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4 Unique family history finds from RootsTech 2024
From a conference hall filled with more than 150 family history vendors, I have hand-picked my favorites—here’s why you’ll love them, too.
This short video, shared on the main stage and online, inroduced the RootsTech 2024 theme, REMEMBER. Hit “play”—and have some tissues handy!
What a whirlwind the past three days have been! I am sitting in the Salt Lake City airport as snow and gusty winds threaten to delay my midnight flight back to New York. I’ve got a notebook brimming with genealogy research tips, a folder of syllabi on my laptop waiting to print, a heart expanded by meeting likeminded family historians and memory-keepers, and eight hours to kill before the redeye boards…so I thought I’d share a quick roundup of some of my favorite discoveries from my first in-person RootsTech.
For those not familiar, RootsTech is a (huge!) family history and technology conference held annually in Salt Lake City, Utah. I’ve participated virtually in the past, and written about some of my reflections on the blog, but being here in person leveled up the experience, to be sure.
Family history finds you’ll want to know about
Here are four finds from RootsTech 2024 that I think you may be interested in:
DISCOVER: Heritage Travel
Kindred Lands’ website offers up sample heritage travel itineraries. Where is your ancestral homeland—and have you been there yet?
I had been planning to take a trip to Prague as well as some small towns in the Czech Republic to explore my heritage—then Covid happened. I’m a bit of a perfectionist, so the thought of designing that vacation—and ensuring I got to see all the things that connected me to my family history AND had a great time—seemed daunting. Well, I will be calling the couple behind Kindred Lands when I am ready to make that trip again. Drawn in by the stunning design of the Scotland book they had on display (and which is for sale on their site—if you have roots in Scotland, I highly recommend buying it for some imaginative travel!), I chatted with them about the impetus for starting their heritage travel company: Their first trip, unsurprisingly, was to explore their own family origins—and now they craft custom trips for others who want to feel a connection to their ancestral homeland. Discover some sample itineraries and request a free custom quote to visit your region of choice at KindredLands.com.
DESIGN: Custom “Vintage” Travel Posters
Four prints for sale in Missy Ames’s Wanderlust–themed Etsy shop; she creates fully custom commissioned artwork, too (perfect, in my opinion, for taking your family history book to the next level).
An overall beautiful aesthetic is important to me when I am designing family history books, and there are occasions when original artwork is called for. Custom maps showcasing a family’s ancestral journey, for example, or an illustration of a beloved home that has been in the family for generations, have made their way into my heirloom books. I was thrilled to discover the graphic design work of Missy Ames while walking the RootsTech expo hall—the framed prints she had on display from her “Wanderlust” collection are reminiscent of vintage national parks posters and ads from the mid-twentieth century. Missy told me that she began her original place-themed posters when she was living abroad. “I wanted to remember the remarkable experiences I had and couldn’t always find artwork that fit what I was looking for, so I started to make my own.” She has an array of designs available for purchase at her Etsy shop, and she is also available for personal commissions (I asked!)—so if you’re working on a family history book and would like some retro-feeling illustrations to accompany your storytelling, consider reaching out to her. I know I will be.
BOOK: A Daughter’s Portrait of Love and Loss
The cover of Nancy Borowick’s book The Family Imprint, while stunning, does little to hint at the photographic splendor within. Click through some images on her site to see what’s within.
I learned a LOT during educational sessions at RootsTech, walking away with a strategic game plan for breaking down brick walls in my German genealogy and new knowledge that I am a Mayflower descendant, for example. What most inspired me throughout the weekend, though, were stories of family connection—and those stories were all around for anyone listening! Perhaps my favorite such stories came from internationally renowned photographer Nancy Borowick, whose keynote presentation you can watch below (please do!!). No spoilers here—suffice to say, Nancy photographed her parents throughout their respective cancer treatments and developed a fluency around talking about death while finding an outlet for her feelings. The vulnerable and glorious images she captured distill a time in her life she wanted to remember, and they also invite us into her family’s experience. “This was our story, but it was everyone’s,” Nancy said. “I grieved with every letter that came in, but I also felt a deep connection with each and every one.” I was thrilled to happen upon her book signing table on my way out of the stage area, and highly recommend getting one for your own coffee table—The Family Imprint is an exquisite piece of art that oozes with authentic emotion and the human spirit.
Watch Nancy Borowick’s moving presentation from RootsTech 2024. “I am my mother’s daughter, and I get to keep that forever,” she said.
SERVICE: Free Genealogy Advice
One of the country’s leading resources for family history research, the New England Historic Genealogical Society, offers free online chat times where you can ask one of their expert genealogists a question, from how to get started in genealogy to where to find a particular record, from clarifying border changes in a particular town to accessing an online database. Find the Ask a Genealogist online chat, including a schedule, at AmericanAncestors.org/chat.
In addition to the above shout-outs, I promise to share in a future post some helpful tips for researching your family history and telling your family stories—I learned a LOT, and I want to pass on some of that to you! What would you like to know?
Are you weighed down by the stuff of your family’s memories?
Boxes of old letters, family photos, and mementos from a generation ago can feel like a burden if they’re passed down without context. What to do with them.
That box of sentimental stuff handed down to you would mean a lot more if you knew the stories behind the stuff, wouldn’t it?
Passing along our stories to our children and their children is a valuable endeavor, and in my experience one almost always met with joy and gratitude (even if not immediately, on occasion).
People with whom I have worked to preserve their stories have told me their family members tell them they “love” their life story books, “cherish” them, are “in awe” of them. When sharing their books, my clients have been met with extended hugs, laughter, dancing (“my father shimmied around the kitchen with glee when I showed him what I wrote,” one individual told me), and even tears.
But often it’s not stories that are passed on, but boxes of things laden with sentiment—and without context, those boxes can take on undue weight.
In recent weeks I have met with one person who told me she had a large stack of letters written between her parents during World War II. She knew that they were written in German, and that her father was in a work camp at the time. She didn’t, however, know what was within those letters, as she has never taken the time to have them translated or to read them. And now, she told me, she wasn’t even sure where they were. “But they haunt me,” she said.
Another person I visited told me her mother had recorded a Holocaust testimony with the Shoah Foundation in the 1980s (well, she said “she told Steven Spielberg’s people about her Holocaust experience”). No one in the family knew how to access it. They did not have a copy. They did not know the name of the foundation. Even her mother did not recall what she may have said during that long-ago oral history interview. Certainly the weightiness of the subject matter may have given anyone pause, but to let such a personal history get lost would be a tragedy.
And yet another current client told me, near the end of her project, that an aunt had just randomly stopped by to drop off a scrapbook that had been lovingly crafted by my client’s grandmother. The aunt was moving to another house, found the scrapbook tucked away in a closet, and, knowing my client was interested in her family history, figured she would be a better custodian of the materials. She was fortunate—many people who feel burdened by their ancestors’ things don’t have a family member with such interest to hand them off to.
As I think about these things—about how we can feel burdened by our parents’ things, about how stories can so easily get lost—I feel a bit sad, yes, and also compelled to spread the word.
Do you have sentimental boxes of family mementos you don’t know what to do with?
First, think about who might be the best custodian of your family’s archive.
If there is an obvious family history buff in the family, see if they may want the items. If not, then ask around—you might be surprised to learn a teenager or distant cousin may have a greater interest than you’d expected. The sooner you can pass the items on to someone who will regard them with interest and respect, the better. (Are you this person? I’ve met numerous people who tell me they have no interest in sleuthing through these “old things,” only to be drawn in as I curiously pull photos or war medals out and show interest in what they reveal!)
Second, do what you can to restore context to the things.
Even if you don’t have the time or inclination to write a whole book, consider labeling photos with names, writing mini-histories of heirlooms, and at least telling your kids what you know of the contents of that old box in the basement. Spend an hour or two with a sibling or parent to record your memories of all that stuff—it can be as simple as capturing audio with your phone’s voice recorder. Spare your descendants the burden of passing down an archive of things they know should have meaning, but not why.
Third, let go of guilt.
Perhaps you were the recipient of such a box of “cherished” things that came to you without context or meaning. Sure, that watch may have belonged to one of your grandfathers, or it may have been a flea market find that he never wore but stashed in a box…but you hold onto it along with everything else because you feel you should. This is a rich topic that could warrant a few thousand words (heck, the comments alone on some articles covering this topic are worth a read!), but in my mind, as long as you move forward with intention, it’s okay to let go of things that hold no meaning for you.
Do you have a dusty box of so-called heirlooms, letters, or family photos that were passed down to you without context? What are you going to do with them?
Further reading on how to be a good custodian of your family history:
All your Write Your Life questions answered
Wondering if 52 weeks of memory prompts will help YOU write about your life at last? Here, answers to the most commonly asked questions about Write Your Life.
Are you wondering if our 52 weeks of memory prompts are the right choice to help you or a family member write about your life at last? Read on for answers to all your questions.
Recently I announced the launch of an annual email subscription of memory and writing prompts called Write Your Life. I have been humbled by your interest, and have learned a lot from the questions people have been asking me via email and Instagram DM. As a result, I have created a FAQ page all about Write Your Life, and have expanded that here to include two more questions I received just yesterday.
If you’ve still got questions, please leave them in the comments and I will respond asap!
Frequently asked questions about the Write Your Life annual subscription
Are the writing prompts in Write Your Life difficult?
No! The prompts in this subscription are carefully curated so they spark memories in a fun way. They are open-ended, which means that every person can interpret them in their own unique fashion; it also means that one prompt might spark so many memories that it inspires multiple stories over many days of writing. We have included tips from writing experts to make the process as smooth as possible for you, but we encourage you to write the way you talk. It’s all about capturing your memories, not writing a bestseller.
How much does Write Your Life cost?
A one year subscription (52 weeks of curated prompts) costs $132, with an introductory rate of just $99 through the end of 2023. Subscribe to our newsletter to be alerted to occasional discount codes or sales.
Do I do my writing online/via email?
No, to keep things as simple and straightforward as possible, YOU choose how you record your stories. There is no app or other software needed for Write Your Life.
Many people handwrite their stories. We recommend a journal dedicated just for this purpose or a loose-leaf binder where you can arrange things to your liking and easily edit.
Other people type their stories on a computer (our fingers can usually work a keyboard faster than we can write). In this case, I recommend creating one document that you update each time you write (don’t forget to back it up to the cloud or to an external hard drive so you don’t lose your precious memories!).
And for some, who don’t prefer to write at all, speaking their stories into a voice recorder (such as the one on most smart phones) is the most convenient option; those digital recordings can be easily shared with loved ones via email, and transcribed with AI software so you ultimately have a written version of your memories, too.
How long will the writing take each week?
As little or as long as you like. Participants may choose to write brief answers that aim to succinctly share your memories, in which case you may spend as little as 45 minutes on a single prompt and create something of value. Or you may wish to luxuriate in the process, spending an intentional hour on the “remembering” portion of the prompts, for example, then writing a little each day, revising and editing to create a polished family history story by the end of the week. Some questions may resonate more than others, too, so one week’s prompt may take longer to write about than another.
What if I can’t stay on schedule?
While we send you a prompt every week, we understand that life can get in the way of even the best intentions—vacations, work, family engagements, even laziness can interrupt your flow. Don’t stress. Simply print out the prompts you have missed—there’s a beautifully designed page to download in every email for this very purpose—and return to it later, when you have more time. The goal is to regularly capture your memories, not to militantly keep to an arbitrary schedule. The best time to start is now, and the best time to finish is…when you can!
Can I pause my subscription at any time?
Unfortunately, we do not currently have that capability. See above on what to do if you fall behind.
Do I have to read the free e-book that accompanies my subscription?
Of course not. You can skip the book and hit the ground running as soon as your first prompt arrives. The e-book, which is delivered two days after your subscription begins, has some helpful tips on how to prepare for your life writing journey, how to sound authentic on the page, and more. It’s 26 pages of goodness, but it’s not required reading!
What types of themes will be covered in my Write Your Life subscription?
Most themes last a few weeks, with prompts within each theme to inspire your writing. Over the course of the year, themes will include: Childhood; Food; Identity; Life Transitions; Fun & Favorites; Lessons, Values & Legacy; plus a handful of creative themes to wrap things up.
I’m buying Write Your Life now as a gift for someone else. How do I make sure the emails don’t start coming to them right away?
If you know when you would like the emails to start (the week after someone’s birthday, for example), then you can specify that date in the form when you make your purchase; their subscription will begin on the date you specify. If you are not sure, then I would recommend buying a gift certificate and letting your recipient sign up when they are ready to begin.
Will I get a printed book at the end of the year?
Unlike some other services out there, Write Your Life does not create a book from your writing. There are two key reasons for this:
The quality of those books is not really great, and the business model those huge companies have is not sustainable for a small business such as Modern Heirloom Books.
I want you to focus on really getting your memories down—being thoughtful about your answers, and enjoying the journey of remembering. Your family members won’t care about the format, they’ll be thrilled that your stories were recorded at all!
I will give you ideas for creating a book or other keepsake at the end of your writing, I promise. And if you’re not the DIY type but want your stories and photos designed in an heirloom book, you might consider hiring us to design your book…but that’s not for everyone, and it’s NOT necessary!
How else does Write Your Life differ from StoryWorth and those other services?
Those services provide family history questions that are valuable and interesting, certainly (I provide FREE guides with many such questions, too). The prompts in Write Your Life are different—they are open-ended memory prompts designed to get you thinking, and to find meaning in your experiences. Each email will include specific sparks to help jog your memory, and writing tips to make the process seamless. All the guidance is based on my decades of experience as a personal historian, interviewer, writer, and editor—distilled so you can make the most of your time.
How do I subscribe?
WHAT if I have more questions?
Pop your question in the comments field below and I will reply when I can!
A year’s worth of memory prompts to help you write your life
Every week you’ll get themed prompts to stir your memories, tips to write your stories with ease, and more! A unique gift for your loved one (or yourself)!
Have you decided you want to subscribe? Click here to purchase our annual Write Your Life email subscription for just $99!
I am thrilled to announce that my Write Your Life annual subscription is now live and available to purchase at an introductory discounted rate!
For years I have offered curated family history questions for free (and that hasn’t changed!). These free guides offer up questions that can be used to conduct family history interviews with loved ones OR as memory prompts to guide your personal writing. If you aren’t yet familiar, I am referring to:
I’ve also got a unique guide designed especially to empower kids to interview their grandparents, one of my favorite resources to date, for just $5.
These free (and almost-free 😉) resources offer a wealth of ideas for anyone interested in preserving their stories—so why would I create something new and expect people to pay for it? While I am committed to sharing complimentary DIY tips and ideas for legacy preservation, I wanted to provide something a little more robust: something giftable (!!), approachable yet chock-full of value, and easy yet rich with potential.
What a Write Your Life subscription offers
The Write Your Life annual subscription offers a full year of weekly emails for anyone who wants to write about their life (even if the longest thing you’ve ever written is your signature!).
There are a gazillion courses to learn the nuts and bolts of memoir writing. This is not one of them. Here the participant will dive right in—to finding their memories and writing their stories.
Every week you (or your gift recipient) will get:
prompts to spark memories in a specific theme
specific (enjoyable!) writing assignments
concrete tips to improve writing and stay on track
…and a dose of inspiration.
PLUS, a bonus printable sheet so you can revisit your prompts any time.
The annual subscription—normally $132, but on sale now for $99—kicks off with six weeks of Childhood Memories prompts, followed by prompts for Food Memories; the third theme explores Life Transitions. From there you will move into themes including Identity; Fun & Favorites; Lessons, Values & Legacy; plus more creative themes to continue exploring your memories.
We’re talking 52 weeks of open-ended memory prompts!
How are Write Your Life prompts different from the free family history questions?
Here’s a quick rundown of how a paid annual Write Your Life subscription compares to the free family history guides on my site, so you can decide which might be right for you:
WRITE YOUR LIFE SUBSCRIPTION
✔ Subscription is tailored specifically to WRITING your memories, rather than family history interviews.
✔ Prompts are delivered weekly to your in-box, helping you maintain a regular memory-keeping practice.
✔ Prompts and questions are open-ended. (Open-ended writing prompts are both inspiring and able to be used multiple times—so if one theme really resonates for you, print your “assignment” and save it to use again!)
✔ Prompts are probing, encouraging you to go beyond surface memories to finding meaning.
✔ Each email includes a simple but relevant writing tip.
✔ Each email includes an inspirational quote on that week’s topic.
✔ Every prompt is beautifully designed as a printable page to add to your personal library.
FREE GUIDES
✔ Guide is tailored specifically to FAMILY HISTORY INTERVIEWS, rather than writing your memories.
✔ Questions are beautifully designed as a printable guide to add to your personal library.
✘ There are no weekly emails, so no accountability, and no help creating a regular memory-keeping practice.
✘ Prompts and questions are NOT open-ended.
✘ Prompts are straightforward rather than probing, encouraging fun memories but maybe not overly thoughtful responses.
✘ There are no writing tips or inspirational ideas to supplement prompts.
Why a Write Your Life subscription makes a thoughtful gift
What could be as meaningful as inviting someone you love to share their stories?! Buying a year’s worth of memory and writing prompts for a family member tells them you value their legacy. That you want to learn more about them. Hear their stories. Connect more deeply.
It’s a great gift idea for the person in your life who is challenging to buy for—but for whom you want to get something truly special.
It’s also a unique way to create something extraordinary for your loved ones—buy YOURSELF a subscription, write about your life, and share what you write with them!! (Don’t you wish someone had gifted you such a legacy?)
How to get your limited-time discounted rate
Through the end of the year I am offering the Write Your Life Annual Subscription for just $99 (regularly $129). There is no discount code needed, and no limit to how many you can buy (gift it to multiple family members, why don’t you?).
More memory-keeping gift ideas
Our recipe card set goes above and beyond capturing ingredients and cooking instructions for your family’s favorite foods. Open the cards to reveal space to record your memories of these foods!
Is it a recipe handed down through generations on your mom’s side? Was it your child’s go-to meal as a toddler? Does the smell remind you of Thanksgivings past, Nanna’s kitchen, or early memories in a special home?
Preserve your family recipes and all the precious stories they call forth.
This 20-page guide is chock-full of good things to help you get your kids involved in capturing stories from their grandparents!
Designed especially for kids ages 8 and up (and we mean way up—you’re never too old to embark on a conversation with your loved ones!), the e-book includes:
• 45 family history questions
• 3 fun bonus activities
• interview recording tips
• historical timeline
• ideas for what to do post-interview
Once you purchase, you will receive a link to download your Kid Kit.
The index card solution to family history preservation
Want to organize your family history archive? This cheap, convenient solution is a great way to record your stories until you’re ready to move them into a book.
Don’t worry, you won’t need a library’s worth of card catalog drawers for your family history records—a simple recipe box (or two) should do!
I’m all about books—I’ve got stacks of them all over my office, my bedroom, my kitchen; I turn to them for escape and for knowledge, for catharsis and for fun; and I write, edit, and design books for a living. But I know that sometimes creating a book may not be the best choice for a specific memory-keeping challenge. That’s where recipe card boxes come in.
Over the many years I have been advising clients on how to turn their family stories into lasting legacy books, I have found a few common occasions when the time is simply not right (yet!) to commit to book publication. In the three scenarios that follow, I suggest buying a simple recipe card box and some blank index cards that will fit within—then using those (easily changeable, inexpensive, convenient) cards to record your stories until you’re ready to move them into a book. (Oh, and even if you find you never get to that ‘ready’ stage, you’ll still have preserved a great deal of your family history in an accessible format…and who knows, someone in the next generation just may take up the challenge of continuing your research and one day creating an heirloom book!)
Three memory-keeping occasions when recipe cards (a.k.a., index cards) are a great tool:
MEMORIES
You want to capture memories for your children in real time.
Are you regularly sharing tidbits about your new baby on Facebook or Instagram? Do you tell stories about your grade-schooler to your mom during weekly phone calls? Do you wish you had created annual family albums for your kids’ earlier years, but never found the time? It’s never too late to start recording family memories—and it’s easiest when you write those micro memories down as they happen!
How to record family memories in a recipe box:
Keep a pen and a stash of blank recipe cards in convenient locations—your bag, your bedroom nightstand, a kitchen drawer—so that they’re always on hand when you need them.
When your child says something laugh-out-loud funny or wise beyond their years, when they achieve something they’re proud of or try something new, jot it down on a card. Be especially conscious of capturing catch-phrases that characterize a certain age, or things that make you smile every.single.time!
If you have a tendency to share these things in real time on your Instagram stories or other social media platform, take a screenshot of the shared memory, print it out, and tape onto a blank index card.
Whenever you can, make physical prints of favorite photos: Ideally, print them at the same size as your index cards so they can be stored behind the memory card it goes with, or print smaller and adhere to a card with a handwritten memory on the reverse.
Use dividers to label months and year, or perhaps have a divider for each of your children—whatever organizational system makes the most sense for you.
Consider asking your kid(s) to contribute something once in a while—maybe they write how they’re feeling on the first day of every school year, or what they hope for on each birthday. Preserving their handwriting in this way is priceless!
Future uses: These memory cards will become not only a cherished family heirloom, but they’ll be resources for you to easily create meaningful gifts in years to come—think a photo montage at their high school graduation, or a memory book on the occasion of their wedding. You may want to use them as memory prompts for YOU to write a book one day, or maybe you’ll digitize them for yourself then tie a ribbon around the box to gift to your child when they buy their first home!
HEIRLOOMS
You want to record the stories of your heirlooms, but can’t undertake a big new project.
Instead, jot down a list of all the heirlooms you hold dear, then tackle writing down their provenance one by one when you have time. That first index card will be like a checklist (that you can add to any time you want!). Each subsequent card will include
a photo of the heirloom
a physical description
who it belonged to (including originally and over the years)
approximate year it came into your family
any associated stories or details that make it meaningful.
You may end up writing about one heirloom per month, or completing a flurry of them at once and then not again for a while—go at your own pace!
Future uses: You may want to one day design a book of all your heirlooms (or have a professional book designer create one for you), in which case you’ll have everything you need in one place. Alternately, as you downsize or simply gift items to loved ones and friends, you may hand them the card that goes with their heirloom—voilà, origin story complete.
RECIPES
You are working towards a heritage cookbook—‘towards’ being the operative word.
Sure, this one may seem obvious (recipe cards in a recipe box!!)…but I encourage you to be more intentional than one might normally be when jotting down recipes. You may recognize your mom’s scribbles, or your grandmother’s shorthand, but the next generation may not. As you cook each recipe, look over what’s written and ask yourself:
Is each ingredient amount clear?
Is cook time accurate?
Have I changed something since I originally began cooking this?
Do we always use a certain brand of an ingredient?
Are there other things worth noting—that you often double the recipe and freeze half, say, or that It can be modified if using fresh rather than canned vegetables?
Examples: Grandma may have used shortening, Mom preferred margarine, and you now use butter; “cook until browned” is only helpful if you have a general idea of cook time, so be more explicit for future recipe readers—“cook approximately 20 minutes, until browned”; “syrup” may obviously denote dark maple syrup to you, but being specific is the key to a foolproof recipe.
A few tips for recipe testing:
I recommend having a single divider in your box—the ones in front have not yet been tested (and marked up), while the ones in back have been.
It can be helpful to cook the recipes with another family member or friend who isn’t familiar with the process to make sure you answer questions that can crop up. (Bonus? Way more fun!)
Definitely write down more than just the recipe—include that “this was Jennifer’s favorite lunch in kindergarten” or that “we’ve been baking this bread every Easter since 1896.” Capturing the stories behind your family’s favorite foods will make this box/eventual cookbook all the more special!
Future uses: You can easily copy recipe cards to gift to your kids when they move out, or compile them in a heritage cookbook that’s professionally printed and bound and distribute among family members.
One instance where I thought index cards might be useful but have since changed my mind: for organizing genealogy materials. Whether you are in the early stages of your genealogy research or just addicted to learning more and more about your ancestors’ lives, every family historian knows their work is never done. It’s the most common reason I hear for why people aren’t ready to create a family history book. I get it! But while using an index card filing system may seem like an elegant solution to organizing lots of changing data, the cards’ small size is too restrictive. Click here for some expert guidance on organizing your genealogical information, click here for some best practices, and click here for ways you CAN use index cards as a handy reference for your ancestry research.
One phone call at a time: Family history in disguise
No interest in family history? What if I told you there would be no research involved, no libraries, no family trees—just spoken stories? From mom, from dad?
Having intentional phone conversations with a loved one is a fun and meaningful way to begin to document your family history.
There are people who love spending hours at a time buried deep in the archives of a town’s historical society, scrolling old microfiches at the library, and refining their web search terms relentlessly to uncover a single detail about an ancestor they’ve never met. And then there are people who, well, don’t.
If you fall in the ‘don’t love that’ camp, does that mean you’re a family history hater? No!! Decisively, the answer is “no!”
Do you laugh at stories your dad tells about his childhood? Do you get a funny, nostalgic feeling in your tummy when someone pulls out an old photo album overflowing with memories? Do you hope to one day be able to make your Nana’s lasagna as good as she does? Yes? Of course, you answered “yes!”
There are two big parts to a family’s history—the way-back history detailing your ancestors’ names, birth dates, and (hopefully) their stories, gotten through research (chances are you haven’t met most of these folks); and the current family history of you and your kin, gotten through first-person accounts (from living relatives). Looking back and reconnecting with our roots through research has great power, and I wholly advocate for recording your ancestry in this way (watch an episode of Finding Your Roots on PBS to see just how moving it can be!). But if you’re not into sleuthing, or you simply don’t have the time, you can still focus on recording your CURRENT family history.
Why? Well, for one thing, you’ll be handing a gift to your children and their children: the family history of their closest relatives for them to learn from, to be inspired by, and maybe, to build upon (who knows, that research-loving gene may have skipped a generation!). For another thing, you’ll be doing this for YOU: to take some time to intentionally reflect on the journey you have taken to becoming who you are; to better get to know your parents and grandparents so you can see them as individuals (with all the heartbreak, love, challenges, and joys that come with that); and to cement meaningful connections with your loved ones.
And guess what? It’s as easy as picking up the phone and talking. Sure, you can get together and chat over cups of tea, or talk about family stories in group settings, too, but purposefully devoting an entire hourlong phone call to sharing family history is better. It allows you to easily schedule these talks regularly and ensure you have enough time for story gathering. It allows two people—a questioner and a storyteller—to really tune in to one another, and to go deep. It allows for easy audio recording.
An unexpected bonus of having these family history talks on the phone? Sometimes it’s easier to be vulnerable and share of ourselves when we aren’t looking anyone in the eye. Have you ever heard that old advice to talk to your teen when you’re driving together in a car? It’s the same idea. Sitting side-by-side rather than across from someone (or, in this case, on opposite ends of a phone connection) feels nonthreatening—no facial expressions to hint at judgment or reaction of any kind. So, yup, even if you’re calling from a smart phone, skip the Face Time and simply hit the digits for an audio call.
How to conduct family history interviews over the phone
Think you might like to start having some family history conversations with a loved one? Here are a few simple steps to put you on the path to easily recording your legacy:
Decide whom you will interview first.
Mom? Dad? A grandparent or sibling? I recommend choosing someone who you know will be receptive, who you know has great foundational family stories, or who you are worried may have limited time left (they may be impacted by dementia, for instance, or simply be getting older).
Tell this person what you want to do.
“I’d like to have weekly/monthly/bimonthly phone conversations with you where I interview you about your memories.” Stress that there’s no pressure to ‘perform,’ and share your reasons for wanting to embark on this family history project.
Create a list of themes you’d like to discuss with your family member.
Ideally, each hourlong phone call will have a central theme—for instance, childhood, career, family recipes, traditions, military service, home, love stories, lessons learned, etc. Ask them in advance what things they’d most like to share, and tailor the early part of your list to what excites them. You may want to ask your subject to create a life timeline in advance of your first phone call.
Prepare, or don’t prepare.
You may want to use this list of family history questions to guide your conversations, or create a list of your own according to each talk’s theme. Definitely tell your subject what you’ll be talking about so they have time to let memories simmer, or even dig up relevant photos or letters before you talk. But don’t go crazy with preparation. Ask open-ended questions, listen generously, invite stories, and prompt more with insightful follow-up questions, and you’re guaranteed to gather stories worth saving!
Record your conversations (twice).
Use two methods to record the audio of your family history talks. You can use a paid service such as TapeACall (bonus: you get accurate transcriptions) to capture sound. Other ways to record audio: Use the phone call option in Google Meet or Zoom to host your call (they each have recording options); or simply put your phone on speaker and hit “record” on the recording app on two devices (your computer and an iPad, for example).
There are a host of things you can do with your family history once it’s recorded, but know this: The most important part is ensuring you capture it in the first place!
I am fairly certain that once you finish your family history calls with Mom, you’ll want to (a) keep talking to her on the regular (that bond is forever!) and (b) start up a new cycle of calls with Dad, Grandma, Grandpop…you get the idea.
More easy ways to gather family history stories from your living relatives:
How to edit your family history so it will make sense 20 years from now
Ready to edit your family history or life story book? Follow these three tips from a personal historian to ensure everything is clear for your descendants.
You’ve written your family history in narrative form (congratulations, that was a major undertaking that took great commitment and effort!!!), and now you’re on to next steps: giving your work a final edit and determining how you will preserve it for the next generation. I’m here to share three things you should do during the editing process to ensure that all your hard work is understood and appreciated by your readers.
1 - Be explicit with family members’ surnames and ages.
Your mom’s sister who was named Margaret but only ever went by Aunt Peggy to you and your siblings was actually called Maggie when she was a little girl. There may be a great story in there (and if, so, try to find it through interviews!), but I’m sharing this example to illustrate how important it is to be explicit when introducing family members (a.k.a., your characters).
On first reference, give a person’s full name, as well as some type of relational status (e.g., “my aunt” or “mom’s brother”). How you approach adding in the relationships will depend on the voice you are using to tell your stories. So, if you have written the majority of your family history in first person, then all of the relationships should be in relation to you—“my paternal great-grandmother,” “my father’s step-sister,” etc. If you have chosen to write in a more neutral third-person voice, then determine who the main character is of the particular story you are editing, and designate all people in relation to them—so, if Mary Smith is your story’s protagonist, you’ll introduce people as “John Joseph Smith, Mary’s older brother” and “Desirae Kensington Smith, Mary’s mother.”
You’ll also want to mention any nicknames that you are aware of—and do so in the most clear way possible. Because imagine you simply say “Aunt Peggy decided to move to Texas…” and a relative who has only ever known her as Maggie is reading this; you run the risk of your character going unrecognized or being confused for someone else. I guarantee the chances of this happening increase exponentially the further your reader gets on your family tree. Your grandchild will have no idea who these people are beyond the picture you create on the page.
I think it is so helpful to include an age—even an approximate age—when orienting a reader at the beginning of a particular family story. Was Aunt Peggy approaching 40 when she had her first child? Was your father just a teenager when his own father died? Again, adding ages in this way is to make it easy for your readers to follow what’s happening. You are abundantly familiar with your characters—they are your family, after all, and you’ve likely been spending a lot of time with them via your research; your readers, however, are not quite so familiar. So seamlessly give them the info they need without having to flip back to see who the heck Mike Jessup is again!
2 - Orient your reader with explanatory help throughout your family history.
Just as your reader two generations on will need help with names and relationships, they, too, will need help with other details you may take for granted. Try to do a read of your material as if you are someone who has no familiarity with your family or their history. What questions arise? Where might you add context to help bring your story to life?
A few examples of details you may want to include or elaborate on:
Beyond a city name, can you characterize where they lived: Was that place in that time a wealthy enclave, a haven for transplants from the big city, a blue-collar town where neighbors watched out for one another’ kids?
Beyond a year, might you add some details that reveal how history may have impacted them? “The year was 1865, and while the Civil War had ended, that reality hadn’t quite sunk in for many who lived in my great-grandparents’ home state of Louisiana.” This could be a great opportunity to take advantage of new developments in artificial intelligence and ask ChatGPT or Google Bard for help describing what a time period or region was like—just be sure to include a directive in your chatbot inquiry to “use only factual information” when generating your answer!
What other parts of your story might be vague or confusing for a new reader? If you don’t think you can identify such problem areas, perhaps ask a friend or colleague to give your family history story a read and mark their questions in the margins. I bet you’ll be surprised by some of their queries!
3 - Provide graphic “cheat sheets” to make things easy for your readers.
Reading an account of genealogical research can seem like an exercise in…well, putting someone to sleep—but sharing stories, not just facts, and providing elucidating information (as described above) are great ways to engage your readers. Another is to include visuals that aid in your storytelling.
Family photos go a long way in drawing readers into a story, of course, but there are other graphics you may want to add. Consider creating:
Family tree charts: This can be as simple as a family chart that is generated through your Ancestry or FamilySearch account. Note that I used the plural here—while, yes, you may include a large family tree showcasing all the ancestors whose names you know, I recommend creating a few smaller charts that are relevant to a specific chapter or story. So if you’re telling stories about your second-great-grandfather Will Shannon, make Will the root of your tree and show just his parents and his siblings; then, in a subsequent chapter when you have an account of Will’s son, your great-grandfather, Marcus, create another family chart with Marcus at the root. Do you see why? That way your reader can easily glance at the chart to orient themselves within the family without really taking themselves out of the story.
Maps: If you’re a die-hard genealogy buff, then perhaps you have insurance maps and land ownership maps in your files—include those if they are clear and they help illustrate some aspect of your family history. Then consider including more straightforward maps—an outline of your country of origin with relevant cities marked, say, or a map of the world with your ancestors’ immigration journeys marked with arrows. There are plenty of resources online to buy inexpensive digital maps, including Creative Market or Fiverr (for custom creations); and you can explore public domain maps from David Rumsey and also around the web.
How to preserve the stories behind your family heirlooms
Whether your family heirloom collection consists of generations’ worth of antiques or a handful of sentimental items, catalog them for the next generation.
Photographing your family heirlooms is a first step in preserving their legacy. You can go as basic as snapping a few simple pictures with your phone’s camera or taking the time to style and properly light your heirlooms like I did with this image of my mother’s rosary beads.
So often a family history book has its genesis when a family decides to downsize. The kids are grown and have homes of their own—and they've yet to collect all the things that have been saved in boxes labeled MEMORIES. Going through those things inevitably sparks some pangs: What are we going to do with all this stuff? How can we part with ANY of this? Will the kids even remember what it all means?
The “stuff” holds stories, and it's often those stories we aim to uncover and preserve through personal history interviews—again, usually before donating or tossing much of the stuff…
Sometimes, though, the stuff matters as much as the stories. Just because you plan to hold onto the physical objects (fingers crossed subsequent generations will want to do the same) doesn't mean you shouldn't still capture their stories!
First step: Make an inventory of all the things you consider heirlooms. Next: Prioritize which ones hold the most meaning and begin to capture their history.
Just a few heirlooms?
>> Capture their stories, one heirloom at a time.
Whether you are writing a full-fledged family history or compiling just a few of your favorite personal stories, consider photographing the heirlooms that mean the most to you and writing about them.
Include each object's provenance:
Who owned it first, and who was it passed down to? Write the list in reverse-chronological order, and include years and locations (where the owner lived) whenever possible—these details are gold for any future family historians.
Where was it made/purchased?
Why does it hold meaning?
Do you personally have any special associations with the item (favorite memories, or stories you remember recounted by a grandparent, for instance)?
Lastly, even though you are including a photograph of the heirloom, write a brief description of the object: material (such as an oak cabinet), model (such as of a vintage pistol or a watch), size, etc. This is especially important if you are getting rid of the item or if it becomes separated from this history you are preparing.
Consider recording all of these details in a binder (one sheet per heirloom, stored in clear archival sleeves) or in a recipe box (one index card per heirloom, with a photo and name on the front and details on the back). Other options: Purchase an heirloom journal to capture all the history (I love this one from Hannah Bergen, who also has an heirloom provenance kit), or hire a personal historian to help you put it all in an heirloom book (reach out if interested!).
Loads and loads of artifacts?
>> Create a family heirloom catalog.
Maybe you are cataloguing generations' worth of heirlooms, or maybe you've got a treasure trove of vintage cabinet cards and other photographic heirlooms to make sense of. If you've got more than 20 heirlooms, consider creating a custom index of all of them.
In some ways, this type of project is as straightforward as the previous recommendation: You'll begin by photographing each heirloom (or digitizing your print photos, if you’re dealing with a family photo collection) and recording its provenance in writing. The subsequent steps, though, will elevate this catalog into a family history tool that will be an heirloom unto itself.
First, take your inventory and create categories for your heirlooms to fit into. These will be used to organize the structure of your catalog and to create a useful index for finding heirlooms in various ways, so be as intuitive and descriptive as possible (and know that some heirlooms may fit into multiple categories). Consider creating tags in various categories, such as:
Time period: Civil War Era, 19th Century, 18th Century, 1960s, etc.
Object type: Furniture, Jewelry, Household Object, Photograph, etc.
Owner(s): [names of specific family members who may have at one time had possession of this object]
Value: Sentimental, Financial, Historical
Second, assign tags from each category to every item in your collection. It may be helpful to use a spreadsheet to record all of this data (this is an especially relevant step when dealing with a large number of heirlooms, as you will be able to sort columns by categories or alphabetically—and therefore more easily generate an index).
Third, decide on the broadest categories to create your book architecture—these will be used as de facto chapter headings and will be reflected in your catalog's table of contents. You may want to present your heirlooms based on branches of your family tree, for example (so you may have broad headings of MATERNAL LINE and PATERNAL LINE, then family surnames used to designate chapters within each of those; or instead organize by type of heirlooms, so your chapter titles would derive from those subcategories (Photographs, Furniture, Jewelry, etc.). Choose what makes the most sense for your distinct collection.
Sound like a big undertaking? It is, but if you set parameters early and tackle a few heirlooms per week, it's a project you can complete in a year for even the largest family heirloom collections!
No heirlooms?
>> (I doubt it. Let’s see…)
It's a rare individual who hasn't held onto something of meaning from their childhood or ancestors. Chances are you just wouldn't think of calling those things ‘heirlooms.’
If you hear the word heirloom and think of a dignified mahogany clock or a great-grandmother's passed-down wedding ring, you're right on—that's an heirloom, and Merriam Webster would agree:
1 : a piece of property that descends to the heir as an inseparable part of an inheritance of real property.
But what about the second dictionary definition?
2 : something of special value handed down from one generation to another.
…and who's to say what holds value? You say, that's who. An heirloom in no way needs to be worth a lot of money! Consider these items that I certainly consider heirlooms:
the grease-stained recipe cards my mom saved (including a few of the ones with recipes clipped from old Better Homes & Gardens magazines)
my mom’s wooden spoon, which I use almost daily
my grandfather’s playing cards
my son’s tattered stuffed lion that holds more love and stories than almost any other item from his childhood.
What sentimental items come to mind for you? Once you've gone a nostalgic journey remembering the stories associated with those, consider recording their stories…and calling them heirlooms.
