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family history, food memories Dawn M. Roode family history, food memories Dawn M. Roode

The index card solution to family history preservation

Want to organize your family history archive? This cheap, convenient solution is a great way to record your stories until you’re ready to move them into a book.

Don’t worry, you won’t need a library’s worth of card catalog drawers for your family history records—a simple recipe box (or two) should do!

I’m all about books—I’ve got stacks of them all over my office, my bedroom, my kitchen; I turn to them for escape and for knowledge, for catharsis and for fun; and I write, edit, and design books for a living. But I know that sometimes creating a book may not be the best choice for a specific memory-keeping challenge. That’s where recipe card boxes come in.

Over the many years I have been advising clients on how to turn their family stories into lasting legacy books, I have found a few common occasions when the time is simply not right (yet!) to commit to book publication. In the three scenarios that follow, I suggest buying a simple recipe card box and some blank index cards that will fit within—then using those (easily changeable, inexpensive, convenient) cards to record your stories until you’re ready to move them into a book. (Oh, and even if you find you never get to that ‘ready’ stage, you’ll still have preserved a great deal of your family history in an accessible format…and who knows, someone in the next generation just may take up the challenge of continuing your research and one day creating an heirloom book!)

Three memory-keeping occasions when recipe cards (a.k.a., index cards) are a great tool:

  1. You want to capture memories for your children in real time.

  2. You want to record the stories of your heirlooms, but can’t undertake a big new project.

  3. You are working towards a heritage cookbook—‘towards’ being the operative word.

MEMORIES

You want to capture memories for your children in real time.

Are you regularly sharing tidbits about your new baby on Facebook or Instagram? Do you tell stories about your grade-schooler to your mom during weekly phone calls? Do you wish you had created annual family albums for your kids’ earlier years, but never found the time? It’s never too late to start recording family memories—and it’s easiest when you write those micro memories down as they happen!

How to record family memories in a recipe box:

  • Keep a pen and a stash of blank recipe cards in convenient locations—your bag, your bedroom nightstand, a kitchen drawer—so that they’re always on hand when you need them.

  • When your child says something laugh-out-loud funny or wise beyond their years, when they achieve something they’re proud of or try something new, jot it down on a card. Be especially conscious of capturing catch-phrases that characterize a certain age, or things that make you smile every.single.time! 

  • If you have a tendency to share these things in real time on your Instagram stories or other social media platform, take a screenshot of the shared memory, print it out, and tape onto a blank index card.

  • Whenever you can, make physical prints of favorite photos: Ideally, print them at the same size as your index cards so they can be stored behind the memory card it goes with, or print smaller and adhere to a card with a handwritten memory on the reverse.

  • Use dividers to label months and year, or perhaps have a divider for each of your children—whatever organizational system makes the most sense for you.

  • Consider asking your kid(s) to contribute something once in a while—maybe they write how they’re feeling on the first day of every school year, or what they hope for on each birthday. Preserving their handwriting in this way is priceless!

Future uses: These memory cards will become not only a cherished family heirloom, but they’ll be resources for you to easily create meaningful gifts in years to come—think a photo montage at their high school graduation, or a memory book on the occasion of their wedding. You may want to use them as memory prompts for YOU to write a book one day, or maybe you’ll digitize them for yourself then tie a ribbon around the box to gift to your child when they buy their first home!

HEIRLOOMS

You want to record the stories of your heirlooms, but can’t undertake a big new project.

Instead, jot down a list of all the heirlooms you hold dear, then tackle writing down their provenance one by one when you have time. That first index card will be like a checklist (that you can add to any time you want!). Each subsequent card will include

  • a photo of the heirloom

  • a physical description

  • who it belonged to (including originally and over the years)

  • approximate year it came into your family

  • any associated stories or details that make it meaningful.

You may end up writing about one heirloom per month, or completing a flurry of them at once and then not again for a while—go at your own pace!

Future uses: You may want to one day design a book of all your heirlooms (or have a professional book designer create one for you), in which case you’ll have everything you need in one place. Alternately, as you downsize or simply gift items to loved ones and friends, you may hand them the card that goes with their heirloom—voilà, origin story complete.

RECIPES

You are working towards a heritage cookbook—‘towards’ being the operative word.

Sure, this one may seem obvious (recipe cards in a recipe box!!)…but I encourage you to be more intentional than one might normally be when jotting down recipes. You may recognize your mom’s scribbles, or your grandmother’s shorthand, but the next generation may not. As you cook each recipe, look over what’s written and ask yourself: 

  • Is each ingredient amount clear? 

  • Is cook time accurate? 

  • Have I changed something since I originally began cooking this? 

  • Do we always use a certain brand of an ingredient?

  • Are there other things worth noting—that you often double the recipe and freeze half, say, or that It can be modified if using fresh rather than canned vegetables?

Examples: Grandma may have used shortening, Mom preferred margarine, and you now use butter; “cook until browned” is only helpful if you have a general idea of cook time, so be more explicit for future recipe readers—“cook approximately 20 minutes, until browned”; “syrup” may obviously denote dark maple syrup to you, but being specific is the key to a foolproof recipe.

A few tips for recipe testing:

  • I recommend having a single divider in your box—the ones in front have not yet been tested (and marked up), while the ones in back have been. 

  • It can be helpful to cook the recipes with another family member or friend who isn’t familiar with the process to make sure you answer questions that can crop up. (Bonus? Way more fun!)

  • Definitely write down more than just the recipe—include that “this was Jennifer’s favorite lunch in kindergarten” or that “we’ve been baking this bread every Easter since 1896.” Capturing the stories behind your family’s favorite foods will make this box/eventual cookbook all the more special!

Future uses: You can easily copy recipe cards to gift to your kids when they move out, or compile them in a heritage cookbook that’s professionally printed and bound and distribute among family members.

 
 

One instance where I thought index cards might be useful but have since changed my mind: for organizing genealogy materials. Whether you are in the early stages of your genealogy research or just addicted to learning more and more about your ancestors’ lives, every family historian knows their work is never done. It’s the most common reason I hear for why people aren’t ready to create a family history book. I get it! But while using an index card filing system may seem like an elegant solution to organizing lots of changing data, the cards’ small size is too restrictive. Click here for some expert guidance on organizing your genealogical information, click here for some best practices, and click here for ways you CAN use index cards as a handy reference for your ancestry research.

 
 
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Life Story Links: October 3, 2023

From an audio memoir serialized as a podcast to hybrid memoirs worth reading, this week's curated roundup is rich with family history, memory-keeping and more.

 
 

“Your diaries and letters are the literature of your past, and each tells a slightly different story. I read and reread your stories as if they were fables, modern-day fairy tales that are constantly changing meaning. Every time I open to a familiar page, I read the words in a new way.”
—Rachael Cerrotti

 
vintage poster for national letter writing week oct 1 1940

Vintage poster produced in 1940 by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.

 
 

A favorite theme: The power of story

HOW STORIES CAN SAVE US
The practice of storytelling, particularly when sharing the real stories from our own living, tethers us to what matters most—our families, our friends, nature, the hearts we carry, the wondrous mystery of life itself,” Mark Yaconelli says.

CRAFTING STRONG PERSONAL ESSAYS
NYU writing professor Estelle Erasmus says “every story has a situation (the external), but the underlying story and its emotional implications are what elevate a story and take it to another level.”

ON COMPASSIONATE LISTENING
“I feel like the world is very loud and people tend to talk over one another, but if we were to just sit across from each other and listen to each other’s stories, I think there would be a lot more empathy, love, and compassion,” says Katie Cheesman, who teaches a course about how to film your loved one’s life story.

 

Memoir recommendations & explorations

WHEN FORMAT INFORMS MEANING
“Creativity, playfulness, and craft are evident in the memoir’s format, shape, and language,” one reviewer writes of Jennifer Lang’s “memoir-in-miniature,” Places We Left Behind.

‘AN UNPARALLELED PERSONAL TIME CAPSULE OF THE ’60S’
Doris Kearns Goodwin’s new book, An Unfinished Love Story, is a “combination of memoir, history and biography; Goodwin was inspired in part by the couple's looking through hundreds of boxes of letters, diaries and other papers.”

A PEEK BEHIND THE SCENES
“Stuart Gordon’s memoir details the cult horror director’s monster creations, his family life, and his passion for grand storytelling...[and how] his own life had enough twists, turns, and serendipitous encounters to be its own film.”

TASTY INSPIRATION
Last week I scoured my bookshelves to recommend three books (not new, but definitely noteworthy) that will inspire you to create your own hybrid cookbook combining your food stories with family recipes.

 
 

Listen up!

MISSING PIECE OF YOUR ESTATE PLAN?
Susan Turnbull, a Massachusetts–based speaker, discusses the history of ethical wills and why she was drawn to helping others create them on this episode of the Ebb and Flow podcast from UBS:

The Ethical Will: Filling in the “Why”: Ebb and Flow Podcast

TELLING YOUR STORIES WITHOUT APOLOGY
In the below episode of the Freelance Writing Direct podcast, author Allison Hong Merrill talks about how she wrote about her real life struggles without shame, and offers advice on how to protect the privacy of those you write about. (Another episode you may like: the host chats with the editorial director of Narratively.)

‘A MUSICAL DIARY’
‘Alive and Well Enough’ is an audio adventure of an accidental artist who one day looked up and realized he had a sense of humor, a passion for writing and stories to tell.” Jeff Daniels’s audio memoir is exclusive to Audible.

Emmy-winning actor Jeff Daniels and his son Ben Daniels join "CBS Mornings" to discuss their latest collaboration, an audio memoir titled "Alive and Well Enough."

 

Miscellaneous

ARTIFACTS FROM A POET’S ORDINARY LIFE
A public database of more than 8,000 of Emily Dickinson’s family objects recently went live. Read the winding story of how this treasure trove was saved; it includes things as varied as letters and poems to travel souvenirs and cooking utensils.

A STORY CONTINUING TO UNFOLD…
Amidst a trove of genealogy info that comprises more than 3,000 ancestors, Utah–based personal historian Rhonda Lauritzen discovered a fascinating story of one of them—her 9th great-grandmother who was hanged during the Salem witch trials—then went on to visit the location where her story unfolded.

 
 
 
 

Short takes


 

 

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3 books to inspire your own family cookbook

These three titles—two hybrid cookbooks and one genealogical look at preserving food memories—dish up lots of inspiration for making your own family cookbook.

These books by Gena Philibert-Ortega, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Rachael Ray are not only brimming with recipes you’ll want to try, but they can serve as incredible inspiration for ways to approach making your OWN hybrid family history/cookbook.

Whenever I share photos of family cookbooks or food heritage projects, I get a tremendous response—“I wish I had thought to do that before my mom passed,” “Oh, I HAVE to do this!!!” or, on occasion, more reluctant feedback such as “I would have no idea where to begin.”

Well, I’ve shared plenty in recent months about how to approach making your own heritage cookbook, including, most notably, an easy-to-follow 10-step plan for making a DIY (heirloom-worthy) cookbook, plus 3 surprising ways to elevate your family cookbook.

Now I thought I’d share some fun inspiration—books you can either buy or check out from your local library that guarantee to provide some, ahem, food for thought! These aren’t new books, just ones I’ve collected over time that, to me, epitomize great storytelling in beautiful formats in the food genre. 

What follows are three book recommendations—two hybrid cookbooks and one genealogical look at preserving food memories—that I think you’ll love, too. Let me know which ones inspire you, and how!

 

“Rachael Ray 50: Memories and Meals from a Sweet and Savory Life” by Rachael Ray

Why you’ll be inspired:

With 25 essays depicting Rachael Ray’s personal life plus 125 recipes handpicked to correspond to her favorite memories, this book is a prime example of what a heritage cookbook can be. From vignettes about childhood movie night and special occasion dinners at NYC’s Mamma Leone’s all the way to moments with her famous friends and how she got to Carnegie Hall, the chef used her milestone fiftieth birthday as a spark to take stock. 

“This is not a memoir,” she writes. “It’s a series of recollections, a scrapbook of my life so far.” Lots of those recollections are accompanied by recipes, sure, though “other episodes in the book have nothing to do with food, but they remain important ingredients that have helped give my life its particular flavor.” (Can you hear me cheering?!)

This book is stunningly bound and printed on matte paper with elegantly simple graphic section openers and an abundance of images, including nostalgic childhood photos as well as the expected styled food photos.

Fun quotes: 

“I was marked to be in a kitchen when I burnt my finger on an industrial stove at age two.”

“I think I’m a nurturing person but I have resigned myself to the role of cooking vegetables rather than growing them. Upstate my husband is the farmer. I can pick the stuff, and prepare it, but I’m not allowed near it when it’s growing.”

My favorite recipe:

Carbonara (a classic done the authentic way!)

Buy or Learn More:

Rachael Ray 50: Memories and Meals from a Sweet and Savory Life by Rachael Ray (2019, Ballantine)

 

“My Father’s Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness” by Gwyneth Paltrow

Why you’ll be inspired: 

Long before she was crowned a lifestyle guru, actress Gwyneth Paltrow shared her journey of what friend and foreword author Mario Batali calls “blossoming as a mom cook” in this cookbook–cum–celebration. A self-proclaimed foodie (if you can find it, her PBS series Spain…On the Road Again is worth watching!), Gwyneth’s approach in this very personal title is familiar and laidback. 

While there are lots of (mostly) healthy recipes in its pages, this book is truly a love letter to Gwyneth’s father. “I always feel closest to my father, who was the love of my life until his death in 2002, when I am in the kitchen,” she writes. “I can still hear him over my shoulder, heckling me, telling me to be careful with my knife, moaning with pleasure over a bite of something in the way only a Jew from Long Island can, his shoulders doing most of the talking. I will never forget how concentrated he looked in the kitchen, it almost looked like a grimace or a frown if you didn’t know him. He practiced incredible care and precision when he was preparing food. It was as if the deliciousness of the food would convey the love he felt in direct proportion.”

When I think of—and prepare—the foods my own mother cooked for me, her love comes through, even all these years after her passing. And I can almost guarantee there’s someone in your life whose food you equate with love. Flip through the pages of this cookbook to see how a minimal amount of text can introduce each recipe in a meaningful way—all it take is a paragraph to explain why a food matters to you, who it reminds you of, or what memories it calls forth!—and how even the simplest of dishes is worthy of inclusion (like Gwyneth’s four-ingredient, no-cook bruschetta).

Fun quotes: 

“Unlike my daddy, who back in the day thought Oreos and a glass of milk were snack worthy, I became a bit obsessed with providing my kids with healthy, unprocessed foods.”

“This book is meant to channel the ethos of my father by sharing the greatest gifts that he imparted to me. Invest in what’s real. Clean as you go. Drink while you cook. Make it fun. It doesn’t have to be complicated. It will be what it will be.”

Favorite recipe:

Chicken & Dumplings

Buy or Learn More:

My Father’s Daughter: Delicious, Easy Recipes Celebrating Family & Togetherness by Gwyneth Paltrow (2011, Grand Central Publishing)

 

“From the Family Kitchen: Discover Your Food Heritage and Preserve Favorite Recipes” by Gena Philibert-Ortega

Why you’ll be inspired: 

This book is like a primer for family historians who want to preserve their food heritage. Unlike the above titles, the author is not cataloguing her own family foods, but rather she is tapping her expertise as a longtime genealogy teacher. Philibert-Ortega offers up a menu heavy on history and how-to, with just a few (historical) recipes thrown in, and a keepsake recipe journal section meant to be filled in with your own handwritten recipes.

You won’t find luscious food photography or colorful coffee-table book design in this tome, but you will find lots of nitty-gritty insights on why documenting your family’s food heritage matters—and tips for doing it thoughtfully. Chapters include social history (including looks at food throughout time as well as how food traditions vary by region) and deep dives into historical recipes (from deciphering old food terms to discovering vintage advice among old “recipes”).

One of the author’s central themes is that exploring our own family food heritage is an effective way to learn more about our female ancestors: “The stories of women’s lives must be told by more than the government or institutional records they left behind. Their history is best expressed through the traditions, stories, and artifacts that were part of their lives.” Including, of course, their recipes.

Fun quotes:

“One day in the not-too-distant future, your children or grandchildren will be wishing they had the recipe for their favorite special dish you made every holiday because it reminds them of you…”

“Help your family get a glimpse into their ancestors’ lives by researching what food was available to your ancestors and the price of that food.”

Recipe least likely to try:

It’s a tie: Jell-O Cheese Loaf and Imitation Pattie de Foie Gras

buy or learn more:

From the Family Kitchen: Discover Your Food Heritage and Preserve Favorite Recipes by Gena Philibert-Ortega (2012, Family Tree Books)

 

Note: This is an unsolicited review of books I purchased at full price. I did not receive any compensation or free products in exchange, and any endorsements within this post are my own.

 
 
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Life Story Links: September 19, 2023

This week’s curated roundup includes deep thoughts on first-person storytelling, helpful tips for family history preservation, and lots of new biography recs.

 
 

“It’s deeds, not tombstones, that are the true monuments of us as people.”
—Tom Vartabedian

 

Vintage poster with original artwork by B. Lassen produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.

 
 

The power of our stories

CONNECT THROUGH STORY
Here’s an idea everyone—even self-declared family history haters—will like: Skip the libraries and research documents and pick up the phone, instead: How wonderfully enjoyable conversations can put you on the path to preservation.

GRANNY CALLED HERSELF AN ‘OPEN BOOK’
“Although I beseeched her for new stories, I didn’t expect them, because I’d spent hundreds of hours with Granny and knew her well. Or so I thought.” How Louisiana–based Olivia Savoie turned a love of life stories into a career.

RETURNING TO A HALLOWED SITE
“For a long time, I didn’t want to share my 9/11 experience because I was humbled by the experiences of others. But after I wrote my memoir, so many people told me that they had seen themselves in a story that was distinctively mine.”

OUR ANCESTORS’ ‘WHERE’
This free webinar from Utah–based biographer Rhonda Lauritzen, sponsored by MyHeritage, hones in on the power of place, guiding researchers through a series of steps to find the history of buildings and places.

SELF DISCOVERY THROUGH WRITING
“It’s both mystical and humiliating how your novel can know things before you yourself know them.” James Frankie Thomas on discovering his trans identity while writing fiction.

 
 

More than pictures

THE JOY OF REDISCOVERY
“My dad and mom were sort of the glue for the whole family. Now, these photos replace some of the glue that has gone away.” Some fun peeks inside how digitizing family photo archives can unlock memories.

A SECURITY EXPERT’S PERSPECTIVE
“Photos themselves are treasure troves of data.” Usually we think of this as a positive (mining our archives for family history details, for example), but there are plenty of privacy issues to consider when sharing family photos, too.

 
 

Reading & listening recommendations

REAL-LIFE WARTIME MYSTERY
Ever since reading Ruth Sepetys’s book You: The Story, I have noticed more and more novels informed by real family history. Case in point: In Nineteen Steps, Millie Bobby Brown elaborates on a story told to her by her grandmother.

LESSONS IN LOOKING
The Light Room “is not quite memoir, not quite an experimental novel, but a text that synthesizes multiple ways of looking at the same thing, [incorporating] Zambreno’s affinity for research and notebooking.” Thoughts on first-person writing, thinking of yourself as a character, and the idea of documentation.

‘WHAT IT WAS LIKE’
In this “rather extraordinary public love letter to her own family,” Ursula K. Le Guin reads a personal essay she wrote years before about the illegal abortion she had in 1950 while studying at Radcliffe. For those who gravitate to writing to preserve their stories, this video, below, is a wonderful example of hybrid storytelling. Read an insightful introduction to the piece by Le Guin’s daughters.

CHANGING OF THE GUARD
In an exclusive excerpt from the forthcoming biography Romney: A Reckoning, written by McKay Coppins based on extensive interviews, the senator Mitch Romney reveals what drove him to retire; plus, six takeaways from the book.

TEXAS AND HIM
In Larry McMurtry: A Life, a new biography by Tracy Daugherty, the...[subject] emerges as a perpetually ambivalent figure, one who eventually became a part of the mythology that he insisted he was attempting to dismantle.” Read an excerpt here.

GENEALOGY FOR JUSTICE
The Family History Detectives podcast is an inside look at the use of genetic genealogy to reveal hidden truths, solve mysteries, and bring justice. Forensic investigative genetic genealogist Allison Peacock co-hosts with producer Adam Nurre. Binge multiple episodes here, and listen to a trailer below:

FAMILY HISTORY DETECTIVES PODCAST Series Trailer
Allison Peacock/Adam Nurre
 
 
 
 

Short takes


 

 

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One phone call at a time: Family history in disguise

No interest in family history? What if I told you there would be no research involved, no libraries, no family trees—just spoken stories? From mom, from dad?

Having intentional phone conversations with a loved one is a fun and meaningful way to begin to document your family history.

There are people who love spending hours at a time buried deep in the archives of a town’s historical society, scrolling old microfiches at the library, and refining their web search terms relentlessly to uncover a single detail about an ancestor they’ve never met. And then there are people who, well, don’t.

If you fall in the ‘don’t love that’ camp, does that mean you’re a family history hater? No!! Decisively, the answer is “no!”

Do you laugh at stories your dad tells about his childhood? Do you get a funny, nostalgic feeling in your tummy when someone pulls out an old photo album overflowing with memories? Do you hope to one day be able to make your Nana’s lasagna as good as she does? Yes? Of course, you answered “yes!”

There are two big parts to a family’s history—the way-back history detailing your ancestors’ names, birth dates, and (hopefully) their stories, gotten through research (chances are you haven’t met most of these folks); and the current family history of you and your kin, gotten through first-person accounts (from living relatives). Looking back and reconnecting with our roots through research has great power, and I wholly advocate for recording your ancestry in this way (watch an episode of Finding Your Roots on PBS to see just how moving it can be!). But if you’re not into sleuthing, or you simply don’t have the time, you can still focus on recording your CURRENT family history.

Why? Well, for one thing, you’ll be handing a gift to your children and their children: the family history of their closest relatives for them to learn from, to be inspired by, and maybe, to build upon (who knows, that research-loving gene may have skipped a generation!). For another thing, you’ll be doing this for YOU: to take some time to intentionally reflect on the journey you have taken to becoming who you are; to better get to know your parents and grandparents so you can see them as individuals (with all the heartbreak, love, challenges, and joys that come with that); and to cement meaningful connections with your loved ones.

And guess what? It’s as easy as picking up the phone and talking. Sure, you can get together and chat over cups of tea, or talk about family stories in group settings, too, but purposefully devoting an entire hourlong phone call to sharing family history is better. It allows you to easily schedule these talks regularly and ensure you have enough time for story gathering. It allows two people—a questioner and a storyteller—to really tune in to one another, and to go deep. It allows for easy audio recording. 

An unexpected bonus of having these family history talks on the phone? Sometimes it’s easier to be vulnerable and share of ourselves when we aren’t looking anyone in the eye. Have you ever heard that old advice to talk to your teen when you’re driving together in a car? It’s the same idea. Sitting side-by-side rather than across from someone (or, in this case, on opposite ends of a phone connection) feels nonthreatening—no facial expressions to hint at judgment or reaction of any kind. So, yup, even if you’re calling from a smart phone, skip the Face Time and simply hit the digits for an audio call.

 
 

How to conduct family history interviews over the phone

Think you might like to start having some family history conversations with a loved one? Here are a few simple steps to put you on the path to easily recording your legacy:

  1. Decide whom you will interview first.

    Mom? Dad? A grandparent or sibling? I recommend choosing someone who you know will be receptive, who you know has great foundational family stories, or who you are worried may have limited time left (they may be impacted by dementia, for instance, or simply be getting older).

  2. Tell this person what you want to do.

    “I’d like to have weekly/monthly/bimonthly phone conversations with you where I interview you about your memories.” Stress that there’s no pressure to ‘perform,’ and share your reasons for wanting to embark on this family history project.

  3. Create a list of themes you’d like to discuss with your family member.

    Ideally, each hourlong phone call will have a central theme—for instance, childhood, career, family recipes, traditions, military service, home, love stories, lessons learned, etc. Ask them in advance what things they’d most like to share, and tailor the early part of your list to what excites them. You may want to ask your subject to create a life timeline in advance of your first phone call.

  4. Prepare, or don’t prepare.

    You may want to use this list of family history questions to guide your conversations, or create a list of your own according to each talk’s theme. Definitely tell your subject what you’ll be talking about so they have time to let memories simmer, or even dig up relevant photos or letters before you talk. But don’t go crazy with preparation. Ask open-ended questions, listen generously, invite stories, and prompt more with insightful follow-up questions, and you’re guaranteed to gather stories worth saving!

  5. Record your conversations (twice).

    Use two methods to record the audio of your family history talks. You can use a paid service such as TapeACall (bonus: you get accurate transcriptions) to capture sound. Other ways to record audio: Use the phone call option in Google Meet or Zoom to host your call (they each have recording options); or simply put your phone on speaker and hit “record” on the recording app on two devices (your computer and an iPad, for example).

There are a host of things you can do with your family history once it’s recorded, but know this: The most important part is ensuring you capture it in the first place!

I am fairly certain that once you finish your family history calls with Mom, you’ll want to (a) keep talking to her on the regular (that bond is forever!) and (b) start up a new cycle of calls with Dad, Grandma, Grandpop…you get the idea.

 
 
 
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Life Story Links: September 5, 2023

On the heels of the holiday weekend and waning days of summer, this week’s curated roundup is short but rich: Get your dose of personal history news and tips.

 
 

“Writing memoir is one way to explore how you became the person you are and the story of how you got from here to there. Believe me, it’s a good story.”
—Abigail Thomas

 

Vintage poster promoting literacy produced by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.

 
 

Legacies in film

MOVING PICTURES
After watching the British TV show After Life with Ricky Gervais, Montreal–based personal historian Iris Wagner reflected on the enduring impact of videos from departed loved ones.

KEEPER OF STORIES
Texas–based legacy filmmaker Clinton Haby says he approaches his work “with a mindset that it’s sacred, and that future generations are going to want to be consuming this so that they understand where they come from.” Listen in as he talks to podcast host Willie Downs about video storytelling and creating bridges across generations.:

HISTORICAL SELECTIVITY & NARRATIVE
How “two small but potent nonfiction forebears”—documentary films that probe the life and times of those who worked on the original atomic bomb—compare to the blockbuster film by Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer.

 
 

Memories made permanent

HOME SWEET HOME
Did you ever go on a family vacation and plan to make a travel memory book…then never get to it? Last week I shared my top three tips for things to do when you return home to set you up for memory-keeping success later—even if ‘later’ takes a while to come!

LIGHTENING THE LOAD OF FAMILY HEIRLOOMS
“What if we skip the proverbial guilt trip we create by unloading our stuff on our family, intentionally or not, and instead make a plan that will allow everyone to enjoy a trip down memory lane instead?”

THE ACCIDENTAL MEMOIR
“My mother always told us to bring back stories from wherever we went, and the Bronx—what I call the ‘no B.S.’ borough—taught me not to be full of crap, nor full of myself,” says Peter Quinn, author of the memoir Cross Bronx: A Writing Life.

 
 
 
 

Short takes







 

 

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How to create a vacation photo book or travel journal: Part 2

You've just returned from a family trip and know you want to make a travel memory book—just not right now! Follow these easy steps so you'll be ready later.

Organizing photos before you sit down to design your travel memory book will make life soooooo much easier!

Recently I shared Part One of this two-part blog about how to create a vacation photo book or travel journal, in which I shared tips for things you could do during your trip to make your memory-keeping project easier later. Here, in Part Two, I am sharing ways you can streamline your book creation after your trip.

Taking these steps will ensure that when you finally sit down to write and design your travel memory book, you’ll have everything you need conveniently at hand.

Do these things shortly after you return from your vacation to set you up for bookmaking success:

  1. Consolidate all your photos in one place.

  2. Select your favorite photos.

  3. Photograph or scan souvenirs or other ephemera.

1 - Consolidate all your photos in one place.

Download all photos from smart phones and cameras and collect them in one digital space. I use a solid-state external hard drive that I back up regularly to the cloud for this purpose.

Here is a simple folder structure that works great for organizing vacation photos:

01 DAY 1 - Arrive in Rome
02 DAY 2 - Drive to Pienza + Easter dinner
03 DAY 3 - Winery tour + Tuscany exploration
04 DAY 4 - Vespas in Chianti
…etc.

The two-digit introductory numbers at the start of each folder name ensure that the folders will stay in the correct order. I do something similar when organizing photos for my annual photo books:

01 JAN 2023
02 FEB 2023
03 MAR 2023
…etc.

Then, within each of these folders, you can organize your photos into subfolders by theme or subject.

You may also want to create separate folders for images you download from each family member’s phone—that way you can quickly scan for duplicates and know who took each shot. (I recommend gathering these images from everyone’s phone shortly after you return from your vacation—while you may save all those pictures indefinitely, other family members may be more keen to free up digital space, and you don’t want to risk losing their pictures!)

Seem like a lot of work? Trust me, using a smart digital filing system to organize your photos in advance of making your book is way easier than trying to find photos amidst the thousand you took WHILE you are creating that book (a nightmare!!).

2 - Select your favorite photos.

For this one, I generally suggest waiting at least two or three weeks before reviewing your photos with an eye for curation. This emotional and temporal distance will give you a better perspective and allow you to more easily cut photos from your book and select the ones that best tell the story you’d like to tell.

How you mark favorites will depend upon how you store your photos. You may be starring your faves in software such as Google Photos or Lightroom. If you are physically moving your selected digital photos into a folder on your computer, I recommend creating a folder within each thematic folder called OUTTAKES and moving photos you are NOT using there. That way your photo organization system is still in place. And it’s way easier to eliminate photos as you go than to know immediately which images qualify as must-haves!

Don’t stress about this step. Focus on:

  • choosing the best shot from the multiple you have taken of each part of your trip

  • giving yourself options for later—who knows, you may want that horizontal shot to be enlarged across a whole spread…but then again, the vertical version may be just right as a section opener!

  • finding a balance of personality-driven photos (your kids grimacing over a plate of vegetables at your preferred restaurant, say) with gorgeous scenery; of candid shots with stiff posed ones; of color with black-and-white

  • choosing photos that make you smile and that trigger your memories.

3 - Photograph or scan ephemera or souvenirs.

All those ticket stubs, maps, and random notes that you collected on your travels? Now’s the time to go through them with an eye for what will look good on the page and add visual interest to your photo book. 

A ticket stub from a museum that has a Michelangelo sculpture printed on it is much more appealing than an unidentified stub with just text. A train ticket that shows your mileage traveled across Europe is far more compelling than one that simply lists a destination. A receipt that shows the ridiculously cheap price you paid a local villager in the Philippines for your sisal bag may be worthy of inclusion, but forget about most receipts in general.

I recommend scanning all of your paper souvenirs on a flatbed scanner (many home printers with a photocopying function can also scan nowadays, too). Set your parameters to scan full-color, 300dpi, at 100-percent size—this way, you’ll most likely avoid pesky moire patterns when scanning pre-printed materials, and when you place them in your design software, they will run at their actual size (if you create shadows beneath these images, the tickets or other ephemera will look like they are sitting atop your photo book pages, a very cool effect!).

If you don’t have access to a scanner, there are plenty of smart phone apps that can do the job of capturing these small items for print. Check out Google Photo Scan or Photomyne; these free apps enable you to use your phone’s camera to “scan” your souvenirs for use in your travel journal.

 
 

Yay! You’re ready to gather all those notes you took while on vacation (which we talked about in Part 1) and sit down to begin creating your travel book. Whether you choose to print photos to place in a good old photo album (my favorite smaller-size ones are from Project Memory, while great larger, archival photo albums are available from Kolo) or design and print a more full-fledged travel book (with written memories and reflections, of course!), you’ve now got everything you need to begin…and finish…your vacation memory book. Happy travels!!

If you prefer to hand over your keepsakes, photos, and travel journal to have a travel book professionally produced, please reach out to see how we could work together.

 
 
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Life Story Links: August 22, 2023

In this week's curated roundup for family historians and memory-keepers: pieces on the craft of life writing, new memoir reviews, and ancestors’ artifacts.

 
 

“It’s the human imperative, this piecing together of a life. And so, word by word, we lay down our tracks.”
—Dani Shapiro

 

Vintage poster with original artwork by Earl Kerkam produced some time between 1941-1943 by the Work Projects Administration; image courtesy of the Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division, Digital Collection. The posters were designed to publicize exhibits, community activities, theatrical productions, and health and educational programs in seventeen states and the District of Columbia between 1936 to 1943.

 
 

Narrative framing

WRITING PAST PAIN
How do you share your story without hurting others? Megan February, a trauma-informed book coach, offers up eight important things to consider when writing about your life.

‘RE-STORYING INTERVENTION’
“The way that people tell their life story shapes how meaningful their lives feel.” New research finds that there are psychological benefits to reframing your life as a Hero’s Journey.

GREETINGS FROM…
Last week I shared the first in a two-part series about making memory books from family vacations—starting with the top three things to do during your travels to set you up for travelogue success later.

 
 

Things that last

ANCESTORS’ ARTIFACTS
“People don’t give native cultures much credit for their oral processes. When science goes in and verifies something we’ve been talking about for thousands of years, they’re shocked we’ve held onto that history.”

NOTE DISCOVERED IN WALL
Her letter, a whisper from the past, became a symphony that harmonized generations, reminding us all that our words, even from the tender hands of a 14-year-old, can ripple across time to touch hearts we’ve never known.”

THINGS WE KEEP
“Sharing out loud with others keeps the memories alive, passes on the history, and enables people from all walks of life to build connections and consider their own part in our collective human story.” Meet Martie McNabb, the founder of Show & Tales story-sharing gatherings.

LOVE IN THE TIME OF ALZHEIMER’S
“I’m someone that has come here to help you remember who Augusto Góngora was,” Paulina Urrutia tells her husband in the Chilean documentery The Eternal Memory, called “loving, lyrical,” and “intimate” by reviewers. Read an interview with the film’s director here, and see a trailer below:

DIGITAL GHOSTS
“Estate lawyers have long encouraged clients to account for their digital property, but no one has come up with an emotional road map for the burden of inheriting these things.”

ANALOG TO DIGITAL
“Converting [family slides] into accessible digital media launched me on a journey back to my own childhood and the pasts of my parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. That, in turn, is giving me a better understanding of how I became me.”

 

Writing…and reading…our lives

ON FIRST-PERSON WRITING
“And we all change. Stories need nothing else. All you have to add is paper.” For a droll take on the idea of writing about oneself, read this short piece by Rhik Samadder subtitled “What I learned teaching life-writing lessons.”

WRITING FROM AND INTO MEMORIES
“I would save almost everything, the Swedish death cleaners be damned, because these boxes were my inheritance, the stuff out of which my novels are made: old photographs and letters, unanswered questions, ticket stubs, report cards, the unremarkable detritus of ordinary human lives.”

‘A MEMOIR IN EIGHT ARGUMENTS’
“Although I’ve tried to own the fault entirely...I don’t think that take tells the whole story either.” In this excerpt from his new memoir, Chinese Prodigal, David Shih reflects on missing his father’s death.

‘FIRST AUTHORITATIVE BIOGRAPHY’ OF AUGUST WILSON
“If you were interviewing him, you would walk away thinking, ‘I’m the best interviewer in the world!’ Because all he did was talk and tell you these fabulous stories, with these great punchlines and lessons.”

REWRITING HER NARRATIVE
Listen in as successful ghostwriter Lara Love Hardin, author of the new memoir The Many Lives of Mama Love, talks about “her downward spiral from soccer mom to opioid addict to jailhouse shot-caller and her unlikely comeback”:

 
 
 
 

Short takes







 

 

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