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How to plan a life story book in 3 simple steps
These three simple steps will put you on the road to remembering, and make your life story book project proceed as efficiently and smoothly as possible.
The mere idea of creating a life story book is daunting. The notion of combing through boxes and devices full of photos, of writing (or even talking) about one’s life experiences—wait, will I even remember them??—and then organizing everything into some cohesive whole…phew. Forget it, there are dishes to do and movie marathons to binge.
Wait, what? Don’t forget it. Please.
If you know you want to leave a meaningful legacy in book form for the next generation but it scares the bejeezus out of you (or it’s simply not how you want to spend your time), let’s chat; as a personal historian with years of experience, I will guide you through the process—dare I say, even make it enjoyable.
If you are someone who is a little scared by the prospect but who still wants to tackle such a project on your own—congrats! And stick with me here, as I’ve got three simple steps to put you on the road to remembering, and to make your life story project proceed as efficiently and smoothly as possible.
3 broad steps to starting a life story book
Narrow down themes you would most like to address in your writing or interviews.
I will break out actionable steps and key things to consider for each of these in subsequent blog posts, but for now, a few quick hits:
1 - Organize your family archive.
I’m not talking about creating another huge project for yourself here (properly organizing all of your family papers and photographs could take months). What I am talking about is
creating an inventory of WHAT you have and WHERE you believe it resides (e.g., in a box in the basement or at your sister Susie’s house) and
identifying the key items in your archive that will help you with your project.
Help you how, you may be wondering? Designate photos and journals, for instance, that you anticipate will help jog your memories and spur you on to story sharing. Earmark genealogy papers that will be resources for creating your life timeline (step two, below) and be useful for fact-checking names, dates, and relationships later.
Hold onto this inventory, as it will be one of your primary tools when it’s time to dive into memoir writing or participating in personal history interviews.
2 - Write a life timeline.
Again, I won’t go into a complete how-to here, but I will say this: People don’t think chronologically; our memories come to us often unbidden, spurred by a scent in our grandmother’s kitchen or a scene in a novel we just read. A chronological framework of your life, though, will be a most useful tool in helping situate your memories in time and place.
Jot down years and major life milestones (decisions, employment, home moves, having children, etc.) in any format that works for you. That could be a document on your computer where you list the events in order with dates alongside, or a large piece of paper with handwritten notes broken up graphically into categories such as Childhood, Adolescence, Adulthood, and Golden Years.
Hold onto this timeline, as it will be another primary tool in your arsenal when it’s time to begin your life story project in earnest.
Click here to read a more in-depth guide to writing a life timeline.
3 - Narrow down themes you would most like to address in your writing or interviews.
Maybe you already know you want to cover only a sliver of your life in your book: your years in the military, say, or the profound transformation of becoming a parent. If so, you can skip this step.
If you are not yet sure which chapters of your life should become chapters in your book, then it’s time to brainstorm. Some questions to ask yourself:
What are the most impactful decisions I have ever made?
Are there times of struggle that serve as examples of resilience, or that hold other lessons?
What are the most joyful times of my life?
What have been the most challenging times of my life?
Is there anything about my career or vocation that is worth telling?
Who had the most impact on me growing up? As an adult? What did I learn from them?
What values do I most want to pass on to the next generation—and are there certain stories that exemplify those values?
Don’t edit yourself. Simply write everything that comes to mind when you think of “important chapters of my life.” You don’t have to decide now which musings will make it into the book—rather, these will serve as additional memory prompts, and some will have more resonance than others.
Hold onto this document of ideas, as it will be your final tool to have at the ready when your life story project gets underway.
Click here to read more about narrowing down themes for your life story book.
What’s next?
Now that you have your three pages of life story resources, it’s time to get into the business of remembering. How will you proceed? A few options to consider and tips to get you going:
If you are a writer:
Consider enrolling in one of my short courses to receive memory and writing prompts—as well as tips and inspiration—delivered straight to your phone. Current themes includes Childhood Memories and Food Memories, and more themes will be added soon.
Memory & writing prompts sent weekly to your phone
Short courses for anyone who wants to write about their life
If you would like to be interviewed to capture your stories:
If this all appeals but seems too daunting to take on yourself, please reach out. I would be honored to help guide you on this journey to create a legacy book capturing your stories for the next generation.
Life Story Links: June 2, 2020
Unique memory preservation methods including illustrated maps, birthday tributes & travel scrapbooks; plus memoir writing now, and a vintage Mary Karr interview.
“The people we most love do become a physical part of us, ingrained in our synapses, in the pathways where memories are created.”
—Meghan O’Rourke
Returning to Camp after a day’s fishing, Maine. Photograph courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library. (1898 - 1931).
All Ways of Remembering
TAKING CARE OF TRAVEL MEMORIES
“There’s no wrong way to scrapbook, and there needn’t be any rhyme or reason, aside from what resonates with you. Whether the order is chronological or geographical, the captions hyper-specific or non-existent, the finished product is unavoidably sentimental, a reflection of the way you lived while walking (or biking, or dog-sledding) out into the world.”
BIRTHDAY LOVE
When you want to cap off a milestone birthday party with a most meaningful gift, consider an heirloom birthday tribute book oozing with love and memories. Why tribute books are so popular right now.
A COLORFUL APPROACH
An illustrated map “can be a beautiful and highly personal reflection of a place you, friends and family know quite well. It can tell a story, a personal history, or be a unique lens through which one can experience a special place.”
DISPATCHES FROM THE BASEMENT
“Dad, I just want to say, thank you for helping get rid of this virus.” In this remote video, a son thanks his father, a doctor who has been isolating from his wife and four children to shield them from exposure to Covid-19:
Write It Out
WRITING YOUR HISTORY IN REAL TIME
“Sure, today’s youth may know that Jackie Robinson was the first African American to play in the MLB. But did they know that their grandfather got a black eye from a schoolyard fight when a classmate argued that ‘[African Americans] shouldn’t play baseball?’ That makes it real.” Virginia–based personal historian Karen Bender makes a case for keeping a Covid diary.
AN OLDIE BUT A GOODIE
“This is a simply stunning interview of Mary Karr from 2009,” Tim Ferriss writes. “I’ve read it multiple times, highlighted nearly every page, and saved my scans to Evernote. That’s how much goodness I think it contains. It’s also laugh-out-loud funny.”
PATCHWORK
“I wrote most of the essays as individual pieces so then it was the work of figuring out how they spoke to one another. I wanted to be aware of overlaps and gaps in the memoir arc, the narrative and consciously choose how I addressed them.” Sejal Shah on giving shape to her essay collection.
...and a Few More Links
How will we remember the pandemic? Museums are already deciding.
Anthony Bailey, memoirist and biographer of artists, died at 87.
Escape to the past with stories of NYC of old—including, perhaps, your own.
Michigan–based video biographers think now, “in the time of coronavirus,” is the perfect time to preserve your stories.
Short Takes
Your mom’s turning 70 and you STILL don’t know what to get her?
When you want to cap off a milestone birthday party with a most meaningful gift, consider an heirloom birthday tribute book oozing with love and memories.
Even if you can’t be together on her birthday (due to Covid or any other reason), family members can contribute from all over to create a tribute book honoring your mom on her milestone birthday.
I created tribute books to celebrate milestone birthdays of three well-loved, incredible women last month. One was the wife of my client, who was turning 80, and the couple lives in North Carolina. The other two were moms of separate clients, both celebrating their 60th birthdays and closer to my home in New Jersey.
While they were singular books with different design styles and wildly different approaches to the tributes within, the books had a few integral things in common:
They oozed with love for the recipients.
They told stories and shared remembrances that made me, a stranger, feel like I wanted to meet these folks!
They elicited happy tears—each one, from the gifter and the gifted.
I can’t convey how thrilled I feel when I get feedback like I did from these clients. Tribute books for happy occasions—milestone birthdays and anniversaries, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings—are such a joy to create, and the joy they engender in those who receive them is beyond compare.
What to get for the person who has everything? A beautiful bespoke tribute book, of course! This is a page from a recent book gifted to a woman on her 80th birthday.
The nitty gritty of creating a tribute gift book
I am always honored and privileged to help my clients gather, organize, and express their tributes for their honoree. And my clients are always a little shocked at how much can go into the process (you think Uncle Ernie will be the last to reply, but he sends his narrative in on day one…but then 10 others are missing, late, or incomplete, two others are missing photos, three others are illegible, and 24 others have photos way too small to reproduce in print!!).
Leaving the logistics to a professional ensures that
you don’t have to be bothered with nagging follow-ups
you don’t have to check and recheck photo resolution
you don’t have to give guidance on what to write and how to optimize images
you don’t have to sit in front of a computer screen for hours designing your book
you don’t have to worry that the book won’t print just-right.
All you have to do is take credit when you wrap and give the book to your loved one!
“Ann was ecstatic and we all had to fight back tears…
…watching her flip through the book.
We all hope we can pass something of value on to family and friends. The tribute book did just that for her. She shows the book off to whoever comes in the house.
You went far above and beyond anything that I could have ever imagined.” —Terry C.
Why tribute books are so popular right now
We’ve all been in that situation: We need a special gift for that someone who seems to have everything; but nothing seems special—or unique—enough.
A tribute book telling your loved one just how much they mean to you—and to your tribe—could not be more unique. The messages within are one-of-a-kind. And when crafted in an heirloom book, they become a welcome addition to your family history archive.
When most of our doorstep deliveries are for essential items and we continue to get excited about in-stock toilet paper; when we have spent more time physically separated from family members due to Covid-19 than we ever could have imagined; and when so many of us are getting back in touch with those things that matter most to us—family, connection, a sense of home and security—a gift from the heart resonates more than ever.
I always recommend (and ask for) experiential gifts—traveling together, an outing to the theater or a local garden, a family hike. Those are gifts that mean something, that spark memories and affection. But when a physical gift is in order—when you want to cap off the big birthday party with a memorable unveiling, and when you want to show—really show—your loved one HOW and WHY they are loved—then why not consider a tribute book?
Reach out to see how we can work together to bring your project to life. All it takes is a half-hour phone chat—no pressure, just some questions to help me understand what type of book you envision—and you could be on your way to giving the best gift you’ve ever given. Really!
“The process of sorting through 27 years of pictures…
…and mementos was joyfully reflective, but what brought it all together was Dawn’s vision. Her warm and engaging personality and ability to capture my feelings—and transform them into such a beautiful book—well, let’s just say that our Modern Heirloom exceeded every expectation!” —Susan M.
Life Story Links: May 19, 2020
For life story preservationists both professional & aspirational: actionable tips, inspirational biographical reads, memoir workshops, and video recommendations.
“Questions are open doors. They move you away from the stagnation of certainty into the openness of wonder.”
—Laraine Herring
As the school year comes to a close, this year in our homes, I am missing the sounds and sight of kids running around the school yard—hence the choice of this week’s vintage photo: Girls on playground, Harriet Island, St. Paul, Minnesota, 1905. Photograph courtesy Detroit Publishing Co., Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Washington, D.C.
Actionable Tips
FROM A DISTANCE
California-based personal historian Rachael Rifkin writes about how to interview family members while social distancing, via Family Tree magazine.
HONORING THE DECEASED
After helping many individuals gather memories and express their love for a family member who has passed away, I have gathered my top eight tips for creating your own tribute book in honor of a lost loved one.
‘EVENTUALLY’ IS HERE
“I’ve spent years collecting intimate interviews. Take it from me: A conversation about life’s big questions is the very definition of time well spent.” StoryCorps founder Dave Issay expresses what all us personal historians know: Now is (always) the time to ask your loved ones about their lives.
On Screens Now
THE ASIAN AMERICAN STORY
The PBS documentary series Asian Americans, which weaves the stories and images of real people…into the tapestry of history, “deserves attention for bringing under-appreciated history to life through the stories of Americans whose ancestral roots reach across the Pacific Ocean to the 48 countries of Asia,” says this review.
DIGITAL MUSEUM EXHIBIT
“Beyond Statistics: Living in a Pandemic” traces the stories of five former residents of The Tenement Museum’s buildings who lived with, and ultimately died from, contagious disease during three different eras. The digital exhibit uses visual storytelling, including an interactive timeline, to engage and add to the narratives.
REWIND
From PBS Independent Lens: “Made up of home video footage that reveals a long-kept secret, Sasha Joseph Neulinger’s Rewind is a brave and wrenching look at his childhood and his journey to reconcile his past. By probing the gap between image and reality, the film depicts both how little and how much a camera can capture.” Read a review here, and stream the documentary here. Trailer:
Writing Memoir & Life Stories
ARE YOU A DIY MEMOIRIST?
“You don’t need to have won the Nobel prize or invented sliced bread for your life to be worth recording,” writes Philadelpia–based personal historian Clemence Scouten. Here she helps you decide: Should you write your memoirs yourself or hire a service?
VIRTUAL MEMOIR WORKSHOPS, FROM A MASTER
Beth Kephart, award-winning memoirist and author of one of my favorite craft books, Handling the Truth, has announced that her Juncture Workshop Series will be going virtual. The monthly classes, which begin in June 2020, will offer “memoir writers and truth seekers original insights into craft and best-of literature, guided tours of the self, a chance to get percolating questions answered, and manuscript critiques.”
NO PLOTTING—FOR NOW
“The heart of your memoir—what it’s really about, and what will guide its shape—is best found by letting yourself suss out the emotional hot spots in memory and record the details before you define a story line,” Lisa Dale Norton writes in this piece about why it can be hampering to write a memoir outline too soon in your process.
First Person Reads & Short Biographical Writing
FROM HER PERSONAL REPERTOIRE
“When we have the ‘pandemic blues,’ it helps to reminisce about a tough time and how we got through,” writes Wisconsin–based personal historian Sarah White. A random comment on a trip long ago became her touchstone for resilience: “Cobblestones” tells the story of that moment.
THE TRANSFORMATION ARTIST
As part of their “Remarkable Lives” series of autobiographical posts, NYC’s Remarkable Life Memoirs turns the spotlight on a budding entrepreneur who tells her story of taking something disposable and transforming it into something beautiful, right in the middle of a pandemic hotspot.
RESILIENT ROOTS
“I remember my mother interviewing Nama for [her] history on her porch when I was about eight years old. I was mesmerized with Nama’s storytelling and the amazing life she had. But I never saw the depth of what she went through until recently.” Genealogist Janet Hovorka reads her great-grandmother’s personal history anew, with adult eyes.
“HISTORY FOUND YOU”
A graduation speech for the 2020 college grads who aren’t able to experience the milestone with all the pomp and circumstance it deserves, with reflections on the past, the present, and the bright future of this tested generation.
THE STONE COLLECTOR
Meet the stone collector of Iceland’s eastern coast: A. Kendra Greene gathers the history of a life. This lyrical read of an unexpected slice of life drew me in slowly, and made me want for more.
...and a Few More Links
Alcove: a virtual reality platform focused on family connection
How the thinnest paper in the world is used in historical conservation
What historians will see when they look back on the Covid-19 pandemic of 2020
Want to share a family immigration story with the Ellis Island Foundation?
“Diary of Our DNA”: How her mother’s photo albums evolved into a family history book
Chatbooks is giving a year of free photo books to babies born during the Covid-19 pandemic.
Moving photo portfolio: A day in the life of a Covid-19 I.C.U nurse
The “fabulous, forgotten life” of Vita Sackville-West
Short Takes
8 tips for creating your own tribute book in honor of a lost loved one
Writing a tribute book is a meaningful way to create a lasting legacy for a lost loved one. These expert tips from a personal historian will help.
Writing and designing a tribute book is a meaningful way to create a lasting legacy for a lost loved one.
After helping many individuals gather memories and express their love for a family member who has passed away, I have gathered my top eight tips for creating a tribute book on your own.
Remember: This is a labor of love. It may take some time, and you may get frustrated when you embark upon a part of the project with which you have no experience. That’s okay. Always think back to your why. Why you have decided to create this tribute book will motivate you to keep going, as I hope, too, will the advice that follows.
Top tips for gathering memories of a lost loved one:
Top tips for editing and designing a tribute book:
Click on any of the numbered items to go straight to that tip, or continue scrolling to read the whole story.
Gathering memories & tributes for your book
1 - It’s okay to be funny.
If your loved one was a vibrant and funny person in life, it stands to reason that tributes about them after their death should be infused with humor. It’s okay to step outside your grief and remember them with a smile, even a laugh. Happy memories provide comfort and help us heal, and will be a balm to the soul when you pull out this tribute book to visit with your lost loved one someday in the future.
2 - Be specific.
Be as specific as possible in your remembrances. This is the key to creating a moving tribute that holds meaning and calls the spirit of your loved one forth. Be heartfelt and open-hearted, and talk about distinct experiences you shared with the deceased. “That time Marc walked three miles to get Mom a cookie…” says so much more than “Marc was thoughtful”; “Deborah donned her Giants fan gear and ordered pizza from Sinapi’s every single Sunday” demonstrates her love of sports more than saying “Deborah was a Giants fan.” If everyone writes "Maria was a lovely person," it's not nearly as personal as saying WHY or sharing a story that illustrates the point!
3 - Be smart about gathering tributes from other people.
Chances are you won’t be the only person writing a tribute to your loved one who has passed away. Go ahead and ask family members, friends, work colleagues, and others to contribute to your tribute book. Ask for something concrete: “200-500 words about why you loved the person,” for example, or “please tell a story about a time they made you feel special.” Give contributors a deadline (even if you don’t need the book completed by a celebration of life or other event, choose a due date or you won’t get responses at all). Remember, too, that for some people, talking is easier than writing: If you think that may be the case for key family members, consider asking them to record their reminiscences, or record a conversation with them to capture their tributes, which you can type up later for the book.
4 - Include something in the deceased’s own words.
You don’t need to replicate full pages from their journal, but if you come across one or two things they have written that resonate, include them. Perhaps it’s a poem or a quote from a diary, a special letter to a family member, or even a handwritten recipe for that one comfort dish they always made. Hearing their voice come through in the pages of your tribute book will help keep their spirit alive.
Editing & designing your tribute book
1 - List relationships explicitly.
While it seems obvious to you as you’re creating a tribute book that the person you are honoring was your mother, someone else’s sister, friend, colleague…well, it won’t be so obvious in a few years’ time, and certainly not in a few decades. Make your tribute a lasting contribution to your family history archive. By providing full names and relationships to the person being honored, you ensure that the next generation may understand the bigger picture and get to know your deceased loved one more intimately.
2 - Include pictures—but not too many.
Will you include photos of the person being honored only? I recommend also including pictures of the people offering tributes. Alongside an individual’s quotes, include a photo of them with the deceased whenever possible. Include a curated selection of photos of the person you are honoring from different stages of their life—from childhood through old age—so you show their personality and experiences but do not overwhelm a reader. You want the photos to add to the stories within your tribute book, not distract from them.
3 - Consider transcribing handwritten notes.
While I love the idea of including handwritten tributes in your book, you run the risk of people not reading them if they don’t appear immediately legible. A design can get messy, too, if a book has page after page of scanned handwritten missives. Consider including portions of a note—such as a handwritten quote here and there—as design elements alongside typeset transcripts of everyone’s tributes. You can always save handwritten stories tied with a lovely ribbon or inside a special box; they’re destined to become a unique family heirloom all their own.
4 - Choose book materials wisely.
Whether you decide to use a digital on-demand printer to produce your book or go a more DIY scrapbooking route, plan for your tribute book to last. Use archival paper and acid-free adhesives in a scrapbook or hand-bound album; and save digital copies of your computer-designed book in multiple locations (an external hard drive or cloud backup, for instance). You and your family have worked hard to memorialize this special person who has passed away, so do what you can to ensure their legacy lives on.
Related resources
If you’d like to create a book but would rather have professional guidance along the way, consider our personal historian services: Explore our tribute book packages.
Contact Dawn to learn how we could work together on a tribute book or other heirloom book project.
FREE:
Questions to Help You Honor Them
This printable list of 35 questions to ask to prompt memories of your lost loved one is a helpful tool, especially to have on hand when gathering with family.
Life Story Links: May 5, 2020
A plethora of stories about storytelling in the age of Covid; musings on what we pass on to our kin; plus video and biography links worth your time.
“Nothing can match the treasure of common memories…”
—Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
What We Pass On
THREADS OF TIME
“Necessity prompted me to pull out my fabric and sewing machine to create cloth face masks for our family, but Mom, gone 20 years now, was right here with me as I stitched, and remembered lessons she taught me,” Marjorie Turner Hollman writes in this reflection on her family’s sewing traditions.
AN INHERITANCE OF VALUES
It’s Leave A Legacy Month in Canada, and Scott Simpson of Heirloom Videos by Cygnals encourages everyone, wealthy or not, to leave a legacy beyond financial gifts: “What gets recorded gets remembered.”
STORYTELLING SCHOOL
The Moth has created a weekly educational blog with family-friendly stories and activities for children of all ages: Engage the hearts and minds of the young people in your lives through storytelling.
The Covid Diaries
LIVES INTERRUPTED
A window pane. A hospital ID. Unfolded laundry. When a history professor in California challenged his students to choose an artifact to represent their experiences during this pandemic, some of their responses moved him to tears.
A CASE FOR CORONAVIRUS JOURNALING
We are experiencing “a period that historians will debate for decades, even centuries to come. Our chance to control some of that narrative is in our hands.” And when it's safe again, “we will want to be able to look back at how far we have come and celebrate one another—together, knowing the story of our experience will live on.”
“REMEMBER WHEN…”
Memory researchers say these months will eventually become a blur for those of us isolating at home. A look into how memory works, and which memories may prove more lasting.
A VALUABLE INTERGENERATIONAL RESOURCE
Let us remind ourselves of the many positive roles that our grandparents typically play: as kin-keepers, caregivers, storytellers, and moving reservoirs of social histories. Of grandparents, memories, and the pandemic.
PRESS PAUSE
I can feel overwhelmed by all the ways I “should” be spending my newfound time at home. It’s okay, though, to get lost in our memories or stare out a window.
PRESERVING THEIR ‘PIECE OF THE EARTH’S DIRT’
The recent stay-at-home directive has led personal historian Pat Pihl to think about the role that home plays in developing our character. Here she shares one client’s reflections on 50+ years “at the farm” and the impact it has on three generations.
The Writers of Our Lives
THE ACCIDENTAL BIOGRAPHER
“She was an unknown writer with no experience in biographies when she wrote to the elusive Samuel Beckett. To her surprise, he wrote back.” This obituary for award-winning biographer Deirdre Bair entices me to read her work. Here, she is remembered as a friend.
THE MEMOIR IN ESSAYS
“An author’s ability to forgive that earlier version of herself is especially prevalent in the memoir-in-essays, perhaps because of the extended time period covered as a writer composes essays across years or even decades.” LitHub offers up a reading list of recent autobiographical essay collections.
ART AND OBJECT
“I believe that work like mine...can be inspiring to anyone who’s ever felt undervalued or unheard, or anyone who’s inherited material related to someone interesting but unknown,” Eve Kahn says. Her biography of American Impressionist Mary Rogers Williams used a trove of personal letters to recreate a life.
In Video
“DEAR DIARY…”
Hat-tip to personal historian Michelle Sullivan for sharing this video, which she so aptly captions “Kent State: a child’s perspective...or, the importance of encouraging journaling by children.” It’s a fine example of a personal history in the guise of a public radio news report.
“THE MAN WITH A BEAUTIFUL SMILE”
“New York’s elderly population need extra special care. Their stories should also be celebrated,” editors at Untapped New York say as they introduce this documentary project about an almost 100-year-old New Yorker and Holocaust survivor, George Sachs.
...and a Few More Links
Have you heard of The Mass Observation Archive?
How looking back at our old photos boosts mood and relaxes the mind
Amid the pandemic, a family learns their neighbors are their long-lost relatives.
Short Takes
Let’s be kind to ourselves
I can feel overwhelmed by all the ways I “should” be spending my newfound time at home. It’s okay, though, to get lost in a good book or stare out a window.
My news and social media feeds are filled with articles on how to maximize my time at home. How to make the most of home-schooling. How to revive old hobbies, finish abandoned projects, take part in viral video challenges and bake bread and educate myself more and more and more. Zoom calls and Google Hangouts and radical self care (huh?).
I’m feeling a sense of overwhelm. There are days I ride the waves of productivity and move forward with ease, and others where I walk around the house unfocused and feeling a sense of unidentified dread.
Can you relate?
These are strange times, indeed, and there is no precedent in our lives for how things “should” be, how we “should” feel.
Press pause
I just wanted to say: Let’s be gentle with ourselves.
Let’s allow for days where not “enough” gets done.
Let’s allow for days when, rather than organizing our photo archives (a project on my list, for example), we browse our old photos and get lost in the memories they stir.
Let’s skip the journaling for a day to escape into the pages of a long-favorite novel.
Let’s take time to honor our feelings, and to allow ourselves to just be—no judgment, no expectations.
Personally, I will continue to jot down ideas on my own to-do list, and professionally, to offer up family history activities and memoir writing tips on this site, just in case you’re ready for them.
Just remember: It’s okay for some items to remain on our to-do lists indefinitely, and to bookmark activities for later.
I’m here as a personal historian to listen to your stories when you feel ready to share, to move forward with a legacy project that’s been on your mind for ages, and to offer wisdom for your DIY projects, too. And I’m here as a fellow human navigating this new normal with vulnerability and good intentions—let’s do our best, together.
❤️❤️❤️
Life Story Links: April 21, 2020
Hybrid memoir, journalistic memoir, and writing about estranged family members; plus timely storytelling and oral history resources and Mother's Day ideas.
“We’re all products of our context in time and place.”
—Linda Joy Myers
Front line workers were heroes during the flu epidemic of 1918, as they are now during the novel coronavirus pandemic. Photograph: St. Louis Red Cross Motor Corps on duty during influenza epidemic (1918). Original from Library of Congress; digitally enhanced by Rawpixel.
Writing Our Lives
HYBRID MEMOIR, EXAMINED
In her essay “What Are the Boundaries of a Memoir?” Beth Kephart uses new books by Mark Doty and Paul Lisicky to look at “the hybrid memoir—these books that spring from the wells of the curious self, that dissolve the borders between the writer and the world, that operate somewhere between the lyric braid and the collage.”
THE MISSING
“It’s not my uncle’s absence that haunts me—after all, I never knew him. It’s that no one—not my grandparents, my parents, or any of my mother’s cousins we visited with over the years—told me stories about him, or about losing him.” Joanna Hershon on those missing from the figurative family tree.
ON WRITING ABOUT FAMILY
In a thoughtful conversation that talks about excavating family history and approaching memoir as a journalist, Sopan Deb describes his work as “a portrait of a broken immigrant family and my attempt to put it back together the best I can.”
Timely Resources
DEDICATED PASSENGER SEARCH SESSIONS
With a $30 donation to the Statue of Liberty-Ellis Island Foundation, a researcher from their American Family Immigration History Center will uncover your family’s connection to Ellis Island in a personalized 30-minute research session. Successful searches will receive a free digital copy of the ship manifest displaying your ancestor’s arrival in America and, when the Foundation’s office reopens, a free copy on archival paper by mail.
CORONAVIRUS JOURNALING
The New York Times offers up tips for starting your very own coronavirus diary, while North Carolina–based The Cheerful Word delivers this free download with 100 writing prompts for these extraordinary times.
FOOD MEMORIES FOREVER
With so many of us spending more time in our kitchens these days, why not take time to write down the recipes that mean something to us—along with the stories behind them? Check out this free printable for a personalized recipe book from The Storied Recipe; and my custom set of food memory cards (I mailed a few cards to each family member with a handwritten note asking them to record their favorites).
Ah, Stories!
UNEXPECTED SOULMATES
I always tell my clients that longer doesn’t mean better when it comes to storytelling, and I think this three-minute animated tale of love nurtured from afar is proof of that concept:
Mother’s Day Tributes
HONORING MOMS
Now more than ever, the gifts of listening and connection are meaningful things we can give to those we love. Here, I offer up four ideas that fit the bill for Mother’s Day giving.
WORLD MOTHER LIVE 2020
The World Mother Storytelling Project is a far-reaching global initiative that teaches us to listen to and tell our mothers’ stories. Murray Nossel, co-creator of the Narativ listening and storytelling method, will host the free event, which will be live-streamed from Town Hall in NYC on May 10, 4-6pm. Apply here to be an event storyteller.
...and a Few More Links
“What to do when your parents give you junk from your past.”
Free download: 56 Essential Family History Questions to Ask Your Parents and Grandparents
Passenger search tips and tricks from the Ellis Island Database (video)