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A fun—and easy!—exercise for generating new autobiographical writing
Want a life writing prompt that gets your pen moving AND delivers a trove of future ideas for your memoir? Here it is—and bonus, it's a fun one!
This simple writing prompt will get you typing—and it will provide lots of ideas for future writing, too. All it takes is eight minutes!
A blank page is sometimes—heck, often—all it takes for us to back away from our desk and ignore our writing. But rather than turn to dusting or laundry or making multi-level to-do lists (all active forms of procrastination I have indulged in, I admit), instead, try a writing prompt to get your pen moving.
Writing prompts are so powerful because they are low-pressure (no expectation of publication, no working towards a finish line!); and they are elastic (let your ideas go in any direction you wish, and write anywhere—even during the 15-minute train transfer on your commute).
And while writing in response to a prompt can serve to simply get your creative juices flowing, doing so can also supply you with a bank of ideas for future writing.
When it comes to autobiographical writing, this multi-part writing prompt guarantees to result in a list of topics for you to mine when you sit down to write your memoir in earnest.
An iterative writing prompt for aspiring memoir writers
Get inspired!
For inspiration, check out the Six-Word Memoirs site—it’s chock-full of small-dose mini-memoirs (or order one of their books to keep by your desk).
Set a timer for 8 minutes.
Jot down as many one-sentence memoirs as you can.
If you were to stop here, you’d have brainstormed some ideas you can write about down the road. But if you keep going…
Choose one of those one-sentence memoirs and write as many first lines as you can for that memoir.
Or
Choose one of those one-sentence memoirs and write as many chapter titles as you can think of.
Or
Choose one of those one-sentence memoirs and write as many memories associated with it that you can think of.
…by doing any of these options that build upon the first writing prompt, you’ll likely discover which ideas are most fertile—and which simply don’t have legs.
This approach relies on your gut for idea generation—try to keep your pen moving (or your fingers sweeping across your keyboard) with no thought for editing or deliberation. Don’t worry if the one-sentence memoir you are writing has any merit or potential—just write it. Then write another, and another, until your timer goes off.
If you’ve never done brainstorming in this way, chances are you will love the sense of freedom and inspiration that comes with it (I know I do!). But the best part, in my opinion, is that you’ve now got a rough list of topics to consider: Should I write about this? How about that?
Next step: How to tap your ideas for real memoir writing
Wait at least a few days (that emotional and narrative distance is helpful). Then sit down and review your list of one-sentence memoirs—and all the writing associated with them—and take note of which ones resonate. Which ones make you itch to pick up your pen and start writing immediately? Which one makes you feel uncomfortable in that good way—you know, when you fear diving in but know deep down that there’s something substantive there?
Transfer these ideas to a notebook or new document. Consider this your own personal library of memoir writing prompts. Then: Start writing.
Life Story Links: September 20, 2022
This week's roundup includes plenty of memoir writing—both first-person pieces and guidance—plus photo archive help and family history media recommendations.
“I believe that the urge to examine life lies at the heart of writing. Engaging in this kind of close examination is enormously difficult—but can be enormously rewarding.”
—Alan Gelb
Vintage photo of three children in New York City taken some time between 1940-1979 by Morris Huberland, courtesy of the Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library.
Recording angels
LISTENING TO OUR PAST
In each episode of The Memory Generation, host Rachael Cerrotti converses thoughtfully with someone “about what it means to inherit memories and the power of passing stories from one generation to the next.”
A LIVING EULOGY
“‘Mom, we’re gonna do this differently,’ began my second son, Jason. ‘You know how there is always a eulogy at a funeral? A lot of great things are said. We don’t want to wait until you are dead for obvious reasons.’”
HER STORIES, HER HEIRLOOM
“I came to think of Stella as a modern-day Scheherazade who left me hanging, week to week, as she talked me through the story of her youth.” Michael Frank, author of a book that sits atop my to-be-read pile, One Hundred Saturdays, on the importance—and challenges—of oral history.
Writing our lives
SHIFTS, PAUSES, AND JUXTAPOSITIONS
“Narrative pacing addresses the overall speed of storytelling; emotional pacing addresses the impact of events and their associated emotions throughout the narrative.” Aggie Stewart shares lessons on writing a trauma memoir.
READING LIST
Last week I reviewed To Write the Past, a supportive companion for thoughtful memoirists that promises “to hearten and embolden those who pick it up to set their memories and musings on the page.”
“THROUGH THE LENS OF STORYTELLING”
“As you comb through your memories for storytelling fodder, lean into the uncomfortable and the outright embarrassing.” Artistic director of The Moth, Catherine Burns, is interviewed about what makes a good story.
AWAKENING THE EMERGING WRITER
Of the terrain she covers in her forthcoming book, You, The Story: A Writer’s Guide to Craft Through Memory, YA author Ruta Sepetys says: “It is more about the interior landscape. And through that we all have a story. A day is a story. A year is a story. A life is a story.”
ILLUMINATING HISTORY
“In life as it’s lived, there is no obvious plot; the arc of the past is visible only in hindsight. But in historical fiction, the aim is to capture a story, so fidelity to literal facts and timelines is not always the goal.” In the wake of Queen Elizabeth II’s death, an interesting look at the genre of historical fiction.
“BOY”
It doesn’t go without saying that a songwriter will be a talented memoir writer, but this essay, excerpted from his book Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story, shows Bono has earned his life story bona fides.
Managing your family archive
DROWNING IN A SEA OF PAPERS?
This three-step guide from Family Tree magazine promises to yield a “lean, well-curated family history collection” and includes a handy, printable checklist. to help determine which of your family papers to keep and which to toss.
PICTURE THIS
Albuquerque–based genealogist and photo organizer Hazel Thornton shares her take on the popular photo digitization app Photomyne, clearly demonstrating how knowing what scanning method to choose is all about knowing your end goals.
The big short
WORLDS AWAY
Sometimes all you need for a meaningful remembrance is two minutes, as evidenced by this slice-of-life narrative from sisters recalling growing up in their parents’ Hollywood laundry business:
SMALL BUT MIGHTY
The New York Times offers up a guide for their Tiny Memoir Contest (which runs until October 12, 2022), “How to Write a 100-Word Narrative”: “Step-by-step directions for telling a meaningful, interesting and short true story from your life.” Comment—and experiment—here.
A GAME OF STORIES
Storytelling nonprofit The Moth has added a card deck inspired by themes from their live storytelling shows and workshops—orchestrate your own story slam, or use “the story prompts to encourage lively conversation at your next dinner party or family gathering.”
Beyond family history
RECKONING WITH FAMILY HISTORY IN MEMOIR
“These books uniquely tackle the subject of ancestral legacy, leading readers into social and historical questions as one way of understanding the personal past.” Juliet Patterson suggests eight books that investigate family history with imagination.
STORIES OF HER ANCESTORS
What began as a chapter in Mali Bain’s master’s thesis ended up being a five-year journey to extensively research her own family history and connections to colonization in Canada. Now the British Columbia–based personal historian’s book is available in print or as an e-book.
CONNECTING PAST AND PRESENT
“Once again, [Ken] Burns and company have made history come to life — and reminded us that our life, right now, is indeed history in the making.” The U.S. and the Holocaust premiers September 18.
...and a few more links
The art of questioning: simple tips for conducting interviews from the Audio Transcription Center
Commentary by MTSU Professor Larry Burriss: Will your digital family photos be viewable 20 years from now?
“Change the way we listen”: a TEDTalk from Lifestorian Emma Fulenwider
Australia’s archivist on preserving the nation’s official memories
Short takes
“To Write the Past”: A supportive companion for thoughtful memoirists
This small yet dense self-published book comprises nine essays in which writer Sara Mansfield Taber aims to answer “the questions that plague the memoirist.”
To Write the Past: A Memoir Writer’s Companion by Sara Mansfield Taber
In my constant effort to keep up-to-date with the latest on memoir writing—particularly craft essays and books—I ordered the custom-published volume To Write the Past: A Memoir Writer’s Companion by Sara Mansfield Taber.
The book promises “to hearten and embolden those who pick it up to set their memories and musings on the page.”
To be sure, the eight essays within To Write the Past are thoughtful and at times thought-provoking, and the word “musings” is an apt description of the meandering style with which Taber approaches her topic. (The title’s sub-subheading reads, “Musings on the Philosophical, Personal, and Artistic Questions Faced by the Autobiographical Writer.”)
Book review:
“To Write the Past: A Memoir Writer’s Companion” by Sara Mansfield Taber
Taber is most qualified to write about memoir, having penned two memoirs herself and taught autobiographical writing for more than two decades at universities and in group workshops. As a writing coach she says she “has midwifed hundreds of memoirs into being.”
But her expertise on display in this book is broad, philosophical, pensive. You won’t get tips for creating a compelling narrative or weaving dialogue into your stories. You will, however, feel supported. A sense of “we’re in this together, fellow memoirist” pervades the book.
Some essays spoke more directly to me than others, and I have no doubt certain themes will resonate more with you than others based on your own experience as a writer. Taber approaches her topics, as perhaps one would expect a memoirist to do, firmly rooted in her own experiences writing, publishing, and reading memoirs.
The first few essays gripped me the most—I related to them, as a human, a fellow writer, and a personal historian.
On the topic of why we write memoir (something I often consider and write about myself), my yellow highlighter swept across passages. A few favorite lines, so you can get a taste of Taber’s tone and insights:
“Upon my father’s death, up-wellings of love for him, and for my whole past, swirled into the surges of grief, forming a roaring tide of need—to write.”
“As I wrote, it was as if I was writing about some other girl I once knew well. I sensed that she might be of some use to me even now, many years later.”
And:
“By writing, I dig a pool to catch all the joy and pain that constantly leaks from the years past.”
That last quote in particular captures my own urge to write, and oh, how beautifully expressed!
Taber’s musings on the question of legitimacy (“who am I to write my story?”) were familiar and affirming. On who one should be writing for, her thoughts were arresting and fodder for future contemplation. The essay exploring “the question of truth”—one of my favorite topics to discuss with fellow writers—was less exciting for me; “truth is multiple,” she writes, but I wanted more—more than “this is one story of my life.” (For anyone especially intrigued by the notion of writing your truth, I recommend Beth Kephart’s singular Handling the Truth: On the Writing of Memoir as well as her follow-up workbook, Tell the Truth. Make It Matter.)
The essay that resonated least with me concerned the notion, “Should I write something so personal?” I admit: I haven’t questioned this in my own writing. I haven’t encountered such criticism that Taber seems to have (quite strongly, it would seem) that her self-revelations are “too personal.” Her intense—and lengthy—defenses of getting personal felt overdone, though they may speak to you if this is an idea you, too, struggle with.
Overall, To Write the Past is a comforting and considerate meditation on undertaking to write a memoir. Check it out if you want to commune with a likeminded spirit, and to find compelling reasons to move forward in the face of criticism, doubt, or struggle. “There are so many things that get in the way as we endeavor—valiantly or timidly—to set down our autobiographical paragraphs,” Taber writes. Her essays strive to help you navigate those invasive thoughts, circumvent the roadblocks, and find your way on the path to a memoir—your memoir, finally written.
Why? Because: “A memoir is a prayer, an offer of company, an invitation to dinner. An offering of honesty…to whomever will receive it.” A worthy endeavor, indeed.
Note: This is an unsolicited review of a book I purchased at full price. I did not receive any compensation or free products in exchange, and any endorsements within this post are my own.
Life Story Links: September 6, 2022
Your curated reading list: Kick off September with an array of stories about family history tools, memoir writing tips, and more storytelling inspiration.
“In writing the memoir I had a chance to try to encompass the whirling aspects of my flickering self, to unite my past and present selves, to express a fuller self than I could with my friends and family. Since, with each person we know, we are partial.”
—Sara Mansfield Taber
Vintage photo of a woman holding a baby outside of a building from which they had been evicted, Harlem, New York, 1954. Photograph courtesy of the Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture, Photographs and Prints Division, The New York Public Library Digital Collections.
Family history tools
MAPPING A LIFE
“I started using her iPad to take her to the address of her childhood home in Huntington, Indiana…. Her memories spilled out about people, places, events,” Wisconsin–based personal historian Sarah White recalls in this piece about a newly available app called LifeMapping.
ESSENTIAL FAMILY HISTORY RESOURCE
In her review of Nearby History: Exploring the Past Around You, New Jersey–based genealogist Lorraine Arnold says the book’s progressive, actionable steps are conducive to eliminating that feeling of overwhelm when faced with a large family history project.
Our stories, our selves
ON BIOGRAPHY
“Even when a writer and her subject never meet, excavating a life can uncover hidden truths.” Emma Sarappo on what biography reveals—and how picking a subject can be “like picking a roommate.”
“THE BLESSING OF FEELING LIKE I KNOW WHO I AM”
Upon TV producer David Milch’s diagnosis of Alzheimers in 2019, his family members began “recording his personal remembrances and reaching out to others for stories that could stimulate [his] memories, all in the service of creating Life’s Work,” Milch’s memoir, out this month.
DON’T WAIT, MEMOIRIST!
Last week I wrote about why now is the right time to begin writing about your life—and why you should ignore the naysayers.
MOURNING A GUARDIAN OF MEMORY
“This is my responsibility and my privilege—to be custodian of their memories, to be able to pass their stories on to the next generation.” Phillip Maisel, pioneer of video testimonies at the Melbourne Holocaust Museum, has died.
‘YOU’RE BREAKING MY HEART’
“I am queer, a lesbian, or something, born in 1977 to a young, midwestern mom on welfare and no father. In 2002, I wore orange, my grandma’s favorite color, and brushed her hair as morphine quieted the cancer. The years leading up to this, I tried to come out. But I didn’t.” Read this short, powerful autobiographical essay by Chrys Tobey.
‘I NEVER LOOKED UP’
Holocaust survivor Tova Friedman’s new memoir reflects on life as The Daughter of Auschwitz. Listen in as she speaks with NPR’s Scott Simon (9-minute audio):
...and a few more links
“You’ve Probably Seen Yourself in Your Memories”: Remembering your life in the third person
Asking the right questions to develop primary source literacy
How to list divorced and remarried family members on a family tree chart
A posthumous memoir of actor Michael K. Williams is published.
“This is not a tennis story. This is a human story”—check out McEnroe documentary
Book review: To Fall in Love, Drink This: A Wine Writer’s Memoir
Short takes
Stop waiting, start writing: Why now is the right time to begin your memoir.
Ignore those naysayers who warn that you must be passed middle age to begin writing your life stories: Start your memoir now, no matter how old you are.
“Too often memories die with their owner, and too often time surprises us by running out,” wrote one of our foremost authorities on memoir writing, William Zinsser.
Speaking candidly about the fact that we have a limited number of days on this Earth can be hard—no one wants to contemplate their death or jinx the happy times we’re living in right now. That’s why we come at it sideways sometimes—like with this quote that I often reference, again from Zinsser, because it inevitably—every time—elicits an emotional response:
“The saddest sentence I know is ‘I wish I had asked my mother about that.’”
That resonates with you, doesn’t it?
It is sad to think our mother’s—or father’s or grandparent’s—stories have died with them.
And one day your own kids will wish they had asked you for more: more stories, more details about your childhood, more names on the family tree. But it’s a simple fact that most times our children don’t value our stories until they are older; they don’t invite conversation about it now—but they will cherish them later.
That’s why it’s so important for you to begin recording your life stories now. Whether you write in a journal, work with a memoir coach, or share your memories during a series of personal history interviews, the time to begin is now.
Don’t worry that you are too young—all your stories matter, and you can always write more later, when you’re older.
Don’t worry that you haven’t lived your full life—we are all in the midst of our narrative, and reflecting upon your stories of the life you have lived thus far is worthwhile. “Every event, and certainly every event worth writing about, will always remain tattooed on our neurons. So it is never too early to start giving those events, which are our lives, a form,” Benjamin Moser has written. “It is a homage we pay ourselves. More solid than a memory, a memoir will outlast it, because until a memory is put into words, it remains mist, never shore.”
Don’t worry that you don’t have enough time to write—there are ways to make the time for something as important as your life story.
And don’t worry that you will have more perspective when you are older: “Of course someone will look back at his first broken heart with a different perspective at the age of 40, or 60, or 80. But that doesn’t mean that these perspectives are better, or that our self-understanding travels toward some telos of perfect consummation with every passing year,” Leslie Jamison wrote. “The narratives we tell about our own lives are constantly in flux; our perspectives at each age are differently valuable. What age gains in remove it loses in immediacy: The younger version of a story gets told at closer proximity, with more fine-grain texture and less aerial perspective.”
So don’t risk not having the time to tell your stories. Preserve them now. As Zinsser suggests, “be a recording angel and record everything your descendants might want to know.” Starting…right now.
Life Story Links: August 23, 2022
This week's curated reading list for family historians, memoirists, and memory-keepers of all kinds includes great learning opportunities and a film recommendation.
“Talk to those older generations. We sometimes dismiss that—we say, ‘Oh Grandma, she’s told the same story twenty times.’ Give her a prompt. Say ‘Grandma, what do you remember about shoes?’ … then the narration starts happening. Then the stories start happening.”
—Lisa Elzey
Vintage photo of a Regal movie theater in Southside, Chicago, April 1941. Photograph by Russell Lee, originally for the Office of War Information, courtesy of The Library of Congress Prints and Photographs Division Digital Collection.
In memorium
AN NBA LEGEND’S OBIT
““If he was out dining and got approached by someone asking for his signature, [Bill] Russell’s usual response was to instead ask the person to join him at the table to have a conversation about life. The autograph-seekers almost always declined. Oh, the stories they missed.” Here, photos help tell his personal history.
SHOOTING FOR THE STARS
StoryCorps mourns the passing of Nichelle Nichols, a Black American actress best known for her portrayal of Nyota Uhura in Star Trek. “Her career showed people of all races a future of possibility. Among those she inspired was a young Ronald E. McNair, who became the second Black person to enter space”:
EXPLORER OF AMERICA’S PAST
David McCullough, who said he thought of writing history as an art form, died last week. His obituary tells some of his story. “People often ask me if I’m working on a book,” he once said. “That’s not how I feel. I feel like I work in a book.”
The art—and value—of legacy-making
LET’S FLIP THE SCRIPT
It’s a common but wrong assumption that we’ve all heard as personal historians—that telling one's own stories is “narcissistic” or “self-centered.” Recently I wrote about why, in reality, it is an act of generosity.
THE CRAFT OF PERSONAL STORYTELLING
Storytelling School with The Moth is in session with a story about family and home told by Mariam Bazeed: Watch her story performance, then learn about the principles of ‘show don't tell’ and setting up ‘the world as it was.’
PRO BOOK DESIGN TIPS
Family photos aren’t the only images worth including in your family history or personal life story book. Consider including maps, family tree charts, and beautifully styled shots of your family heirlooms to elevate your book.
First person reads worth your time
WEAVING HIS PARENTS’ LIVES INTO A NARRATIVE
“My parents’ American addresses are a history of friendships and acquaintances: a spare room in someone’s attic, visits to family friends whom they’d heard about but never actually met, a summer job in a small town a few hours away, an opportunity in an unfamiliar, emerging field.”
TRUE STORY, WELL TOLD
“‘We are hearty buggers!’ Jane yelled to the sky.” Wisconsin–based personal historian Sarah White writes this slice-of-life reminiscence about weathering a storm—with tumblers of wine and the comfort of fire—with a friend.
“DON’T DESCRIBE IT, REMEMBER IT”
“A lovely day… I wish it meant something to me, but I am here for the wrong reason, and Venice is like a travel film through which I sit, impatient, waiting for something important.” Mavis Gallant was a dedicated diarist for 55 years; here, take a peek into passages from 1954.
WRITING THE TRUTH
“None of us, other than time-travelers and clairvoyants, can know the future, and most of us have difficulty making sense of our past.” William Dameron on why he wrote his memoir despite discouragement.
In conversation: asking, listening, making space
THE MEMORY GENERATION
“I’m really interested through The Memory Generation of saying, how do we make the past more present in our present? And in what ways might we do that in a shared experience with others?” oral historian Stephen D. Smith says of the podcast he co-created with Rachael Cerrotti. Find the latest episode here.
PERSONAL HISTORY Q&A
“Experienced personal historians combine the expertise of active listening, archiving of artifacts, genealogy, narrative writing, ghost-writing, book production, self-publishing, and more,” reads the introduction to this fun and informative interview with Connecticut–based professional Sarah Merrill.
TIME IS A COMMODITY
“I thought I had time to sit across a table from him and share stories. We had only ever skimmed the surface. We never had really captured his narrative the way I wanted to know it. Yet here we were, boarding an airplane to meet him at his final resting place instead.”
THE MAGIC OF STORY
“I can’t wait to foist this book on everyone,” Anne Lamott says of Between the Listening and the Telling: How Stories Can Save Us, a new book by Mark Yaconelli. Listen in as they discuss the transformational nature of stories:
Tokens of memory
WAYS OF LOOKING AT FAMILY
Maud Newton, author of Ancestor Troubles, says that many old family photos fed into her “obsession with ancestors.” Here she discusses visual inspirations for her memoir, including two specific old photos and a will bequeathing 12 slaves.
STEPPING INSIDE A PHOTOGRAPH
Musician Kevin Morby talks about how photography inspired his latest album, how he found ways to immerse himself in the memories of family, friends, and famous people, and how those memories became songs.
PUBLIC ACCESS
“The name of the game for any archive is to preserve and make available.” How the St. Louis Kaplan Feldman Holocaust Museum is making every Holocaust story, memory, and artifact in their collection sharable.
Looking back, finding meaning
A PORTAL BETWEEN TWO ERAS
Three Minutes: A Lengthening explores “the ways in which moving images can bring the past into the present, connecting us with human beings whose time on Earth was brutally cut short.” Watch the trailer:
THE MEMORY METAVERSE
“While studies suggest that traditional reminiscence therapy can significantly improve the well-being of older people, V.R. has the potential to make it more immersive and impactful. By putting on a headset, Mr. Faulkner could walk along the virtual Cliffs of Moher in western Ireland, just as he’d done with his wife several years earlier.”
“A MAP FOR THE MISSING”
“How do we fill spaces when there are deaths in our lives, or when we have people in our lives who don’t give us the answers, or who don’t give us the clarity that we’re looking for?” An interview with Belinda Huijuan Tang, who turned to fiction to help fill in the gaps in her own family history.
...and a few more links
Tuesday, September 6, 2022: “Researchers Remember” virtual book talk
A librarian collects all the things left in books, from love letters to old photos
Tips for parents on how to use family photos to encourage kids’ storytelling
Beth Kephart launches new series of Zoom webinars, “The Story of You”
Family business origin stories and the power of nostalgia
Short takes
The best graphics to add to your family history book
Beyond family photos: Consider adding vintage maps, family tree charts, and professionally shot images of special heirlooms to your family history book.
Shooting some of your family’s most treasured heirlooms for your book not only provides beautiful visuals to accompany your stories, it ensures that the details of those heirlooms will get passed on. These happen to be my bronzed baby shoes from 1970.
One of the more fun parts of putting a family history book together can be deciding what to include to visually illustrate your family’s stories.
Your first line of business is to sort photos and memorabilia and digitize it. (Some helpful resources for that include “How to Decide Which Photos to Use in Your Life Story Book” and, if you’re still in the early stages of planning your book, “How to Organize Your Family Archive as a Resource for Your Life Story Book.”)
Once all that’s done, consider these three types of visual media to add color, texture, and graphic appeal—all while helping to tell your stories clearly—to your family history book:
Family tree charts
Family tree charts can be a simple ancestor chart such as this one, embellished with an illustrated tree and roots; or they can be extensive all-in-one genealogy documents listing multiple generations, with all relations including ancestors and descendants (the larger a family gets the more challenging it can become to print an all-in-one tree in your book; in that case, multiple graphics of each family line are recommended).
As the steward of your family history, you are abundantly familiar with the names of your ancestors—and, more importantly, of their relationships to you. But consider this: Future readers of your family history book will be separated by generations from their kin, and will not intuitively understand those relationships. A graphic family tree chart provides them with a visual reference that they can easily flip to for confirmation—Yes, that is my two-times great-grandmother!—and clarification—No, Great Uncle Pete was actually on my paternal side!
Search Instagram, Pinterest, and Etsy for “custom family tree” and browse the myriad styles out there. You’ll want to create a family chart that feels consistent with your book’s design (is it modern? traditional? fun?)—so either emulate one you like in your preferred design software, or hire a graphic artist to create one for you. Many designers provide you with a large-scale print to be framed but will also provide a high-resolution digital file for you to include in your book for an extra fee (trust me, it’s worth it!).
Photographs of family heirlooms
No doubt you’ve got some heirlooms sitting around your house that hold meaning (of course they do, otherwise why hold on to them?). Families often pass down the lore behind family heirlooms via good old oral storytelling, and I’m all for that. But to ensure that the provenance of those heirlooms, and the stories they hold, don’t get forgotten as new generations inherit them, it’s key to record their details.
A few notes on heirlooms: The word ‘heirloom’ connotes for many an item of import, and often one of high monetary value (think of Great-Grandfather’s grand piano or your mom’s passed-down diamond engagement ring, for instance). Value can derive from more than money, though (think of the family Bible in which family members have recorded—in their own handwriting—births, marriages, and deaths for more than a century; or the family recipes on grease-stained index cards that are pulled out every holiday).
Make a list of all the heirlooms, big and small, that hold meaning for your family (and remember, some may be kept at the homes of other family members). Then, decide on an approach for preserving their stories.
One idea: Use your smart phone to take clear photos of all the items (some from multiple views), print those out, and write their details on back (include who it originally belonged to and to whom it was passed down; any relevant dates; and bonus points if you also record a narrative remembrance about the heirloom, as well!). Make copies of these for interested family members, and store one in a bank vault or safe location so it’s secure in the long-term.
Another option: Use a high-quality DSLR or hire a professional photographer to get beautiful shots of your heirlooms to include in your family history book. For this use you want to capture photographs with studio lighting (pro-grade lighting set-ups are now easily portable, so photographers can bring them into your home) and that show strong detail. You can either create a full chapter devoted to your heirlooms and their stories, or you can pepper these photos throughout your family history book, including them where relevant (a shot of Grandma’s well-loved wooden spoon near her stories of holiday cooking, perhaps, or a close-up of that third-generation quilt near the ancestor who worked on it).
Using proper lighting and adding props to your family heirlooms help make the resulting photos worthy of inclusion in your heirloom book. How much more boring would these blue glass rosary beads be if they were shot simply from above on a table with your smart phone?
Heirlooms can be unexpected—such as this gorgeous glass doorknobs shown here: “I was born into the bedroom with the glass doorknob and I didn’t leave it until I got married at age 23,” the subject remembers; she uses the object as a jumping-off point for stories from her life in that home (she even took the doorknob with her when the house was sold—a true heirloom).
Historic maps
Reproducing maps within your family history book will help orient readers to the geography of your family and add a wonderfully historic feel to your book. Fair warning, though: While there are numerous resources for finding royalty-free digital maps spanning centuries, you’re in for some intense research to find exactly which map(s) will best illustrate your family history.
This article, “Old Map Collections That Every Family Historian Should Know About,” is one of the most comprehensive and helpful, listing 11 sources for researching vintage map collections.
One of my favorites is the David Rumsey Map Collection, which includes more than 150,000 maps that you can easily download and use. The interface can feel overwhelming, but there are gems to be found, including 1950s road maps from Shell Oil Company and
The Library of Congress map collections home page is a little more straightforward to navigate and has advanced search capabilities. Here you’ll find everything from maps and charts from the time of the American Revolution to fire insurance maps that get granular with street-level details; from WWII military situation maps to railway and other transportation maps.
You can also purchase basic city and country maps from stock photo agencies or freelance illustrators, or scan in maps from your family genealogy archive. Always be sure to check copyright details to ensure you have legal permission to reproduce chosen maps in your book.
An example of a vintage map you might include in your family history book: This one is an 1872 topographical map of Adams, Brown, Highland, Pike, and Scioto Counties in Ohio, originally published by Stedman, Brown & Lyon, Cincinnati, 1872; courtesy of David Rumsey Historical Map Collection. The Rumsey collection allows for downloads of varying sizes so you can ensure you have the highest resolution for printing in your book.
Writing about your life is not a selfish act
It’s a common but wrong assumption—that telling one's own stories is “narcissistic” or “self-centered.” Truly, preserving your legacy is an act of generosity.
Writing about your life is an act of generosity, period.
When I meet someone new and the inevitable question, “What do you do?” comes up, I get two very different types of responses when I say, “I help people preserve their stories.”
Some people are intrigued and excited: “Oh wow, I never heard of that—how fabulous!” and “I wish I had captured my parents’ stories!”
Others are baffled and even, sometimes, indignant: “I don’t have any stories that would be of interest to anyone else” or “I’m not a celebrity, so why would I tell my story? It’s so narcissistic.”
I’m here to tell you—with confidence and years of experience to back me up—that your stories matter, and it is NOT narcissistic to tell them. In fact, sharing your stories is an act of generosity.
Here, two distinct ways to think about writing about yourself as a positive endeavor rather than a self-centered act:
Flip the script: It’s selfish to withhold your story from your descendants.
Are there things you wish you knew about your grandfather? How would you feel if your mother passed on a book of stories and photos about her life? Can’t you imagine your own kids engaging with stories of the great-grandparent they never had the privilege of knowing?
It’s a rare gift to receive such a legacy from a loved one.
“To share our story with someone is to say, you matter to me,” Rabbi Steve Leder writes in For You When I Am Gone.
So, I ask you to consider how blessed your descendants will feel when you take the time to preserve your own life stories for them. Let them know you as a full person with lots of lived experience, not just as their father or grandmother.
“Yours may be the words that relieve another’s isolation, that open a door to understanding, that influence the course of another’s path,” Tristine Rainer writes in Your Life as Story. “If you write an autobiography for a great-great-grandniece not yet born, perhaps she will find it in her mother’s drawer, and she will be altered, perhaps even saved, through the wisdom you have sent her.”
Give your descendants this gift.
Your life is worth considering—for you.
“What a poorer and less beautiful thing life would be without the stories and values of the people who loved us and whom we loved most to carry us when they are gone,” Rabbi Leder says. Indeed.
But you know what? Carrying those stories within ourselves has value for us as individuals, too. Self-reflection—which is very different from self-aggrandizement—allows us space to look back on our experiences as growth and learning experiences.
Our lives are works in progress; and while our own story is continually being written, it is worthwhile to dive in RIGHT NOW to bear witness to our own journey, to allow our stories from the past to guide our decisions in the future, and to help us make sense of our experiences.
Barbara Haight, a foremost expert on the study of life review, asserts: “For many who reminisce, the story—the end product—is the most important outcome, but for others it is the therapeutic process of revisiting and reconsidering memories which is more important.”
So consider writing about your life for you. Write towards meaning, without thought for publication or sharing. Discover pieces of yourself on the page, and find joy and purpose in communing with your past selves.
If you’d like help with your life writing, please reach out to see how we can work together. No matter where you are in your personal history journey, I can help support and guide you.
Dawn Roode’s curated roundup for the week of Sept. 23, 2026, is overflowing with recent reads on memoir, life story writing, and family history preservation.