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Simple, modern memory-keeping: How to tell the stories behind your family photos
These 3 ideas for telling the stories behind your favorite family photos are easy-peasy—and they’ll get you well on your way to preserving your family legacy.
Can a single photo tell a story? The answer is a wholehearted YES. The question becomes: How will you tell it?
Here are three ideas for choosing one single photo and transforming it into a gift that is destined to become a family heirloom.
3 ways to tell a photo story
1 - Frame your photo—with an extended caption.
Who’s to say that a photo must be framed on its own? There are myriad ways to incorporate words into your wall art. First, choose a photo that by itself seems to tell a story: It’s clear when or where it was taken, and there are emotions conveyed in people’s expressions. Then, write a brief synopsis of the story behind the picture: 200-300 words is usually sufficient to paint a picture that includes the vital details (who is pictured, the date and specific place if they are known) as well as a little bit about what makes it so special (humor goes a long way!).
Once you have both the photo and your story, it’s time to typeset the text so that it looks worthy of being framed. If you have access to design software such as InDesign (favored by professionals) or Lucidpress (a free alternative), you may consider aligning the text next to or below the image, saving it as a JPEG, then having it printed on photo paper by your local digital printer. If that sounds intimidating, don’t worry: You can create beautiful text right in a Google or Word document, print it on paper, then have it framed in its own mat window within the frame, as shown below.
Here’s a sample caption that tells the story behind the photo above—in fewer than 200 words: “I will always remember Abuela Manuela wearing a brightly patterned house dress, smiling, and smelling like garlic or some other pungent spice that seemed to permeate her pores. Every time we visited her home in Paramus, New Jersey, she had something for dinner simmering on the stove (to this day I often cook her recipe for ropa vieja, but it’s never quite the same!). She used to slip dollar bills or fifty-cent coins into our pockets when we were leaving as kids, but it was her hugs that I longed for—they were tight and comforting, and you could feel the love. This picture of her in her kitchen in 1990 captures her spirit just so: her lipstick always smudged from the countless kisses she bestowed on her grandchildren, her gold jewelry always on, even if she was working in the garden outside, and bathed in the warm glow of her favorite room—a room where we kids were always welcomed, and always spoiled. We miss you, Abuela!”
2 - Mail your photo—on a custom postcard that’s surprisingly easy to make!
It’s a rare occasion indeed when we send someone we love snail mail just because. But when it’s as simple as uploading a special photo from your phone and dictating a personal message, what’s stopping us? Modern technology has made mailing Grandma or Poppy a custom postcard as easy as 1-2-3.
So get to it: Pick a picture of your kids that you know their grandparents would love to see (think big—holding the trophy at the spelling bee; and think small—licking the spoon while baking cupcakes with mom). Upload it to a site such as Postsnap or via an app like TouchNote, and for less than five dollars you can personalize and mail a postcard they’ll treasure.
Remember to tell the story of the photo with words. Incorporate dialogue (especially that adorable kidspeak that they’ll one day grow out of!), describe emotions (yours and your kids’), and of course include vital details (when, where). I am willing to bet that the excited response from your recipient will warrant more of these being made—and sent—in the not-too-distant future! Bonus idea: Mail a duplicate to yourself, too, to save in a scrapbook or keepsake box for your children.
For a few dollars more than the cost of a postage stamp you can create and send a customized postcard to a loved one that will delight and surprise.
3 - Journal about your photo—with the intent of using it for a book later.
The idea of creating a photo book—no less a photo book with stories!—is undoubtedly overwhelming. The key to getting past the overwhelm is to tackle one photo and one story at a time.
I suggest setting aside a journal specifically for your photo stories. Then set a goal that is manageable—say, one photo for every month. At the end of each month, go through all the pictures you have taken to decide upon one that feels right (click here for some tips on choosing the best photos for story sharing). If you are journaling on your computer, copy and paste the photo to the top of your journal page before beginning to type. If you are handwriting your memories, print a copy of the photo to tape into your book.
Then, begin writing. Set the scene: What was happening when this photo was taken: Was it just before your kid’s big soccer final, when anticipation was running high? Or was it the day after Thanksgiving, when everyone was exhausted but content to lounge around the house together? By choosing moments that encompass all aspects of your life—both the milestones and the everyday activities—you’re sure to preserve stories that will resonate with your family for years to come.
You won’t believe a year has passed when you write about that twelfth photograph! (And hey, don’t let me stop you from writing MORE than one photo story every month—the idea is simply to set a reasonable goal!). At this point you may want to create and print a photo book that more permanently preserves your photo stories, or you may simply want to keep going for another year. My suggestion? Do both!
Whether you are journaling digitally or by hand, be sure to include the photo at the beginning of your story—and include the vital details that you might assume are a given, but that truly need to be recorded to ensure they are not forgotten: who, what, when, and where!
Do you have other ideas for preserving the stories behind your family photos? I’d love to hear them (you can share them in the comments below, or hop on Instagram where I am talking with the broader memory-keeping community about this topic a lot!
And, of course, if you’d like help preserving your family stories and photographs, please reach out to set up a free, no-pressure half-hour consultation to see how I might be able to help.
Life Story Links: December 14, 2021
A wealth of reading on the topics of memoir writing, honoring lost loved ones through storytelling, and the best creative nonfiction pieces to read now,
“But here’s the other thing I believe about writing memoir. Even if you never publish your story, it deserves to be told. There is much to be learned from the simple act of figuring out what your story is ABOUT. Which is not the same as WHAT HAPPENED.”
—Joyce Maynard
Vintage photo of postman with his sack of deliveries; the magazine in front is The Literary Digest, dated May 22, 1920. Original photograph from Bain News Service, 1920, courtesy of Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Washington, digital collection.
Telling Our Stories
WHO IS YOUR FAMILY?
While documenting our family history is essential, so too is stepping back to ask ourselves a few questions about our family. These two writing prompts may be just the ticket to more thoughtful storytelling and meaning-making.
STORIES HOLD POWER
On this episode of Stories in Our Roots podcast, host Heather Murphy interviews Laura Roselle of the Family Narrative Project about how we can change the meaning of a story by shifting the way we tell it:
IN CONVERSATION
Memoirists Michelle Bowdler and Kenny Fries discuss “how to write honestly and fearlessly about one’s life and the larger meaning of one’s personal experiences.”
BEING OPEN ON THE PAGE
“I’ve taught writing for more than thirty years, and I always explain to my students that writing it down is the opposite of covering it up,” Gina Barreca, Ph.D., writes in this piece suggesting that stories need a heart.
Discovering the Stories of Others
READING LIST
For your future reading pleasure: Bookmark this list of the best 60 essays in the creative nonfiction genre from the past year, as selected by the staff and readers of Entropy.
RICH NONFICTION NARRATIVE WRITING
How creative nonfiction —“this nonfiction form that let you tell stories and incorporate your experiences along with other information and ideas and personal opinions”—became a legitimate genre.
A MEMOIR FOR COVID TIMES
“Happy and sad, upbeat and poignant, optimistic and anxious, all of these stories [in the community memoir Sorrows & Silver Linings: Global Pandemic in a Small Town] paint a picture of what life was like in Carlisle when COVID struck in spring of 2020,” journalist Nancy West writes.
Memories, Legacy, Life
MEANINGFUL GIFT IDEAS
“All of these gifts connect to conversation, memory-keeping, and story-sharing in some way,” says Whitney Myers, the video biographer behind Sacred Stories in Texas. Her list of holiday giving ideas includes stocking stuffers, too.
TALKING ABOUT DECEASED FAMILY
“We got up and started walking along the edge of the lake when Andy stopped and said, ‘Boys, I have something to tell you.’” How one family honors the memory of three who died years before, with love and intention.
“THE LIFE STORY FACTORY”
“As the pandemic brought mortality into sharp relief, ghost-writing collective StoryTerrace experienced an uptick in business, publishing biographies about and for regular people. Here…we discover the extraordinary things you learn when you spend your days detailing ordinary lives.”
QUITE A JOURNEY
A U.S. soldier overseas during World War II lost a bracelet inscribed with his sweetheart's name. With the help of a hobbyist treasure hunter, the U.S. Embassy, the Marines, and, finally, a Czech-speaking woman in Colorado, it was returned to him. Hear the story:
...and a Few More Links
Review of the new book Artful Truths: The Philosophy of Memoir
Landmark photo archive of black life in New York comes to the Met.
A Florida city keeps the memory of Zora Neale Hurston alive with a heritage trail.
LitHub gathers the best reviewed memoirs and biographies of 2021.
Old photo album shows high school life in Michigan before WWII.
Rediscovered film footage offers rare glimpse of everyday life in 1920s Ireland.
Short Takes
Two unexpected writing prompts about family
These two writing prompts about family—and what it means to you—may be just the ticket to more thoughtful storytelling and personal meaning-making.
“Families are united more by mutual stories—of love and pain and adventure—than by biology. ‘Do you remember when . . .’ bonds people together far more than shared chromosomes . . . a family knows itself to be a family through its shared stories.”
—Daniel Taylor
definition:
family*
1 : a group of people who are related to each other
2 : a group of persons of common ancestry : CLAN
3 : a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation : FELLOWSHIP
There are plenty of official definitions of the word family in the dictionary, many of them self-referential, most of them rooted in cultural norms of another time (“the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children,” for instance).
Here's the thing, though: The idea of family—what family means to you, who belongs to your family—is as personal as it gets. And yet…it's not something many of us think about, is it?
We may sit down to do some family history work—clicking on those green hints in Ancestry, sending away for land deeds and marriage certificates—and the assumption is we're discovering our family. Kin. But is that the extent of it?
More and more these days genealogy efforts may yield surprising results, especially since DNA entered the picture: a father who isn't biologically a father; a daughter who was raised as an only child only to learn she was the product of a sperm donation…and that she has 18 half-siblings by blood. How might these individuals rethink who their family is (and isn't)?
Moreover, the idea of family has evolved over time, and for some, their “chosen family” may play a more significant role in their life than blood relatives do. What is a “chosen family”? According to the SAGE Encyclopedia of Marriage, Family, and Couples Counseling, “Chosen families are nonbiological kinship bonds, whether legally recognized or not, deliberately chosen for the purpose of mutual support and love.” I have plenty of friends whose chosen family is their world.
You needn’t have made a shocking discovery through DNA or chosen a group of friends as your primary family, however, to have something important to say on the matter of what family means to you. Even in the most traditional of families, some relationships hold more weight than others. And what we derive from family—support, inspiration, pressure, trauma, love, fun, stability—can run the gamut, and have a profound impact on our notion of self.
So while documenting our family history is essential, so too is stepping back to ask ourselves a few questions about our family—in fact, it may be just the ticket to more thoughtful storytelling and meaning-making. Are you ready?
Writing prompts to yield deeper family history stories
Consider both of these questions, grab a journal or your laptop, and start writing.
What does the word ‘family’ mean to you?
Who is your family?
You're not writing for publication here. Rather, you're ruminating. Finding meaning through your writing.
And remember: Your responses to these prompts could be wildly different today than tomorrow, and that's okay.
How you answer these questions is revealing. Your own definition of “family” is foundational to how you discuss your personal history. How you regard past experiences may shift once you become more aware of your vision of your family (and where you fit into it).
What will you do with the writing that results from these prompts? A couple of ideas:
Think about your answers and integrate them into your own life narrative. You are the narrator of your own story, and writing about themes such as what family means to you is a path to self-discovery. As Sara Aird has written about storytelling and identity: “The final stage of writing yourself into existence will be accepting who it is you are finding, believing that who you are creating is real and true and worthy.”
Use your initial writing as fodder for more refined life writing. Was there a surprising nugget in there? Or perhaps you gained clarity on an overarching theme in your life story? Writing about your own life necessarily covers family ground; hopefully thinking deeply about questions of who and what family means to you will allow you to delve even deeper into your own personal stories.
* definitions from Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Explore more blog posts in these categories:
Life Story Links: November 30, 2021
This week's memory-keeping roundup includes audio recommendations, compelling personal essays, new memoirs, plus personal history news and trends.
“Lots of my food has a story to go along with it, and lots of my stories have some food to go along with them, too.”
—Ellen Stimson
Midnight supper at Nan Hannegan's twentieth birthday party, May 1943, Niagara Falls, New York; her mother took in girl war workers as boarders. Photograph by Marjory Collins, courtesy Library of Congress Digital Collection.
Listen Up
TALES OF LIFE AND MUSIC
Two musicians (and writers), Dave Grohl and Aimee Mann, shared stories from their lives in conversations held as part of the recent New Yorker Festival. Listen to the audio here.
DOCUMENT YOUR FAMILY HISTORY
This episode of NPR’s podcast Life Kit offers truly great (actionable!) tips for recording the “precious sounds of our biological or chosen families that we capture to help us understand who they are and to give us insights into who we are, too.” Click below to listen:
Recent First Person Reads of Note
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES
“My parents were good-looking, sexy, book-loving. They shone on each other, basking in the shared light, with their five kids just outside the glow.” Sarah Paley on the reliability of a mother’s love.
NAME AS DESTINY
“I feel the weight of my name over my head like a hood—warm and comfortable but a little disorienting. I am constrained by the grief and by the love it represents. Ten letters so specific, I am unsure how to wear them.” Sara Horowitz introduces herself.
Memory-Keeping Miscellany
UNIQUE HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS
Last week I shared three specific ideas for meaningful gifts that put memories front and center, including helpful DIY tips for those so inclined, plus how to work with a pro to get them done.
DRAWING ROOMS
“I like to look at buildings as kind of like characters in our lives. We have commitments to buildings. We see buildings and we feel things and we feel connected to them.” How one artist keeps the memories of places alive.
Up Next: New Memoirs
READING LIST
“This year’s best nonfiction illuminated complicated subjects, deepened our understanding of history, and pulled back the curtain on fascinating lives.” This list from The Washington Post includes some of 2021’s best memoirs.
MEL BROOKS WRITES HIS MEMOIRS
“Why don’t you write your life story?” Mel Brooks’s son said to him during the pandemic. “Just tell the stories in the book that you told me when I was growing up, and you’ll have a big, fat book.” Indeed, the 95-year-old actor has lived a memoir-worthy life.
Proof Positive
WHO IS THE CAREGIVER OF YOUR FAMILY NARRATIVE?
According to research, the most helpful history for young people is “the oscillating family narrative”—a story of ups and downs, successes and setbacks, that helps children know that they belong to something bigger than themselves.
“THE RISE OF BESPOKE MEMOIRS”
“Since the start of lockdown the demand for bespoke memoirs has skyrocketed,” reports The Times of London. What’s behind the boom, and what’s your story worth, wonders the reporter.
...and a Few More Links
Their Holocaust testimonies shared details that helped reunite them decades later.
Mali Bain shares three books that may—or may not—help you get unstuck when writing your memoir.
Shelley Blanton-Stroud on the different ways we mythologize the past
The life and legacy of Stephen Sondheim
Who owns a recipe? An interesting read for anyone considering undertaking a heritage cookbook.
Short Takes
3 Best holiday gift ideas that honor family memories
Give your loved ones a gift they will cherish for years to come—one that puts memories front and center. Here are 3 (doable!) ideas to inspire happy tears.
One-of-a-kind gifts that preserve memories are the best kind of holiday presents!
Are you tired of gifting things that no one in your family really needs? Having trouble finding meaningful ideas for holiday giving? Here are three amazing Christmas or Hanukkah gift ideas, including tips and resources for going the DIY route as well as ideas for getting a pro to handle it all, start to finish. Happy memory-making!
1 - Create a family recipe book.
Not just any recipe book, but one filled with the ingredients and how-tos for your favorite dishes AND the stories and memories associated with them.
Be sure to include:
the foods’ origins (Who made it first? Who might have changed it over the years? Does it derive from a specific region or culture?
notes about any special ingredients (and by this I mean how to source unusual spices, perhaps, but also when using a certain brand—like U-Bet syrup or Eagle condensed milk—is crucial to a dish’s success)
photos of handwritten recipe cards (those grease stains and crossed-out notations add incredible texture to your book!)
even simple foods if they hold special meaning to your family (Mom’s quick cinnamon toast, say, or Poppy’s three-ingredient holiday egg cream)
DIY family recipe book help
If you’re ready to dive in, these tips for getting the family involved in preserving your food heritage may help get you started.
And if you’re not quite ready but love the idea, these recipe cards have space for recording memories alongside your recipes, and they’re a great precursor to creating a family cookbook (they make a unique and thoughtful host gift, too). Use coupon code HOLIDAY2021 for 25% off at checkout, through the end of this year.
Consider a professionally created heirloom recipe book.
If you love the idea of honoring your family’s food heritage but don’t have the time or inclination to undertake such a project yourself, I’m here for you. Let’s set up a free call to discuss your project.
2 - Get those photos off your phone and into a book.
If your photos are sitting on your phone or computer, then you have a bunch of digital files, not a collection of memories. Get them in print for a gift guaranteed to make them (and you!) feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
The hardest part? Believe it or not, it’s not designing your book or finding a printer, it’s curating your photos. Huh? By curating I mean deciding which photos to put into your memory book and which to leave on the cutting-room floor.
Choose photos for your book that:
show you and your family members as you really are—don’t just choose well-lit posed shots and flattering selfies; rather, pick pictures that convey your personalities and exude real emotion
hold some special meaning, even if it’s elusive to outsiders
mark moments beyond the milestones—so, alongside those birthday and anniversary photos, include images from around the dinner table, or sitting under blankets for family movie nights (I guarantee these everyday scenes will grow exponentially in meaning over time!)
DIY photo book help
If you’re ready to get started, I challenge you to add some long captions describing your memories so your family photo book is wonderfully elevated to true memory-book.
Check this page out if you’d like some help with photo book themes.
Hand your photo book over to a pro
Need help with any part of this process? I can help you curate your photos, capture your memories, and design and print your photo book. Set up a consultation or consider buying a gift certificate for future services.
3 - Give them the gift of a generous listener (and time to share their stories!).
Asking someone to share their memories—and then giving them your undivided attention and heartfelt curiosity—is a gift we give not nearly enough. It’s why literally every single one of my personal history clients thanks me profusely for listening to them. For asking follow-up questions and never judging their experiences. For opening my heart and inviting their stories.
And you know what? This gift is free for you to give your loved ones. All it costs is time and a little bit of effort (I’ve even created a free gift certificate printable you can download and present to your loved one!)..
Fair warning: Your mom, granddad, or whomever you plan to bless with this gift, may very well have a look of confusion when they hear what you’re gifting them. Don’t let that deter you—instead, reiterate to them just how much you love them and value their stories, and how spending time together in such a way is as much a gift to you as it is to them. (It really is!!)
A few ideas for giving the gift of listening:
Be an active listener. Give your family member non-verbal cues as they are telling their stories—nod, show emotion on your face. These cues help them know, deep down, that they are being heard, and will urge them to keep sharing
Ask follow-up questions. Your curiosity is a wonderful driver of their stories. And by asking relevant, perceptive, timely questions, you will be helping them construct their story.
That said, be quiet sometimes. There are always times when silence—even an extended, potentially awkward silence—is called for. If you are truly listening and reading their cues, you may feel when this is the case: Do they have a faraway look in their eyes, like they are still inhabiting the world of their story? Give them a few beats to stay there. Have they dropped some profound or surprising insight on you? Just wait. Your patience is a gift, an opening for them to dig deeper and offer up even more out loud.
Don’t judge. Period. Approach this conversation with an open heart and an abundance of empathy.
DIY resources for interviewing your loved one
Will you be the one conducting the interview (or, if that sounds too “official,” leading the conversation)? This free printable guide has a great array of questions to help jog your loved one’s memory and get the stories flowing.
Will your child be asking the questions? This Kid Kit contains everything a child will need to spend quality story sharing time with their grandparents, from questions to historical tidbits to bonus family history activities.
Okay, the fundamental value in this activity is spending quality time together and learning more about your family elder—that’s really and truly it. However, don’t forget that it’s also a prime opportunity for recording their stories. So if you’d like to capture them for posterity (and I suggest you do!), check out this guide from the Smithsonian with specific tips on setting up a voice or video recorder and preserving your questions and answers.
Get some expert help to preserve their stories
Once you have had your story sharing session, you may want to consider having them professionally edited and designed into an heirloom memory book. If so, please reach out to see how I could help you bring your dream book to life.
More essential reads about Christmas memories:
Life Story Links: November 16, 2021
This week's roundup includes a wealth of stories about memoir (both writing and reading), some fun reads about food memories and recipe preservation, and more.
“Stories in families are colossally important. Every family has stories: some funny, some proud, some embarrassing, some shameful. Knowing them is proof of belonging to the family.”
—Salman Rushdie
Autumn vibes on a vintage Thanksgiving postcard
Personal Stories on the Page
AN EIGHT-DECADES JOURNAL
“This page, these pages, these volumes are a labyrinth I cannot find my way out of. I have wasted a life in writing them. They are without value. And yet they’ve helped keep me sane,” Claude Fredericks wrote in what The New Yorker calls “the most ambitious diary in history.”
PARALLEL STORIES DIVERGE
One of my favorite memoir writing teachers, Joyce Maynard, remembers her mother and reflects on the once severed, ever-evolving relationship with her sister—the “only other person on Earth to know what it was to have Fredelle Bruser Maynard for her mother.”
THE POWER OF THE EPIGRAPH
“The story of writing my memoir is the story of what the body knows before the conscious mind follows,” Jan Beatty writes in this piece on how two dictionaries helped her define the terms of her adoption memoir.
ESSENTIAL READS FOR WRITERS
The first step in writing your life story book, the most daunting by far, says British Columbia–based personal historian Mali Bain, is creating your “messy first draft.” Here she suggests two books to help guide you through that process.
GAL ABOUT TOWN
“The early chapters [of Patricia Highsmith: Her Diaries and Notebooks, 1941-1995] are special. They comprise one of the most observant and ecstatic accounts I’ve read…about being young and alive in New York City.”
So They Say
CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS
After years on the road giving presentations and engaging in deep conversations, performer Michael Fosberg—who recommends using personal stories to foster connection—has created seven tools to help foster authentic dialogue surrounding difficult issues of race and identity.
PASSING ON AN HEIRLOOM
“I am keenly aware that younger generations don’t always like the things their elders leave to them,” Hazel Thornton wrote in a letter to her niece. You may be surprised by how her mom’s good silverware was received by that niece.
HEAR HERE
“These stories will continue to evolve as we grow from overviews to deeper and more personal stories, more contextual stories, that move us. As we always say, it’s about the right story at the right time.” Kevin Costner on why he invested in an audio storytelling app.
PRICELESS AUDIO
“I’d really like to just give him a big fat kiss,” says the voice coming through the reel-to-reel tape. That voice belongs to the father of Rep. Dean Phillips—the father he never met because he died in the Vietnam War when Phillips was only six months old. Listen in as the lawmaker describes “one of the great blessings of my life”:
A Feast of Memories
DISHING UP STORIES
“As a fellow who has worked with senior citizens for decades, [Mike] Wallace said he grew to understand just how important it is that family histories be preserved, and he decided to start with his own parents.” Now he offers up 20 questions to use during your own holiday gathering.
FAMILY POTLUCK
Take advantage of your next holiday get-together to start preserving your food heritage with these tips for gathering family, recipes, and memories.
MEMORABLE MEALS
“How do we go about creating spaces for deep human connection around our family table? How do we serve up memories to last a lifetime at our next holiday gathering?” Texas-based video biographer Whitney Myers on honoring the people behind our most memorable get-togethers.
A FIVE-GENERATION TRADITION
“It’s amazing how if you don’t ask your grandparents...what they lived through you don’t hear all these stories.” Becca Gallick-Mitchell shares the story of her great-grandmother’s turkey kreplach and how her grandmother made them—at age seven—the night her mother went into labor.
...and a Few More Links
Sharing personal stories about his wife, journalist Cokie Roberts, was therapeutic during his time of grieving.
Shoah Foundation’s virtual archive was purchased by CSUN Library to preserve history.
“Why depth interviewing is essential to understanding individuals”
Julie McDonald Zander offers a series of questions to help you pay tribute to your parents.
New book tells the story of the invention of Betty Crocker, tracing the personal history of a fictional character many thought was real.
Florida–based personal historian Zoe Morrison gets the story behind one couple’s cuckoo clock collection.
Alan Cumming discusses his new memoir, Baggage.
Short Takes
Family potluck: reminiscing and recipes
If you're not sure who is the keeper of your family's favorite recipes, take advantage of your next holiday gathering to start preserving your food heritage.
Thanksgiving—or Passover, Christmas, or other holidays where extended family gathers in one place—is an optimal time to collect stories and memories via oral history interviews. There needn’t be a lot of pressure: Simply turn on your smart phone’s voice recorder or set up a video camera on a tripod, then forget it’s there...and let the reminiscing begin.
Ask family members about their favorite food memories and record these tasty bits of family history in a heritage cookbook—or simply stash them in a recipe box.
Collecting family recipes is one of those things that’s on many of our “I want to do someday” lists but that can easily slip through the cracks. It always seems like there will be time. But instead of saying “next time,” make it a priority—as well as an enjoyable endeavor!
Invite family members over for brunch one Sunday with the dual intention of visiting and connecting AND sharing recipes. Consider making it a pot-luck get-together and asking each person to bring at least one of their favorite recipes—maybe from childhood, or maybe one that’s part of their current immediate family’s repertoire (we’re always making new traditions, right?!).
This doesn’t have to be an anxiety-inducing project. Follow the few tips below and remember: You’re collecting your family’s food heritage, so you can do so whatever way makes sense for YOU! (Just, well, do it.)
A few tips for getting your family involved in preserving your food heritage:
Make one person (you?) the point person, organizing the day and ensuring that recordings get transcribed and backed up digitally.
Distribute recipe cards to everyone and ask that they handwrite one of their favorite recipes on the front with accompanying memories on the back.
Use the recipe cards as a jumping-off point for telling longer stories that, when joined together, bring your family history to life.
Designate one or two people as photographers. You may want to collect photographs of the dishes once they’re cooked to accompany the recipes (those can be brought the day of your get-together or collected later), but don’t forget to take pictures of the family interacting around the table or in your home. Food brings people together, after all.
Consider collecting all the recipes and food memories along with a special collection of photos old and new into a heritage cookbook that you can gift to loved ones next year. (Go the DIY route or reach out to us for professional assistance.)
I wonder: What dish will you bring to this family reminiscence potluck?
Limited-time SALE on food heritage gift set!
Through the end of November 2021, input code GRATITUDE at checkout for 25% off our Taste of the Past recipe & memory card set (they make a great holiday host gift, too!).
Read more Food Memories blog posts:
Explore more blog posts in these categories:
Life Story Links: November 2, 2021
This biweekly curated reading list includes insights into recent celeb memoirs plus helpful tools & resources for anyone who wants to preserve their stories.
“No harm is done to history by making it something someone would want to read.”
—David McCullough
Vintage news photo of woman suffrage headquarters on Upper Euclid Avenue, Cleveland, circa 1912, with editor’s marking of “A,” “B,” and “C” as a guide for identifying key figures: A, Miss Belle Sherwin, president, National League of Women Voters; B, Judge Florence E. Allen (holding the flag); and C, Mrs. Malcolm McBride. Photographed by Harris & Ewing and International (New York), courtesy Library of Congress.
The Weight of Our Words
NARRATIVES OF TRAUMA
“Hearing survivors’ stories is absolutely healing for other survivors,” Amita Swadhin, founder of a nonprofit dedicated to sharing the stories of LGBTQIA+ Black, indigenous people, and people of color who have survived child sexual abuse.
HISTORY IS NOT FIXED
There is no definitive history, and we as oral historians and storytellers have a responsibility to preserve the truth amidst biases and shifting perspectives, opines family archivist Amanda Lacson.
REAL FAMILY STORIES, FICTIONALIZED
When famed novelist John Updike wrote a short story about her father—using many aspects lifted directly from real life alongside one that was decidedly not—poet Molly Fisk was forced to confront the secret truths that lie in fiction.
Preserving Family Legacies
FOOD AND FAMILY
Get the whole family involved in saving stories and favorite holiday recipes with these three easy and fun Thanksgiving memory-keeping ideas.
FOR THE DESCENDANTS
"Every personal history has its own unique set of circumstances that make it valuable even if it's just to your family," historian Dustin Galer said.
REVISITING ARTIFACTS
“The visceral experience of touching those photos and memorabilia made my personal history so tangible.” When a writer begins cleaning through all the stuff in her basement, “buried treasures emerge.”
Holocaust Testimony & War History
PASSING FROM LIVING MEMORY
“There are so few people alive who are actually part of this,” Daniel Mendelsohn said. “[The Holocaust] is in danger of becoming abstracted. It’s in danger of losing the fine-grained human reality, the little things people remember, and that, to me, is very anguishing.”
“THERE IS NO OPPOSING VIEW”
“I have nothing to say to the principal from Texas who thinks we need to have books with opposing views of the Holocaust,” Ilana Wiles writes in this thoughtful piece. “I hope that being vocal and telling our story, instead of keeping it hidden or shrouded in secrecy, will help our family continue to heal.”
PERSONAL STORIES REVEAL WWII HISTORY
The Imperial War Museum in London has unveiled new exhibitions entirely dedicated to the Second World War, including personal stories from 100 individuals from more than 30 countries:
Public Personalities, Private Stories
“ALL ABOUT MY SISTERS”
“Over a period of seven years, Wang [Qiong] filmed her parents, siblings and relatives from within the emotional thicket of their lives, capturing moments of piercing, private intimacy.” Filmmaker traces the tragic effects of China’s one-child policy on her family.
MYSTERY SOLVED
“Our archives contain multitudes. They open us to a world that helped to frame our own lives, though it can often feel inaccessibly distant. It’s always there, just waiting to be found, and to give up its closely-held secrets to those willing to look.” On recovering the history of actor David Duchovny’s grandfather, a Yiddish writer.
BUSTING INTO THE BOYS’ CLUB
Katie Couric’s new memoir, Going There, “might as well be subtitled ‘Owning This,’ starting with rattlesome family skeletons: subdued Judaism on one side, ‘blighted with racists’ on the other,” writes a reviewer.
RECONSIDERING THE MAN
“There’s a paradoxical pain built into reading a biography of someone we thought we knew well: In getting to know him better, he somehow morphs into a stranger.” How two new additions to the Anthony Bourdain canon contribute to his legacy.
“BERNSTEIN’S WALL”
“In a series of archival interviews that anchor the 105-minute film and provide its narration, [Leonard] Bernstein—who died in 1990 at age 72—muses on the role of the artist in society and the power of music to transform hearts and minds.”
...and a Few More Links
Memoirist Joyce Maynard announces winners of her 2021 personal narrative essay contest.
Penn Libraries acquires the personal papers of historian and activist Elizabeth Fee.
This four-week course in November is geared to help you write your memoir.
“I would have to revise the final manuscript of my life.”
Short Takes
