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Life Story Links: May 31, 2022
This week's roundup by personal historian Dawn Roode includes inspiring first person reads, memoir news, and pieces on the intersection of life and story.
“We listen with different ears when we can feel and believe that a story is true.”
—Editors at The Moth
Vintage postcard depicting sea bathers in Avalon, Santa Catalina, California, circa 1903. Courtesy of the Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints and Photographs: Photography Collection, The New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Our Lives, Our Stories
THIS IS YOUR LIFE
“Suddenly, ordinary lives are of note,” The Guardian reports in this look at the growing personal history industry; moreover, “the way we tell stories of our lives can shape our memories.”
A STORY, DISTILLED
“Memoir writers tell what happened, what we feel about it, and what we learned. We hope our lessons are universal. We must always look beyond events to the layers below.” Lessons from revising a 100-word mini-memoir for The New York Times.
WHERE’S MOM?
Too often these days moms aren’t represented in family photos, leaving a regrettable gap. Mali Bain, a personal historian in Canada, shares a recent life story book that put one grandmother “center stage, as many mothers and grandmothers are in our own childhood memories.”
TWO STORYTELLERS, IN CONVERSATION
“Our memories are anything but fixed—and when stories are passed down to a new generation, their malleability, their meaning, and their impact change, too”: One of my favorite interviews I’ve conducted to date, with memoirist and podcast host Rachael Cerrotti.
Asking the Questions
AN AUDITORY SNIPPET OF LIFE
“As a journalist, I have spent many hours in front of other people’s grandparents recording their stories for work. Usually the offspring are there with me and express a fascination at all the previously untold and hidden stories that come tumbling out of their elders when the right questions are asked. This was the first time I had recorded my own.”
INTERVIEWER EXTRAORDINAIRE
Terry Gross, host of NPR’s Fresh Air, “has perfected a singular kind of interview; she is part conversationalist, part therapist, and part oral historian…. Above all, she is a great listener—attentive, probing, without ever feeling intrusive”:
Memoir Morsels
TASTY READS
Cookbooks are becoming more memoir-like. These hybrid books bring readers “on an emotional journey. Then they get to leave with a recipe and actually eat the food; that’s a really intense, intimate connection between reader and writer.”
NEW MICHAEL CIMINO BIOGRAPHY
“Every biography could be two books rather than one—the work itself and the nonfiction making-of detailing the journalistic adventures that yield the biographical record.” A look at a new biography of the director of The Deer Hunter and Heaven’s Gate.
First Person Reads to Inspire
A FLASH ESSAY FOR MEMORIAL DAY
“The world was sleeping, we were deploying, ocean-crossing.” With staccato pacing and gut-punching language, Laura Joyce-Hubbard writes about serving her country: “We were always leaving.”
FINDING LOVE (BY ACCIDENT)
“My very first date with Produce Man landed on the second anniversary of my father’s death. I took this as a sign that my father had sent him from the heavens and it was bashert, the Jewish term for ‘destiny.’”
Stuff, Stories, History
“ACCUMULATION OF LIFE”
“If it was just junk, it would not be so hard. But possessions have meaning; they tell stories and reinforce our memories.” A look at the “emotional challenge to dealing with the treasure and trash that your parents leave behind.”
A HOUSE’S HISTORY, REDISCOVERED
Leslie Stahl turns the 60 Minutes lens on the story of how an Air Force veteran discovered his new house was the seat of a plantation where his ancestors were enslaved. Plus, the original article that inspired her piece: “An old Virginia plantation, a new owner and a family legacy unveiled.”
SAYING SORRY WITH DUMPLINGS
Salt Lake City–based personal historian Rhonda Lauritzen was close to her brother growing up. “Then we weren’t,“ she writes. “I made mistakes, caused some deep hurts, and I never really said the words I’m sorry. So I said the words.” And cooked Grandma’s dumplings.
...and a few more links
He co-founded Covid Stories Archive to combat what he saw as biases and limitations of Congress’s proposed COVID-19 American History Project Act.
Preserve your memories with these easy scrapbooking ideas.
In his latest email newsletter Tucson–based video biographer Steve Pender looks at using Zoom for legacy audio recordings.
Legacy: In Memory of Roger Angell, 1920-2022
Short Takes
On the ever-changing nature of our stories: In conversation with Rachael Cerrotti
Our memories are anything but fixed—and when stories are passed down to a new generation, their malleability, their meaning, and their impact change, too.
“It’s the best part of storytelling for me, that it’s never going to stay the same.”
—Rachael Cerrotti
Memoirist and host of the podcast “We Share the Same Sky,” Rachael Cerrotti
Rachael Cerrotti knew her grandmother Hana’s story when she was growing up. Hana, or Mutti, as she was called by her loved ones, was a Holocaust survivor. She visited schools to share her testimony with young students. She spoke with Rachael about her past.
But stories have chapters, and they are received differently by different people at different times in their lives. Stories can be told one way to a group of students, and another to a young, devoted granddaughter. Those same stories may take on an entirely new mien when handwritten in a private journal, captured in the moment with no distance for reflection.
What is Hana Dubová’s story, then?
Well, of course, there isn’t just one.
Rachael—a granddaughter, photojournalist, podcast host, and author—has explored her grandmother’s story faithfully. During her college years, cognizant of the fact that Hana was getting older, Rachael began getting together regularly with her grandmother, recording their conversations along the way. After Hana passed away in 2010, Rachael says she spent the first half of her twenties on her bedroom floor in Boston, going through Hana’s diaries and the rich archive she left behind. She would eventually retrace her grandmother’s footsteps, traveling through Europe and getting to know, intimately, those who knew Hana and her story. As Stephen D. Smith, executive director of the USC Shoah Foundation, writes in the foreword to Rachael’s book, We Share the Same Sky, “She made her grandmother’s homes and hiding places her homes, her places to hide.”
I have recommended We Share the Same Sky in a formal review and gifted the book to friends; I have extolled the podcast—a must-listen for anyone who values stories and family; and recently I was fortunate enough to chat with Rachael about the (inevitable, frustrating, and beautiful) flexibility of memory.
The same stories may hold different meaning for us at different times in our life.
“The story has grown up as I have grown up,” Rachael writes in the preface to We Share the Same Sky.
While Rachael gradually reveals Hana’s story to us, she also weaves in her own perspective and life changes, making for a poignant and powerful meditation on the meaning of inherited trauma and the elasticity of memory. She writes to her grandmother: “Your diaries and letters are the literature of your past, and each tells a slightly different story. I read and reread your stories as if they were fables, modern-day fairy tales that are constantly changing meaning. Every time I open to a familiar page, I read the words in a new way.” And isn’t that the nature of all family stories?
Often I talk about the enduring value of our stories: When we hear stories from family members about their experiences, we usually ruminate longest over the ones that feel the most familiar to us. Rachael echoes this during our conversation, admitting that if she is one day blessed with being a mother and a grandmother, she will most certainly see her grandmother’s stories in a new light again with each milestone.
When Rachael revisited her grandmother’s testimony after her husband’s death, she found new meaning, new depth there: “It was guidance and it was permission and it was warmth, and the words just carried everything within it,” she said.
“I think we're all drawn to stories that impact us in some ways and that feel relevant,” she said.
“We all kind of hold onto the stories that we need to hear, and I think a lot of us dig into our past trying to reckon with something or to try to understand ourselves better,” Rachael said. “Realizing that our memories are malleable gives us some ownership over them, different than just being resigned to them.”
Beyond fact-checking: Our narratives hold truths, even when they are contradictory.
While We Share the Same Sky is based on Rachel’s own experiences and research during her immersive travels as well as her grandmother’s personal writing, she did not turn to libraries or historical records to fact-check her grandmother’s stories (except for instances when an occasional age or date did not cohere).
“What I was always drawn to was the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell our kin, and those have nothing to do with the archives,” she told me.
In the book, she writes: “There are cracks in all our memories; sometimes they are exposed by our own inconsistencies, sometimes they are challenged by other people’s perspectives, and sometimes they change with time.”
Indeed, have you ever reread an old diary entry only to wonder, Did I really write that? Or even, Did I really feel that? Has the way you have told a single important story—say, coming out of the closet as a teen, or emigrating to a new country—changed over time? With time comes perspective, and with perspective comes a new way of regarding our experiences. Each telling of our stories reveals new truths.
“Stories do not have to be stuck in time,” Rachael said. “There are so many versions of stories that can all contradict each other and still all be truthful.”
Our ancestors’ stories become our stories.
One of the things that drew me to Rachael’s body of work, I told her, was how she deftly wove Hana’s story into the fabric of her own. Stephen Smith recognized this, too, writing: “What Rachael seemed to know is that her jumbled identity was not a godforsaken hand-me-down but a tapestry of individual stitches that needed to be understood to appreciate the whole. As you read this book, you will see each of those colorful stitches painfully embroidered into her life one by one.”
“Originally this was a story of people that had passed away,” Rachael told me. “This was a story of history. And then getting to meet all these people and having them meet my curiosity where it was at—that was this invitation to keep coming back.”
“These relationships don’t stop because you’ve stopped writing the story,” she said. “The story doesn’t end because you send it in to the publisher. That’s that chapter, and that’s okay.”
Hana’s life has informed and shaped her granddaughter’s. And Rachael has honored Hana’s legacy by revealing the nuances and truths in her diaries, and by encountering—and re-integrating—her stories again and again. In the epilogue, she writes directly to Mutti:
“I have completely lost myself in your story, creating for myself an experience out of each of your retellings. What started as a simple family history project has become this web of community. When I pull a thread in one part of the world, the story in another place changes. Your memories have become my landmarks, the symbols of my own past.”
Each of us is writing our own narrative, transitioning from one chapter to the next, weaving our ancestors’ stories into our own. I hope you will read We Share the Same Sky with this in mind, and—as Rachel hopes, as well—inspire conversation and story sharing between not just grandmothers and granddaughters, but among generations of your own family.
Discover Rachael Cerrotti’s work
Listen to her podcast of the same name.
Follow her on Instagram for updates on her life, upcoming appearances, and future endeavors.
And perhaps most exciting, Rachael is launching a new podcast this week, called The Memory Generation, subtitled “Conversations about our memories.”
Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases from Amazon.com.
Life Story Links: May 17, 2022
For memoirists: Writing tips and inspiring first-person reads. For family historians: heirloom books themes and photo stories. This week's curated reading list.
“…writing has become for me a primary means of digesting and integrating my experiences and thereby reducing the pains of living, or if not, at least making them useful to myself and to others. There is no pain in my life that has not been given value by the alchemy of creative attention.”
—Melissa Febos
This vintage photo of boys on a tricycle in New York City was taken by Morris Huberland circa 1950. Photograph courtesy of The Miriam and Ira D. Wallach Division of Art, Prints, and Photographs, New York Public Library Digital Collection.
Preserving our stories
OUT IN NOVEMBER
Bono reads an excerpt from his memoir Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story, due to be published in November. An animation from Bono’s own drawings accompanies his words from the chapter titled “Out of Control,” which tells the story of how Bono began writing U2's first single on his 18th birthday, May 10, 1978:
THE DANCE OF MOTHERHOOD
Stories don’t always have to be told with words. In this gallery, photographers capture their own experiences as mothers through pictures—self-reflective, narratively engaging, and vibrant.
WHICH STORIES TO TELL?
From life story books to a family history collection, from travel journals to heritage cookbooks, last week I offered up 10 favorite heirloom book themes to inspire those who want to preserve their stories but have no idea which stories to focus on.
PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES
Head to “storytelling school” with The Moth: This lesson offers tips and exercises for telling a good story from a photograph, as well as a storytelling video to inspire.
HISTORIAN TURNS FOCUS ON HIMSELF
“An American Childhood…succeeds as memoir by carefully narrating the protagonists’ experiences as they perceived them as children and as teenagers, not filtered through subsequent informed and reasoned understanding. It succeeds as history by gently noting the faultiness of those perceptions.”
TASTY MEMORIES
“I feel like our kids know Nana still, because…they know when we make the chocolate chip cookies from her cookbook, those are Nana’s cookies.” Minneapolis–based company preserves food memories with personalized cookbooks.
Shadow play
GENEALOGY PROBLEMS
“We know that ‘race’ is a social construct. We need to acknowledge the ways in which ‘ancestry’ is, too.” The New Yorker looks at the “twisted roots” of our obsession with ancestry.
HOLDING THE PAIN
“I like to think it is the solemn duty of a writer to record stories that need to be heard, but it has occurred to me over the course of this work that listening and bearing witness to trauma is the duty of all citizens in a community. It’s what connects us.”
First-person stories that captured me
“DEAR MOM…”
“I’ve missed my mom every day, but suddenly the pain of not having her felt acute, a pain that I turned against myself for being a lousy daughter.” Twenty-four years after her mother's death, Liza Deyrmenjian writes a letter to her mom.
“THIEVES”
“I sit, I lie, and memory rises, memory merges. My marooned mother. My marooned self.” Beth Kephart sets up two parallel situations—seeking answers, sleuthing patterns, writing her way to truth
LESSONS FROM HER FATHER
“Growing up, my father took me to libraries the way other fathers took their kids to the park or the movies. It wasn’t just that he loved or appreciated them—he believed in them like some believe in churches, religions, God.”
Pieces of the past
A RECKONING WITH CLUTTER, GRIEF, AND MEMORIES
The New York Times has curated a selection of letters from readers recounting stories of dealing with a lifetime of possessions—their own or a loved one’s—and the memories and emotions attached to them.
THE URGE TO COLLECT
Enjoy this conversation about the urge to collect, the stories embedded in certain objects, and how some items can unearth stories from the person who covets them:
LOOKING BACK
On this episode of Canadian podcast Now or Never, the hosts explore how reading love letters from the 1920s is helping one woman deal with heartache; talk to three siblings digging through the contents of their childhood home; and talk about how pieces of the past can help shape your future. Listen in.
Miscellaneous
INTERESTING THEATER REVIEW
The main character of this Chicago stage production “considers memory to be a kind of photography.” The action of At the Vanishing Point hinges on an old photo discovered at a garage sale, linking characters across time and place.
...and a few more links
How a debut graphic memoir became the most banned book in the country.
Read an excerpt from the new book Anna: The Biography, about Vogue editor (and my former boss) Anna Wintour.
Nostalgic remembrance: old photo brings back memories of Grandma’s pies.
How a Holocaust survivor finally learned her own birth name.
Pandemic sparks autobiography for Delaware State professor.
Ethics considerations for conducting research for your narrative nonfiction among friends
Consider a family history book series to preserve your family heritage.
A best seller in France, Camille Kouchner’s memoir The Familia Grande is an indictment of incest that started a national reckoning.
Personal stories of hardships endured in WWII Japanese internment camps told through augmented reality exhibit in Los Angeles.
Read the newly released Spring 2022 issue of Creative Nonfiction.
Get a free guide from Rachel LaCour Niesen, founder of Save Family Photos: “3 Simple Steps to Backing Up Your Family Photos.”
Short takes
10 Heirloom book ideas to preserve your family history
From life story books to a family history collection, from travel journals to heritage cookbooks, our founder lists 10 of her favorite heirloom book themes.
Maybe you’ve thought about preserving your own or your family’s stories in a book for the next generation. But where to begin? How to narrow down a topic?
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Here are 10 of my favorite heirloom book themes, and I’m willing to bet one of them jumps out at you as just-right for your situation. And if not? No worries, all of our books are fully custom, so let’s chat.
A family cookbook—complete with the stories behind the recipes—is a great option for families whose love language is food.
1 - a heritage cookbook
Be transported to the kitchen of your childhood! Celebrate dishes that have been passed down through generations in a bespoke book that weaves your family’s cherished food memories with nostalgic photographs and handwritten recipes.
2 - LOVE STORY
Perhaps you were bequeathed a beribboned stash of your great-grandparents’ love letters. Or maybe it’s your own love story—how you met, how you choose one another every day, maybe how you almost didn’t meet—that you’d like to share. Let the love flow...
Record your journeys in a travel book so you can revisit your memories from the comfort of home (and inspire the next generation to travel in your footsteps).
3 - travel journal
Are you a voyager? Don’t just make a photo album; record memories. Wherever your journeys take you (an African safari? The Maldives? Alaskan glaciers?), our travel books help you not only remember the places, but relive the moments—and ‘travel’ back there from the comfort of your home.
Your stories matter—tell them in your own words, and they will resonate with loved ones for generations.
4 - your words, your stories
Whether you’ve written a full-on memoir (if you’re partway through, we can help you finish!) or want to capture episodes of your life through a series of personal interviews, tell your own story. It matters. To you, and to those you love. Now is always the right time!
Honor a loved one’s memory by preserving tributes in an heirloom book that you and your family can open any time to feel closer to them.
5 - in remembrance
Is there a family member who has passed that you would like to honor? Let’s gather written tributes remembering them with dignity, humor, and grace, then curate photos that capture their spirit. Bound with love, this tribute book will become your most cherished heirloom.
6 - FAMILY HISTORY BOOK
Have you caught the genealogy bug? Consider this: It is highly unlikely your ancestors will be thrilled to sort through 18 boxes of census records and ship manifests, no matter how meticulously catalogued they are. They will, however, read a story. So give them one.
7 - home is where the heart is
As Henry Louis Gates, Jr., says, we are all immigrants. Do you know where your ancestors were born? Have you taken a heritage trip? Perhaps your family lived on the same NYC block for generations. We can bring the stories of your homeland to life, so they are never lost.
8 - LESSONS LEARNED
With experience comes wisdom. By reflecting on the full journey of your life—including challenges overcome and opportunities missed—you leave a legacy that the next generation can both learn from and find inspiration in. Go deep, and be rewarded deeply.
9 - CONVERSATIONS WITH GRANDMA
We’ll conduct interviews with your grandmother or other family elder, gather memorabilia, and find the narrative thread that best captures her story, then weave it all together beautifully. Don’t wait until it’s too late to ask questions.
10 - places in the heart
This book makes your favorite place the central character and gives meaning to the phrase, “If these walls could talk…” Think a beloved family vacation home, a longtime sleep-away camp, or the college you’ve all (multiple generations!) attended.
Life Story Links: May 3, 2022
This week's curated reading list is heavy on quality articles to help you tell your stories well plus inspiring first-person reads and interesting legacy takes.
“I am fooling only myself when I say that my mother exists now only in the photographs on my bulletin board or in the outline of my hand or in the armful of memories I still hold tight. She lives on beneath everything I do. Her presence influenced who I was and her absence influences who I am. Our lives are shaped as much by those who leave us as they are by those who stay. Loss is our legacy. Insight is our gift. Memory is our guide.”
—Hope Edelman
On this vintage postcard, horse-drawn carriages idle along Richmond Avenue at Bergen Point Ferry in Staten Island, New York. Image courtesy of the Irma and Paul Milstein Division of United States History, Local History and Genealogy, The New York Public Library Digital Collections.
Your stories, well told
TELL A CAPTIVATING STORY
“Leveling up our storytelling game can lead to more meaningful connections.” Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to tell a story, from an idea to delivery, from the editors of The Moth’s new book, How to Tell a Story:
DOUBLE THE STORIES
While I interview people for their stories regularly as part of my business, a big part of my mission is to inspire and empower families to conduct such interviews themselves. Last week I offered tips for interviewing a couple (your parents, say, or one set of grandparents) together.
TWO TALENTS TRADE INSIGHTS
“I’m not going to share [traumas from my life] for the sake of sharing.... I’m sharing what needs to be shared as part of this story. To do right by the story I’m creating, I’ve got to put in the right ingredients.” Marion Roach Smith interviews Mary Laura Philpott about how to write a memoir in essays. Listen in:
In their own words
“SWEET SPOT”
“I bummed rides home after practice. I bummed clothes, snacks, socks, money for the vending machine, and anything else I needed to survive.” This personal essay from Jennifer Shields transported me with time-specific details and a powerful remembrance of adolescence.
HER SERBIAN GRANDFATHER
“During the Nazi occupation, the Gestapo chose our hotel for their headquarters. I haven’t decided if it’s a sign of disrespect to that past, or a mark of triumph that we’re staying here now.” Julie Brill remembers a childhood interrupted by genocide.
THE DRIVE TO SUCCEED
“It has dawned on me lately that insecurity is one of the biggest killers of art,” Alice Walker wrote in October, 1977. Take a deep dive into her journals with this reflective and engaging piece in The New Yorker.
STILL LIFE
Award-winning writer Jhumpa Lahiri talks about a few of her favorite things, including a book she bought when she was 12 years old and “a road map to how to write” from a university professor.
Beginning, ending
NEW ITALIAN SURNAME CONVENTIONS
“Italy had until now carried “a story of male biographies,’ [one Italian official] said. “The surname is part of one’s identity and personal history, a story that we can now pass on written in the feminine.’”
WHAT IS LEGACY?
“Surveys conducted show that when faced with end-of-life planning, Boomers (and older generations) are more concerned about the loss of their values and personal history than the loss of their wealth,” personal historian Clémence Scouten writes in this pub from the Philadelphia Estate Planning Council (scroll to page 11 for the article).
MEMORY FLASHBACKS OF DYING
A patient whose brain waves were being studied by doctors died suddenly during the recordings; the resulting scientific data may be consistent with our idea that our “life flashes before us” just before death.
Miscellaneous
TESTIMONIES ON THE BLOCKCHAIN
The first Holocaust museum in the metaverse aims to use NFTs to transform survivors’ tragic memories into artistic visual presentations.
COOKING UP THE PAST
A new film premiering June 1 as part of the Tenement Museum’s annual fundraising gala will focus on food traditions, family stories, and local history; virtual attendance is donation-optional. The film, which looks at the American immigrant experience through the lens of food, was inspired by Padma Lakshmi’s visit to the Lower East Side museum, as featured on this episode of Taste the Nation:
...and a few more links
Holocaust survivors ask Israel museum to return one-of-a-kind Haggadah.
The LIFE Picture Collection is launching a non-fungible token (NFT) collection of its legendary photography.
Apple Photos adds “sensitive locations” filter to Memories functionality.
Check out this free hour-long webinar from Creative Nonfiction managing editor, Hattie Fletcher, on writing long-form.
Short Takes
Double the fun: Interviewing Grandma & Grandpa together
Sitting both of your grandparents down together for a family storytelling session can be fun—but it’ll yield the best results if you follow these simple tips.
Conducting family history interviews with a couple such as your grandparents or parents can be a fun endeavor if you ask the right questions.
I am always thrilled when I hear you have a plan not just to interview one family elder, but to gather stories from multiple relatives. One of the most common goals is to interview a couple—perhaps it’s your parents, or one set or the other of your grandparents. If that’s on the agenda, you may be wondering: Can I interview them together?
Short answer: Yes, you can interview two people together.
Here, though, is a longer answer with tips for when this dual interview approach works best, and when it’s better to stick to conversing with one person at a time.
When dual interviews are okay
It’s absolutely okay—fun, even—to conduct joint interview sessions, especially with couples who have been together for a long time. If you plan to interview your grandparents on both sides of your family, for instance, invite your maternal grandmother and grandfather to sit down together for the first interview session. This will take advantage of their storytelling dynamic to get them excited about sharing.
If you are concerned that your family members may talk over one another, let them—at least for a bit. Their banter is likely the product of years together, and capturing it on film (if you are recording video) or in audio (if are using a voice recorder) is an accurate representation of how they interact. Imagine years from now listening in and thinking, “Oh, that’s so him!!” If you can’t follow the progress of their storytelling because they are interrupting or speaking at the same time, gently prod one or the other to take the lead, then ask a follow-up of their partner after.
A couple’s shared history can be explored in a joint interview: Ask questions that apply to their time together (their marriage, children, and holidays, for example), but save questions about their individual histories for their solo interviews.
Once that first interview session is transcribed, highlight sections that resonate but that you’d like to hear more about, and develop your questions for the next individual interviews from this transcript—it will help guide you on what to ask.
When joint interviews aren’t the best option
I would not recommend conducting all of your interviews in this fashion, with more than one subject at once, as it often prohibits one person from diving deep into their stories.
Maybe dad gets quieter when mom is around; it could be deference, or simply habit. He may think she is a better storyteller than he is, so he lets her take the lead. I guarantee you he has something substantive—or funny, or clarifying—to add, though, and he may just be more likely to do so in a one-on-one setting.
Other times dual interviews are not ideal:
If the couple’s relationship is strained or difficult.
If one person is hearing impaired.
If you are wanting to explore more about their personal histories rather than their shared family history.
When interviews must be conducted remotely.
If you’re only planning on conducting one interview (you’ll get better—deeper, thoughtful—answers during a one-on-one interview).
Preparing for your family history interviews
Whether you choose to begin with a joint interview session or not, you’ll want to be prepared with the right questions and optimal equipment. Here are a few resources that should help:
interview questions
Use this set of family history interview questions as a basis for forming your own list.
Pick an opening question that will set the right tone for your interview.
Interview setup
THE KID KIT: Everything you need to interview your grandparents
This 20-page FREE e-book is designed for kids 8 and over (and we mean way over!). Get ready to start connecting…
Life Story Links: April 19, 2022
If you're into family history, memoir, and memory-keeping, you'll want to check out this week's list of stories hand-picked by personal historian Dawn Roode.
“As for how to actually organize your memoir, my final advice is, again, think small. Tackle your life in easily manageable chunks. Don’t visualize the finished product, the grand edifice you have vowed to construct. That will only make you anxious.”
—William Zinsser
Vintage black and white photograph of a young girl in Illinois, spring 1962, by Francis Miller for Life magazine, © Time Inc.
History in our homes…
SUGGESTED INTERVIEW QUESTIONS
Mali Bain, a custom publisher in British Columbia, shares ten open-ended questions to ask in a family interview session so you may “naturally follow up on ideas without struggling to find a suitable next question or getting lost in brain fog.”
BEST PRACTICES
Before any family history interviews can begin, there’s a little prep involved. Read how professional oral historians set the stage for effective storytelling and secure saving.
THE FAMILY KNOWLEDGE GAP
A new survey from Ancestry.com found that while more than half (53%) of Americans can’t name all four grandparents, 66 percent of respondents said they want to learn more about their family history and over half (51%) want stories about when their ancestors were young.
“THE ITEM IS THE VEHICLE TO THE STORY”
“I can say this firmly: Along with your stories, your family members are going to want some of your possessions. They just might not be the ones you'd expect.” Matt Paxton on the sometimes surprising stuff of legacy.
HER GRANDFATHER’S STORIES
“He had taken to telling his grandchildren many, many stories. Unfortunately, at that time, we brushed it off, even choosing not to sit with him at restaurants, so that he would not ‘bore us’ with yet another story. But here we were—confronted, for the first time, by death. This protector, this legend and all his stories had a deadline.”
MAKING TIME
Think you’re too busy to write about your life? Think again. Here are three easy ways to make memoir writing more approachable—and more efficient, so you can finally fit it into your busy schedule.
HER UKRAINIAN HISTORY
In light of recent world events, StoryCorps looked into their online archive to explore Ukrainian voices recorded with their interview app. Here’s one:
…and history in a broader sense
LEGACY OF SILENCE
“A society can forget on a mass scale, not when the government imposes amnesia as a political project, but when people refuse to look within—to dig into the messy and complex family biographies that turn memory into a landmine, and forgetting into a psychological salve.” A compelling piece about historical reconciliation and one man’s discovery of a lynching in his family.
JEWISH BEACON HISTORY WALK
In researching the origins of the first and only synagogue in Beacon, New York, historian Anna Brady Marcus and her team uncovered a rich history of Jewish enterprise in the town. To coincide with its centennial, they have released a digital walking tour derived from a rich catalog of oral history interviews.
What we keep
OTHER WRITER’S WORDS
“If keeping a journal would be a way to look in the mirror and make an honest appraisal of myself, keeping a commonplace book is more like looking at myself out of the corner of my eye.”
PHONE PHOTOS
“You’re you, and your pictures are yours, and what you bring to a photograph is not separate from it.” So when attempting to curate your digital gallery, “scroll your roll, and find the pictures that please your eye and touch your heart and stir your feelings because you’re you”—and keep those.
DO YOU NAME YOUR POSSESSIONS?
“Some researchers believe that people write a biography of themselves with things, that our life stories aren’t complete without the items that matter to us”—but do we really need to name those things?
THE WELTY COLLECTION
A trove of letters from Eudora Welty’s family that has been made newly available to the public provides insight about the author’s parents; her siblings and their families; her grandmother and great grandmother and their children.
IS THAT GRANDMA?
How fun to follow the lost-and-found journey of a family photo album via this Twitter thread (click through to read the full thread):
Personal essays of note
WHOSE STORY IS IT?
“Day had written his family history after conducting archival research and reading the relevant sociocultural experts; I wrote mine after growing up in my family.” Tad Friend on a relationship reconsidered by reading between the lines.
KNOWING NIRVANA’S FRONTMAN
“‘Who put these fingerprints on my imagination?’ Elvis Costello once sang. I didn’t want someone else’s fingerprints on my memories [of Kurt Cobain],” Michael Azerrad writes in this New Yorker personal history column.
AN IMPULSE TO CONNECT
In this personal essay on Oldster, Robert Burke Warren recalls an impromptu visit he made to his estranged grandparents at 19. He writes of connection and gratitude and “compassion delayed.”
In the books
BACKDOOR MEMOIRS
“When writers get away from what’s going on inside their head, they just might see their own life in a new light and find something universal in the personal”: nine nonfiction authors who set out to investigate the outside world and ended up finding themselves.
BOOK REVIEW OF NOTE
“Ancestor Trouble represents decades of research into genealogic records, genetic science, and the cultural history of ‘ancestor hunger’ and reverence—as well as [Maud] Newton’s own coming to terms with how to face and honor her family history,” reads a review on NPR. This one in the NYT describes “the preoccupation of the entire book” as “the periphrastic construction of identity itself.”
...and a few more links
Read an excerpt from Osman Yousefzada’s memoir, The Go-Between: A Portrait of Growing Up Between Different Worlds
Austin–based video biographer Whitney Myers is profiled in this regional magazine Q&A.
A life documented: Winkfield, an enslaved man in colonial Virginia
Tech startup uses artificial intelligence to enliven family photographs.
The unique challenge of designing a book by incarcerated writers
Ohio mother and son pen personal history book about mom’s memories of living through Nazi-occupied France.
What the New York Public Library is doing to save the sounds of the early 20th century.
How to save time with these eight translation tools for genealogy.
Short Takes
Think you’re too busy to write about your life? Think again.
Three easy ways to make memoir writing more approachable—and more efficient, so you can finally fit it into your busy schedule.
Want to commit to writing your memoir? Let’s do this together! I’ll give you three ways to make the process more efficient so it takes less time; and you need to say “yes” to carving out space on your schedule. Ready?
We live in a culture of busy-ness—we’re all busy, all of the time. But are you allocating your time to things you love, or to things that satisfy others in your life (your boss, your children, your spouse, your friends)? I won’t pontificate about why I think it’s important to be mindful of the trap of busy-ness, but I will offer some tips for making time to focus on a passion project you’ve been thinking about for a while…and cross my fingers that you take steps to get started, at long last.
In this case, I am suggesting three ways to make time for writing about your life—but if your goal is something else creative, many of these tenets hold true.
Want to write your memoir? Do these 3 things to make the time.
1 - Set small goals.
Forget about the memoir you envision, with that favorite childhood photo of you on the cover, and that dedication to your beloved mom. Don’t even think about what printer you might use, or where you will end. Instead, focus on one story at a time.
I am not advocating sitting down to write with nary a notion of where you are heading (though, if that gets your pen moving, then so be it!). Rather, I suggest planning your life story book by first organizing your family archive; then drafting a life timeline; and, next, narrowing down themes you would like to write about.
Once these architectural elements are done, you may begin writing. Create a regular schedule with reasonable expectations—perhaps 500 words a day, or if you are fitting your memoir writing in amidst full-time work responsibilities, maybe 1,500 words every weekend. Or ignore word counts altogether and tackle one story at a time.
Declare goals for yourself and set corresponding deadlines for accountability. Then, focus only on one goal at a time. You’ll see that as you start ticking off your objectives along the way, your momentum will carry you forward. With each story you write, I am willing to bet 10 more will pop into your head as future ideas!
2 - Narrow your topic.
During the prep work I recommend in the previous step, you should have narrowed down some themes for your memoir. I go into more detail about that here, but for now I want to encourage you to go even further: Take a look at the themes you may have chosen, then see how you might hone in on them even more.
Did you decide to write about your family travels growing up? Narrow your focus to, maybe, “What I learned driving around small-town America in my youth”; or “How taking pictures of my childhood travels helped me appreciate the world.” Note that while you of course can narrow a theme down from a subject perspective (instead of all your travels, focus on those in the United States or those from just your teen years), you can also narrow your focus by writing towards a lesson or insight.
The more precisely you can whittle your theme, the easier it will be to tackle writing about it.
3 - Say goodbye to perfectionism.
Ever heard the saying “Done is better than perfect”? Nothing will hamper your writing more than trying to get it perfect the first—even the second—time around.
Free writing exercises such as this one will hopefully get the words and ideas flowing, even if they are on a topic different from what you’d like to write about on any given day. Consider beginning your writing practice with a 10-minute free write, then shifting into writing about your self-assigned topic. Doing so often alleviates pressure and allows us to dive right in.
Don’t edit along the way, either. Just write. Get your thoughts down. Memoirist Anne Lamott has memorialized the expression “shitty first draft,” and writes in her beautifully encouraging Bird by Bird,
“The first draft is the child’s draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later… just get it all down on paper, because there may be something great in those six crazy pages that you would never have gotten by more rational, grown-up means.”
Is it perfection in life rather than perfection on the page you are concerned with? I’m no therapist, but I can say with conviction that none of us is perfect, and that we learn (and teach) from our struggles and failures, so writing about them can be valuable. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, remembering this caveat at all times: Just because you write it doesn’t mean anyone else has to read it! You maintain full control of your words and stories; you can rip them up or delete a file any time. But don’t be hasty: Give yourself some emotional and temporal distance from your writing before making such an assessment. If you’ve allowed yourself to be vulnerable in your memoir writing and then find yourself questioning if you went too far, wait a month and go back to read your words afresh. You may surprise yourself with the level of nuance and honesty in your writing. Ask yourself, Would one of my loved ones appreciate and relate to my words one day?
I admit, I didn’t manufacture more time in your schedule. But I hope I made the notion of writing about your life more approachable—and more efficient, so you can indeed fit it into your days. Start saying ‘no’ to things that don’t feed your soul, and start saying ‘yes’ to things such as this that you want to do but haven’t yet…! Set up a free half-hour consultation if you’d like a professional memoir coach to help guide you.
Dawn Roode’s curated roundup for the week of Sept. 23, 2026, is overflowing with recent reads on memoir, life story writing, and family history preservation.