Memories Matter
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Life Story Links: December 4, 2019
A smattering of pieces on the distance between memoir and history, the importance of memories, storytelling as an act of restoration, plus unique gift ideas.
“The turning leaves of fall remind us how much beauty wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the life and death of each season that came before. This lesson in wholeness entreats us to pursue the whole picture of who we were made to be, to live in the abundance of our own story, and to know that each piece—the broken, the sad, the hard, just as much as the fulfilled, the good, the happy—plays into reaping the harvest of who we are.”
—Joanna Gaines
First Person Voice
TINY LOVE STORIES
In “From Romantic Tragedy to Romantic Comedy” readers share personal anecdotes of love in no more than 100 words—proof than emotion and story can indeed be conveyed meaningfully and succinctly.
WRITING OTHERS INTO BEING
Sema Kaygusuz’s grandmother “constantly talked about her impoverished childhood, about the older sister she lost at a young age, about the many djinns, spirits and beings from the other world whom she saw in her dreams,” yet she was silent about the trauma she witnessed in Turkey in 1938. Why?
MAKING HISTORY
“Despite their messiness, obscurity and fictions, individual lives are the stitches of the past.” At what point does memoir become biography and biography become history?
Bits & Pieces
WRAPPED IN MEMORIES
Last week I shared five fabulous gift ideas for any sentimental adults in your life, and I do believe each one is more unexpected than the next! Will you be putting any on your own wish list...?
THE ANONYMOUS PROJECT
“Storytelling can be yet another act of restoration.” On imagining the stories behind old photographs and slides gathered into a collection, sans context or captions.
...and a Few More Links
Inspired by Monticello’s Getting Word project, students launch UVA oral history project.
How people in the UK are preserving history for future generations with life stories
The Survivors: A Story of War, Inheritance, and Healing—a story where no one is exactly who they seem.
Twitter's plans to start deleting inactive accounts prompts digital legacy concerns.
Short Takes
5 most unique gifts for sentimental loved ones
Five unique gift ideas that put a premium on family memories & legacy. Start holiday shopping or pick up a birthday present for a loved one who has everything!
Shopping for holiday or birthday gifts for the kids in our lives is relatively easy compared with picking a present for an adult loved one who seems to have it all, don’t you agree?!
My feeling in recent years has been to opt for experiential gifts—tickets to a show (even better if we can all go together), an immersive class in a favorite hobby (think cooking or photography), or a surprise outing with a group of family and friends (a sunset river cruise, apple picking, or a day-long scenic hike). The connections and memories made on these occasions are, as that old MasterCard commercial goes, “priceless.”
But when a physical gift is in order, why not focus on ideas that pay homage to those special memories?
Wrapped with Love and Memories
Photo Locket Necklace
Too many of our images live on our devices. Liberate your precious photos from the screen and hold them close to your heart in a customized locket necklace. Elegant modern options abound, like this sterling silver gate design with sapphires from Monica Rich Kosann, pictured ($795, holds two pictures)—this one’s on my wish list! If you or your gift recipient prefer antique pieces with some history of their own, scour the finely curated collection at Luna & Stella (prices start at $250).
Custom Heritage Ceramics
Do you have a handwritten recipe passed down from your mom? Maybe a love letter penned by your grandfather during the Great War? Honor their spirit and incorporate their legacy into your home by customizing a beautiful piece of pottery showcasing their note. Prairie Hills Pottery reproduces your original in warm sepia tones on crisp white platters, suitable for cooking or display. Casserole bakers, jewelry dishes, and decorative jars are also available. Starting at $30.
Permanent Remembrance on a U.S. National Monument
Have your family’s name inscribed on the American Immigrant Wall of Honor® at Ellis Island, the only place in the country where an individual can honor his or her family heritage at a National Monument. Names on the Wall of Honor represent all ethnicities, all years of arrival, all points of entry, and all modes of travel. Consider inscribing names of family members to commemorate the centennial of an ancestor’s arrival, or as a proud marker of becoming newly naturalized. Of course, your next gift should be a trip to this historic island in New York Harbor to find your name on the wall and visit the museum! $150 for single name; $225 for double name entry; one commemorative certificate is included with each name inscription, and additional certificates are available for $15 each; tax deductible donations support restoration and maintenance of Ellis Island.
A Taste of the Past Recipe Card Set
While I wish everyone would have the time and money to invest in an heirloom book preserving their family stories, I realize sometimes that’s not always possible. That’s why I created this one-of-a-kind family history themed recipe card set. It makes a thoughtful host(ess) gift, especially when paired with a bottle of wine, a surprising stocking stuffer come Christmas, or a birthday gift for the chef or family historian in your clan. Set includes 10 fold-over recipe cards with space for ingredients and preparation instructions as well as stories and memories associated with each dish; 10 extra blank cards; and bonus pages with tips for making the most of your A Taste of the Past recipe card set. $30 for set.
AN ARTFUL LEGACY
Need a special gift for an artistic soul (or even just an avid scrapbooker in your family)? Consider ordering a sketchbook so they can participate in The Sketchbook Project. Anyone can fill the sketchbook in any way they like—paint from your imagination, draw scenes from your everyday life, journal about your past and your dreams, whatever strikes your fancy—and whatever you would like permanently archived and available to visitors at The Brooklyn Art Library and its global traveling sketchbook shows. The sketchbooks are catalogued and preserved for visitors to access at the Williamsburg brick-and-mortar location, or (for a bit more money) via the digital archive. “We do not believe in the statement ‘I’m not an artist.’ Because it doesn’t matter. Share your story, draw your stick figures, just own it,” says founder Steven Peterman. “We can promise you a lifelong commitment to keeping your artifact safe, while continuing to act as a time capsule for global creativity.” $30 for sketchbook; $65 for digitization and inclusion in the project’s digital library.
Life Story Links: November 19, 2019
A wealth of personal history news, from immigrant memoirs to Thanksgiving story sharing, from archives of the past to the value of writing and remembering.
How
Do I
Listen to others?
As if everyone were my Master
Speaking to me
His
Cherished
Last
Words.
—Hafiz, “How Do I Listen”
In the kitchen, Hightstown, New Jersey, 1938. Photographed by Dorothea Lange, Russell Lee, Carl Mydans, Arthur Rothstein for the Farm Security Administration. Photo courtesy Library of Congress.
Pass the Gravy, Tell a Tale
#THEGREATLISTEN 2019
Since 2015 when The Great Thanksgiving Listen was launched, thousands of Americans have recorded 100,000+ interviews, providing families with a priceless record of a loved one’s story for future generations to listen to and learn from. StoryCorps offers resources to help individuals and educators transform the holidays into a time of intergenerational sharing.
FOOD MEMORIES, PRESERVED
Launched in time for Thanksgiving host(ess) gift giving, these recipe card sets encourage families to record not only the ingredients and prep instructions for their favorite foods, but the stories behind them, as well.
A Case for Storytelling
GETTING RELATIVES TALKING
In “We’re Losing Generations of Family History Because We Don’t Share Our Stories,” California–based ghostwriter Rachael Rifkin shares her expertise for how to get kids, siblings, and parents talking.
FAMILY LORE
“Telling family stories about crazy Uncle Joe or other eccentric relatives is a favorite pastime when families gather for the holidays. But will squirming children or Instagram-obsessed teens bother to listen?” Yes, says research—and the impact is undeniably positive.
WRITING TO COPE
In The Lost Kitchen, an Alzheimer’s caregiver, Miriam Green, preserves memories of her mother through recipes and reflections. Green turned to writing, including recording family recipes, as a coping mechanism, and learned to enjoy “the present moments spent together.”
Preserving the Past, Uniquely
AN ARCHIVE OF CURIOSITIES & WONDERS
The Public Domain Review is “rocketing the oddities of the past into the present,” including galleries of historical artifacts and images as well as essays putting the various bits of ephemera it spotlights into context. A new book of collected essays is available for pre-order, too.
SAFEGUARDING FRAGILE MEMORY
In anticipation of seeing a screening of Who Will Write Our History at the 92nd Street Y tonight, I began reading up on the film and discovered a most unique historical treasure trove: UNESCO’s “Memory of the World,” which aims to preserve the documentary heritage of the world as a symbol of the collective memory of humanity (the 60,000 pages of eyewitness documentation of the Holocaust known as the Oyneg Shabes, on which the aforementioned film was based, is part of UNESCO’s archive).
HEIRLOOM ARTS
Portland–based personal historian Lisa Kagan announces a winter art workshop for women to “explore what resilience and renewal mean to you in the context of your personal journey.”
Recommended First Person Reads
MINE EYES HAVE SEEN…
“I started to wonder if I could ever give language to my grandmother’s memories across the generations between us. I began to doubt whether I could make my words bring to life all that she has seen, when I have never seen these things with my own eyes,” Julie Moon writes in this legacy-seeking piece.
FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Deirdre Bair, Samuel Beckett's biographer of record, recalls her first (long-delayed) meeting with the notoriously private author in this essay that makes me want to know more about their professional relationship over the next seven years; guess I’ll be checking out her latest book, Parisian Lives, which promises to “reveal secrets of the biographical art.” Listen to a brief excerpt from the audio book here:
ARTISAN OF WORDS
“We weave narratives as we weave cloth, and our words for them are bound together: text and textile share the same Latin root, textus, ‘that which is woven’,” Esther Rutter writes in “Making.”
...and a Few More Links
Eight inspiring immigrant memoirs from Celadon Books
California Camp Fire remembrance book shares “unified experience” of community.
Story Terrace relives their favorite revelations from TV’s Who Do You Think You Are?.
A family, a house, a city: The Yellow House, Sarah Broom’s memoir of New Orleans
Lest We Forget: Keep Their Stories Alive preserves WWI treasures and memories for a British digital archive.
Holocaust survivor and Oscar-winning producer of Schindler’s List dies at 87
Short Takes
Most thoughtful holiday host gift
Just in time for Thanksgiving: A Taste of the Past, a family history recipe card set for preserving not only family recipes, but the stories behind them.
My go-to host gift for dinner parties is a nice bottle of wine, something to be enjoyed communally around the table, hopefully over interesting conversation. I admit, though, it’s not the most original of ideas.
These days I upped my giving game, and I invite you to do the same: This A Taste of the Past recipe card set pairs nicely with that bottle of burgundy!
Introducing…
A Taste of the Past recipe card set
I cherish the few recipe cards I have in my mother’s and grandmother’s handwriting. The grease stains add a patina of love, and the crossed-out changes (organic butter instead of margarine?) tell a story of time passing.
But what if they could tell a fuller story? What if the waves of nostalgia that wash over you when you smell Nonna’s Sunday sauce simmering on the stove could be preserved, too?
Well, of course, those precious food memories can be preserved—and this unique recipe card set allows you to do so right alongside your recipes.
This recipe card set encourages you to tell the tales of your food memories and to record your family’s favorite recipes in the very same place, essentially creating a living heirloom that can be passed on and enjoyed for generations.
The cards, which when folded measure 4x6 inches and fit in most standard recipe boxes, include one side on which to write a dish’s ingredients and preparation instructions, and a reverse side for you to record memories associated with the dish. Is it a traditional holiday meal that your family has cooked for decades? Is it a new twist on a childhood favorite?
This family history themed recipe card set is the perfect place to record Mommy’s foolproof tahdig secret (patience!), Grandpa’s grilling guidance, and your own generation’s current favorites.
Included…
Bonus tips & ideas for capturing food memories
In addition to the recipe/memory cards, there are four bonus pages of easy tips and tricks for
getting your family members involved in recording recipes and family stories,
what types of dishes and memories to include, and
how to most effectively encapsulate your stories in written form.
there’s still time…
Thanksgiving delivery within reach!
If you’re in the Northern New Jersey area, I'd love to meet you to hand-deliver a set of these cards (and hear how you plan to use them!!)—DM me on Instagram or send me a quick note!!
For everyone else, the recipe card set is available for shipping now, and I’ve made sure to launch the product just in time for Thanksgiving gifting (they make a thoughtful stocking stuffer in December, too!). Click the image below for full product details, or add it to you cart directly.
Our recipe card set goes above and beyond capturing ingredients and cooking instructions for your family’s favorite foods. Open the cards to reveal space to record your memories of these foods!
Is it a recipe handed down through generations on your mom’s side? Was it your child’s go-to meal as a toddler? Does the smell remind you of Thanksgivings past, Nanna’s kitchen, or early memories in a special home?
Preserve your family recipes and all the precious stories they call forth.
I can’t wait to see the memories and family recipes you capture on these cards—I hope you will share!!
Life Story Links: November 5, 2019
A virtual tour of what's worth reading this week about memoir, family history writing, and life story preservation, including how language impacts meaning.
“This has always been one of the cardinal problems of biography: to what extent can or should one tell the truth—and what, indeed, is the truth about any of us?”
—Iris Origo
Children playing on a front lawn in Washington, D.C., September 1935. Photographed by Carl Mydans, courtesy Office of War Information, Overseas Picture Division, via Library of Congress.
Foods of the Soul
THE LAST LAUGH
Over at The Family Narrative Project, Kim Winslow shares some flavorful tidbits from a relative’s repertoire—just remember to imagine Nana’s heavy Brooklyn accent, too.
“A CATHARTIC DINNER PARTY”
“Food can be such a lovely way into the heart of a story…. There's something about the sensory memories that really can pull us back into our childhood, or things we ate in times of celebration, or times of grief,” says Natalie Eve Garrett, editor of Eat Joy: Stories & Comfort Food from 31 Celebrated Writers, a book of personal essays, each paired with the “gift” of an associated recipe.
Matters of Memoir…
AN END-OF-YEAR-LIST TO BOOKMARK
Did your favorite make the cut in this list of the best memoirs of the past decade? I found my next few reads on the list, and enjoyed the critics’ comments on what distinguished each one.
MOTHER TONGUE
“It was my way of saying, ‘Yes, I know I’m married to English now, but Spanish was my first love.’” Reyna Grande on translating her own memoir into Spanish.
…Matters of Memory
VR REMINISCENCE THERAPY
When an eldercare team used Google Earth and virtual reality technology to ‘bring’ a patient with dementia back to her hometown in Sweden, the results were extraordinary: “She lit up with joy. She was smiling and pointing at the images. She started talking in her native language as she was touring us through the building.”
LIKE A SCRAPBOOK?
When I describe what I do to new friends, there is almost inevitably an excited reaction of, “How great, I never heard of that!” followed by genuine interest and lots of questions. One of the most common misassumptions is that I create photo books or scrapbooks for folks—so I decided to tackle that in last week’s blog post.
BLACK IN THE DAY
“The documentation of everyday moments and rituals led by Black British photographers allows us to look into the communities across the UK in a way that centers just being, rather than aiming to appease a white, mainstream gaze that often projects its own ideas of Blackness.”
All Is Not Lost
RADICAL EULOGY
“I have chosen to honor my family but also to honor my own experience as well—reconciling our differences and needs,” poet Diana Khoi Nguyen says about writing about her grief in the aftermath of her brother’s suicide.
SLAVERY, THE ORIGINAL IDENTITY THEFT
“To honor the memory, sacrifice, and very being of our ancestors, we say their name.” One woman feels called by her forebears to unearth her African American origins. Follow her journey.
...and a Few More Links
An excerpt from Still Here: The Madcap, Nervy, Singular Life of Elaine Stritch
Holocaust Museum honors Westchester woman whose documentary tells of grandfather’s survival
Shining a light on book arts in DC
Kinship is celebrating New York History Month with a discount on their NY genealogy books.
Patricia Highsmith’s private diaries to be published as a book
Cookbooks as memoir-like “souvenirs of experience”
Short Takes
The spirit of scrapbooking, elevated
While scrapbooking & personal history share a goal of preserving family memories, key differences include the approach to storytelling and the finished products.
When I was a kid I kept a scrapbook. It was filled with headlines either written in bubble letters or cut out from magazines to accompany photos and mementos of my school achievements, family milestones, and vacations. It was a labor of love, and even from the age of about seven I was conscious of actively creating something tangible to honor my experiences and soon-to-be memories.
These days the practice of scrapbooking has gone high-tech, with ready-to-download digital templates and easy-to-use book-making software. It’s big business. But the underlying motivation is still the same.
“Our mission is all about celebrating the vibrant and colorful threads of life...be it the joy of a wedding or a beautifully lucid moment with a parent or spouse suffering dementia,” says John Falle, owner of scrapbooking behemoth Creative Memories. “All are worth sharing, remembering, cherishing. What we do matters. A lot!”
Scrapbookers are often the de facto family historians in their circle. They are concerned with preserving memories, and ensuring that memories accompany photographs.
Occasionally, when I briefly introduce myself to new people who ask what I do, they jump to the conclusion that what I do is create scrapbooks for people. In a sense, yes…but in most ways, no.
A page from my mother’s amateur yet heartfelt scrapbook, including her school report cards from the 1950s.
How are personal history books different from scrapbooks?
Ah, let me count the ways…
Immediate vs. Reflective
Scrapbooking is often done on a regular basis, be it weekly or monthly, yielding a continuous flow of memories, generally chronological. Even when memories are shared thematically, they are usually done so in real time, not looking back from a distance.
Personal history is usually undertaken in a reflective way, an individual looking back on the currents of their life from a vantage point of age and experience. A personal historian such as myself helps discover the narrative threads that weave the story together, revealing meaning and layers of depth.
DIY vs. Bespoke
Scrapbooking is a DIY endeavor. Although people often engage in scrapbooking communally (whether through clubs or within a family or group of friends), the memories flow from one person’s mind onto the page.
Personal history is usually done in conjunction with a professional storyteller. We may call ourselves personal historians, personal biographers, editors, ghostwriters, or memoir coaches. No matter the name, though, we have in common the goal of helping clients dive deeper into their memories. Through one-on-one interviews and guided reminiscence, we empower individuals to tap into their experiences and illuminate their journeys.
Finished Products
With the advent of digital scrapbooking, the design and output of scrapbooks has become more and more sophisticated. Scrapbooks tend to be dominated not only by photographs but the inclusion of ephemera such as menus, place cards, and tickets, bits and baubles that add texture and a sense of nostalgia to the bearer’s memories. They are often output on home printers or saved to a digital scrapbook that continues to evolve.
While mementos of the same kind may be included in personal history books, they are design elements that help set a tone for a particular time period or life experience, and do not typically dominate a layout. Heirloom books created by personal biographers (also referred to as family history books, personal memoirs or personal histories, and life story books) are most often designed akin to a narrative book, with a table of contents, foot lines and folios, and the like, and are traditionally printed and bound.
Images and reproductions of mementos are used as design elements in personal history books, just as they are in scrapbooks, but the focus is on refined storytelling, and the final product is a professionally bound book designed to stand the test of time.
How are personal history books similar to scrapbooks?
The journey is as important as the end product. Story sharing can be healing or cathartic; it can help us identify patterns and change our life narrative even as we are living it. It is a gift to be heard, as well as to bear witness to another’s life stories.
Memories and family stories are valued enough to preserve for the next generation. Both a scrapbooker and a family biographer can undoubtedly envision their children (and maybe their children’s children) sitting on a couch flipping through the pages of a book, listening to an elder share their stories and create family lore.
If you enjoy scrapbooking, does that mean personal history is (or is not) a good idea for you?
If you are a scrapbooker, we share a nostalgic soul and genuine respect for the past. And, if you are a scrapbooker, you have already taken steps to preserve your memories (congrats!).
You are a scrapbooker who has a need for a personal historian if:
You want to capture stories of another family member besides yourself, and you don’t have time or inclination to interview that family member and help them curate their photographs.
You want to use your years’ worth of scrapbooks as memory prompts for telling a more cohesive story and preserving it professionally.
Does this describe you? Consider reaching out to me to see how we might be able to work together to take your scrapbook(s) to the next level, for you or for a loved one.
Life Story Links: October 23, 2019
Best practices for preserving family history materials, nuances of memoir writing, the value of connection, and stories transported through time and letters.
“Stories of grief, stories of war, stories of love and loss and heartbreak, they’ve all been told. There is no new story under the sun. But every single telling of a story is its own individual snowflake of a story, always.”
—Dani Shapiro
Photograph by Toni Frissell: Five Women, originally published in Vogue, August 1935, courtesy Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division.
Connecting the Past…
“DEAR FRIEND,” BERLIN, 1934
Lisa Lombardi O’Reilly, a personal historian in Carpinteria, California, discovered an old pen pal letter her grandmother had stashed away, and in it a glimpse into how history touches us all.
ARCHIVING YOUR FAMILY HISTORY
As a presenter at the Virtual Genealogy 2019 Conference (coming to your computer or mobile device November 1–3) Denise May Levenick will discuss best practices in caring for your family photos, papers, and memorabilia in “Preserving the Past: Archiving and Digitizing Your Family Keepsakes.”
…and Our Present
THE TRUTH ABOUT ANY OF US
“We can hang mirrors, as Virginia Woolf advised, at every corner—we can look at our subject’s face at every angle and in every light.... But never, never, can we see enough,” Iris Origo muses about the nature of biography and truth in this excerpt from Images and Shadows: Part of a Life.
RX FOR CONNECTION
Preoccupied with the idea of "the loneliness epidemic," I have been immersing myself in media that prompts genuine connection. Here, a few book and podcast recommendations to inspire face-to-face communication.
FROM THE BEYOND
“Parents tell their children complicating facts in dribs and drabs, if at all. Sometimes, they do so judiciously, meaning they’re ready for the ensuing questions a disquieting bit of family history will stir.” Oscar Villalon on the many ghosts we call family.
...and a Few More Links
Nnedi Okorafor on narrating her memoir
Elton John’s new memoir, simply entitled Me, is called ““hilariously self-lacerating.”
In the recently re-opened MoMA, home movies take center stage in “Private Lives Public Spaces.”
When real-life people and details inform a “fictional” narrative
Short Takes
Piercing the “loneliness epidemic” with genuine connection
Preoccupied with the idea of "the loneliness epidemic," I have been immersing myself in media that prompts genuine connection, including books and podcasts.
“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
—Stephen Covey
I am preoccupied with the idea that we are losing connections with one another—genuine, human connections that result from authentic interactions, curiosity, and actual prolonged attention.
Somehow the phrase “loneliness epidemic” had eluded me—that is, until last week, when I heard or read the phrase in multiple places in quick succession. Hearing it—and the conversations that the idea sparked—make me think that, certainly, there is something to be concerned about.
I had the pleasure of seeing Ron Howard (bottom right) interview longtime film producing partner Brian Grazer (bottom left) about his latest book, Face to Face, at the 92nd Street Y in Manhattan last month. See a replay video here.. Read more about the book below.
The Power of Connecting
Did you know that more than half of all Americans identify as “lonely”? Have you ever felt isolated, despite being “connected” to hundreds of Facebook friends and followed by countless more on Instagram?
It seems to me that the days when people pick up the phone just to chat indefinitely are gone. Ever-present cell phones, caller ID, and our overly-busy lives have relegated phone conversations, often, to transactions—quick convos to arrange meetings or elaborate on a text. Sure, perhaps that’s a generalization, but an impromptu poll of friends and acquaintances bears this out. The oft-cited exception: Many adults, blessedly, still speak on the phone regularly and at length to their parents.
The thread that binds the many “solutions” to our loneliness epidemic? Connection, pure and simple.
Recommendations to Inspire In-Person Connection
I know that for many, particularly elderly individuals who live on their own, finding people with whom to connect is a daunting challenge. But for many of us, we are not connecting deeply even with those with whom we live.
This is not a prescriptive post, but if you are feeling similarly, you might want to explore the idea further with a few of these books and podcasts. While they may not provide a genuine in-person connection, they will inspire and offer up a likeminded community of souls in search of regular connection!
And while it may take a few minutes to gather up your courage to dial the phone, consider reaching out to someone you love just because—no quick question needing an answer, no appointment needing to be made, just a genuine desire to listen and connect. You’ll be giving both of you a beautiful gift.
BOOK
Face to Face: The Art of Human Connection by Brian Grazer (Simon & Schuster, 2019)
Brian Grazer (the prolific, award-winning film and TV producer) has written a book on the subject of connecting, Face to Face: The Art of Human Connection. “I would venture to say,” he writes, “that people today are starving for genuine relationships, a sense of belonging, and the feeling of being known and understood.”
I see this every day in my personal life and my business. Certainly, I myself feel lonely at times and crave deeper conversation on a regular basis, and I hear this echoed in networking groups, among fellow parents cheering our kids along the sidelines, and even in the media.
In his latest book, Grazer offers up anecdotes from his impressive film career as he makes connections across the globe. He is an engaging storyteller and especially in tune with his ability to bridge divides, and to listen to others with purpose and genuine attention. He argues that we are missing an essential piece of the human experience, and that “disrupting your comfort zone can lead to the most unexpectedly beautiful connections in our lives…. If I’m not stepping outside my comfort zone—as often as possible—then I’m holding myself back from opportunities to learn, grow, and see the world differently through the eyes of others.”
All it takes, Grazer says, is the “curiosity and courage to initiate engagement with another human being, and the willingness to listen and learn with an open mind.”
PODCAST SERIES
Meaningful Conversations with Maria Shriver
From the description for this new podcast series: “Through intimate, thought-provoking conversations with friends and other individuals she respects and admires, Maria dives into issues like love, pain, forgiveness, gratitude, family, faith, connection, loneliness, the art of self-reinvention, and more to inspire you to reflect on your own life and have more meaningful conversations with the people you love.”
That’s the rub, in my opinion: Listening in on her intimate conversations makes me want to have more of my own.
Pick one that intrigues you, or just listen to an episode at random to discover something entirely new: She discusses family life, evolving as a person, and friendship with Rob Lowe; radical kinship with Father Greg Boyle; the power of vulnerability with Brené Brown; and how to build meaningful relationships—and the value of simply being present—with Hoda Kotbe. The beauty of Shriver’s series, I feel, is the level of intimacy she establishes early (many guests are her friends, but for those who are not, Shriver’s clear desire to connect and listen sans judgment sets a tone conducive to sharing).
PODCAST EPISODE
The Time Ferris Show: Lisa Ling — Exploring Subcultures, Learning to Feel, and Changing Perception (#388)
“It requires time and energy to get invested in other people’s stories, but I do in my heart of hearts believe that you emerge a better and smarter human as a result of taking that time,” Lisa Ling says in the episode, which spans a wide range of topics including her career in television journalism, her personal relationship with her mother (and how it was transformed when they traveled together to Taiwan), her favorite books, and so much more.
Ling describes how her traditional Asian-American family wasn’t particularly communicative, and that it wasn’t until she began to ask her mother questions about her youth that they began to speak about emotions and genuinely connect. Ferriss asks what Lisa did to lay the groundwork that allowed her mother to finally share her story for the first time, and they both urge listeners who have difficult relationships with their parents to similarly connect.
Learning more about her mother’s childhood and backstory and sharing intimate moments with her “ignited this empathy thing,” as Ling describes, and has valuably informed her approach to storytelling—and fundamentally improved her quality of life.