like a pillaging army.”
THE AGES HE’S BEEN
“I am happy that I’ve survived mentally and physically. I can look back at the obstacles I had to deal with and confront during my life and appreciate that I overcame them.” Alfred J. Lakritz, author of the memoir Adieu, responds to the Oldster questionnaire.
A MEMOIR OF TRANSITION
When Lucy Sante “began to transition in her 60s, she saw a lifetime of experiences in a new light.” A look at how her new memoir, I Heard Her Call My Name, is both more elliptical and more honest than her first, The Factory of Facts, written as Luc Sante.
...and a few more links
Navigating digital legacy: understanding and setting up legacy contacts
Leonardo’s ‘magic upscaler’ is an AI tool that can boost the resolution of any photo.
What if uncovering the stories of your ancestral past began the path toward ancestral healing?
109-year-old survivor of 1921 Tulsa Race Massacre writes memoir.
Short takes
Life Story Links: February 6, 2024
This week’s curated roundup is overflowing with informative podcasts, videos, and stories about memoir, life writing, legacy film, and how memory works.
“Sometimes it feels like each poem I write is a draft of The Poem I’m trying to write—that singular, golden, impossibly definitive poem. The one poem I’m trying to live. Or the one life I’m trying to write.”
—Maggie Smith
Vintage poster with original artwork by Richard Halls produced by the Work Projects Administration circa 1938; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
On writing our lives
LIFE STORY INNOVATIONS & PRACTICE
The current issue of The International Journal of Reminiscence and Life Review contains a number of interesting papers, including a special section, “The Healing Power of Storytelling.” Two worth checking out:
KICKSTARTING YOUR WRITING LIFE
“It was such a loss for me, to know that I had the opportunity to ask questions and I didn’t,” Patricia Charpentier says in this video introduction to writing about your life.
IT’S ALL MATERIAL
“In a certain sense it goes to the heart of who we are as writers: why she is a novelist and I a memoirist. Now that I find interesting.” Vivian Gornick on Lore Segal.
CRAFTING A LOVING TRIBUTE
After a prospective client asked if I had a series of memory prompts specifically geared to help him write about his wife, I crafted these questions to help anyone honor their partner and tell the story of their relationship.
TOP GHOSTS DISH
Joel Stein sat down with six of the top ghostwriters in the celebrity memoir business to learn “about the curious craft of ghostwriting and the types of personalities drawn to help famous people tell their life stories.”
In search of the past
MISSING PERSONS
“The most representative thing about my family was not the small farm, the nightly saying of the Rosary, or the close community of neighbours … but the fact that most of its members lived elsewhere.” On a grandmother’s secrets and a search for broader truths.
ADOPTION, ACCESS, AND IDENTITY
“Late at night, in my childhood room, questions haunted me: Where did I come from? Why was I adopted? Who was my original family?” This writer says she could have gone to prison for what she did to find her birth parents.
TASTES OF THE PAST
Many “cultures live in the diaspora, in cracks and crevices of oral histories, of old folded scraps of paper, of recipes. I’ve found that food has the best clues.” Historians on bringing “dead recipes” back to life.
LOST STORIES
“I mean, you go to any antique shop and you are going to find family photographs… It’s amazing the stuff that families don’t want.” How once meaningful keepsakes end up in estate sales.
“AN INTRICATE MOSAIC”
“Holding a handwritten letter from a grandparent, reading their words, and feeling the texture of the paper can be a profoundly emotional experience. Personal archives bring the past into the present.” Margot Note on preserving history and memory in archives.
IDENTITIES BUILT ON SHIFTING SAND
“Our memories form the bedrock of who we are. Those recollections, in turn, are built on one very simple assumption: This happened. But things are not quite so simple.” A leading memory researcher explains how to make precious moments last.
For your listening pleasure
INSIGHTS FROM A TOP MEMOIRIST
In this wide-ranging discussion, award-winning author Dani Shapiro discusses striving towards the universal in memoir, writing a book without an outline, and how she had to slow down the rush of storytelling in her bestselling memoir Inheritance because she was living the tale as she was writing it:
A COUNTRY BOY AT HEART
Fans of Finding Your Roots will recognize Henry Louis Gates Jr.’s smarts and sense of humor, but I am willing to bet you haven’t heard his storytelling skills shine like they do in this interview with Dax Shepard:
LEGACY IN THE FACE OF DEATH
On this episode of Inside Photo Organizing podcast, professional photo manager Sharon Wunder talks about how her cancer diagnosis shifted her thinking about the idea of legacy, and about how she approaches preserving memories that are not accompanied by photos; I recommend starting at the 7:13 mark:
PROMPTING POWERFUL STORYTELLING
“This is not about ego, about being big and great, but rather, about being of service, and of understanding your place in the larger story. Trained interviewers draw people out of their shells and get people talking in story,” Jamie Yuenger, founder of StoryKeep, says in this video, which is part of a larger series called Legacy Lens:
...and a few more links
What does it take for a writer to achieve sentiment without sentimentality?
New demographic report sheds light on exactly how many Jewish Holocaust survivors are still living.
King Charles’s biographer on the moment Charles learned he was King.
Landscapes of Resistance trailer and review: “an enigmatic meditation on a life marked by Auschwitz”
Personal histories: a “trend of publishing them for a wider audience is catching on in India”
Short takes
Life Story Links: January 23, 2024
In this week’s curated roundup: how to have a legacy mindset, how documenting our lives does (or does not) help us remember, and ways to honor lost loved ones.
“I started to believe that writing is humanity distilled into ink.”
—Diana Chao
Vintage poster with original artwork by Anthony Velonis produced by the Work Projects Administration circa 1939; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
On preservation, life stories, and legacy
OVERSHARERS ANONYMOUS
“Writing is how I understand life,” bestselling memoirist Dolly Alderton, author of Everything I know About Love, says. And yet, she swears she’ll never write another book about herself.
CAN OUR ARCHIVES HELP US REMEMBER BETTER?
“But how exactly does documenting our lives impact how we live and remember them?” Listen in to a robust conversation about the gaps in how we record things and how we remember them, from The Atlantic:
HOW WILL YOU BE REMEMBERED?
“When we think in terms of legacy, we’re really trying to use our imagination to think far beyond our own individual existence.” Katherine Kam on how to adopt a legacy mindset.
FAMILY SECRETS, REVEALED
Recent advice from the NYT Ethicist columnist—about the burden of newly discovered genealogy information from a DNA test—is being hotly debated in the comments (more than 500 to date). Dig in for some fascinating back-and-forth.
Remembering those who have gone
KEEPING MEMORIES ALIVE
This young Irish entrepreneur uses gravestone plaques with QR codes to help families celebrate the memory of their lost loved ones (even pets).
GENEROSITY IN GRIEF
A single short conversation with one of my clients revealed a few truths that I have witnessed over and over again during my years creating books to memorialize our lost loved ones.
“MEMORY’S COMPOUND OF EMBELLISHMENT AND REALITY”
Robert Glück’s About Ed—which draws on the subject’s notes, audio clips, diaries, and dream journals—“is a literary monument that harnesses memoir’s emotional honesty while indulging fiction’s stylistic latitude,” writes a reviewer.
Short takes
Life Story Links: January 9, 2024
Our first curated roundup of 2024 is overflowing with recent stories of interest to life story and memoir writers, family history lovers, and memory-keepers.
“We are all virtuoso novelists…[who] try to make all of our material cohere into a single good story. And that story is our autobiography. The chief fictional character at the centre of that autobiography is one’s self.”
―Daniel Dennett
Vintage postcard celebrating the new year (“Bonne Année”) courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints, and Photographs: Picture Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collections.
Spaces, stuff, and story
IMAGINED IMAGES
“For Maria Mavropoulou, growing up without a family archive interrupted her sense of belonging, leaving her with the haunting sensation that something was always missing. Rather than accept this lack, she turned to AI to fill in the gaps.”
“DECORATING IS AUTOBIOGRAPHY”
“How do you memorialize the people you loved and lost? Object by object, the CNN anchor is finding out,” reads the intro to this peek inside Anderson Cooper’s home—and how he decides what to keep and, by extension, what to remember.
PACK YOUR MEMORIES
“Reminding people that sentimental belongings—whether a photograph, a figurine, or an item of clothing—matter too could be a small stride toward helping them recover emotionally after a disaster.” Why we should think about adding a meaningful supplement to our disaster kit.
THE DETRITUS OF DAILY DOINGS
“As the blank dates of a new year accrue the granular minutia of our day-to-day stuff, week after week, month after month, the datebook morphs into a retrospective collage that’s as messy as life itself.” A writer on the stories held within her decades’ worth of personal datebooks.
Memoir behind-the-scenes
WHEN SOMEONE ELSE’S STORY RESONATES
“When I write, I’m carrying so much care inside of me. I’m not writing to feel more alone, I’m writing to connect further to all the people who have loved me.”
REVISIONS AND REFLECTIONS
The September 11 tragedy was a major inspiration for Catherine Underhill Fitzpatrick’s memoir. When beta readers and her editor asked her to go deeper into how that time impacted her life, she listened.
A WOMEN’S HISTORY
Emma Southon says her book A Rome of One’s Own “is a history of individuals, because, to quote Svetlana Alexievich, ‘this miniature expanse: one person, the individual. It’s where everything really happens.’”
JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY
“The most compelling stories involve a teller amid discovery. Discovery of self. Discovery of new ideas. Discovery of community.” This lesson from The Moth Storytelling School focuses on how discovery plays a role in crafting a story.
Finding yourself in a family history
WHOSE SCRIPT ARE YOU IN?
From movies to novels to our own family history, “as we access the character in that story, we access ourselves in our own stories.” From Psychology Today, thoughts on the healing power of storytelling.
A QUESTION OF LEGACY
“Some of my ancestors had money, and some held awful beliefs. I set out to investigate what I once stood to inherit,” David Owen writes in this piece exploring varied stories from his extensive family history.
FROM WRITER TO CURATOR
“My interest in my grandmother's story has always been about being curious how our own stories change as life unfolds. This moment in history could not be a better example of that,” Rachael Cerrotti said about adapting her book, We Share the Same Sky, for an exhibit currently on view at the Florida Holocaust Museum.
...and a few more links
A look at Liz Cheney’s memoir, which skyrocketed to the top of the bestseller list upon release.
Former Boston Herald reporter to write the life of Marvelous Marvin Hagler
Invite your loved ones into your family history research at your next get-together.
“Mandela: The Official Exhibition” chronicles the leader’s personal journey with unseen items.
Short takes
Life Story Links: December 12, 2023
Personal historian Dawn Roode’s biweekly curated roundup includes stories of interest to memoir writers and readers, family history fans, and life story lovers.
“It’s significant that whenever we think about people saving letters, we think of them tied up with a ribbon.”
—Brittany Snow & Jasper Guest, September Letters: Finding Strength and Connection in Sharing Our Stories
Vintage poster promoting winter tourism in New York, with original illustration by Jack Rivolta, produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
Memories, memoir and unique histories
“HOW DOES IT WORK?”
After launching an annual subscription of Write Your Life memory prompts, I got some questions about how the program works—so I compiled a list of answers.
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A PERSON
“The beauty of memoir is its resistance to confinement: We contain multitudes, so our methods of introspection must, too. This year’s best memoirs perfectly showcase such variety.”
ETHICS, CONSENT, AND TELLING FAMILY STORIES
When weaving first person narrative into a reported piece, award-winning journalist Jennifer Senior says to “take nothing for granted and fact-check your own memory. We are really unreliable narrators.... You want to tape record conversations with your mother, for instance, and rely heavily on archival material when there is material.”
USING SKELETAL REMAINS TO TELL STORIES
“Archaeologists from the University of Cambridge have compiled a series of ‘bone biographies’ that shed new light on residents of medieval Cambridge. The project’s website, called After the Plague, chronicles the lives of 16 ordinary individuals who lived between the 11th and 15th centuries.”
OUR STORIES CHANGE IN THE RETELLING
“The way I talk about an event to my mother is not the same as how I talk about it to a friend, for example. Writing this book was a little frightening, in that it felt like now this would be the definitive version,” memoirist Jami Nakamura Lin says in an interview.
Short takes
Life Story Links: November 28, 2023
This week's curated roundup is small but mighty, with reflections and advice from personal historians and a look at recent celebrity memoirs of note.
“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories from your life—not someone else’s life—water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.”
―Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves
Vintage poster produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
From personal historians…
WHO WAS SHE, REALLY?
Personal historian Marjorie Turner Hollman’s interest in her great-great grandmother—sparked by caches of letters and a crazy quilt in her family’s possession—“turned into a 30+ year quest to piece together the context and events that surrounded a remarkable woman we never really knew.”
THE REVELATORY SURPRISE OF LIFE WRITING
“You may think you are writing about your life for your family—to honor your ancestors, to give a gift to your descendants. But the truth is deeper. You’ll see.”
SOUND MATTERS
Filmmaker Debbie Mintz Brodsky provides tips for turning an audio recording of a family history interview into a compelling video using photos and videos to bring the stories to life.
A YEAR TO REMEMBER
Yesterday I launched a new offering on my website, a year of memory and writing prompts called Write Your Life, and announced an introductory rate on the blog. This has been a labor of love for me and I am excited to finally share!
HONORING MEMENTOS LIKE A MINIMALIST
“I’ve personally helped hundreds of clients whittle down their mementos and treasures into a handful of airtight waterproof bins, which is certainly an improvement, but also kind of a sad end goal.”
A GRANDSON’S INTEREST
“On her piano, between images of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, is a small cutout photograph of her older sister, Irena, who disappeared eighty years ago. Why hadn’t I ever asked her who that was?” In the film Nina & Irena, a Holocaust survivor breaks her silence after 80 years.(This companion resource facilitates discussions at home or in the classroom.)
…to public figures
CO-OPTING THEIR NARRATIVES
“The [celebrity] memoir offers more than salacious gossip and a jumpstart to waning careers: an opportunity for women defined by their images to finally speak.”
WHO, WHAT, WHERE?
Barbra Streisand’s new memoir—clocking in at a hefty 966 pages—doesn’t have an index (so no skipping to the juicy parts!). That is, until now: Uber-fan Andrew Hopf created an admirably thorough index himself.
...and a few more links
“Why You Maybe Shouldn’t Write a Memoir,” in which the author proceeds to poo-poo “I-talk”
Kindred Tales launches AI transcription services to assist with creation of keepsake memoirs
The Moth and Uncommon Goods have partnered on a few storytelling gift items.
Charles Scribner III on three generations in the book business
Short takes
Life Story Links: November 14, 2023
From biography and memoir recommendations to explorations of memory, truth, and family history, this week’s curated roundup has diverse and rich reads.
“We must acquiesce to our experience and our gift to transform experience into meaning. You tell me your story, I’ll tell you mine.”
—Patricia Hampl, I Could Tell You Stories
Vintage poster with original artwork by Alexander Dux promoting tourism, June 1939, produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
Their stories, in print
A NEW LOOK AT KING WHO ABDICATED
A new bio of King Edward VIII weaves together his own writing, interviews, and diary entries from his original ghostwriter to form “an extraordinary new portrait of one of the most famous characters in modern royal history.”
AN ICON TELLS ALL
My Name Is Barbra, Ms. Streisand’s long-awaited (and rather enormous) autobiography, doesn’t have an index, but a writer for the NYT has teased out “the best bits.” Oh, and the audio book (read by the author) clocks in at a mere 48 hours.
What becomes of our memories
‘OBSESSIVE, DIARISTIC RUMINATION’
“But what I did understand then was that [reading her journals] was an incredible honor, perhaps even a trespass, which came with a responsibility.” Anne Liu Kellor on keeping (a giant chest full of) journals.
REMEMBER WHEN…?
Last week I offered up a few ideas for how to remember intentionally, rather than letting social media sites such as Facebook or the Photos app on your phone be your only source of “memories.”
IT’S IN THE TELLING
“I wanted to see what the local newspaper reported about my grandfather’s act of bravery in preventing a lynching.” How two versions of a family story sparked a writer’s quest for truth.
Personal history, public access
ACCESS TO AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY
“What reduced me to tears was the fact that my great-great-grandmother had spent 60 cents on two “baker tins,” more than the payment she received for an entire day’s work.” How a researcher discovered some of her own history at the National Archives, and an introduction to a project to make Freedmen’s Bureau records available to the broader public.
UNSEALED AT LAST
Unopened love letters in Britain’s archives are “a treasure trove bearing intimate details about romance and daily life in mid-18th-century France.”
20 YEARS IN…
In this podcast episode, StoryCorps goes back to the organization’s early days, including the challenges of building a recording booth in Grand Central Terminal, and follows up with participants from the first-ever radio story they broadcast on NPR:
INTERACTIVE MAP OF MEDIEVAL MURDERS
“While historical records have increasingly been digitized, Ms. Swarthout said that online archives were not always easy to use...[but] tools like the murder map are a fresh way to synthesize large amounts of old information. ‘It’s just very fun to go through.’”
...and a few more links
Short takes
Life Story Links: October 31, 2023
Today’s curated roundup includes some great family history finds, thought-provoking reads about truth and fact in memoir, plus life writing ideas and prompts.
“Are you there? Can you hear what I have to
tell you? Our lives are finite—and yet…Look
at the way they preserve themselves.”
—Judith Kitchen, The Circus Train
Vintage poster with original artwork by Martin Weitzman announcing a roller skating carnival in New York City’s Central Park, October 1936, produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.
Towards truth in memoir
MERE BELIEF?
“And so we mold our pasts into a story that may bear little resemblance to the genuine mess of actual life. When I write from memory, am I writing a history or a story? Isn’t it both?” A fascinating look at the sliiperiness of memory, by Sallie Tisdale.
CONTRADICTIONS IN MEMOIR
“As time goes by, we may find ourselves further removed from one kind of truth (what it was) but edging ever closer to another (what it means).” On why it matters how we tell the story of Sinead O’Connor.
WHAT WE TELL, WHAT WE HIDE
“It becomes part of the work of the writer and of the artist to expose the humanness of our stories to light, to air, as a way to transcend and move beyond what binds us, often generationally, to silence.” Elissa Altman on writing, permission, and the certainty of our stories.
What we write about
LESSONS FROM A CHILDHOOD IN A CHINESE RESTAURANT
“Like a welcoming restaurant server, [Curtis Chin] invites the reader to share in digestible bites of memories from childhood up through college graduation. Instead of chapters, anecdotes are dished out in menu sections such as ‘appetizers and soups,’ ‘rice and noodles’ and ‘main entrees.’”
LIFE WRITING INSPIRATION
Last week I shared ways to discover life writing prompts all around you, so the glaring white of a blank journal page doesn’t interrupt your regular journaling practice.
Family history finds
AN AMERICAN PUZZLE
Census categories for race and ethnicity have shaped how the nation sees itself. This graphic-heavy, meticulously reported piece looks at how they have changed over the last 230 years.
WHAT TO SAVE, WHAT TO TOSS
What do you save from the pile of old journals, pedigree charts, group sheets, loose papers and books of remembrance? How Swedish death cleaning can help you declutter your family history documents.
ONCE UPON A CAMERA
Thousands of historical New England photos destined for the trash were saved by a photographer who painstakingly restored the glass plate slides and donated the archive to the UMass Amherst Library.
...and a few more links
Reconstructing memory in Alexandria Canchola’s “Yours to Keep” art exhibit
Curtis Chin on the challenge and freedom of speaking your story aloud
Shoah Foundation to collect and preserve testimonies from survivors of Oct. 7 Hamas attack on Israel
“Images on our phones have changed the way we make our collective memories.”
Short takes