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6 tips for choosing the best family photos to use as writing prompts
Family photos can be useful tools to jog memories and call forth stories. We share how to determine which images will elicit the best family stories.
There are no rules for how to choose a photo that will be effective as a biographical writing prompt, but we can offer a few guidelines for the types of images that often elicit storytelling that is deeper and more meaningful than a mere identifying caption.
That’s the goal, after all: To use a photo as a starting point for your storytelling—as a jumping off point for memories, a touchstone for emotions, a lead-in to a narrative from your life.
So get out your old family photo albums or that dusty box of print photographs from the basement! Then…
Step One: Choose 10-20 pictures to start with.
Begin randomly looking at photos.
Rather than focusing on those that are frame-worthy, look for photos that elicit a strong feeling from the viewer (you, or the family member from whom you would like to capture stories).
Set aside 10-20 images that stopped you in your tracks in number two (even if you stopped to wonder about the image as opposed to reliving memories as a result of looking at it; sometimes it’s the mysteries behind a photo that draw forth particularly revelatory stories).
Now it’s time to choose a photo with which to begin your reminiscing. Whether you are using the photo as a writing prompt or as a vehicle to jump-start conversation in a personal history interview, the following suggestions will be helpful in selecting images that lead to substantial storytelling.
“Photos reveal themselves in layers,” Maureen Taylor (aka ‘The Photo Detective’) writes on her blog. “You study the clues and talk to family but every time you look at it or show it off to family you might learn something new. One thing leads to another.”
Step Two: Determine if the photo is story-worthy,
Ask yourself if the photo you are holding does any of the following six things—and if the answer to one or more of them is yes, then you’ve got yourself a winner. Set it aside and make sure it’s on hand the next time you want to delve into some family history writing!
The photo invokes an emotional response.
Do you feel a rush of excitement or a flush of scarlet creep up your face when you first spy the picture? It may make you feel anguish or sorrow, pride or exasperation, abundant joy or abiding love—the key is, it makes you feel.
If a family photo has such a visceral effect on you, this will be most fruitful for writing its story.
“Photographs are about one specific second, but they can also be about the future,” Beth Kephart writes in The Quest for Truth. “Photographs can operate as metaphor and counterweight, as tease and opposition, as the other half of a parenthesis.”
That photo that moves you is a doorway to your past that is clearly connected to your present in some way. Explore why you feel the way you do, and how this feeling fits into your life then and now. Provide context for your feelings; set the scene.
The picture tells a visual story.
Sometimes a picture itself already reveals a story: If the who, what, where, when, and why (or most of those) are apparent just from looking at the photo, then it’s likely a good candidate for embellishing upon. Of course, it’s ideal to choose images whose stories matter to you in some way.
The snapshot of this woman breastfeeding certainly tells a story about who she was as a mother—and if the mores of the time period and the town are known, and her character as well, then the storyteller can dive deep. A grown child looking at this image might use it as a jumping-off point for talking about their relationship over the years; or perhaps how their mom was part of a strong line of women before her; maybe she was only able to have one child, or 10, or only girls…
A photo is a moment in time, but on the periphery are details that help make up its narrative. What photo would have been shot just before this one? Just after? What’s in the frame? What (and notably who) is not in the frame? By starting with a picture whose story seems readily available, we can develop depth by asking such probing questions and tapping our memories for more.
Details draw your attention.
Your facial expression at the time the picture was snapped. The pattern of your grandmother’s well-worn house dress. A missing button on your dad’s shirt, or the papers falling from his briefcase. The water stain on the bedroom wallpaper. If some detail in a photo draws your eye again and again, there is more to be probed.
What does the detail begin to tell you? What beyond the frame of the photo—on that day, or a decade before or after the photo was taken—makes you focus on it? By taking the time to meditate upon all that the detail calls forth in your mind, you will reveal a greater meaning to this photo than could ever be revealed upon initial inspection.
The photo portrays part of the subject’s everyday world.
My favorite type of modern family pictures could be described as documentary family photography: people in their natural environment, doing what they do every day. (Check out talented photographer Jen Grima’s work for inspiration.) I love capturing our routine family narrative this way because the resulting photos are so evocative of time and place, and they set us in scenes that are real and personal, uniquely ours.
Many old family photos do so less consciously, perhaps, but the impact is the same. We are drawn to such pictures because they reveal what our or our ancestor’s life was like back then. So if a snapshot of your aunt holding you while she’s hanging the laundry crosses your path, use it to tell a story. If you find a picture of grandpa reading in his favorite recliner, dad trimming the hedges at your childhood home, or your baby crawling amidst the messy remnants of Christmas wrapping paper, use them all—find their stories.
The image intrigues you.
Is it a curious shot? Out of the ordinary for your family or for the time period? Is someone missing who you would have expected to be present in that scene?
If it makes you wonder, then it very well may lead to a worthwhile story. Perhaps you end up asking for relatives’ input to get to the bottom of your intrigue, or maybe in lieu of concrete answers you surmise the story behind the old photo, thereby revealing a narrative of your own in relation to the photo. Chances are, whatever your approach the resulting observations will be as alluring to the next person as the original photograph was to you.
The physical print tells its own story.
My grandmother had a tendency to hold a grudge, so it was not too surprising to find among her things photos that had an individual literally cut out of the scene (or crossed out with ballpoint pen). Now there’s a story to be revealed! The same could be said for pictures that have been torn, damaged by flood or fire, or found tucked away in a book.
Sometimes getting to the story behind the photo is as fun—and constructive—as getting to the story that resides within it.
Step 3: Start sharing your stories.
Read more about how to use old family photos as biographical writing prompts—we’re talking nitty-gritty advice, from where to begin after looking at the photo to how to capture your memories.
Download the advice in a handy printer-friendly booklet here, entitled “How to Use Photographs as Prompts for Writing Life Stories.”
Explore more intense self-reflective writing prompts in Beth Kephart’s memoir writing workbook.
Once you’ve written your first life story vignette, consider doing something special with it—we’ve got five easy ideas.
Genealogists reveal why your stories matter
The most memorable quotes and takeaways from family history experts Amy Johnson Crow, Curt B. Witcher, Scott Fisher, and Janet Hovorka at RootsTech 2019.
I wasn’t at RootsTech 2019 last month, but I did take advantage of the free videos that were available for live streaming during the event and are accessible even now on the RootsTech website.
Since we’re all about life stories and personal history around here, I decided to offer up a few of my favorite takeaways related to those topics from four speakers. If they whet your appetite for more, you can always watch the full videos of these speakers and discover others focused on genealogical research, DNA testing, and online record searches.
From Why and How to Put Yourself into Your Family History
AMY JOHNSON CROW
Favorite quotes from Amy Johnson Crow, a Certified Genealogist with more than 20 years of experience helping people discover their family's history:
Author and speaker Amy Johnson Crow presenting at RootsTech 2019
“When we consider recording our own stories, we think of memoirs that we have read… And when we think about writing our own stories, well, if we’re thinking of something like Angela’s Ashes or Little House on the Prairie, our first reaction might be, well, I’m not famous. Why should I record my story?”
I’ve got a whole list of reasons you should record your story, as does Amy:
“Think about how thrilled you would be if you found a diary from one of your ancestors. Or a letter from one of your ancestors.”
(Even if it described an ordinary day doing ordinary things, like a trip to the market!)
“I think that you would treasure that letter because it would be insight into the life of that ancestor, told by that ancestor.”
Indeed!
“So why do we think that future generations, oh they won’t care about me!? We already know that we care about what happened in the past. We need to be the ancestors to our descendants that we wish our ancestors were. We need to record more of our stories like we wish that they did.”
Can I get an amen?!
“Don’t get hung up on the format, because really, any format will do. … You have to record the story—that’s the important thing. You can figure out the preservation later. You have to tell the story before you can preserve it. And truly, a story isn’t a story until it’s been told.”
So, tell your stories! And remember:
“It doesn’t have to be overwhelming. It doesn’t have to be about all the big things in your life. There is no story that is too small to be recorded.”
CURT B. WITCHER
Highlights from Curt B. Witcher, Genealogy Center Manager at Allen County Public Library in Fort Wayne, Indiana:
Genealogy expert Curt B. Witcher during his presentation at RootsTech 2019
“Family history is the pursuit of, and the presentation of, and the preservation of our stories.”
“The grand and the big and the exciting and the wonderful—that’s not it. It’s the point in time, and the person in time, and how it relates to us.”
After reiterating some of what Amy Johnson Crow spoke about, Curt transitioned to talking about the science behind story and why it is so important:
“Experiencing story alters our neurological processes.”
He is not a scientist, but he is eager to shed light on how amazing much of the science behind story really is—from triggering the release of cortisol (which commands our attention) to the eventual release of oxytocin (which he says “makes us more receptive to empathy, to caring”). If you are interested in this, I suggest watching Curt’s entire portion of the video, which begins at the 20-minute mark.
Want happy children?
“Family story is critical to all of us being better human beings, but especially for younger people as their brains are being developed.”
“Stories, psychologists and scientists tell us, are strong predictors of a child’s happiness. The more stories, the better adjusted, the better a child will grow and be welcomed and welcoming. How can we not think that this is important?”
Is there anyone among us who does not?!
SCOTT FISHER
And lastly, the best tidbit of advice from Scott Fisher, host of podcast Extreme Genes, America’s Family History Show, who spoke concretely about how to turn oneself into a family history reporter:
“Do not answer questions for your subject. If they’re taking a long pause, let them think. Don’t be afraid of the silence.”
Ah, yes, be patient, and listen generously!
From Heirloom, Documentation, or Junk: What to Keep or Toss
Janet Hovorka
Memorable moments from Janet Hovorka, genealogy coach and development director for Family ChartMasters:
Genealogy coach Janet Hovorka speaking at RootsTech 2019.
“When you keep everything, it might be overwhelming to the next generation… After your passing, your family could throw everything out just because they’re overwhelmed.”
Imagine?!
Janet offers up six concrete questions to ask yourself about your family history stuff in trying to decide whether (and how) to save it or to toss it. If this is something you are facing, whether due to the recent loss of a loved one or to the ever-expanding hoards of your own family history documentation, then definitely give her video your full attention.
Here, though, a few golden nuggets:
“A family heirloom is only as valuable as the story that comes with it.”
Can I get another amen?
“An heirloom can only go down one line, really. But documentation, especially digitally, can be spread over the whole family.”
But remember:
“Digital materials can be more fragile than a set of china… You could be creating a Digital Dark Age in your family.” (caps mine ; )
Excellent advice:
“Think about a digital will, especially if you want to preserve you own life.”
Families, please hear what Janet says:
“In my opinion, one of the most important things to do is to teach your children and vest them in [your family history] now…. Tell them the stories. Vest them in those heirlooms and those documents. A family that is vested in those things is going to preserve them.”
Because…
“Never in the history of the world have we been so disjointed and so anxious… We move away from our ancestors more than families ever have. We don’t grow up at grandma’s knees anymore.”
Facebook and FaceTime may bring us closer to far-flung relatives, but it’s no substitute for in person togetherness and for regular story sharing—especially of the impromptu kind.
“Talk to the next generation.”
Please.
“As you study the span of a life, you learn that everybody has a little bit of hero and a little bit of scoundrel in them.”
Which part of your story will you tell first, I wonder…?
Sharing is good
Print and share your family photos with loved ones. Besides generating conversation, you will spark joy, find genealogy clues, and discover even more treasures.
“Sharing is good.“ This childhood lesson is applicable in all areas of life, of course, but today I want to encourage sharing of your family photos.
It’s been written about ad nauseum in recent years: Our digital photo scrolls are out of control…we need to stop taking so many pictures and live in the moment…we never print our pictures anymore.
While I agree wholeheartedly with each of these lamentable statements, it’s the lack of printed photos that troubles me most—specifically, the sense of connection and excitement that gets lost when we neglect to print our photos, and share them in person.
In person, I say.
It’s temporarily gratifying to get lots of likes on an Instagram share, to see heart emojis galore on your Facebook post. But the joy that results from sharing a memory in person—well, that simply can’t compare.
Why You Should Share Your Photos
A family photo holds a story. It is a font of memories, frozen in one still frame.
Amazingly enough, the story shifts with each participant: Your mom, maybe, who took the photo, remembers things just a bit differently than you do; and your sister, a few years older, recalls things from an entirely different perspective. What about your baby brother, who only saw this photo—and heard its associated stories—years later?
Like all stories derived from memories, truth is subjective. And while a photo seems to capture a scene exactly as it happened, well, that’s subjective, too. Can you say “conversation starter”?!
So besides sparking conversation, why should you share your photos—and your photo memories—with loved ones? Here are three compelling reasons:
1 - You share, they share.
It’s contagious. You show someone an old photo from your childhood, and they reciprocate with a shot they had in a drawer somewhere. You pull out your dad’s old scrapbook filled with family photos from his youth to spark conversation with your parents, and they reveal they have two more stored in the basement.
Sharing what you have encourages family members to share some of their own family treasures, too—and what could be better than that?
2 - You might learn something.
From a name scribbled on the back of an old photographic print or a comment made in passing by a family member to whom you are showing your photos, you just may discover something new: details or backstory that enrich your own experience of the picture; or perhaps a surname or location that helps with a genealogical search.
Just because your family elders have not shared such info before doesn’t mean they don’t know it—too often I hear, “Well, no one ever asked me.” So show…and ask!
3 - You’ll feel darn good.
Sharing the joy and love associated with your favorite family photos makes that joy grow. You get that altruistic benefit that comes from sharing of yourself—witnessing another’s enjoyment, and feeling your own heart swell.
Should you share your full adoption story?
Preserving the full story of your adoption journey may mean sharing some of the pain, too—but how much you include is a personal decision. We can guide you.
Adoptive parents recount memories of wishing and waiting and hoping for their children, but the truth is that the challenges often go well beyond a long wait. So, too, does the joy and fulfillment of adoption. Preserving the full story of your adoption journey may mean sharing some of the pain, too—but how much you include is a very personal decision. We can help you record your stories in a compassionate and meaningful way, preserving your adoption journey exactly how you want to.
When the adoption process is joyful, but not easy…
Your adoption story is worth preserving.
“Adopting one child won’t change the world; but for that one child, the world will change.”
World-changing. That’s what your family’s adoption story has been. And the story of something so profound should be preserved; should be accessible for your family as it matures and grows; should become an origin story so often revisited that it becomes family lore, an heirloom both physical and spiritual.
In a previous post we wrote about 9 Reasons Why Your Adoption Journey Is Worth Preserving. But just because your journey to parenthood was profound and joyful and life-changing, does not mean it was easy.
“I say to everybody: Adoption is not for the faint of heart.” —Mariska Hargitay
Children who were adopted experience feelings of loss, often grieving for the family they have lost and the world they knew before. Transitions to new schools, new homes, often a new country, can be unsettling, profoundly impacting a child’s sense of self. Adoptive children may have histories of trauma, or other types of special needs.
Adoptive parents may face great challenges—emotionally, psychologically, logistically.
Even the adoption process itself may be anything but smooth.
So where does that leave adoptive parents in chronicling their personal adoption journey? Do you include the good, the bad, and the ugly in an Adoption Journey book? Or do you focus on the positive and create an archive of the joys of newfound family, a historical record of how you adopted and how you became a family?
That is up to every family, and the answers may not be immediately clear.
Depending upon where you are in your adoption journey when you make your heirloom book, you may choose to include different things—in particular, different levels of reflection. An adoptive parent whose children are now older may have better perspective to help him talk about the more challenging times with an understanding and open heart. A parent who adopted a child only a year or two ago, on the other hand, may not yet be able to articulate how her own emotions or her child’s challenges are impacting their lives.
Consider what your family will want to remember.
An Adoption Journey book is a record of a milestone in your family's life. It is celebratory, without question, marking a family's reunion with their new child.
But, as with all personal history books we undertake at Modern Heirloom Books, we aim to tell your whole textured story—not every detail, but the experiences that shape and transform you. And, well, life is not all champagne and roses (despite what our Instagram feeds might proclaim!).
Consider that including some of the hard stuff in your book may be revelatory or healing for your children. It may remind you of the anxieties and pressures of the adoption process—but you persevered. Perhaps including glimpses into the struggles you and your children face as you continually evolve as a family will help you better appreciate the joys—and, research shows, it will help your children be more resilient.
What are we talking about here? Some of the more challenging aspects of the adoption journeys we have chronicled in the past include:
agencies that have lost accreditation mid-process
adopted children whose mourning process or transition to their new life was prolonged or painful
lost paperwork (redone only to be misfiled again)
lack of transparency throughout the process
financial, legal, or medical obstacles
We want you to cherish the triumphs, but to appreciate your full journey. That may mean alluding to one or two of your challenges such as these, or delving deeply into one of them that especially marked your family's journey—or rather, focusing exclusively on the good.
Our interviewers are compassionate listeners.
One of the benefits of creating an Adoption Journey Book with us is that you, the adoptive parent, are often able to work out what is best to include through discussions with your editor. Our personal historians have your best interest in mind at all times, and listening is a skill we take seriously. You may even request an interviewer who is an adoptive parent, too, if that makes you more comfortable.
You will recount your story through a series of hour-long interviews, and during those Q-and-A sessions we will hit upon things that may not be right to include. Our editor can make suggestions for ways to present difficult material; or if you simply realize some of the stories are off-limits, then we respect that, as well.
At all times, remember: This is YOUR story of adoption and family and love. We are there to help you tell it the best way possible.
Related Reading:
Why you should preserve your adoption journey in a book—9 compelling reasons!
Have another family story you would like to preserve in a book? Check out our Memories-in-the-Making offerings, our Legacy Books in honor of lost loved ones, and what makes a Modern Heirloom Book special.
No matter where you are in your adoption journey, now is the best time to act: Preserve your adoption story in an Adoption Journey heirloom book. Because you will cherish this story forever.
Experience RootsTech 2019 from the Comfort of Home
RootsTech 2019 offers opportunities for accessing the family history conference from home. Highlights, and how to get the most from your virtual experience.
RootsTech 2019 takes place in Salt Lake City, February 27–March 2, 2019—but if you can’t make it to Utah, you can experience much of the family history conference virtually.
Discover Your Story, Discover Yourself
“Discover Your Story. Discover Yourself.” So reads much of the literature promoting this year’s RootsTech conference. And while a majority of sessions focus on nitty-gritty genealogical exploration, there is plenty to learn about storytelling, family history interviews, and preservation of those stories through technology.
RootsTech is billed as “a global family history event where people of all ages learn to discover, share, and celebrate their family connections across generations through technology.” And while there is much that can be experienced only at the Salt Palace Convention Center—such as the hundreds of exhibitors in the expo hall, one-on-one mentoring opportunities, and the serendipity of new connections forged through in-person meetings—the RootsTech team has provided ample opportunity for experiencing the event from the comfort of your home.
Free Streaming Schedule: Highlights
A full streaming schedule for RootsTech 2019 includes a detailed list of keynote speakers (including Diahan Southard and Kenyatta Berry) as well as breakout sessions that will be made available live during the conference.
Here are my top picks for those interested in family history storytelling and memory preservation:
Hear Them Sing! Social History and Family Narrative
11:00am GMT/ 1pm EST , Wednesday, February 27
Join Rebecca Whitman Koford as she discusses how the addition of social history enhances family narratives and clarifies the songs of our ancestors. She will discuss how to contextualize ancestors’ lives with social history research and use it to inspire others to want to know more about those who have passed.
“Jumping the Broom,” Oil, Inheritance, and African American Marriage in the South
3:00pm, Thursday, February 28
Kenyatta Berry will cover the tradition of jumping the broom, the informal marriage ceremony for the enslaved. Kenyatta will also share the story of her paternal ancestors in Arkansas and East Texas, as well as her methodology to uncover their pasts.
Why and How to Put Yourself into Your Family History
8:00am GMT / 10AM EST, Friday, March 1
In family history, it’s easy to overlook ourselves and the generations we know because we don’t feel like history! But you are a part of your family history. In this Power Hour, Curt Witcher, senior manager of the Genealogy Center, will show you why putting yourself into your family history is so important (along with the science to back it up). Amy Johnson Crow, author and host of the Generations Cafe podcast, will show you how you can include yourself without getting overwhelmed. Scott Fisher, host of the Extreme Genes radio show, will show you interview techniques to get more (and better) stories.
Trace the Story of Immigrant Ancestors in 3 Steps
8:00am GMT / 10AM EST, Saturday, March 2
Susan R. Miller, D. Joshua Taylor, and Frederick Wertz explore 3 key steps to unlocking the story of your immigrant ancestors with the New York Genealogical and Biographical Society.
Personally, I’ll also be watching a few of the other sessions, including The Silent Language of the Stones: Reading Gravestones through Symbols and Carvings on March 2nd (ancient symbols have always intrigued me!) and, if I have time, actress Patricia Heaton’s main stage keynote.
Which sessions have you placed in your own calendar?
The RootsTech Virtual Pass
In addition to the free live streaming detailed above, RootsTech also offers a paid option for a Virtual Pass that grants access to exclusive recorded sessions on demand. The videos will be edited (not available to stream live) and accessible for one full year beginning about two weeks after the conference has ended.
Considering my own recent road blocks uncovering my maternal line’s German roots, I am likely to spring for the $129 Virtual Pass; there are two breakout sessions included in the schedule that speak directly to German genealogy help.
One of the 18 genealogy sessions included in the Virtual Pass may be of particular interest to family history storytellers:
20 Hacks for Interviewing Almost Anyone, and Getting a Good Story
Have you ever gone to interview someone and could not get them to talk? Are they video shy? Are they reluctant to share? Do they have memory loss? Is their story a difficult one to tell? Personal historian Karen Morgan and speech-language pathologist Joanna Liddell share tips for quickly building a rapport with your subject. You will learn how to prepare for the interview, maximize the environment, put your subject at ease, use story prompts, listen actively, handle difficult topics, and discover how the role of an audience affects the stories the subject tells.
Check out the full schedule of Virtual Pass videos here.
I am not affiliated with RootsTech in any way. This roundup is intended as a recommendation based on my own insights and experiences for likeminded family history storytellers.
Is digital story sharing for you?
Want to record family stories? “There’s an app for that!” Undoubtedly, there is—but which one is right for you? My top picks for digital story sharing services
Want to record family stories? “There’s an app for that!” Undoubtedly, there is—but will you use it, or will it sit unopened on the last page of your device’s scroll?
If you and your family members are more inclined to take action with tech tools as opposed to pen and paper, here are my top picks for digital story sharing services:
StoryWorth
Who it’s right for:
Connected grandparents, multi-generational families separated by distance
How it works:
With a StoryWorth subscription, users are emailed once a week with prompts to answer a question based on their life experiences. The array of questions is vast and evocative, though users may always choose to answer a question they themselves craft.
Pros:
When a reply is input, answers are emailed to a preset list of people—so, as many family members and friends as you want to designate may receive your stories.
It’s a lot easier to type than it is to write things out longhand (remember those days?!), so users are more likely to get into a rhythm answering questions regularly online than they might otherwise be with an old-fashioned memory-prompt journal.
For individuals who may not have a computer or email address, or for whom typing may be difficult, StoryWorth also offers an audio plan with stories recorded over the phone (some restrictions apply).
Cons:
At the end of the year StoryWorth automatically crafts a black-and-white book of memories based on the subscriber’s responses—and while that’s great in theory (I’m all about preserving memories in a book, after all), there is no room for editing, personalization, or revision.
Also check out:
Two similar apps that are still in beta but look promising are Life Mapping (which “maps” your path through life) and iRememba (leave your legacy via “digital time capsules”).
Family Search Memories App
who it’s right for:
Genealogy fans & family historians
how it works:
Your family historian may already be registered on Family Search, but are they familiar with the Memories features? Users may upload photos, stories, documents, and audio recordings that add depth to the names on their family tree.
The Family Search Memories app displays stories in a gallery view, as shown, or in a list view to make finding specific entries easier.
pros:
The Family Search Memories app allows you to capture priceless family moments through photos and voice recordings on your phone, even when you don't have Internet access.
Family history is truly brought to life—and promises to genuinely capture the next generation’s imagination—when pictures and details exist, not just data and documents.
cons:
While FamilySearch vows to “store your precious moments free forever,” the fact remains that it is a business, and businesses—especially tech businesses—can change (or cease to exist) over time. (Don’t let this app or “the Cloud” be your only means of storing your photos and stories, please.)
Regular Old Email
WHO it’s right for:
The less tech-savvy elders in your family, or those who might prefer to write but are hampered by arthritis or other physical debilitations
how it works:
The art of letter-writing may be dead, but that doesn’t mean long-term correspondence need be, as well. Begin a regular correspondence with a loved one that goes beyond cat memes and dinner dates: Set some ground rules (“let’s explore your past, Mom,” or “I’d love to know more about your college and war years, Dad”) and timeline (at least once per week, perhaps) and start sharing notes.
I was especially inspired by journalist Anderson Cooper, who undertook a year-long extended email conversation with his mother that resulted in a book—and that tapped into, as Cooper said, “not the mundane details, but the things that really matter, her experiences that I didn’t know about or fully understand…”
pros:
No subscription or monetary commitment is necessary. All you need is an email address and access to a computer (available at most local libraries if one is not accessible at home).
It can be easier to delve into difficult or emotional topics when not face-to-face with a loved one. And since correspondents may take some time to review what they have typed, they can be thoughtful about their story sharing.
We have become accustomed to typing, and can pour out our thoughts much more quickly than if we were writing on paper—so conversations may go longer, deeper, more quickly.
cons:
There is a disconnect when reading rather than hearing, and tone or inflection is lost on a screen. Participants must get to know one another’s writing style—and understand that sometimes an actual conversation should ensue to clear up any confusion or hurt feelings.
You may accrue a wonderful catalog of communications through an email correspondence, but the onus is on you to do something to preserve what you have gathered. Don’t let the stories—and the love and understanding that ensues—languish; contact us to help you turn your memories into an heirloom book, or consider simply printing them out (with dates) for the next generation to read and learn from.
5 Heirloom book ideas
Do you want to preserve your family stories, but have no idea where to start? We’ve got six special life story book ideas to spark your imagination.
Your legacy is your most precious family heirloom. Yet preserving the experiences and lessons that constitute that legacy can seem like a daunting undertaking—where to begin, which stories to tell?
If you want to preserve your family stories, but have no idea where to start, we’ve got five special life story book ideas to spark your imagination.
An heirloom book capturing the memories of one woman’s years spent in Greece, and her decision to return stateside with her newborn daughter. Remember—you don’t have to tell your whole life story. Pick a transformative experience from your life and tell that one story well!
1 - A Taste of the Past
Celebrate recipes that have been passed down through generations in a bespoke book that weaves your family’s cherished food memories with nostalgic photographs and handwritten recipes. Modern Heirloom Books’ secret ingredient to creating the perfect custom “cookbook”? Bringing the stories behind the food to life, so you’ll feel like you’re right back in Nonna’s anise-scented kitchen!
2 - Dear Daughter, on Your Wedding Day
One of our most popular signature products, this blue silk–covered gem is the surprise gift guaranteed to make your bride cry tears of joy on her wedding day! A book that looks back on the milestones of her life, from her baby years to her graduation, from her first words spoken to those you would like to share with her about her future...a book that will put the meaning back into the wedding planning process for you, her parents; and that she, on the cusp of the next chapter of her life, will cherish forever.
3 - A Life Well-Lived
Bring a family elder’s colorful stories to life in ways your children—and eventually their children—will want to revisit again and again. Through interviews, letters, and photographs, your loved one’s memories and wisdom will be captured in a bespoke book that will become your most cherished heirloom. Whose stories will you tell?
4 - Places in the Heart
Does your family vacation at the same Hamptons beach house or cabin in Maine every year? Has your home been passed down through generations and have its own story to tell? Maybe your kids are attending the sleep-away camp you did as a child—or they’re following in your college footsteps. This book makes your favorite place the central character and gives meaning to the phrase, “If these walls could talk…”
5 - Voyager
"The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page." You, dear traveler, are absorbing the world one trip at a time, discovering, experiencing, learning... Wherever your journeys take you (an African safari? The Maldives? the glaciers of Alaska?), our travel books help you not only remember the places, but relive the moments—and 'travel' back there from the comfort of your home.
The Possibilities are endless.
Hopefully the five sample books give you a sense of how to frame a story—how to thematically explore your memories so the resulting book truly becomes an heirloom worthy of your legacy. But remember, you don’t have to know how to proceed: That’s our job. With more than two decades’ worth of editorial experience, our specialty is transforming your stories from raw material into heirlooms.
What memories make you smile? What decisions from your lifetime put you—and your family—on an entirely new path? What lessons has your experience imparted that hold value for the next generation?
When we begin to explore those questions, we begin to hone in on the stories that are most important for you to preserve. Would you like to begin that conversation? I promise, once we begin, you won’t want to stop…
The investment for most Modern Heirloom Books starts at $7,000, with the exception of our tribute books, which start at $1,750. Lead times vary based upon the nature of the book, typically taking from three to 12 months to complete.
This post has been updated on October 21, 2025, to reflect the removal of one of our early products, the One-Hour Heirloom.
75 Questions to spark Christmas story sharing
Family history questions for Christmas: 75 open-ended, specific interview questions to elicit powerful memories & stories from the older generation.
Christmas and Hanukkah—or other holidays where extended family gathers in one place—is an optimal time to gather stories and memories via oral history interviews. There needn't be a lot of pressure: Simply turn on your smart phone’s voice recorder or set up a video camera on a tripod, then forget it’s there...and begin reminiscing.
The important thing is that you relax and let the stories flow. Don’t wait until next year or when everyone is available or any other “better time”—trust me when I say: Now is always the right time!
When family gathers at Christmas, use the opportunity to share stories and memories of days gone by—trust me, it’s as entertaining as it is valuable!
Personal history interview questions: Christmas edition
Use these questions merely as a guide or to give you ideas for questions of your own. The key to any good personal history interview is listening—so ask follow-up questions that genuinely interest you, and let the stories take their own paths...that is usually when the magic ensues!
FOOD
Is there a dish you always associate with Christmas Eve or Christmas day Do you know who has the recipe, and who originally cooked it for your family?
Did you or your family make cookies or other special desserts to share with neighbors during the holiday season? What about leaving food for Santa—and his reindeer?
Are there any foods, from the holiday season or year-round, that remind you of your heritage?
Did your parents make you eat anything you absolutely hated?
What food(s) do you associate with comfort? With the onset of winter?
Who made the cakes for birthdays in your home?
Do you recall any massive failures at cooking—a horrible dinner, burnt pie, missing ingredients?
Who taught you how to cook?
TRADITION
Did you hang Christmas stockings? By a fireplace, or somewhere else? Were they filled by Santa? Do you have any favorite memories of stocking stuffers?
Did anyone in your family or neighborhood dress up as Santa? Did you know it was them? Have you or anyone else in your family continued that tradition of playing Santa—and if so, how does it make you feel?
What traditions do you most fondly recall from your childhood?
Are there certain traditions that have persisted for generations in your family?
What traditions have you begun anew with your own nuclear family?
Is there a memorable gift you have given someone?
What is the best gift you have ever received?
ANTICIPATION
What time did you wake up on Christmas morning? Was it earlier than your parents? Did they make you wait before starting the festivities?
Do you recall the feeling of anticipation on Christmas Eve?
What other times in your life do you recall similar feelings of anticipation?
GIFTS
Did you (and your siblings/family members) want to rush through the gift giving? Was there a sense of order and gratitude opening gifts, or was it wrapping-paper mayhem?
Did you ever look for or find evidence of Santa?
Were there ever times when hardship made gift giving at the holidays challenging? How did that make you feel? Do you have a story from that time, or a lesson learned?
How were gifts wrapped?
Did you help pick out gifts for those you loved, or was it strictly a parent thing?
What types of gifts or cards can you recall having made by hand
as a child?
Do you remember how you felt when you discovered the truth about Santa? How old were you?
What is your most magical Christmas memory?
RELIGION
What religion, if any, is your family? Were you devout? Members of a congregation?
Was your church or temple community a central part of your life?
Did you go to church on Christmas morning? Midnight mass?
What memories of you have of those times?
Did/do you pray?
Are you spiritual? How does that manifest itself in your life?
HUGS
Was your family very affectionate? Describe how they showed love, or if you wished there was more physical affection.
Are you a hugger? How does it make you feel?
Who in your family gives/gave the best bear hugs? What is/was that person like?
Did you cuddle with your parents? Do you cuddle with your own children? Grandchildren? What does it mean to you?
Did you write letters to Santa? If so, where did you mail them? Did you ever hear back from the North Pole?
Do you recall getting Christmas cards during the holiday season?
Did your family draft a holiday letter (many people keep these as part of their family history archive—did you save any of them)?
SNOW
Where did you live when you were growing up? Did you generally have a white Christmas?
Do you remember the first time you saw snow?
What was your favorite snowtime activity—sledding (or did you have a toboggan?), making snow angels, snow balls fights? Or how about ice skating? Shoveling?
Do you recall snow days from school? Listening to the radio for announcements, or waiting for a parent to wake you up? How did you occupy yourself on snow days?
Did you build snowmen? What would you use for the nose and eyes?
HOME
What smells remind you of your childhood home?
What makes you feel most at home now, as an adult?
How do you describe home?
What was the address of your favorite home? Why was it your favorite?
Have you ever visited a home from long ago—how did it make you feel?
Did you move often while you were growing up? Did that affect your personality or self-esteem?
Free Christmas Questions Guide
Download all 75 questions in a handy printable booklet!
Give the most unique holiday gift!
Cherished memories last a lifetime—and beyond, if you preserve them.