Memories Matter
Featured blog Posts
READ THE LATEST POSTS
Life Story Links: November 13, 2020
From deep thoughts on biography & finding your identity through writing to lighter fare on music & family photography, a roundup for memory-keepers everywhere.
“A qualification for writing good memoir is being courageous about looking at the truth of your life.”
—Joyce Maynard
On this day in 1940, Disney’s animated classic Fantasia was released. This lobby card features a scene from the “The Sorcerer's Apprentice” segment in the film (and, of course, features one of my very favorite things—a book). © The Walt Disney Company
Memorializing Our Lives
IN CONVERSATION WITH A BIOGRAPHER
“At the beginning, you don’t know what you’re looking for. The shape comes at you as you get deeper into the archive, and a strange force field starts to grow…” Hermione Lee, writing her first biography of a living subject in Tom Stoppard, on how to write a life.
“HERE I AM”
Poet Javier Zamora says that his poems are like a first draft of him understanding his own life. Here he is in conversation about using writing as a vehicle to make sense of his lived experience, and how his memoir must differ from his autobiographical poetry.
PITCH IN
A surprising number of my recent projects have been tribute books overflowing with letters honoring someone special, whether for a milestone birthday or a celebration of life. Now, a group gifting option makes such projects accessible to even more people.
Artifacts of Times Gone By
SLIDE INTO THE PAST
"I realized that by placing the slides in my current landscape, I created not only a connection between his life and mine, but a trail of memories, each that had its own association for both of us." Photographer Catherine Panebianco honors her parents using her father’s old slides.
UPON MY DEATH…
“A series of meticulously curated Spotify playlists is just as valuable as a beloved record collection; seeing the last Google search someone made is every bit as intimate as the unwashed mug left on the table, the last thing to have touched their lips.” A host of companies have arisen to help preserve our digital legacies.
A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
“The first time I put the records on to see if they worked, it was like grandpa wasn’t gone and he was playing a private concert for me in my home,” historian Jason Burt says. He rediscovered, remastered and released the music of his grandfather’s WWII Air Force band.
...and a Few More Links
Bruce Springsteen’s autobiographical new album
Riveting TV interviews with Titanic survivors
Soldier’s note is echo of World War I era.
Maureen Taylor, aka The Photo Detective, puts the spotlight on Collectionaire as a digital hub for curating family history materials.
Dinty W. Moore suggests five books that have helped define flash nonfiction.
Driven to document the moment, more and more people are journaling since the pandemic began.
Short Takes
Announcing group gifting option for tribute books
If you’ve wanted to create a surprise tribute book telling your loved one JUST how special they are but cost is a factor, consider asking contributors to chip in.
A new offering from Modern Heirloom Books is group gifting, allowing all contributors to chip in towards a most unique surprise gift: a tribute book honoring someone you love.
At the beginning of the pandemic I worried that my business would suffer. Creating books about our lives could seem like an indulgence, after all (though I’ve argued to the contrary). What I didn’t expect was how being forcefully distanced from our loved ones would make so many folks turn inward—and gain a renewed appreciation for all we hold dear.
The first tribute book inquiry came just a few days after New Jersey, where I reside, declared a state of emergency, effectively quarantining us in our homes: A man in South Carolina wanted to create a book for his wife’s 60th birthday. Three days later, I got a request from someone just a county over wanting to create a book for her mother’s 60th birthday. A week later, I began working on a tribute book honoring a teacher in New York City who had died of Covid-19.
I have been working consistently on tribute books for people all over the country every week since then.
And what a privilege it has been! As I gather and edit the tributes for these books, I “get to know” the people being honored. Through personal anecdotes about them, through carefully chosen photographs from their lives, I begin to understand why these individuals are so loved. Lucky me!
In order to be able to bring this service to as many people as possible, I sourced new printers—ones that could create books of a high caliber (beautiful enough to truly be called “heirlooms”) at a lower price point. I streamlined my process even more, so I could guarantee a quick enough turnaround to ensure books would arrive in time for birthday celebrations, even on a tight schedule.
And now, I am thrilled to offer a group gifting option.
The Inspiration Behind Crowd-Sourced Tribute Books
I am working now on a book for three girls honoring the mother they lost at a very young age; the book was begun by a family friend. When one of the daughters casually mentioned that no one ever talks about her mom, this friend felt inspired to encourage her circle of loved ones to, well, start talking! We are gathering stories about this beloved mom in three books—one for each girl to take with her wherever life takes her. My client is paying for this project herself, but along the way, various contributors have asked me how they could help. And, an idea was born…
Beyond wanting to relieve the financial burden for the one gift-giver who hires me, I also wanted to extend this service to more people. By allowing contributors to each chip in for their share, even folks who want to create a tribute book but can’t afford it themselves can now, still, begin to create the gift of a lifetime for someone they care about.
At just $60 per contributor, the cost of a professionally-created tribute book is accessible.
And not only can participants take heart in knowing they are giving a most meaningful heirloom gift to their loved one, but they also receive a digital copy of the completed tribute book, a special keepsake they will cherish, too.
The process couldn’t be simpler for the project coordinator, either! No worries about collecting money, nagging friends and family, and keeping track of all the details—nope, we do that, too. Honestly, I’ve done everything I can think of to make this process as easy as possible for you!
Taking the Next Steps
Are you imagining Dad opening up a tribute book all about him? Or Nonna, or Mommy, or your best-friend-since-kindergarten?
Who would you like to honor?
Telling someone you love them—in a gorgeous, meaningful book!—has never been easier.
Please give me a call or reach out and set up an appointment to chat about how we can bring your tribute book to life—and how you can easily invite friends and family to contribute!
Related Reading:
8 Tips for Creating Your Own Tribute Book in Honor of a Lost Loved One
Your Mom’s Turning 70 and You STILL Don’t Know What to Get Her?
How to Get Started Sharing Your Love in a Book
(and what people are saying about their experiences working with us on their own tribute books!)
Free Guide: How to Create Heartfelt Birthday Tributes
Jam-packed with tips to help you plan, manage, and finish your birthday tribute book project!
Life Story Links: October 27, 2020
An array of reads for memory keepers, life story writers, and family history preservationists including celebrity memoirs, photo stories & adoption narratives.
“Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed—to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.”
—Parker J. Palmer
Vintage “Jolly Hallowe’en” postcard, courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Picture Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Beyond Celebrity
YOU MATTER TO ME
“Unexpected praise, like a gift given ‘just because,’ can be even more powerful—and make an even bigger impact…So do it now. Before it's too late.” How Eddie Van Halen’s death inspired this decree for telling those who matter to you that they are appreciated. Tribute time, anyone?
“EARLY LIFE ISN’T EVERYTHING”
The brother of comedian Mike Nichols writes a heartfelt letter offering a counterpoint to the way a reviewer characterized his mother, “dismissed with the single word ‘nightmarish,’ and I will attempt in this letter to relate some information that might allow a fuller and kinder understanding of her.”
AND IT’S NOT GHOSTWRITTEN
“I had been threatening, daring myself to go open my treasure chest of diaries for the past 15 years but never had the courage to do it,” actor Matthew McConaughey says. The milestone of turning 50 was the impetus he needed, and the resulting book—“a love letter to life,” he calls it—is out now.
Saving Our Photo Stories
TOO MANY PICTURES?
“It’s a lot of ‘I’ll do it later.’ And really, you could do years’ worth of later. And then you’re kind of faced with this insurmountable project before you.” Why you shouldn’t put off that big digital photo organizing project.
PHOTOS & STORYTELLING
I’m a personal historian, so it should come as no surprise that I think a photo book with no stories is, as my grandmother would say, for the birds. I offer up three themes that elevate your photo book to heirloom, and make adding your personal stories easy.
All History Is Personal
RACE, IDENTITY & THE STORIES WE TELL
“If we truly want Mississippi to advance, we have to embrace all of its stories, even the ones that make us uncomfortable.” University professor W. Ralph Eubanks discusses why he teaches Southern identity and memory, and how “memory is not a passive repository of facts, but an active process of creating meaning about the past.”
HOW THEY VOTED
Have you created an archive of your family's voting history? Pam Pacelli Cooper of Massachusetts–based Verissima Productions.offers some questions to consider as we celebrate National Archives month and head into the November elections.
WHERE IS THE BLACK BRITISH HISTORY?
“I’m privileged in that my Grandma took it upon herself to commit her life story to the page, which means our entire extended family can learn about our shared personal history by reading her book. Most Black Brits aren’t nearly as lucky,” Almaz Ohene writes—and so she shares her story so they may, too, see themselves and “and the collective importance of their histories.”
Life Story Work
FOR THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY
“Life story work is vitally important and is about giving adopted children a narrative that they can understand about their early life experiences.” All families who adopt through this UK–based agency are offered one-to-one sessions with a life story support worker.
IN THE GRIP OF MOURNING
Can you write someone’s life story if they are still deep in the throes of mourning? Should you? Seattle–based memoirist and ghostwriter Bruno George ponders these questions, and turns to Roland Barthes’s Mourning Diary for added insight.
In First Person
IN CONVERSATION
Alisson Wood on “the myth of catharsis in memoir, redistributing power, and the tales we tell ourselves in order to both justify and survive the situations we find ourselves in. And how, by retelling these stories, we reclaim our own power.”
“1,000 ARABIAN NIGHTS”
When Umber Ahmad brought friends to her childhood home in Michigan, she dreamed there would be Little Debbie cakes in their perfect plastic wrappers. Her mom had other plans, as she shares in this story on the latest episode of the Schmaltzy Podcast
...and a Few More Links
a selection of items from the historic Waldorf Astoria Hotel auction
Did you know that the RootsTech 2021 all-virtual conference is free?
FISHstory uses historic photos which illustrate the past to benefit future science.
Short Takes
Way more than a photo book—the ultimate gift for someone you love
These 3 photo book themes make it easy to show someone how much they are loved! Perfect for surprise birthday and graduation gifts—or just because.
A photo memory book doesn’t have to be comprehensive or long to make people feel all the feels—it simply needs to tell stories that matter.
For that to happen you need to do two things well:
Curate your photos. Choose not only the best in terms of image quality and spiffed-up subjects, but also the images that convey a message and together focus on one theme.
Add meaningful stories. By that I don’t mean cinema-worthy dramas or eloquently written tales—I DO MEAN stories that connect to your theme and evoke an emotional response.
“What theme?!” you may be asking, panic-stricken at the thought of Pinterest–board planning.
Stop worrying and go a classic and straightforward route! Choose one of the three universal themes below and you’ll surprise your loved one with a gift that oozes with love and lets them know just how special they truly are.
Each of these is fairly easy to put together yourself, but if you’d like to hand it off (and take all the credit on gift day!), then shoot me a note to see how I can help.
3 Ideas for photo book gifts that say “I love you” loud & clear
1 - Top 20 Reasons We Love You
Photo storybook theme:
Top 20 Reasons We Love You
Choose photos of:
In this case, choose your stories first—then select photos that illustrate or match up in some way with the stories you have told. There will almost certainly be occasions when you don’t have a picture of something you listed as a “reason you love” them—don’t worry about it and simply include a photo of them (or you, or your family, or your family pet, lol) that makes you smile. It’s all about bringing joy, after all!
Elaborate with stories about:
Exactly what the title says: Tell them why you love them. Be as specific and as silly or sincere as you want! A few samples to inspire your own thinking:
We love you for your generous spirit—and we don’t mean just paying for ice cream after every baseball game, but for offering to help any and every time we need it.
We love you because you are the epitome of a Southern dad—always handsomely dressed (those bow ties!), always a gentleman (you’d never walk out of an elevator before a female!), and always up for a good barbecue (wearing your striped apron at the grill).
We love you for your stupid nicknames (Stefanie is “Pickle,” Alexander is “Ali Baba,” and Marcus is “Delirious”) that somehow always seem to make it into family lore.
We love you because there is not a soul in this family you would not do anything to protect.
We love you for your courage in serving our country for all these years.
We love you for sneaking us mac-and-cheese (the kind from the blue box) for dinner whenever Mom’s out of town.
Every one of these declarations would be made better—and more powerful, more emotional—by elaborating with a quick remembrance or two. They don’t have to be in-depth stories, just quick memories that your loved one will recognize.
Ideal gift for:
a mom or dad on their birthday
your child or sibling as they go away for college for the first time
a grandparent any time at all (trust me, we never say “I love you” in these meaningful ways enough to our elders!)
2 - We’ll Always Remember…
Photo storybook theme:
We’ll Always Remember…
Choose photos of:
Curating images for this book is a fun family history endeavor! Pull out the oldest photos you have—you know, the ones in the old magnetic albums, in drawers and boxes…the ones you actually printed before our photos lived exclusively on our cameras! Try to select images from different periods of your subject’s life: a cute baby photo, a few childhood shots, awkward pictures from the teen years, and on and on. You get the idea: This photo book is a mini-retrospective of your subject’s life, highlighting milestones and favorite memories along the way.
Elaborate with stories about:
These stories should be reflective and fun: Get the whole family in on the act of remembering and sharing memories of your loved one. Consider the title: What will you always remember? Perhaps a sibling remembers skipping stones in the creek or learning to shred at the local skateboarding park. Perhaps a parent recalls moments that made them most proud, from their first steps learning to walk to the day of their bat mitzvah. Suggestion: Select about 30-50 photos you think you might want to include, then sit around the table together talking about the memories they invoke—I promise the best stories will make themselves known.
Ideal gift for:
a son or daughter who is engaged to be married and move on to the next chapter of their life
a loved one’s 50th (or 60th or 70th…) birthday
an anniversary of a longstanding friendship
a family who is selling their home filled with a lifetime of memories.
Any life transition is an opportune time to reflect in this way and honor someone with your collective memories.
3 - A Living Tribute for _________ (Just Because)
Photo storybook theme:
A Living Tribute for _________ (Just Because)
Choose photos of:
Select photos of the person you are honoring that show them at their best—not just physically, but in spirit. Show them laughing, participating in their favorite hobby, visiting beloved places. Most importantly: Try to include a photo of the subject WITH each of the people writing the tributes.
Elaborate with stories about:
Solicit tributes from friends, family members, and colleagues that describe what makes your gift recipient so special. Check out this post for specific ideas for writing meaningful tributes, and remember: Always be specific. It”s boring (and too easy) to say: “I have loved you forever, Charlie.” Instead, say, “I knew from the moment you cooked me a chocolate soufflé in your tiny Greenwich Village kitchen that I wanted you to be in my life forever.”
Ideal gift for:
absolutely anyone who you want to know is special and loved
The beauty in this book is that you are doing it for no occasion at all—you are simply honoring them because they are important to you, and telling them is a generous and loving thing to do. Not convinced? Imagine their awe—and joy!—upon receiving such a gift. Such moments are truly priceless.
Remember: The key to creating a most meaningful photo book gift is to go beyond pictures and add stories!
The ideas above should help you generate stories easily. If you speak from the heart and share memories that matter to you, trust me—they will matter to your loved one, too! Get ready for some happy tears…
Life Story Links: October 13, 2020
A roundup of recent stories for anyone interested in life story preservation, memoir writing, and personal history—this one’s got a little of everything.
“When a story is told, it is not forgotten. It becomes something else, a memory of who we were; the hope of what we can become.”
—Tatiana de Rosnay, Sarah’s Key
Vintage postcard (1907-1918) depicting Forest Avenue in the Bronx, New York, courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Picture Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Of Hearth and Home
WHAT WE COOKED
“Someday I imagine having grandchildren...and I imagined them asking me, ‘Mimi’ (or whatever they might call me), ‘what did you do during the quarantine?’ And I thought there ought to be something better to say than, ‘Watched Netflix and ate popcorn.’ ” Sam Sifton on (not yet) keeping a Covid food journal.
A MOST UNUSUAL CELEBRATION?
Musings on Thanksgiving, togetherness, and making (and preserving) holiday memories this year... How will you manifest gratitude and spend the day in 2020?
WELCOME HOME
“How do you create a storied home when your family's story is just beginning in it?” Kim Winslow on using your family’s new home as a canvas for family storytelling.
Keeping Track…
NEW APP FOR RECORDING MEMORIES
“The mounting death toll from coronavirus led innovator and entrepreneur Yehuda Hecht to ponder the regret many are feeling at not having paid more attention to the stories of parents, grandparents, and other loved ones.” So he created a family history app, SelfieBook, to help people record the stories of their lives.
SEALED FOR LATER
“While many of us would rather forget 2020, we’re living through a historic moment that we may eventually want to remember.” A brief guide to making a 2020 pandemic time capsule.
Telling Our Stories
EXCAVATING OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES
Biographer Robert D. Richardson believed “life-writing should be gripping, vivid, and intense, while giving a sense of the person’s daily existence that ‘links the reader’s life with the subject’s.’”
“THIS THING CALLED LIFE”
“I didn’t quit Prince, I just quit writing about him or hanging around his world. I still don’t know if I was brave or an idiot to walk away from the only real scoop rock and roll had to offer in those days,” Neal Karlen writes in this excerpt from his new book.
CHROMOSOMAL BREADCRUMBS
“My mother must have known long before I figured it out that motherhood is, at its core, a series of unanswered letters. Some tucked into envelopes. Others tucked into our cells,” Amory Rowe Salem writes in this first-person piece on breast cancer and family.
COMMUNITY & CONVERSATION
When her town went into lockdown, 60-year-old Jinny Savolainen wanted to do something meaningful with her time—so she began interviewing neighbors, which, she says, “gave me a sense of purpose and meaning that I badly needed.”
Oh, Personal History!
THIS BIZ OF OURS
Bethesda–based personal historian Pat McNees updates a 2008 article on the business of personal history, including what types of projects connote “personal history,” and how to find a market for such work.
BACK TO BASICS
Many folks want to preserve their life stories for the next generation but don’t know where to start. Here are three steps to finding the best personal historian to help (including, ahem, a note on what a personal historian is).
...and a Few More Links
First photos of enslaved people raise many questions about the ethics of viewing.
“The honor was all mine,” reporter says of telling this spy’s story.
Auschwitz survivor and memoirist Ruth Klüger has died.
Read the September/October issue of Archival Outlook.
A new season of Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates, Jr., returns October 13.
Short Takes
Thanksgiving 2020: A most unusual time to celebrate
The way we gather and celebrate Thanksgiving this year will be impacted by the pandemic. May you find gratitude and connection while staying healthy.
How will your Thanksgiving celebration be impacted by the pandemic—will you have a smaller get-together, forgo travel, or connect virtually? I hope that however you observe the holiday this year, that you are able to feel real gratitude and find connection with loved ones.
What will Thanksgiving look like this year?
With smaller families who have remained in a Covid bubble, maybe your Thanksgiving will not be much different from previous years.
What about for larger families spread far and wide who usually use the holiday as a time to get together in one big group? Or families who are caring for a sick family member? In most parts of the country gathering inside in large groups without masks is still not recommended—and well, it’s kind of tough to eat turkey with a mask on.
I don’t know about you, but I am all “Zoomed” out. Don’t get me wrong—I am grateful for technology that allows us to connect, to hear one another’s laughs and continue our jobs. After a while, though, the allure of the screen dims and we crave hugs and touches and the buzz of energy in a shared space. And I think if I have to watch Great Aunt Constance pull her pumpkin pie from the oven over my computer screen without getting to savor the scent, I just might skip the holiday altogether.
This isn’t a post where I share “5 ways to make Thanksgiving special during a pandemic” or prescribe “ways to express your gratitude during a Covid-19 Thanksgiving.”
No, it’s a post where I ask, with genuine curiosity: What will your Thanksgiving look like? Have you thought about finding ways to connect virtually that don’t feel so…virtual?
How do I envision my own Thanksgiving?
For me, perhaps I will focus on the gratitude part of Thanksgiving, which often gets lost in the stuffing-and-cranberries food mayhem. Maybe I’ll write about all that I am grateful for; maybe I’ll talk about it with my son and husband. Maybe I’ll meditate on the unforeseen blessings this pandemic has manifested for many of us.
Maybe I’ll also focus on the celebration of the fall harvest—it’s always been my favorite time of year, after all, so maybe no matter the weather I will get outside for a walk at the very least, a sunset hike if I can swing it. Maybe I will create a new dish inspired by the autumn bounty at my local farmer’s market—and maybe it will make it onto the menu of future Thanksgivings when everyone can be present around one table again.
Maybe I’ll feel sad at the nature of our celebration. Or maybe I’ll revel in the closeness of my immediate (very small) family.
What I know for sure is that no matter what, Thanksgiving will be different this year.
I may not get as many hugs, but there will most likely be more leftovers in my fridge. And there is much—so very much—that I am grateful for.
Making Thanksgiving memories last
I will definitely be writing about this Thanksgiving after all the desserts are cleared, as part of my family history archive. I’ll ask my son to, as well, and though I may get an eye roll before he does so, I have no doubt his reflections will be thoughtful (and matter to him in years to come).
Will you join me in writing about your Thanksgiving experiences this year, whether it’s simply for your eyes only in your bedside journal or for inclusion in a life story book down the road?
If you prefer to revel in Thanksgivings past, you may want to use these Thanksgiving-inspired oral history questions as writing prompts rather than as interview questions this year. Or if you’re up for a Zoom call that’s slightly more purposeful than watching the Cowboys game together from your separate couches, consider interviewing a loved one—and no, I don’t mean asking them every question on the list, but rather picking two or three of your favorites and spending some time reminiscing together. Now that’s some socially-distanced Thanksgiving togetherness I can get behind!
Remembering
Thanksgivings Past
Use this list of 55 questions as writing prompts or to interview a loved one about their holiday memories.
What will your Thanksgiving look like this year?
Life Story Links: September 29, 2020
This week's roundup, heavy on video content, features stories on the nature of memoir, moving tributes for deceased, and an array of family history finds.
“Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.”
—Oscar Wilde
Vintage postcard of “A Northern Autumn, Birch Drive” (originally issued by Detroit Publishing Company, 1898 - 1931), courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collections.
On Memoir
A MEMOIR ROOTED IN PLACE
“Life moves in strange and marvelous patterns,” Rebecca McClanahan says in this interview for Brevity magazine. “The memoir runs panting behind the life but can never catch up.” Her new book, In the Key of New York City: A Memoir in Essays, was released this month.
A LIFE BETWEEN TWO WORLDS
“Twenty-one years later I am close to finishing the memoir,” George Clever tells personal historian Patricia Pihl. “I owed my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren information about my Lenape life, information I could not receive from my parents, grandparents, or great parents.”
Stories Untold, Discovered Anew
SACRED STORIES
“All anyone really wants is to be seen and heard, and yet we avoid seeing and hearing others every day. Even among families, there are limits to what we can expect to receive from others. Sometimes we’re left carrying our own stories, like oceans inside of us.” Sarah Kasbeer on sacred stories.
ARTIFACTS OF A LIFE
William Lamb’s mother, who died in 1992, still finds ways to speak to him through the objects she left behind. Read how a lamp unraveled the story of a life Lamb never knew his mother had.
Family History Finds
FEAST OF MEMORIES
For anyone who’s ready to begin capturing the stories that make up your food heritage, I created a list of food-themed questions that you can use for either family history interviews or writing prompts.
LOOKING TO THE PAST
This pandemic year will be remembered for sure, but it’s also important to keep in mind that, “like our ancestors, we can come together and overcome the difficulties ahead. These U.S. census records offer signs of hope of what is to come.”
LIVING THROUGH THIS HISTORIC TIME
Lock down these days with a family memoir, suggests Joss Carpreau of Elephant Memoirs in Manchester, England: “You may not want to write about it yet [if] it’s all too raw, and maybe you think the worst is yet to come. These, however, are the thoughts and feelings that will most be interesting in years to come.”
SUMMONING COMPASSION
“After writing this piece, I received my great-grandfather's death certificate and discovered he…died in the State Hospital for the Insane from Dementia Paralytica, which may well have been a factor in the sad choice of allowing his son to perish.” California–based personal historian Lisa O'Reilly on an ancestor’s heartbreaking decision.
Personal Notes from Personal Historians
CLASSICS FOR THE SEASON
The partners behind NYC–based Remarkable Life Memoirs share a few of their favorite fall recipes, including a sweet kugel “best [eaten] when you’re standing in front of the fridge with your coat still on.”
(COUGH, COUGH)
“N95 masks are de rigeur, not the pretty cloth masks that are my everyday pandemic wear. (I can’t believe I miss them!).” Personal historian Trena Cleland provides a fire update from the West Coast.
“THE STRANGEST START TO COLLEGE”
Nancy West, a memoir coach in Western Massachusetts, says she was well-prepared to help her daughter through the challenge of going off to college—but she wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
Bearing Witness to the Holocaust
LESSONS OF THE PAST
“The results are both shocking and saddening, and they underscore why we must act now while Holocaust survivors are still with us to voice their stories,” an expert says in this piece revealing the dreadful results of a survey about Holocaust awareness among U.S. adults.
THE LAST GENERATION
Witness Theater: The Film takes viewers behind the scenes of an intergenerational program which brings together Holocaust survivors and high school students to elicit and memorialize stories of the Holocaust. “These [survivor] communities are dwindling,” film director Oren Rudavsky told The Times of Israel. “It’s an action to create another generation of people who can tell their stories.” Watch a trailer below, and check local PBS listings for an upcoming air date.
Notable Losses
REMEMBERING HIS FATHER
“People used to ask my dad if he was the real Bill Gates. The truth is, he was everything I try to be,” Microsoft founder Bill Gates writes in this tribute to his father, William Gates, Sr., who died on September 14. He honors him as well in this brief video posted on his blog:
JUSTICE RUTH BADER GINSBURG REMEMBERED
“Born in Depression-era Brooklyn, Justice Ginsburg excelled academically and went to the top of her law school class at a time when women were still called upon to justify taking a man’s place. She earned a reputation as the legal embodiment of the women’s liberation movement and as a widely admired role model for generations of female lawyers,” reads the obituary in The Washington Post. The New York Times also ran a lengthy tribute that details her early family life in New York City as well as her history-making career; watch a video remembrance below.
MORE PERSONAL TRIBUTES FOR RBG
Nina Totenberg, friends with Ruth Bader Ginsburg for 50 years, shares stories of “her extraordinary character, decency and commitment to friends, colleagues, law clerks—just about everyone whose lives she touched. I was lucky enough to be one of those people.” And her fellow Supreme Court Justices also wrote moving tributes honoring their “dear friend.”
...and a Few More Links
The latest issue of Brevity magazine, with a focus on experiences of disability
A look at the history of personal food writing
New books in October include biographies of Sylvia Plath and Malcolm X plus Lenny Kravitz’s ghostwritten memoir.
Podcast episode: “Lisa Lisson on How Knowing Your Family’s History will Benefit Your Family”
This Modern Love column by Heather von Rohr is a fine example of writing about your relationship origin story.
Reminder: If you missed any of the short video classes from Save Your Photos Month, they will be available to watch through November 1.
The World Mother Storytelling Project, to be livestreamed on October 25, teaches us to listen to and tell our mothers’ stories.
Short Takes
38 questions to prompt food memories
Use these food-themed family history questions as conversation starters or writing prompts to capture your cherished food memories for the next generation.
In a previous post we outlined the four basic steps to begin preserving your food memories. After you have gathered recipes and photographs, the real fun begins: the remembering. The story sharing. And the cooking.
If you’re ready to begin capturing the stories that make up your food heritage, hurray! I recommend you start by hosting a family get-together (in person or virtually during these socially distanced times). Set a simple menu—one that includes some of your family’s favorite comfort foods and, most definitely, dessert—and an agenda: to talk about the foods and the holiday feasts and the kitchen antics that make you laugh, smile, and drool.
Memories flow when you’re all reminiscing together (“Remember that time…?”), and the communal feeling around a family dinner table adds to the story sharing appeal.
Print out the questions below (you can download a printable guide here) and pass it around the table. Or select your 10 favorite questions and write them on index cards before the get-together; then people can pick from your deck of cards to get the conversation going.
If your family is not as into the project as you are, or if you prefer to work alone, consider the questions writing prompts instead of conversation starters—it doesn’t matter how you gather your food stories, simply that you do.
Food-themed family history questions
THE KITCHEN OF YOUR CHILDHOOD
How was cooking in your home (either growing up or when you were raising your family) similar to or different from other families in your neighborhood?
What do you remember about holidays and special events?
Describe the kitchen of your childhood: what color were the walls? was it small or big? was there a window, and what was the view? what were the smells? the sounds? were the pots and pans hung on hooks or hidden in a cabinet? was there a pantry filled with…? did you do anything other than cook there—gather with friends, do your homework, talk on the telephone?
What are some of your earliest food memories?
What are some of your favorite food memories?
What are some of your funniest food memories?
Were there any foods you hated but were forced to eat as a kid? (Did you eat them or sneak scraps to the dog?)
What did you talk about around the dinner table when you were growing up? What about now?
What did your mother (or the primary cook in your family) wear when cooking? An apron? A house coat over her work clothes? A sauce-stained sweatshirt?
Were there any comfort foods from your childhood that hold a special place in your heart—in other words, what was your family’s “chicken soup” for the soul?
Did you have a regular day of the week for take-out food (such as pizza Fridays or, a more recent example, taco Tuesdays)? If so, what was your to-go restaurant of choice?
What did you snack on when you were little?
Were you ever a picky eater? Describe when, and if/how you got over it.
Free Guide: Preserving Your Food Memories
Download this free printable guide that include all the family history questions in this post as well as bonus tips for preserving your family food heritage.
ALL GROWN UP
How did you learn to cook?
Who taught you some of your most important kitchen lessons? Tell me about them.
What were your experiences making some of your first dishes?
What cooking triumphs (or disasters) stand out in your memory?
How has cooking changed for you over the years?
What foods always cheer you up?
What meal do you most often cook for those you love?
What junk food is your guilty pleasure?
The way we cook at different stages of our life can be revealing. Do you remember the dishes you relied on when you first went out on your own? Did you cook at all during college? If not, do any celebratory meals or meals cooked by a visiting parent stand out in your memory? How did cooking change after you had children? When they got to be teenagers? When you went back to work?
If you moved away from your home, are there any foods that you would miss that are indigenous to the area or especially well-made in the region?
Do you eat for comfort, for health, for enjoyment? Talk a little bit about your relationship with food over the years.
Do you remember the first time you tasted the cuisine of a seemingly exotic culture? What was it, and did you like it? What were the circumstances?
Do you have one or more cookbooks you return to again and again? Have the chefs you admire changed over the years?
HERITAGE RECIPES
What are your oldest recipes and where did they come from?
What are some of your family’s unique food traditions?
Are there recipes that particularly represent your family’s culture, religion, or regional background? Do you know how to cook them?
Are there any recipes in your family that seem unusual or unique?
Is there a recipe you wish you had gotten from an ancestor but that was never written down? What memories does it hold for you? Have you tried (successfully or not) to recreate it?
Do you have handwritten recipes from your parents and grandparents, and if so, where do you keep them?
FAMILY & FOOD
Who are/were the best cooks in the family? Tell me about them.
What family dishes would you miss the most if you never tasted them again?
Who sat/sits at the head of your table, and is it a position of honor?
Do you say grace before eating, and if so, is there a particular prayer or approach to what is said (e.g., something you’re each grateful for, something nice you did that day, etc.)?
How were birthdays celebrated in your family? Did you have the same cake every year, or something new? Was it homemade or store bought? Did you put an extra candle on the cake for good luck?
What other food traditions do you uphold (or have you abandoned from your childhood)?
Do you enjoy entertaining large groups of people around food? What types of celebrations? What kind of host are you?
Dawn Roode’s curated roundup for the week of Sept. 23, 2026, is overflowing with recent reads on memoir, life story writing, and family history preservation.