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Hello, it’s me—the person behind the brand
Modern Heirloom Books is a business, of course, but it’s a business defined by one person’s mission, expertise, and passion—and I’m pleased to meet you!
While I much prefer candid shots (and, truth be told, being the one TAKING the pictures!), I will occasionally pose for a behind-the-scenes shot like this…so you remember that there is indeed a human being behind my brand.
When I first launched Modern Heirloom Books more than a decade ago, I was reluctant to put my photo anywhere in my branding. I wanted to seem like a “real” company. Despite decades working at a high level in magazine journalism, in this then-new entrepreneurial venture I faced my share of imposter syndrome—and truth be told, maybe I was trying to seem “bigger” than I was.
Who would want to hire a single individual to create their family history book?, my thinking went. They’ll expect a whole team. What if they think I look too young? What if I look too old? What if, by seeing my white face, they jump to the conclusion that I might not be the right person to capture their (fill-in-the-blank) stories?
I was a one-person operation then (still am, though now I rely on a bevy of freelancers when appropriate to allow me to serve more people), but you wouldn’t have known this from looking at my website.
Then, somewhere along the line (maybe as my confidence increased and I had more business under my belt), my thinking shifted.
The aha moment: If someone is going to share their stories via interviews, they darn well want to know who they’ll be sitting across from, right?
This industry that I’m in of capturing people’s stories, preserving their memories and their family history, creating printed legacies…well, it’s come to be known as “personal history.” And “personal” it is.
It makes sense that my business should have a personal feel, as well.
So a few years in I added my name to the company—now it’s Modern Heirloom Books by Dawn Roode. Then I began adding my pictures here and there; despite my discomfort with being photographed, I can now be seen in my element (usually at a computer or wielding an audio recorder) on my website and across my social media.
And the best part? People who reach out to me are reaching out to ME. So many clients call because they read a post about my own journey with grief that resonated with them, or they understand from following me that I will be a compassionate listener. Maybe they’ve delved deep into my experience and like the fact that my approach to writing and editing life stories is contemporary, informed by that lifestyle magazine experience I mentioned earlier. Or maybe they don’t notice these personal details at all.
Whatever the case, they know there’s a person behind the business. And that matters to me. And from what my clients have told me, it matters a great deal to them, too.
Would you like to see if we might be a good fit to work together? Whatever type of life story preservation project you have in mind, remember that all my projects are fully custom—so let’s chat, and see how we can best capture your stories for the next generation. I look forward to meeting YOU 💕
Life Story Links: August 6, 2024
Dawn Roode’s curated news roundup for the week of August 6, 2024, includes stories on the art of being a personal historian, plus recent memoirs of note.
“I believe everyone has stories in them. Little snippets of truth and hope. Lessons and ideas. Happiness and gratitude tied up in the day-to-day mundane magic of life.”
—Laura Stroud
Vintage postcard of a scene at le Château de Saint-Florent-sur-Cher, sent by a U.S. Army medic stationed in France during World War I to his family in Arkansas; courtesy of the soldier’s family.
When past and present collide
WHAT CONSTITUTES AN ANCESTOR?
“I keep the family tree, and I’m flummoxed about whom to include.” The New York Times magazine’s Ethicist columnist weighs in on genealogy, record-keeping, and notions of relation.
INHERITING ‘UNWANTED FAMILY SECRETS’
“In your family,” Lori Gottlieb writes in response to a “Dear Therapist” letter, “the clumsily handled revelation of these secrets has left you feeling burdened (‘Why me?’), confused about what having this family history ‘means’ for you, and uncertain about what to do with this knowledge going forward.” Read how she breaks it all down.
AMERICAN LIVES IN FIRST PERSON
“The Schlesinger Library is home to more than 3,000 volumes of personal diaries. One former curator is on a mission to read—and describe—as many as she can.”
ON LOVE AND DEATH IN NONFICTION WRITING
“In writing—an essay or a eulogy—the lost are alive to us for as long as we wrestle with what to put in.... In handling these incongruous details—which never themselves add up to a life—the departed are, for a moment, as mysterious to us as they once were.”
Personal historians weigh in on working with clients
“WHAT WAS IT LIKE?”
I believe one of the best ways to see if a personal historian is a good fit is to talk to them, get a sense of their vibe, experience, and aesthetic. Second best? Read reviews from others who have worked with them (or in this case, me).
CROSSING THE FINISH LINE
“I’ve been trying to figure out for several decades why some people simply cannot seem to finish writing their memoirs.” Ali de Groot of Modern Memoirs Publishing offers guidance on how anyone can get over hurdles and bring their life story to completion.
From memoir to autobiographical poetry
STORIES THROUGH POETRY
“Elina Katrin’s debut poetry chapbook If My House Has a Voice renders the (un)belonging of immigration, the fluidity of the cross-cultural self, and the sensory core of memories in a vulnerable, mesh-like voice woven from three languages.”
STORIES THROUGH VISUAL ART
“There are no pictures. Everything burned up. There was no floor plan, no drawings or photos of the inside of it.... The only thing that remained was Ann’s memory of it.” An artist helped this Holocaust survivor turn her memories into a painting:
STORIES THROUGH (THEIR OWN) WORDS
Newly released memoirs worth consideration include All That Glitters from art world insider Orlando Whitfield;
Too Good to Fact-Check by former celeb–magazine editor Jeremy Murphy; and The Art of Power by the first woman U.S. House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi.
STORIES THROUGH (A BIOGRAPHER’S) WORDS
Newly released biographies getting some attention (for better or worse) include Christopher Isherwood Inside Out by Katherine Bucknell and Catherine, the Princess of Wales: A Biography of the Future Queen by Robert Jobson.
Short takes
All five-star reviews for Modern Heirloom Books!
What better way to scope out if a personal historian is a good fit for you than to hear about others’ experiences, in their own words? I am humbled and proud.
The clients with whom I work are incredibly private, and I respect their privacy to the utmost. It’s one of the reasons that so many of them aren’t keen on sharing a public review online. Without exception they are willing to send me their testimonials via email, and I have posted many of them on my site and on social media over the years.
But recently I’ve had a flurry of folks who were in fact willing to share their reviews online. I am always humbled by their kind words, their heartfelt appreciation, and their unmitigated joy at seeing their stories beautifully bound in heirloom books, at last. And I am beyond proud of the work I do to help my clients preserve their legacies in this way.
So here, let’s celebrate some of those “jobs well done”—and hopefully give you a taste of what working together could be like.
Some 5-Star reviews on Google
“Working with Dawn to create our family heirloom book was an extraordinary experience from start to finish. Her approach is meticulous and thoughtful. Dawn's dedication to perfection was evident as she conducted thorough research and carefully curated our family history materials and photos. What truly stood out was Dawn's compassionate and collaborative nature. Thanks to Dawn's expertise and unwavering support, the final result is a cherished masterpiece that beautifully preserves our family's legacy. We are immensely grateful for Dawn's outstanding work and wholeheartedly recommend her to anyone seeking to embark on a similar journey.” —Shannon P.
“Don’t hesitate....work with Dawn to write your stories. I had already begun writing my life stories and had gathered photos and then I was stuck. I contacted Dawn and she helped me put it altogether and moved me forward. My family and I love the results!” —Jane M.
“Preserving my father’s legacy and the wonderful memories of family events was something I wanted to do after my dad’s passing, but knew I needed professional help. I envisioned writings from my siblings eulogizing my father and memorializing my parents’ lives, their struggles, celebrations and accomplishments. A book filled with pictures and stories that would relate to the grandkids and great grandkids as they grew up. Fortunately, I got this and more! A beautiful bookl honoring my 95-year-old father’s life. Dawn Roode of Modern Heirloom Books was the angel that worked with me and members of my family who gathered the stories and pictures and gave the bookl the personal tone that captured my father’s essence. Every page is laid out purposely. Not just a collection of writings and pictures but a story about a successful man. An immigrant who achieved the American dream. Thank you, Dawn!” —Ligia F.
“I found Dawn and Modern Heirloom Books through a Google search after a sudden loss of my mentor and supervisor that I loved and admired greatly. I was looking for a tangible way to let my mentor’s family know just how much she meant to her work family and I wanted to present the book to her family at the celebration of life event that was scheduled a few weeks after she passed. I reached out to Dawn with my aggressive timeline and Dawn responded quickly with the details of how we could bring the ideas to life. She compiled tributes from 56 of my colleagues to create a beautifully curated, high quality book that was completed on time. The finished product was so beautiful and well done, I still cry every time I read the PDF. Dawn is a gift and I couldn’t recommend her business highly enough.” —Min P.
“Dawn Roode is an absolute gem. My sister and I wholeheartedly recommend her and her work…. Dawn brought tremendous creativity to her work…. Throughout the process, Dawn was a joy to work with. She listened carefully. She was diligent in working up drafts and gathering feedback. She was unfailingly patient. She brought her own ideas and didn’t hesitate to make suggestions. She even went above and beyond to deal with administrative hassles with printers due to our last-minute requirement changes. She delivered on time and within budget. In every interaction, Dawn conveyed that she cared as much about the book as we did. If you are looking for someone to create that special story or tribute to someone you care deeply about, look no further.” —Jenny P.
“Dawn helped me to create a tribute book for my mom. The process was emotional and painful but she made it a lot easier - from managing the layout of the book and the color palette to sourcing the printer and even finding a way to rush the production of the books. Modern Heirloom is not the cheapest option but what it created is truly beautiful. The book is something I'll keep forever and I could see how much it resonated with my extended family.” —Rich G.
“Dawn at Modern Heirloom Books is a joy to work with. She created a book of our mother’s nativity collection. We didn’t even really know what we wanted in the beginning and she produced an amazing result. It is a pleasure working through the creative process with her. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” —Amy H.
“Dawn was always ready to make the changes that were inevitable when putting a book together, with good cheer. She is quite well organized and intuitively understood order, placement, emphasis vs less. I was extremely happy with Dawn’s finished product and wholeheartedly recommend her.” —Gahl B.
“Dawn’s creativity, warmth, and professionalism helped turn an old stack of yellowed letters from my recently deceased father into the most beautiful book of memories. Her patience with me through this process was so appreciated, as was her genuine care for the product she produced. I highly recommend working with Dawn.” —Kristen C.
Plus a couple via email…
What follows are just a couple of examples of clients who chose not to leave their review on a public platform such as Google or Facebook—something I wholeheartedly respect. I am grateful they were comfortable with me sharing these in other ways, as I do feel it’s the words of those I have worked with who can best convey what that experience is like 💗
This one is from my client Patty, who created family history heirloom books for her grown children as well as her young grandchildren, a way to preserve their family’s legacy for generations.
This one was forwarded to me by my client Jane, who had “loaned” her book to a good friend. I worked with Jane as her memoir coach, then edited and designed the resulting heirloom book.
Life Story Links: July 23, 2024
Personal historian Dawn Roode shares her curated roundup of stories for the week of July 23, 2024: on memoir, family history, biography & memory preservation.
“The reason I write memoir is to be able to see the experience itself…. Writing is a way to organize your life, give it a frame, give it a structure, so that you can really see what it was that happened.”
—Sue William Silverman
Vintage photograph of boy leaning on a fire hydrant in New York City by Morris Huberland, taken in the mid-twentieth century, courtesy the Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
A mosaic of pieces on memoir, personal history, and preservation
HISTORY VAULT
“‘We are absorbed in thinking about our ancestors,’ [Frederic Harrison] wrote. ‘Why do we not give a thought to our descendants?’ Accordingly, he posed his fix: to ‘prepare a Pompeii’ for future researchers to unearth.”
TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF SELF-REFLECTION
“Every person I have guided on a life writing journey has discovered profound benefits for themselves. Even without a single other individual having read their words, those words have changed them.”
SHIFTING PERSPECTIVES
“A memoir needs to be anchored by facts, yet each of our individual stories can be seen from unlimited perspectives with slight shifts.” Mira Ptacin on the hard art of seeing one’s own writing through rose-colored glasses.
FOR YOUR TBR LIST?
“Stars may or may not be like us, but there is one thing they all seem to have in common: they love writing about their lives.” Time magazine names the 36 best celebrity memoirs.
ON CREATIVE DECISIONS IN BIOGRAPHY
“I just think that when you’re writing a biography, you have a duty to the chronology. The chronology is almost fundamental to the whole enterprise, in my view.” Ryan Cropp speaks with podcast host Gabriella Kelly Davies:
WISDOM FROM SEASONED WRITERS
“In my conversations with my family members and knowing their history and their struggle, I remember that I'm somebody and [they’re] somebody. And that's a very powerful thing.” Author Min Jin Lee talks to fellow writers experienced in family memoir generally, and the migrant journey specifically, about how to talk to parents about their personal history. Listen in:
Short takes
No readers, no matter—your life story benefits YOU
Walking down memory lane can be fun, but writing about your life has big benefits beyond that, including making meaning out of your lived experience.
“A story is a map and we the mapmakers plotting the landscapes of our lives,” Mark Yaconelli writes in Between the Listening and the Telling.
Most people who approach me wanting to explore their personal history are motivated by a desire to create a legacy and pass something of value on to the next generation. Whether it’s a full family history or short vignettes from their own life they hope to capture, they’re usually thinking about an audience of their kids and grandkids, or a broader circle of friends and family—the point is, they’re aware of an audience, even if it’s small.
Without exception, though, every person I have guided on a life writing journey has discovered profound benefits for themselves. Even without a single other individual having read their words, those words have changed them.
There are myriad ways writing about one’s life is good, of course. But for now I want to share just two biggies.
2 profound benefits of writing about your life
RECOGNIZING AGENCY
I don’t mean to get all jargony on you when I say you will recognize the agency you have—I guess what I really want to say is that you are the writer of your own life: You make the decisions, pull the strings, choose the paths…but often we forget that simple fact. We (and I readily include myself in this collective ‘we’) can get caught up in the things that happen to us. “I lost my job.” “I can’t get pregnant.” “My father died.”
Yes, things happen—and despite the conventional wisdom, not always for a reason. But one thing that becomes abundantly clear when writing about your experiences is that how we choose to respond is what defines us.
You will see that you are an active participant in your life—you are not just a storyteller, but a story creator.
In fact, this insight is the foundation of narrative therapy. “With this perspective, individuals feel more empowered to make changes in their thought patterns and behavior and ‘rewrite’ their life story for a future that reflects who they really are, what they are capable of, and what their purpose is, separate from their problems” (Psychology Today).
I bet you never imagined that writing about your life will empower you to rewrite your next chapters…but it will.
INFORMING IDENTITY
From beginning to end, life writing is an exploration that leads to meaning-making. The memoirist asks themselves questions such as: Which experiences are worth telling? Why did I behave a certain way? How is that part of my life a story?
Those questions may at first seem like mere steps toward completing your personal writing, but in truth they are foundational to understanding one’s own identity, as Phillip Lopate explains in this quote from To Show and To Tell:
“In attempting any autobiographical prose, the writer knows what has happened—that is the great relief, one is given the story to begin with—but not necessarily what to make of it…. Writing is one way of self-making.”
Through your writing, you will begin to understand the value in your experiences, to see them as pieces of a bigger puzzle rather than as isolated events. As the best memoirs mine individual experiences to get at a universal truth, so too will your writing bring your own world view into sharper focus.
The memories that come to the surface, and the stories you write about them, will be gifts to your family; the insights you discover along the way will be gifts to yourself.
Life Story Links: July 9, 2024
Dawn Roode curates stories relevant to family history fans, memoirists, personal historians, and modern memory-keepers—and this week’s roundup is a must-read.
“Because right now there is someone out there with a wound in the exact shape of your words.”
—Sean Thomas Dougherty
Vintage baseball card of George Herman (Babe) Ruth issued by Big League Chewing Gum in 1933, courtesy Library of Congress Digital Collection.
Ways we remember
THE SUBTLE ART OF DIARY KEEPING
“Those people who don’t destroy their diaries must have some secret need or wish for them to be read, a need or wish which affects what is written in varying degrees.” Helen Fielding considers the place of confessional narrative in today’s literary landscape.
ARE YOU A REMEMBERER OR A FORGETTER?
“My father, who is a Rememberer, says his nostalgia often borders on unbearable. If he thinks of his cousin, who died years ago, he can slip into a memory of the two of them at 6, playing hide-and-seek in their grandfather’s house. It sounds beautiful and excruciating at once.”
ON WRITING MEMOIR
“When my writing reveals something about my life that I didn’t see until it appeared on the page—that’s a great surprise.” Memoirist Rachel Zimmerman answers Sari Botton’s questions about the craft.
DIVING WITH A PURPOSE
“How can finding and telling the lost history of the slave trade help me, as a Black American woman, figure out where I belong—and to whom I belong?” Storyteller and diver Tara Roberts is helping document some of the thousand slave ships that wrecked in the Atlantic Ocean.
Love, loss, and memories
FINDING SOLACE IN STORIES
“No one could have guessed that A Family Story would also become our companion in grief. We leaf through it when we miss dad, when we need to hear his voice, or if we want to share family stories with our kids.”
PERSONAL PODCASTS
“With today's technology, we can all record our loved ones in some form, and I would encourage people to do so, in whatever way they can.” A look at how some families are turning to audio recordings to remember lost loved ones.
‘A GENTLE MAN’
Memoirist Joe Wilkins remembers: “In all my boyhood memories, my grandfather shines. What kept me close to him? What let me so completely trust? What had me listening so that even now I hear his voice?”
Biography & memoir
AN INVITING AND NUANCED CONVERSATION
Sara B. Franklin, at once friend and oral historian to her subject, Judith Jones, grappled “with how to tell the story of a person with a life as textured, documented, and purposefully invisible as Jones’s” in the new biography, The Editor.
SELF AS LENS
Writing about the radicalism of the ’70s in her new memoir, 1974, helped Francine Prose come to grips with who she was and who she is now.
CELEBRATING THEIR QUEER FAMILY HISTORY
“It is through these conversations I discovered what a rare and complex person he was, the intense draw he had.... With determination, I brought my uncle’s story out of the shadows.”
EMOTIONAL CATHARSIS
New York–based biographer Alan D. Bergman discusses the unexpected outpouring of emotions subjects may experience while sharing their life stories.
...and a few more links
Short takes
In conversation about “the gift of family stories”
Podcast host Melissa Ceria and personal historian Dawn Roode discuss the importance of family history preservation and finding solace in stories after loss.
Recently I was a featured guest on the podcast The Loss Encounters, hosted by Melissa Ceria.
Melissa is a French-American journalist and the founder of Studio Ceria, which has created and produced high-profile speaker series for Fortune 500 companies and cultural institutions such as the French Institute Alliance Française (FIAF) and NeueHouse in New York. She began her career as a writer and editor at major fashion magazines, including Harper’s Bazaar, where she and I worked together.
Melissa, as creator of The Loss Encounters, and I, as founder of Modern Heirloom Books, share a love and respect for the power of stories; we found our way to family stories, in particular, via somewhat parallel paths. When my mother died, I was bereft at the loss of our shared collective memory, and saddened to discover that the journals she had left behind were only sparsely written in. Melissa, on the other hand, was bequeathed a precious gift just ten days before her father, Lorenzo Weisman, passed—A Family Story, a book he wrote about their family’s history. It is an heirloom that continues to bring her solace all these years later. “It’s filled with stories, photos, poems, and letters that have brought us comfort and connection,” she says.
Our brief conversation, titled “The Gift of Family Stories,” was released as a bonus episode of The Loss Encounters in honor of Father’s Day earlier this month. It is, Melissa says, “dedicated to my dad, and invites all of us to cherish and preserve our own family stories.”
I share it with you here today in hopes that you, too, will be inspired to cherish and preserve your own family stories. Enjoy!
Transcript
(Edited slightly for clarity)
Melissa Ceria: On a warm September evening in 2012, my dad, Lorenzo Weisman, sat down at his dining room table and dedicated the book he'd written about our family to each of his grandchildren. He died ten days later on September 22nd, 2012. His book, titled A Family Story, is a beautiful account of my family's origins, our ancestors, the long life that my parents built together, and the families that joined ours through marriage. It's filled with stories and photos, poems, and letters. There's a lot of love in it. And I'm glad that my dad didn't varnish things. He just told our family's story by piecing together the mosaic of our lives. I think that writing it also allowed him to review his own remarkable journey, and to feel at peace by the time he died. No one could have guessed that A Family Story would also become our companion in grief. We leaf through it when we miss dad, when we need to hear his voice, or if we want to share family stories with our kids. It's been a huge gift for the grandchildren that never got to meet him. Through this, they know dad and we can all talk about him. A decade after his death, I've been thinking about the importance of sharing our stories with those we love. So I called up my friend Dawn Roode. Dawn is the founder of Modern Heirloom Books. As a personal historian, she helps people write their stories and preserves them in beautifully bound books that generations will cherish. Our conversation felt like the call to action. Collecting our memories is a gift for those we leave behind. Hi, Dawn. It's lovely to have you here.
Dawn Roode: Thrilled to be here. Thank you, Melissa.
Melissa Ceria: Tell me how you got started with this work.
Dawn Roode: I was a new mom, and my son had actually been born three months before my mother passed away. It was a very unexpected death. And so, you know, I was dealing with the supreme joys of motherhood and the lowest depths of grief at the same time. And it was a really challenging time for me. I ended up making a book in honor of my mom. Didn't start out that way. It started out me writing a lot of remembrances about her. I had this feverish sense that I was going to lose my memories of her, and it was so important for me to get them down. And as a writer and an editor, someone who came from that background, that was the natural way for me to do so, was to just write in a journal. But eventually, as I went through her photos, I wanted to make something that was more substantive, more permanent. I knew that my son would never know my mom, and that kind of broke my heart, and that was the inspiration for me to make the actual book. It was such a rewarding experience for me, and I thought I might be able to help other people do the same thing.
[00:03:21]
Melissa Ceria: When people start working with you, are they clear about what they want to communicate?
[00:03:25]
Dawn Roode: It runs the gamut. It's very interesting when someone comes to me and says, "I want to do my story," very often they have a good idea of what they want to share. Almost always, it ends up going in a new direction once the interviews start, because they surprise themselves with what a rich life they've led. "Oh, and I forgot about this." And so the mere act of telling the stories, of me being a curious and engaged listener and asking pointed questions, helps them go in new directions and discover meaning that they hadn't expected in their lives. Other times people come to me where it's the younger generation that wants to preserve their parents’ or their grandparents’ stories, and that's a very different dynamic, where the people come and say, "I don't have a story to tell." It wasn't their idea. They're like, "I have nothing to say. My life is pretty boring, pretty standard." So there's a whole little conversational thing that happens to get them to the right place. And those are even more wonderfully surprising, because at the end they say things like, "wow," I literally had a client say, "I lived a really amazing life so far, and I had no idea." And so that power of reflection, I think is just really transformative. And I look at myself as a guide for them. So I help them find the story and put them on the path to kind of make some narrative sense of it.
[00:04:43]
Melissa Ceria: What are the qualities that support the work that you do?
[00:04:46]
Dawn Roode: So certainly curiosity is one, but I think being a good listener is at the heart of everything that I do. I feel like I hold a sacred space for people. I try to be very generous of spirit with people. I think empathy is another. People are very hard on themselves and I want them to know any of their feelings are valid. The choices they've made are worth looking at with forgiveness, with gratitude.
[00:05:12]
Melissa Ceria: Do you think when we review our own lives, we can be very critical of ourselves? Or do you think we give ourselves more slack?
[00:05:20]
Dawn Roode: You know, it's really interesting. I find when people are writing about themselves, we can be much harder on ourselves. The dynamic when I'm interviewing someone, I can sense when that criticism is coming in, or the reluctance to kind of go in a certain direction because there may be shame or critical thought about a previous decision. What I try to do is empower them that "you came out the other side, and there's a lesson in there for your descendants or for yourself." So the power of two, of me being a listener, I think, helps people find that generosity of spirit for themselves.
[00:05:55]
Melissa Ceria: If somebody isn't prepared to write their own story, or they can't necessarily hire somebody to help them do that, what are some of the ways that we can gather these stories?
[00:06:04]
Dawn Roode: I say to people all the time, it doesn't have to be long. I think that's the biggest thing, is do something rather than nothing, and you can always change it. Four years later you can say, "Oh, you know that thing I have in the drawer? That is something I'm going to go rewrite it." But the fact that you're even thinking about it, I think is always a good start. And then it's just takes some kind of action to do it. And if you can't write, dictate—we have smartphones, so just dictate right into there. There's software that will automatically transcribe it now. And you can leave your voice. Just leave an audio recording if that's easier for you. It doesn't have to be monumental, I think is the message.
[00:06:40]
Melissa Ceria: Do you find that people that you work with, if they are nearing the end of their lives, have a greater sense of peace after they've communicated something to their loved ones?
[00:06:52]
Dawn Roode: I do. It's something palpable that I can feel as our interviews proceed, and as we're getting closer to having something to completion. There's a shift in the way that they are talking about their life. There's a shift and a certain calmness that comes with it. But beyond me sensing it, people have told me that. One client in particular comes to mind who just, he thanked me repeatedly for giving him the space to do this, but I wanted to thank him. I had such gratitude to him for being open about it, and what he was so grateful for was that "I have perspective. That I looked back on my life and realized it was wonderful." What more could you ask for? And what a wonderful thing to tell those that you're leaving behind. There's a great peace that comes from it, and also an empowerment to let go at a certain point when the time comes.
[00:07:46]
Melissa Ceria: Do you think it's in our nature to want to leave messages behind?
[00:07:49]
Dawn Roode: I do, and what I've tried to do through my work and and after losing my mom in particular, is to encourage people to be intentional about what we leave behind so that people aren't scrounging through the emails and their texts in search of something, but that we leave something specific. I think that that holds even greater meaning for both parties. For the person leaving it behind, it gives you a sense of peace that you've said certain things. And for the person receiving that, how wonderful to know that your loved one was thinking of you and that you can hold on to this.
[00:08:21]
Melissa Ceria: It’s not surprising that my dad’s book brings us solace. To Dawn’s point, he wrote it with intention, and the words that he gifted us were meant to offer comfort. I’m so grateful for his gift. This is Melissa Ceria. Thank you for listening.
Life Story Links: June 18, 2024
This one’s worth a bookmark: Thoughts on memoir (limitations, joys, challenges), how and why we preserve our stories for posterity, family history finds & more.
“…writing your life story is not painful, not morbid, and not a sign of vanity. Instead, it is an exercise that will enrich your life and the lives of those who read and learn from it.”
—James R. Hagerty
Vintage photograph of woman picking carrots in Camden County, New Jersey, in October 1938, by Arthur Rothstein, courtesy Farm Security Administration, Office of War Information Photograph Collection Repository, Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division.
Preserving for posterity
REFRAMING OUR STORIES
“My stories are grounded in grief; they are wrapped up in being widowed young or in my family’s Holocaust survival story,” Rachael Cerrotti writes. In this piece she confronts “certain narratives of self” and offers up inspiring writing prompts connected to three podcast guests with different insights about the stories we tell ourselves—there’s lots of great stuff to digest here!
AN INVITATION TO REMEMBER
I spoke with Melissa Ceria of the thought-provoking podcast The Loss Encounters about discovering the richness of our lives through storytelling. Listen in below, or click here to read a transcript and find more in-depth episodes about what we create from loss. (This short episode was inspired by an autobiographical book Melissa’s father bequeathed to his family.)
EVER AFTER?
“Several companies have emerged in the last few years to develop grief-related technology, where users can interact with an AI version of the deceased—but will that help with grief?”
The craft of life writing
WHAT WE REMEMBER
Last week I wrote about why I chose not to recommend one recent life writing book—and while I don’t mention the book’s title or author, I do share the reasons it didn’t make the grade.
GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Having come from a magazine background, I have a particular affinity for a well-written feature profile, and view the form as a cousin to longer-form biographic writing. In this excerpt from What Makes Sammy Jr. Run?, editor Alex Belth hones in on “the golden age of the celebrity profile.”
CONNECTING THROUGH STORY
CBS Mornings’ David Begnaud interviews Louisiana ghostwriter Olivia Savoie about how one series of client personal history interviews led to a special friendship.
Deep thoughts on memoir and biography
FASCINATION, OBSESSION, INFATUATION…
When the famously elusive Elaine May fails to respond to any of a writer’s pleas for interviews, the would-be biographer, Carrie Courogen, “wondered how a person could have such little interest in or curiosity about the person daring to write the story of their life.”
WRITING AS TEACHER AND FRIEND
“Writing feels inadequate, but it is also how you keep your parents alive—in your own memory at least, which is the best you can do until you can get something published.” Grace Loh Prasad on the memoir that took her more than 20 years to write.
LIMITATIONS OF AUTOBIOGRAPHY
“‘The point of view in a memoir is curious,’ [Jill] Ciment writes. ‘The writer must trick the reader (and herself) into believing that she actually remembers how she felt decades ago. A memoir is closer to historical fiction than it is to biography.’”
THE INHERITED WEIGHT OF EXPERIENCES
“The more we learn about how our body and mind work together to shape our experience, the more we can see that our life story is woven into our biology. It’s not just our body that keeps the score but our very genes.”
Family history, community history
DISCOVERING HER ROOTS
“How odd and surprising it might be, to chance upon a part of your own history on museum walls.” How one woman connected with her family, past and present, through the photographs of two men.
FROM FIRE HAZARDS TO FAMILY TREES
“We create maps to make the unfamiliar familiar. To show us how to get home.” This is a wonderfully interesting look at the history and afterlife of the Sanborn fire insurance maps, which have been reclaimed by historians and genealogists seeking proof of the vanished past.
‘COMMON PEOPLE’S HISTORY’
These four entities act as modern digital archives of personal histories in India, preserving stories as diverse as those covering tattoos and homes, family traditions and family heirlooms, through both images and oral histories.
...and a few more links
“At the Coal Seam of Motherhood”: On writing about our children
Dissecting the pitch deck for startup Kinnect, a new app that aims to preserve family stories
BBC One’s Who Do You Think You Are announces 2024 celebrity subjects.
National History Day keeps pushing students to rigorously examine the past.
Read about the launch of digital legacy platform Please Remember Me Forever.
Short takes