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Life Story Links: September 24, 2019
We've got help on your life story writing journey, reasons to tell your stories at all, and some moving examples of first person writing to inspire you.
“…though I try to grip the memories, they blur and shift with time. It seems that the more I take them out to look at them, the more I alter them by looking.”
—Laura Kennedy
Boys gathering leaves, front lawn in Bradford, Vermont, October 1939. Photograph by Lee Russell, courtesy Office of War Information, Library of Congress.
Writing, and Revealing, Our True Selves
YOURSELF AS CHARACTER
Nicole Breit looks "at ways you can nurture the split between person and persona, and learn a few tricks to develop yourself as a character on the page” when writing memoir.
ILLUSTRATED JOURNAL
From the Amazon description of Journey, a book of visual and literary prompts: “It is a place where private dreams and musings, stories, and sketches come to life—and an ideal gift for those who wish to explore and then record their memories and dreams.”
THE MYTH OF DISINTEREST
When an acquaintance told me that her grown kids have no interest in listening to stories about her formative years and life experiences, I was compelled to revisit this topic once more: Your grown kids may not “care” about your stories now, but they will one day. They will.
WHAT NOW?
Are you stuck with your life story writing? “It’s not the lack of time. It’s not clutter. You don’t have ‘writer’s block.’ It’s probably that you just don’t know what to do next,” writes Alison Taylor of Pictures and Stories in Utah. She responds with some clear, actionable next steps to short-circuit your procrastination tendencies.
Reminders of Times Gone By
IMBUED WITH MEMORIES
"I didn’t want my grandfather’s things to just be another box of stuff. If you don’t pass these stories on, they get lost.” Five families talk about objects they could never part with—heirlooms they have cherished and preserved—because they hold meaning beyond their physical worth.
AS TOLD TO, FOOD EDITION
“Whatever else we put on the table, rice and shoyu was always the linchpin. We had it for dinner every single night of my childhood. It’s intimately tied to my sense of home.” Sanae Yamada on how returning to the foods of her childhood grounds her.
GERMAN PHOTOGRAPHY ARCHIVE
German culture minister looks into creating a central institution charged with archiving and sharing the country’s photographic cultural heritage to secure “the visual memory of our society.”
Celebrating Love
“WE GATHER HERE TODAY…”
At the book launch for one of her memoir clients, Nancy West was struck by how the gathering had all the best aspects of a memorial service: rich details about the person's life, loving tributes from his closest friends and family members. But there was one key difference—he was present to take part in it.
BUBBE DAYS
“I do want [my granddaughter] to remember me, not specific events so much as my presence. I want her to know that I helped care for her, comfort her and celebrate her. That I was there, a part of her life, and loved her ferociously,” Paula Span writes in this thoughtful piece about what our grandchildren will—and won’t—remember about us.
THAT TIME HE SHAVED MY LEGS…
Wisconsin–based Sarah White, who has been leading life writing groups since 2004, created “True Stories Well Told“ as a place to highlight stories of real life. Recently she shared her own sample of object writing, a piece of flash memoir she wrote guided by the prompt, “What is your earliest memory of your longest love partner?”
WAVING GOODBYE
Maria Rivas shares a remembrance of her mom, who was “strong in everything",” with StoryCorps Legacy, a project that gives people with life-threatening illnesses the chance to record their story, and their loved ones a chance to remember. Listen in:
...and a Few More Links
Google Photos hops on the memories bandwagon.
What indigenous stories can teach a new generation of farmers
'A Photo Album of Ireland' exhibit offers insights into personal histories.
Congrats to NYC–based Remarkable Life Memoirs on turning three!
Short Takes
Think your grown kids don’t care about your stories?
Ever tried to talk about your childhood with your grown kids only to be met with a lack of interest? They might not care now, but they will one day—I promise.
I was recently chatting with another local entrepreneur about our businesses. Her interest was piqued by a life story book sample I had in tow, and she was clearly drawn to the idea of preserving her stories.
Fast-forward two weeks, when I bump into her again: “I was talking about what you do with my 24-year-old daughter. She clearly had no interest in learning anything more about me or her father—she just doesn’t care.” As she said this, there was a look of barely concealed anguish on her face, her body folding in on itself.
Oh, my.
Of course this isn’t the first time I have heard such a sentiment. Many people with whom I speak tell me that their kids—even adult children with families of their own—could not care less about their family history.
“If they cared, they would ask me what my childhood was like.”
“I’ve tried to tell my kids about what it was like to move here from China, but they barely listen.”
“Are you kidding? Of course I don’t talk about my past with my kids.”
The thing is: They might not care now, but they will someday.
How do I know? Because I have heard the regrets of too many. Folks who wish they had asked the questions, heard the stories, witnessed their parents as people beyond ‘mother’ and ‘father’—before it was too late.
Let me ask you this: Are there things you wish you knew about your own parents? That you wish you had been able to ask them before they passed away?
Now: Did you care about those things when you were in your twenties?
If you put yourself in your grown kids’ shoes, you’ll see that their lack of “care” about your past—about your experiences and wisdom—is because they haven’t learned to care yet. They take for granted that you’ll be there when…when they need something, and when they eventually want to talk (and listen). They are in the midst of forming their own lives, focused on the “me,” not, ahem, on you.
You get that, right? It doesn’t mean they don’t care; it means they don’t care to pay attention just yet.
Your stories are the gift they don’t yet know they want.
Whether you begin writing anecdotes in a question-a-day journal or sit down with a personal historian such as myself, please do something to share your stories for posterity.
Don’t let your kids have regrets.
Still not convinced your stories will matter one day?
Browse the posts below to explore why it’s so crucial to preserve your life stories now for the next generation.
Life Story Links: September 11, 2019
The art and craft of memoir, a most unlikely family heirloom, audio life story preservation, and more reads from the world of personal and family history.
“Like a mosaic, we all contribute the broken shards of our memories to a larger picture that, while imperfect, creates a beautiful whole life.”
—Julia Shaw
Books…
THE ART AND CRAFT OF MEMOIR
In Juncture Notes’ first quarterly magazine, founders Beth Kephart and William Sulit present “Art: Honoring the Life” (a look at writerly approaches to persistent memoir concerns) and “Craft: Try This on for Size” (showcasing an exemplary text and a related writing prompt).
THE BOOK OF PRINCE
Prince rejected the list of co-writers recommended by his publisher, opting instead to work with a Brooklyn writer who had yet to author a book. Dan Piepenbring on the process of becoming the iconic musician’s memoir collaborator.
…and Beyond
PLACES IN THE HEART
The studio that turned out to be a family heirloom: When a New Orleans native goes apartment hunting in New York City, she happens upon a place where her mother lived in the 1970s.
VIRTUAL LEGACY?
“Where [the Hereafter app] differs...is that we’re not actually trying to recreate the dead person to reanimate them through technology.... It really is a high-tech interactive sharing of oral history.”
FAMILY HISTORIAN GIFT IDEAS
I haven’t had this much fun curating a blog post in quite some time! After keeping notes on family-history finds over the course of the last year, I put together a buying guide that includes my favorite high-end gifts for genealogy buffs as well as a few smaller presents to consider.
HEAR, HEAR
On the most recent episode of The Life Story Coach podcast, Amy Woods Butler talks with personal historian Gloria Nussbaum about why and how she captures clients’ voices and stories on audio recordings.
NEVER FORGET
On this 18th anniversary of 9/11, take some time to read first person accounts of survivors and first responders in the stories section curated by The Voices of September 11. “They are a record of the confusion and courage, the unity and loss, that make up our collective memory of that day”.
...and a Few More Links
Storytelling in healthcare is a two-way street.
Free “Talk of a Lifetime” activity guides, including family tree and recipe activities, as well as a guide for involving the grandkids in your story sharing.
6 Google search tips for genealogy to help you find your ancestors
“Americans” photographer Robert Frank, who died this week, advocated for “less art and more truth” in his and others’ creative work.
Short Takes
Best high-end gifts for family history lovers
Looking for a special gift for a family history lover? From heritage trips to legacy books, these luxury finds will surprise & delight any genealogy buff, guaranteed.
A web search for “family history gifts” yields a lot of kitschy tchotchkes and nonfiction books galore, but what if you want to get something extra-special for the family genealogy buff? I’ve rounded up a few of my favorite ideas, from customized, framed family trees to personalized life story books.
Consider gifting one of these family history–themed items to a loved one for their birthday or a holiday, or add one of the more luxurious choices (like an exclusive travel packages to your ancestral home) to your family’s wish-list and let everyone chip in!
7 Great Genealogy Gifts
1 - Custom Family Tree
Okay, maybe the plastic tubs of newspaper clippings and document copies aren’t exactly HGTV-ready, but every genealogy-loving soul should have at least one family tree framed and on display—why not gift them with one that’ll knock their socks off?
For those with a traditional bent, I opt for the ancestor trees from Branches Art, which pair nature-derived colors with illustrated trees (you know, the kind with actual leaves).
And for those who gravitate more to modern styles, I recommend I Chart You, whose heritage charts are minimal and clean—and can be downloaded in high resolution for your own use or printed (check out the gold foil on white option) and framed.
Want a major pop of color? My Tree and Me offers unique modern designs, as well, with choices that would fit particularly nicely in a child’s room or a cool office space.
Now those handwritten pedigree charts that are seemingly always in-progress can stay out of sight while the family names get museum-quality treatment.
I Chart You
Branches Art
My Tree and Me
2 - External Hard Drive
While the paper-hoarding tendencies of family historians cannot be denied, more and more research is being conducted online, and digital backup of documents is a must. One can never have too many external hard drives for archiving and research on the go.
If you’re the technical one in the family, select a disk you think would be best for your loved one. If, on the other hand, your family history–loving friend is particular about things (ahem, most genealogist types, ahem, are), I would suggest getting them a gift card to the Apple Store or Amazon, where EHD options abound.
3 - Heritage Travel Tour
Ever wonder what your grandparents’ hometown in Puglia was like? Whether you want to sample the cuisine your ancestors ate, gaze out from the harbor from which they immigrated, or tour a bunch of sites that dot your genealogical map, consider booking a customized trip to explore your family origins. Ancestry ProGenealogists offers genealogy cruises as well as guided heritage tours; and Classic Journeys will customize an ancestral trip whether you have a little or a whole lot of family history info to go on—seek origins, explore the world, feel connected like never before!
4 - Professional Genealogist Services
At some point in every family historian’s journey they will hit the proverbial brick wall. There may be no more viable “hint” leaves on ancestry.com, conflicting information on one line of ancestors, or seemingly no place to start in researching another line. A professional genealogist can help locate documents in foreign countries, resolve discrepancies in research, or trace your roots back for generations. Discover how to choose the right genealogist for you with advice from Legacy Tree Genealogists, and search the Association of Professional Genealogists for someone near you.
Legacy Tree Genealogists
association of professional genealogists
5 - Gift Certificate for a Personal History Interview
Is there someone in the family who has stories to tell and then some (you know, your favorite family dinner guest!)? Or a loved one who you know has experienced life to the fullest but who sits quietly listening to everyone else? Let them know how much they are valued by gifting them with a few hours of personal history interviews.
Their first reaction might very well be, “What stories have I got to share?!”—but I say with confidence that everyone’s memories matter, and an experienced personal historian will help not only set the subject at ease and draw those stories forth, but help shape them and find a meaningful narrative thread.
Please don’t be among the regretful who wish they had asked questions of their loved ones only after it’s too late.
Don’t worry too much about what to do with the interview material (I craft heirloom coffee table books from my clients’ stories, but I have colleagues and friends who specialize in audio clips and video biographies, too). For now, find a personal historian who makes you feel comfortable, then get those stories flowing—and feel secure in knowing they are preserved for posterity. Did I mention this one’s as much a gift to YOU as it is to your recipient?
Modern Heirloom Books - Gift Certificates
6 - Photo Organizer Services
Too often we don’t think about what will become of the boxes and devices full of family photos until someone dies, and then the emotions and overwhelming volume of stuff to deal with can cloud our judgment. Buy your parents a package with a photo organizer, who will help sort, purge, digitize, and memorialize the photos that mean so much to your family. It’s worthwhile to contract a professional for this time-consuming and important endeavor.
Find a professional photo organizer near you in this national directory.
The Photo Organizers
A few more (lower-priced) gift ideas for the family history lover in your life:
What’s your favorite? Do you have any other unique gift ideas for the family history lover in your family?
Life Story Links: August 26, 2019
A curated selection of first-person reads to inspire your own storytelling (or just sit back and enjoy!) plus memoir recommendations & life story writing tips.
“Be the silence that listens.”
—Tara Broch
Photographed for LIFE magazine. ©Time Inc.
First Person Reads to Inspire
SLICES OF LIFE
I have read the Metropolitan Diary in the New York Times for decades, finding comfort and humor in the ultra-short episodes of city life chronicled there. Why share here? Scroll down to “Near Macy’s, 1989” to read a 242-word slice of life and tell me: Don’t you wish all our parents would recount such memories?
CONVERSATIONS, LOVE
“She seemed to enjoy these interviews… I wanted it all—everything I might want to ask her—but wouldn’t be able to. And I wanted to be anywhere but in the ER for the seventh time.” In a piece that resonated deeply with me, Melissa Berman recalls what was said, and not said, between her and her beloved aunt as they approached her final year.
TRANSLATING A CHILDHOOD
“I will never speak the language of Alejandro’s loss...nor will he learn the language of my grief... We can only ask how the other pronounces their pain.” Brittani Sonnenberg writes lyrically about finding oneself—and belonging—in a life lived across five countries.
Tips & Recommendations
WHERE THE HEART IS
Susan Hood of NYC–based Remarkable Life Memoirs offers up six thought-provoking memoirs exploring the idea of home and having one’s own personal space.
THE FAMILY TABLE
As I have been immersed in the design and production of a set of heritage recipe cards (with ample space for memories, of course—stay tuned!), I decided to share a few tips for easily capturing food memories.
GO PRO?
“It’s a question we ask ourselves often, whether we need a haircut, a birthday cake, or a fresh coat of paint on the house: Should I do it myself, or hire a professional?” Olive Lowe of Life Stories by Liv in Phoenix offers up four solid reasons why you might consider hiring a pro to help you preserve your most precious memories.
RETIREMENT AS FRESH START
One of the authors Carol McClaren works with at Arizona–based Unique Life Stories began his writing career while on a cruise with his wife—“because if I didn't,” he says, “I'd explode!”
...and a Few More Links
A list to bookmark: The top 25 films that explore memory
LitHub’s Fall 2019 previews of memoir (including the anticipated Blood by Allison Moorer), biography (including a sweeping new bio of Susan Sontag), and history books
Photographer explores the fractured identity of second-generation members of the Chinese diaspora
Short Takes
Recipe for remembering
Our food memories—sneaking tastes of Nonna’s sauce from the pot, learning to grill ribs from Dad—are worth preserving. Ideas to easily capture stories & recipes.
Ever have a friend drop by your house unannounced and drool over the smell of your simple chicken soup? Have you ever craved a gooey peanut butter sandwich after a bike ride with your kids? When foods remind us of the past—especially fond memories from childhood—we find comfort and more than a little inspiration for revisiting those times.
When I am interviewing a client for a life story book, often it’s their food memories—recollections of sitting around a family table, sneaking tastes of Nonna’s sauce straight from the pot, or learning to grill from Dad—that call forth meaningful stories.
How about you?
Preserving your food memories
I encourage you to record handwritten recipes from your own kitchen (your kids’ favorite meals, holiday traditions) along with recipes from your family archive (the birthday cake passed down from your mother-in-law, the Old-World dishes that bring a taste of your heritage home).
Then take it a step further by jotting down the memories associated with those recipes. Ask the kids and other relatives to do so, as well (everyone has their favorites, no doubt, and it’s fun when memories overlap!).
Trust me, you are creating a meaningful—and delicious—legacy! Stash the cards in a recipe box, or use them as the raw material for a family cookbook.
A few ideas to get you started:
Grab a piece of note paper and jot down a list of recipes that hold meaning for your family. Don’t think just about holiday meals or complicated dishes—even that three-ingredient dish that you fall back on during busy weeknights should be included. My grandmother used mayo instead of butter to cook up the best grilled cheese ever, and you can be sure I’m passing that simple but critical tidbit on!
If the recipe was handed down by a relative, indicate with whom it originated, and any tweaks subsequent cooks have made along the way.
Consider asking family members to fill in cards and contribute them to your collection. It’s always wonderful to have notes in loved ones’ own handwriting, and reading the memories they attach to the recipes will be a tasty bonus.
Be specific.
Mention the cast-iron pan with the always-loose handle that Bubbe cooked his eggs in. The apron Aunt Ida wore only on Thanksgiving. How cherry Jell-o brings you back to your childhood, and the aroma of anise transports you to Brooklyn at Easter.
Details, details—the scents and colors and textures...the truth of the story lies in the details.
Want memory & writing prompts sent weekly?
Our 8-week Food Memories course provides expert writing guidance & thoughtful prompts to spark your memories, delivered straight to your phone—for just $15.
Life Story Links: August 13, 2019
A wealth of first-person writing that probes the depths of self-reflection and identity, plus pieces on family history surprises, the art of interviewing & more.
“…being your own story means you can always choose the tone. It also means that you can invent the language to say who you are and what you mean…. From my point of view, which is that of a storyteller, I see your life as already artful, waiting, just waiting and ready for you to make it art."
—Toni Morrison, “Be Your Own Story,” Wellesley College commencement speech, 2004
In a photograph from the new book Buried (Catfish Press, 2019; Vira Rama, Charles Fox), the Rama family at the Chonburi Transit Center, leaving their refugee camp in Thailand. Learn more below.
Stories of Us
BURIED, UNBURIED
“Rama watched as his mother dug a hole under their small wooden hut just large enough for the bag of photos. He didn’t ask questions as she hid the traces of their middle-class life under a pile of banana leaves.” The unique journey of one family’s story of survival under the Khmer Rouge, Buried.
TOWARDS CHINATOWN
“By losing my relationship to Cantonese, what have I lost in my relationship with my parents?” Faced with the possibility of losing of her mother, Melissa Hung contemplates another loss—of her mother tongue.
SHARED HISTORIES AND DEFINING STRUGGLES
“We have history books that talk about wealthy politicians who were generally male, and generally white patricians, but we have all these other stories and we’re acknowledging their importance. The story is shifting to show that we all have something to add to the pot,” Thomas Allen Harris says in an interview about the premiere of Family Pictures USA on PBS.
ON MOM’S BOOKSHELVES
“I held those books so many times, their authors and titles were imprinted in my mind before I ever knew their importance,” Angelique Stevens writes in “The Books That Bear the Weight of the Living.”
REMEMBERING PRIMO LEVI
The Holocaust writer, born 100 years ago, managed to survive Auschwitz by chance. The Italian Jewish chemist then went on to write invaluable autobiographical accounts of life in the Nazi concentration camps and of displaced people after World War II. Through quotes and thoughtful analysis, one historian ponders the questions Levi’s writing continues to present us with.
How & Why We Share
TRANSCRIPTION HELP NEEDED
The Library of Congress is looking for volunteer assistants to transcribe 16,000 documents from suffragists—would you like to help? If you prefer to type the words of What Whitman, Susan B. Anthony, or Civil War soldiers, browse their other crowdsource campaigns.
MASTER INTERVIEWER, INTERVIEWED
“I still structure my interviews by trying to get people to lay out plot, beat by beat, even if the stories are very small.” Ira Glass on narrative storytelling and who he would prefer not to interview.
GRASPING MORTALITY
“The process of bringing coherence to one’s life story is what psychologist Dan McAdams calls creating a ‘narrative identity.’ People get better at identifying important life themes as they age, and those who are able to find the positive amid the negative are generally more satisfied with life,” Dhruv Khullar, M.D., writes in this exploration of what really matters to patients nearing end of life.
THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
“[I] dare you not to be moved when you meet your ancestors!” Texas–based Allison Peacock of Family History Detectives writes in this piece on the traumas—and delights—that are often discovered as part of the genealogical journey.
...and a Few More Links
Finding connection at Ellis Island through a bit of Armenian graffiti
I combined all the free resources offered by Modern Heirloom Books in one handy toolkit. What other advice would you like to see added?
Brandon Shimoda on seeking ancestral connections through photos of his grandfather in a Japanese internment camp
From email to precious photos: passing on your digital assets
The benefits of dipping into the blog archives of Denis Ledoux’s The Memoir Network
Registration is open for the ASJA 2019 DC Writers Conference, with sessions on essay writing, the art of the interview, and marketing through podcasts.
Entrepreneur spotlight: Kinetic Legacy
Join the free virtual bookclub from the National Association of Memoir Writers this Thursday, August 15: a conversation with Beth Ricanati, author of Braided: A Journey of a Thousand Challahs.
Short Takes
Announcing new resources toolkit
Discover family history, life story writing, and photo management guides in our Toolkit, where you can download free resources to help you preserve your legacy.
We have offered a variety of free resources over the years, but they have never before been presented in one convenient place.
Now all of our free guides can be browsed on our Toolkit page, easily found in the footer of the Modern Heirloom Books website in case you forget to bookmark it 😉
Our guides offer up some of our best advice on the topics of memory-keeping, engaging in family history, preserving (and finding the stories within) family photos, and writing about your life, among others.
We will undoubtedly add to these resources in the coming months. So:
What topics would you like to see covered?
What challenges are you facing in your efforts to preserve family stories?
Would you prefer more writing prompts or oral history questions?
I look forward to hearing from you, and as always, feel free to ask anything in the comments section of the blog!
Dawn Roode’s curated roundup for the week of Sept. 23, 2026, is overflowing with recent reads on memoir, life story writing, and family history preservation.