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Want your parents’ stories? Here are 3 easy ways to help get them.
Preserve your parents’ (and grandparents’) stories meaningfully for the next generation with these three ideas that make the process simple and enjoyable.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to capture your parents’ stories—your kids (and YOU!) will be grateful to have them one day.
Of course you want your parents’ stories. We all do. But the chances of us getting them without asking for them is, well, pretty unlikely.
I inherited three journals—you know, the ones with those guided family history questions on every page?—from my mom. I got goosebumps when I unearthed them among her things; the prospect of “hearing” from her one more time made me giddy, even in my deepest grief. But when I opened them, there was almost nothing inside: Each book had a few random pages filled out, and by “filled out” I mean she had written one or two sentences or, in some cases, a few words. I already knew her favorite color was yellow and that she had one brother. I wanted deeper memories—recollections in the shape of stories, written in a way that brought her childhood and later experiences to life for me. None were there.
Unless our parents are writers—and writers who turn their attention inwards, at that—the only stories we probably get are the ones they share around the dinner table. For one thing, dinner table conversation is a dying art (multiple generations around the dinner table regularly—come on!). For another, those oral stories aren’t preserved unless someone deems to write them down (you?).
There ARE ways, though, to ensure that we do preserve our parents’ stories meaningfully for the next generation. Here are three that I can help you with right now:
1 - Grab this free guide and encourage your kids to interview their grandparents.
Early on in the pandemic I created this guide to help combat the loneliness many elders were facing as in-person visits waned and social distancing became the norm. I was heartened when it took off—and when I heard from folks just how meaningful the conversations that ensued were.
This 20-page guide is chock-full of good things to help you get your kids involved in capturing stories from their grandparents! Designed especially for kids ages 8 and up (and we mean way up—you’re never too old to embark on a conversation with your loved ones!), the e-book includes:
45 family history questions
3 fun bonus activities
interview recording tips
historical timeline
ideas for what to do post-interview
2 - Enroll your parents in our memory & writing prompt course to get them writing about their own lives.
Perhaps instead of an interview you’d like to see your parents write about their own memories? Going this route allows for thoughtful reflection that provides stories with even more meaning—and ensures the process will continue for a while beyond a one- or two-hour interview.
My Write Your Life course provide exactly what your parents will need to begin their life writing journey:
weekly memory prompts on topics such as Childhood Memories, Food Memories, Life Transitions, and more (themes change every few weeks, and course lasts for a full year)
writing tips that will help them with their assignments but not burden them with unrealistic literary expectations
a dose of inspiration (staying on track isn’t always easy, but reminders of just why it’s so important really do help!).
The best part? Lessons are delivered straight to their email inbox on the day of their choosing, and I am always available for added support and Q&A. And at just $99 for a year-long, enrolling is a no-brainer for anyone who wants to write about their life!
3 - Invest in personal history services to professionally capture their stories—I’d love to interview them!
If you prefer a full-service approach to capturing your parents’ stories, then personal history interviews are the best way to go.
In a nutshell: I interview your parents to capture their memories, help them curate their photos and mementos, and turn everything into an heirloom book with a cohesive narrative and engaging design.
We can do a single 90-minute interview to capture memories from a specific time in their life, or conduct a series of interviews over weeks or months to more fully paint of picture of their legacy.
All my projects are 100-percent customized, so it’s best if we chat to see how we can best work together. Investment for personal history heirloom books start at $1,500.
Which option is right for you?
I hope you found helpful resources here to put you on the path to capturing your parents’ stories for your family archive.
If you have questions or there is anything I can help you with on your journey, please don’t hesitate to reach out!
Life Story Links: November 24, 2020
Conversations on memoir, memories of Thanksgiving, new courses of note, plus a diverse array of stories about memory-keeping and life story preservation.
“We all want to get to the masterpieces of our writing lives by the shortest route possible. Trouble is, the shortest route possible is always the road ahead.”
—Bill Roorbach
On this vintage postcard, a parrot says to the turkey: “I would rather spend my life behind the bars than lose my head upon the block.” Courtesy New-York Historical Society, 1907.
Courses of Note
WRITE YOUR LIFE
Last week I began rolling out short memory and writing prompt courses geared at anyone who wants to preserve their family stories, even if they don’t consider themselves a writer.
OBITUARY HELP
In a free lunch-and-learn from Keeper on Tuesday, December 1, grief expert Allison Gilbert interviews professional biographers Kate Buford and Abby Santamaria about “how to expertly craft the kinds of obituaries that truly honor and celebrate your loved ones.”
The Memoir Files
TIM & MARY TALK
In this wide-ranging conversation Tim Ferriss speaks to Mary Karr about why she staged fights in her university memoir classes, how she found poetry in the idioms of her Texas upbringing, and why every writer should keep a commonplace book. Listen in here, or read the full transcript on Tim’s site:
PLAYING WITH FORM
“I think memoir is so much more than a single person’s memories, or the story of one life. That’s a power of the form for me—that it is so poetic, and it is so flexible, you can play with it.” Kao Kalia Yang, a self-described “prose writer with a poet’s sensibility,” on pushing the boundaries of the memoir genre.
IN HIS WORDS, IN HIS VOICE
In these five audio excerpts from Barack Obama’s new memoir, A Promised Land, the former president tells stories about spending time with some of the women in his life as well as his decision to approve the raid that led to the killing of terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden.
DIVERSE, PERSONAL WAR STORIES
“After poring over people's correspondence and journal entries, it can be emotional seeing a young soldier's attitude…change from excited about going abroad to huddling in the trenches fearing for their lives,” historian Jacqueline Larson Carmichael said. Her new book, Heard Amid the Guns: True Stories from the Western Front, 1914-1918, is out this month.
Times, They Are A-Changin’
A VASTLY DIFFERENT FRESHMAN BREAK
Massachusetts–based personal historian Nancy West shares a first person piece about welcoming her daughter home from college for Thanksgiving, a ritual made quite different due to Covid-19.
TURKEY TALES
“These 29 Thanksgiving vignettes…exuberantly celebrate many cultures, stories, and people that loved us through their cooking,” Becky Hadeed writes. She curated a variety of holiday stories—sometimes funny, sometimes poignant, altogether relatable—for this episode of The Storied Recipe, which you can (and should!) listen to in full here:
MORE PANDEMIC JOURNALING
For the first 25 years after the pandemic, materials from University of Connecticut’s Pandemic Journaling Project will be available only to academic researchers; after that, the entire collection will become a publicly accessible archive. Each week a few entries are featured anonymously, with permission.
Potpourri
A “GREAT AND GEEKY” LEGACY
”I know people get upset when celebrities die,” former Jeopardy! contestant Burt Thakur said. “To me, he wasn’t a celebrity. To me, Alex Trebek was just another uncle.” Read tributes from fans of the American icon, as well as obituaries at Legacy.com and USA Today.
BEYOND A FINANCIAL LEGACY
“The question of how to pass personal values to future generations—and to continue to have some influence long after death—is expanding the traditional parameters of estate planning.” A look at family legacy trusts from Barron’s.
PILOT PROGRAM FOR MEMORY-CARE PATIENTS
Telememory, a telehealth startup that uses AI to power its digital technology, is helping families collect, curate, and reminisce together even as it tracks memory-care patients’ emotional responses to help improve their health and happiness.
MUSEUM OF SMELLS
I inhaled the tiny pot of Play-Doh my son got in his Halloween bag this year then stashed it in my room for when I need another sniff of nostalgia—for me, it truly is a singular childhood scent. Which of “your own personal smell memories” have become part of you? The New York Times asked readers, and their answers are unsurprisingly evocative.
NOW CASTING
How I Got Here, a new television series, is looking for second-generation individuals aged 14–30 to be cast on the program; subjects will travel (with their parent or grandparent) to their country of origin. Deadline for applications is December 1, 2020.
Our Stories, Our Selves
REASONS FOR DOCUMENTING PERSONAL HISTORY
“Sharing one’s personal history can benefit the individual recounting it as well as family members. One study found that reminiscing and storytelling reduce older people’s loneliness and increase feelings of social connectedness and overall well-being,” reports the Catholic Sentinel.
PERSONAL HISTORY RESOURCE
StoryCorps has released this seven-minute masterclass with Daniel Horowitz Garcia on how to conduct a great interview:
A GIFT FOR THE FUTURE
Pam Pacelli Cooper of Verissima Productions in Massachusetts coins a new verb, ‘ancestoring,’ and offers a few ideas for how to get good at it.
...and a Few More Links
“Memory Walking” exhibit in Poughkeepsie, NY, celebrates ordinary objects, family history.
Fair use: a statement on best practices for biographers drafted jointly by legal scholars, book publishers, and writers
Hippocampus magazine announces winners of “Remember in November” creative nonfiction writing contest.
Conversation with an ancestor surrounding the verity of Alexander Hamilton as a slave owner
Browse videos (mostly of biographers speaking about their subjects) from the archives of the Leon Levy Center for Biography.
The prospect of a memoir by President Trump is proving divisive in the publishing industry.
Short Takes
Life Story Links: November 13, 2020
From deep thoughts on biography & finding your identity through writing to lighter fare on music & family photography, a roundup for memory-keepers everywhere.
“A qualification for writing good memoir is being courageous about looking at the truth of your life.”
—Joyce Maynard
On this day in 1940, Disney’s animated classic Fantasia was released. This lobby card features a scene from the “The Sorcerer's Apprentice” segment in the film (and, of course, features one of my very favorite things—a book). © The Walt Disney Company
Memorializing Our Lives
IN CONVERSATION WITH A BIOGRAPHER
“At the beginning, you don’t know what you’re looking for. The shape comes at you as you get deeper into the archive, and a strange force field starts to grow…” Hermione Lee, writing her first biography of a living subject in Tom Stoppard, on how to write a life.
“HERE I AM”
Poet Javier Zamora says that his poems are like a first draft of him understanding his own life. Here he is in conversation about using writing as a vehicle to make sense of his lived experience, and how his memoir must differ from his autobiographical poetry.
PITCH IN
A surprising number of my recent projects have been tribute books overflowing with letters honoring someone special, whether for a milestone birthday or a celebration of life. Now, a group gifting option makes such projects accessible to even more people.
Artifacts of Times Gone By
SLIDE INTO THE PAST
"I realized that by placing the slides in my current landscape, I created not only a connection between his life and mine, but a trail of memories, each that had its own association for both of us." Photographer Catherine Panebianco honors her parents using her father’s old slides.
UPON MY DEATH…
“A series of meticulously curated Spotify playlists is just as valuable as a beloved record collection; seeing the last Google search someone made is every bit as intimate as the unwashed mug left on the table, the last thing to have touched their lips.” A host of companies have arisen to help preserve our digital legacies.
A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY
“The first time I put the records on to see if they worked, it was like grandpa wasn’t gone and he was playing a private concert for me in my home,” historian Jason Burt says. He rediscovered, remastered and released the music of his grandfather’s WWII Air Force band.
...and a Few More Links
Bruce Springsteen’s autobiographical new album
Riveting TV interviews with Titanic survivors
Soldier’s note is echo of World War I era.
Maureen Taylor, aka The Photo Detective, puts the spotlight on Collectionaire as a digital hub for curating family history materials.
Dinty W. Moore suggests five books that have helped define flash nonfiction.
Driven to document the moment, more and more people are journaling since the pandemic began.
Short Takes
Announcing group gifting option for tribute books
If you’ve wanted to create a surprise tribute book telling your loved one JUST how special they are but cost is a factor, consider asking contributors to chip in.
A new offering from Modern Heirloom Books is group gifting, allowing all contributors to chip in towards a most unique surprise gift: a tribute book honoring someone you love.
At the beginning of the pandemic I worried that my business would suffer. Creating books about our lives could seem like an indulgence, after all (though I’ve argued to the contrary). What I didn’t expect was how being forcefully distanced from our loved ones would make so many folks turn inward—and gain a renewed appreciation for all we hold dear.
The first tribute book inquiry came just a few days after New Jersey, where I reside, declared a state of emergency, effectively quarantining us in our homes: A man in South Carolina wanted to create a book for his wife’s 60th birthday. Three days later, I got a request from someone just a county over wanting to create a book for her mother’s 60th birthday. A week later, I began working on a tribute book honoring a teacher in New York City who had died of Covid-19.
I have been working consistently on tribute books for people all over the country every week since then.
And what a privilege it has been! As I gather and edit the tributes for these books, I “get to know” the people being honored. Through personal anecdotes about them, through carefully chosen photographs from their lives, I begin to understand why these individuals are so loved. Lucky me!
In order to be able to bring this service to as many people as possible, I sourced new printers—ones that could create books of a high caliber (beautiful enough to truly be called “heirlooms”) at a lower price point. I streamlined my process even more, so I could guarantee a quick enough turnaround to ensure books would arrive in time for birthday celebrations, even on a tight schedule.
And now, I am thrilled to offer a group gifting option.
The Inspiration Behind Crowd-Sourced Tribute Books
I am working now on a book for three girls honoring the mother they lost at a very young age; the book was begun by a family friend. When one of the daughters casually mentioned that no one ever talks about her mom, this friend felt inspired to encourage her circle of loved ones to, well, start talking! We are gathering stories about this beloved mom in three books—one for each girl to take with her wherever life takes her. My client is paying for this project herself, but along the way, various contributors have asked me how they could help. And, an idea was born…
Beyond wanting to relieve the financial burden for the one gift-giver who hires me, I also wanted to extend this service to more people. By allowing contributors to each chip in for their share, even folks who want to create a tribute book but can’t afford it themselves can now, still, begin to create the gift of a lifetime for someone they care about.
At just $60 per contributor, the cost of a professionally-created tribute book is accessible.
And not only can participants take heart in knowing they are giving a most meaningful heirloom gift to their loved one, but they also receive a digital copy of the completed tribute book, a special keepsake they will cherish, too.
The process couldn’t be simpler for the project coordinator, either! No worries about collecting money, nagging friends and family, and keeping track of all the details—nope, we do that, too. Honestly, I’ve done everything I can think of to make this process as easy as possible for you!
Taking the Next Steps
Are you imagining Dad opening up a tribute book all about him? Or Nonna, or Mommy, or your best-friend-since-kindergarten?
Who would you like to honor?
Telling someone you love them—in a gorgeous, meaningful book!—has never been easier.
Please give me a call or reach out and set up an appointment to chat about how we can bring your tribute book to life—and how you can easily invite friends and family to contribute!
Related Reading:
8 Tips for Creating Your Own Tribute Book in Honor of a Lost Loved One
Your Mom’s Turning 70 and You STILL Don’t Know What to Get Her?
How to Get Started Sharing Your Love in a Book
(and what people are saying about their experiences working with us on their own tribute books!)
Free Guide: How to Create Heartfelt Birthday Tributes
Jam-packed with tips to help you plan, manage, and finish your birthday tribute book project!
Life Story Links: October 27, 2020
An array of reads for memory keepers, life story writers, and family history preservationists including celebrity memoirs, photo stories & adoption narratives.
“Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed—to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.”
—Parker J. Palmer
Vintage “Jolly Hallowe’en” postcard, courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Picture Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Beyond Celebrity
YOU MATTER TO ME
“Unexpected praise, like a gift given ‘just because,’ can be even more powerful—and make an even bigger impact…So do it now. Before it's too late.” How Eddie Van Halen’s death inspired this decree for telling those who matter to you that they are appreciated. Tribute time, anyone?
“EARLY LIFE ISN’T EVERYTHING”
The brother of comedian Mike Nichols writes a heartfelt letter offering a counterpoint to the way a reviewer characterized his mother, “dismissed with the single word ‘nightmarish,’ and I will attempt in this letter to relate some information that might allow a fuller and kinder understanding of her.”
AND IT’S NOT GHOSTWRITTEN
“I had been threatening, daring myself to go open my treasure chest of diaries for the past 15 years but never had the courage to do it,” actor Matthew McConaughey says. The milestone of turning 50 was the impetus he needed, and the resulting book—“a love letter to life,” he calls it—is out now.
Saving Our Photo Stories
TOO MANY PICTURES?
“It’s a lot of ‘I’ll do it later.’ And really, you could do years’ worth of later. And then you’re kind of faced with this insurmountable project before you.” Why you shouldn’t put off that big digital photo organizing project.
PHOTOS & STORYTELLING
I’m a personal historian, so it should come as no surprise that I think a photo book with no stories is, as my grandmother would say, for the birds. I offer up three themes that elevate your photo book to heirloom, and make adding your personal stories easy.
All History Is Personal
RACE, IDENTITY & THE STORIES WE TELL
“If we truly want Mississippi to advance, we have to embrace all of its stories, even the ones that make us uncomfortable.” University professor W. Ralph Eubanks discusses why he teaches Southern identity and memory, and how “memory is not a passive repository of facts, but an active process of creating meaning about the past.”
HOW THEY VOTED
Have you created an archive of your family's voting history? Pam Pacelli Cooper of Massachusetts–based Verissima Productions.offers some questions to consider as we celebrate National Archives month and head into the November elections.
WHERE IS THE BLACK BRITISH HISTORY?
“I’m privileged in that my Grandma took it upon herself to commit her life story to the page, which means our entire extended family can learn about our shared personal history by reading her book. Most Black Brits aren’t nearly as lucky,” Almaz Ohene writes—and so she shares her story so they may, too, see themselves and “and the collective importance of their histories.”
Life Story Work
FOR THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY
“Life story work is vitally important and is about giving adopted children a narrative that they can understand about their early life experiences.” All families who adopt through this UK–based agency are offered one-to-one sessions with a life story support worker.
IN THE GRIP OF MOURNING
Can you write someone’s life story if they are still deep in the throes of mourning? Should you? Seattle–based memoirist and ghostwriter Bruno George ponders these questions, and turns to Roland Barthes’s Mourning Diary for added insight.
In First Person
IN CONVERSATION
Alisson Wood on “the myth of catharsis in memoir, redistributing power, and the tales we tell ourselves in order to both justify and survive the situations we find ourselves in. And how, by retelling these stories, we reclaim our own power.”
“1,000 ARABIAN NIGHTS”
When Umber Ahmad brought friends to her childhood home in Michigan, she dreamed there would be Little Debbie cakes in their perfect plastic wrappers. Her mom had other plans, as she shares in this story on the latest episode of the Schmaltzy Podcast
...and a Few More Links
a selection of items from the historic Waldorf Astoria Hotel auction
Did you know that the RootsTech 2021 all-virtual conference is free?
FISHstory uses historic photos which illustrate the past to benefit future science.
Short Takes
Way more than a photo book—the ultimate gift for someone you love
These 3 photo book themes make it easy to show someone how much they are loved! Perfect for surprise birthday and graduation gifts—or just because.
A photo memory book doesn’t have to be comprehensive or long to make people feel all the feels—it simply needs to tell stories that matter.
For that to happen you need to do two things well:
Curate your photos. Choose not only the best in terms of image quality and spiffed-up subjects, but also the images that convey a message and together focus on one theme.
Add meaningful stories. By that I don’t mean cinema-worthy dramas or eloquently written tales—I DO MEAN stories that connect to your theme and evoke an emotional response.
“What theme?!” you may be asking, panic-stricken at the thought of Pinterest–board planning.
Stop worrying and go a classic and straightforward route! Choose one of the three universal themes below and you’ll surprise your loved one with a gift that oozes with love and lets them know just how special they truly are.
Each of these is fairly easy to put together yourself, but if you’d like to hand it off (and take all the credit on gift day!), then shoot me a note to see how I can help.
3 Ideas for photo book gifts that say “I love you” loud & clear
1 - Top 20 Reasons We Love You
Photo storybook theme:
Top 20 Reasons We Love You
Choose photos of:
In this case, choose your stories first—then select photos that illustrate or match up in some way with the stories you have told. There will almost certainly be occasions when you don’t have a picture of something you listed as a “reason you love” them—don’t worry about it and simply include a photo of them (or you, or your family, or your family pet, lol) that makes you smile. It’s all about bringing joy, after all!
Elaborate with stories about:
Exactly what the title says: Tell them why you love them. Be as specific and as silly or sincere as you want! A few samples to inspire your own thinking:
We love you for your generous spirit—and we don’t mean just paying for ice cream after every baseball game, but for offering to help any and every time we need it.
We love you because you are the epitome of a Southern dad—always handsomely dressed (those bow ties!), always a gentleman (you’d never walk out of an elevator before a female!), and always up for a good barbecue (wearing your striped apron at the grill).
We love you for your stupid nicknames (Stefanie is “Pickle,” Alexander is “Ali Baba,” and Marcus is “Delirious”) that somehow always seem to make it into family lore.
We love you because there is not a soul in this family you would not do anything to protect.
We love you for your courage in serving our country for all these years.
We love you for sneaking us mac-and-cheese (the kind from the blue box) for dinner whenever Mom’s out of town.
Every one of these declarations would be made better—and more powerful, more emotional—by elaborating with a quick remembrance or two. They don’t have to be in-depth stories, just quick memories that your loved one will recognize.
Ideal gift for:
a mom or dad on their birthday
your child or sibling as they go away for college for the first time
a grandparent any time at all (trust me, we never say “I love you” in these meaningful ways enough to our elders!)
2 - We’ll Always Remember…
Photo storybook theme:
We’ll Always Remember…
Choose photos of:
Curating images for this book is a fun family history endeavor! Pull out the oldest photos you have—you know, the ones in the old magnetic albums, in drawers and boxes…the ones you actually printed before our photos lived exclusively on our cameras! Try to select images from different periods of your subject’s life: a cute baby photo, a few childhood shots, awkward pictures from the teen years, and on and on. You get the idea: This photo book is a mini-retrospective of your subject’s life, highlighting milestones and favorite memories along the way.
Elaborate with stories about:
These stories should be reflective and fun: Get the whole family in on the act of remembering and sharing memories of your loved one. Consider the title: What will you always remember? Perhaps a sibling remembers skipping stones in the creek or learning to shred at the local skateboarding park. Perhaps a parent recalls moments that made them most proud, from their first steps learning to walk to the day of their bat mitzvah. Suggestion: Select about 30-50 photos you think you might want to include, then sit around the table together talking about the memories they invoke—I promise the best stories will make themselves known.
Ideal gift for:
a son or daughter who is engaged to be married and move on to the next chapter of their life
a loved one’s 50th (or 60th or 70th…) birthday
an anniversary of a longstanding friendship
a family who is selling their home filled with a lifetime of memories.
Any life transition is an opportune time to reflect in this way and honor someone with your collective memories.
3 - A Living Tribute for _________ (Just Because)
Photo storybook theme:
A Living Tribute for _________ (Just Because)
Choose photos of:
Select photos of the person you are honoring that show them at their best—not just physically, but in spirit. Show them laughing, participating in their favorite hobby, visiting beloved places. Most importantly: Try to include a photo of the subject WITH each of the people writing the tributes.
Elaborate with stories about:
Solicit tributes from friends, family members, and colleagues that describe what makes your gift recipient so special. Check out this post for specific ideas for writing meaningful tributes, and remember: Always be specific. It”s boring (and too easy) to say: “I have loved you forever, Charlie.” Instead, say, “I knew from the moment you cooked me a chocolate soufflé in your tiny Greenwich Village kitchen that I wanted you to be in my life forever.”
Ideal gift for:
absolutely anyone who you want to know is special and loved
The beauty in this book is that you are doing it for no occasion at all—you are simply honoring them because they are important to you, and telling them is a generous and loving thing to do. Not convinced? Imagine their awe—and joy!—upon receiving such a gift. Such moments are truly priceless.
Remember: The key to creating a most meaningful photo book gift is to go beyond pictures and add stories!
The ideas above should help you generate stories easily. If you speak from the heart and share memories that matter to you, trust me—they will matter to your loved one, too! Get ready for some happy tears…
Life Story Links: October 13, 2020
A roundup of recent stories for anyone interested in life story preservation, memoir writing, and personal history—this one’s got a little of everything.
“When a story is told, it is not forgotten. It becomes something else, a memory of who we were; the hope of what we can become.”
—Tatiana de Rosnay, Sarah’s Key
Vintage postcard (1907-1918) depicting Forest Avenue in the Bronx, New York, courtesy The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Picture Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Of Hearth and Home
WHAT WE COOKED
“Someday I imagine having grandchildren...and I imagined them asking me, ‘Mimi’ (or whatever they might call me), ‘what did you do during the quarantine?’ And I thought there ought to be something better to say than, ‘Watched Netflix and ate popcorn.’ ” Sam Sifton on (not yet) keeping a Covid food journal.
A MOST UNUSUAL CELEBRATION?
Musings on Thanksgiving, togetherness, and making (and preserving) holiday memories this year... How will you manifest gratitude and spend the day in 2020?
WELCOME HOME
“How do you create a storied home when your family's story is just beginning in it?” Kim Winslow on using your family’s new home as a canvas for family storytelling.
Keeping Track…
NEW APP FOR RECORDING MEMORIES
“The mounting death toll from coronavirus led innovator and entrepreneur Yehuda Hecht to ponder the regret many are feeling at not having paid more attention to the stories of parents, grandparents, and other loved ones.” So he created a family history app, SelfieBook, to help people record the stories of their lives.
SEALED FOR LATER
“While many of us would rather forget 2020, we’re living through a historic moment that we may eventually want to remember.” A brief guide to making a 2020 pandemic time capsule.
Telling Our Stories
EXCAVATING OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES
Biographer Robert D. Richardson believed “life-writing should be gripping, vivid, and intense, while giving a sense of the person’s daily existence that ‘links the reader’s life with the subject’s.’”
“THIS THING CALLED LIFE”
“I didn’t quit Prince, I just quit writing about him or hanging around his world. I still don’t know if I was brave or an idiot to walk away from the only real scoop rock and roll had to offer in those days,” Neal Karlen writes in this excerpt from his new book.
CHROMOSOMAL BREADCRUMBS
“My mother must have known long before I figured it out that motherhood is, at its core, a series of unanswered letters. Some tucked into envelopes. Others tucked into our cells,” Amory Rowe Salem writes in this first-person piece on breast cancer and family.
COMMUNITY & CONVERSATION
When her town went into lockdown, 60-year-old Jinny Savolainen wanted to do something meaningful with her time—so she began interviewing neighbors, which, she says, “gave me a sense of purpose and meaning that I badly needed.”
Oh, Personal History!
THIS BIZ OF OURS
Bethesda–based personal historian Pat McNees updates a 2008 article on the business of personal history, including what types of projects connote “personal history,” and how to find a market for such work.
BACK TO BASICS
Many folks want to preserve their life stories for the next generation but don’t know where to start. Here are three steps to finding the best personal historian to help (including, ahem, a note on what a personal historian is).
...and a Few More Links
First photos of enslaved people raise many questions about the ethics of viewing.
“The honor was all mine,” reporter says of telling this spy’s story.
Auschwitz survivor and memoirist Ruth Klüger has died.
Read the September/October issue of Archival Outlook.
A new season of Finding Your Roots with Henry Louis Gates, Jr., returns October 13.
Short Takes
Thanksgiving 2020: A most unusual time to celebrate
The way we gather and celebrate Thanksgiving this year will be impacted by the pandemic. May you find gratitude and connection while staying healthy.
How will your Thanksgiving celebration be impacted by the pandemic—will you have a smaller get-together, forgo travel, or connect virtually? I hope that however you observe the holiday this year, that you are able to feel real gratitude and find connection with loved ones.
What will Thanksgiving look like this year?
With smaller families who have remained in a Covid bubble, maybe your Thanksgiving will not be much different from previous years.
What about for larger families spread far and wide who usually use the holiday as a time to get together in one big group? Or families who are caring for a sick family member? In most parts of the country gathering inside in large groups without masks is still not recommended—and well, it’s kind of tough to eat turkey with a mask on.
I don’t know about you, but I am all “Zoomed” out. Don’t get me wrong—I am grateful for technology that allows us to connect, to hear one another’s laughs and continue our jobs. After a while, though, the allure of the screen dims and we crave hugs and touches and the buzz of energy in a shared space. And I think if I have to watch Great Aunt Constance pull her pumpkin pie from the oven over my computer screen without getting to savor the scent, I just might skip the holiday altogether.
This isn’t a post where I share “5 ways to make Thanksgiving special during a pandemic” or prescribe “ways to express your gratitude during a Covid-19 Thanksgiving.”
No, it’s a post where I ask, with genuine curiosity: What will your Thanksgiving look like? Have you thought about finding ways to connect virtually that don’t feel so…virtual?
How do I envision my own Thanksgiving?
For me, perhaps I will focus on the gratitude part of Thanksgiving, which often gets lost in the stuffing-and-cranberries food mayhem. Maybe I’ll write about all that I am grateful for; maybe I’ll talk about it with my son and husband. Maybe I’ll meditate on the unforeseen blessings this pandemic has manifested for many of us.
Maybe I’ll also focus on the celebration of the fall harvest—it’s always been my favorite time of year, after all, so maybe no matter the weather I will get outside for a walk at the very least, a sunset hike if I can swing it. Maybe I will create a new dish inspired by the autumn bounty at my local farmer’s market—and maybe it will make it onto the menu of future Thanksgivings when everyone can be present around one table again.
Maybe I’ll feel sad at the nature of our celebration. Or maybe I’ll revel in the closeness of my immediate (very small) family.
What I know for sure is that no matter what, Thanksgiving will be different this year.
I may not get as many hugs, but there will most likely be more leftovers in my fridge. And there is much—so very much—that I am grateful for.
Making Thanksgiving memories last
I will definitely be writing about this Thanksgiving after all the desserts are cleared, as part of my family history archive. I’ll ask my son to, as well, and though I may get an eye roll before he does so, I have no doubt his reflections will be thoughtful (and matter to him in years to come).
Will you join me in writing about your Thanksgiving experiences this year, whether it’s simply for your eyes only in your bedside journal or for inclusion in a life story book down the road?
If you prefer to revel in Thanksgivings past, you may want to use these Thanksgiving-inspired oral history questions as writing prompts rather than as interview questions this year. Or if you’re up for a Zoom call that’s slightly more purposeful than watching the Cowboys game together from your separate couches, consider interviewing a loved one—and no, I don’t mean asking them every question on the list, but rather picking two or three of your favorites and spending some time reminiscing together. Now that’s some socially-distanced Thanksgiving togetherness I can get behind!
Remembering
Thanksgivings Past
Use this list of 55 questions as writing prompts or to interview a loved one about their holiday memories.
What will your Thanksgiving look like this year?